That kiss. That earth-shattering kiss. She wanted to tell Gracie. Heck, she wanted to scream it from the hospital rooftop. It was a secret she couldn’t share. Her lips had still tingled when she’d awoken that morning. Disappointingly, she hadn’t dreamed about him last night as she’d anticipated. The only way she’d ever have Brady was in her dreams.
Sheila stood outside Dr. Mangone’s office knowing full well she should report the kiss and step down as his doctor. The kiss, at least the extent of the kiss, had been equally her fault. Even Sheila had to admit Brady’s offer to wait and find another doctor had been moderately appealing. All right, it had been downright tempting, but not worth the professional backlash that would ensue.
She couldn’t risk her career over a man—not again.
But, she realized now, even if she’d been a florist instead of a physician, she wouldn’t date Brady. Love was too rare and too precious to lose in an arena. She’d seen the devastated families of those who’d risked too much and died before their time. That life wasn’t for her.
Sheila walked away from Dr. Mangone’s door—she wasn’t going to get involved with Brady and there was no point in damaging her reputation over a kiss. She’d become one of those women who were married to their career. Maybe she’d adopt a cat or two. At least she’d have somebody to come home to.
Her pager went off, as did several others around her. Mass trauma en route. Sheila ran for the elevator and pressed the button repeatedly.
“Hurry up, hurry up.”
The doors opened as she and seven other trauma team members entered. She closed her eyes, clearing her mind of all things, including Brady. The image of his lifeless body filled her vision. Her eyes shot open. Not now. Not ever. The elevator door slid open again. It was showtime.
* * *
BRADY WALKED STEADILY down the sidewalk to the rodeo school’s outdoor arena with the aid of a walker. About a week had passed since he’d kissed Sheila and he still hadn’t seen her. An office building had collapsed and she’d been working mandatory overtime. At least according to a resident named Marissa that Sheila had sent twice to make her rounds.
He shouldn’t even want to see her after the way they’d ended things last week. He’d offered her a chance—a solution—and it wasn’t enough.
“Hey, son, how are you feeling today?” John Sawyer slapped him on the shoulder.
“This is a surprise. I’m doing great, Pops.” Brady gave his father a hug. “I’m barely using the chair anymore.”
“Before you know it, you’ll be back home.”
Brady noticed his father said home and not bull riding as he had during his entire hospital stay. It was especially odd considering a bull riding session was going on fifty feet in front of them. “You’ve been talking to Alice, haven’t you?”
John shrugged. “I talk to Alice every day.”
“Pops, come on.” He hated when his dad played coy.
“I was hoping to bring Gunner by after I got off work today, but Alice wanted to take him to the county fair tonight.”
“She couldn’t wait another day? The fair runs for two weeks.” Brady hadn’t seen Alice either. His father had brought Gunner by once during the past week and his son’s absence had begun to worry Brady. “Why isn’t she letting me see him?”
“You’re jumping to conclusions. They still serving dinner in there?” John nodded toward Dance of Hope. “I’m starving.”
“Me too.” Brady turned his walker-wheelchair around just as they released a bull and rider from the chute. He stopped and watched the young cowboy execute a perfect eight second ride and dismount. God, I miss that.
Now a few paces ahead, Brady’s father waited for him to catch up. “I know you’re worried about seeing Gunner. You have to understand, every day is the same here for you. But it’s summer. Gunner’s little playmates have invited him on day trips and to swimming pool parties. The kid has a pretty full schedule.”
“And I’m missing it.” Kids grew up so fast and by the time he left Dance of Hope, he’d have essentially missed four months of his son’s life. That was a lot at Gunner’s age.
“You could be missing a lot more,” John said.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Brady already knew the answer.
“Nothing.”
For the first time Brady noticed his father’s more-salt-than-pepper hair and slumped shoulders. The man had aged rapidly and Brady had an idea when it had begun. He couldn’t remember his father looking so weathered before the accident. He’d been by Brady’s side the entire time. Now his father had to work twice as hard to support not only himself, but also Brady and Gunner.
“What aren’t you telling me?”
“I don’t know, son.” His father removed his hat as they entered Dance of Hope. “The more I think about you getting back on a bull, the less I like it.”
“So Alice has gotten to you.”
John shook his head. “No. No she hasn’t.”
“Then it was my doctor.”
“You mean that pretty thing you were fawning all over? I wish she would call on me. She was cute.” John elbowed Brady mockingly. “I haven’t spoken with her either. I may be getting on in years, but I can still form my own opinions and I’ve done some research on that internet you’re so fond of. Before you say anything, hear me out, son. I know I can get you a job working with me.”
“You honestly want me to quit—to give up everything you’ve taught me.” Brady never imagined his father joining the antirodeo task force.
“I hope I taught you how to be a father more than I’ve taught you how to compete.” John gripped him by the shoulders. “A part of me wonders if you’re looking for the easy way out—a fast cash grab to pay off your debt. Life doesn’t work like that. So what if it takes you ten years to pay off your hospital bills, hell it may even take you twenty. At least you’ll be around for those twenty.”
“I’m doing it for mom too.”
His father took a step back. “Aw shucks, I didn’t want to do this with you today.”
“But you were planning to do it.” Brady wondered how long his father had felt this way. Had he been pacifying him all this time because he didn’t think he’d be able to compete again, only to finally come to the realization it was a real possibility? He thought he knew his father better than that. Then again, he thought he knew a lot of things he didn’t.
“I had to tell you how I felt. That’s the kind of man I am. I’m also the kind of man who stands beside his son no matter what. If you decide to compete again, I will support you, but as your father, I wish you wouldn’t. I know I don’t say it enough, but I love you, son.”
“Pops, I love you too.” Brady gave him a hug.
“And your mama loves you, God bless her. Come on, let’s get us some supper and you can tell me more about that pretty doctor you’ve been pining for.”
It was the first time his father had openly mentioned his mother. It wasn’t much, but it would do for now. “I have not been pining for Sheila,” Brady said under his breath.
“Don’t lie to me.” John waggled his finger in Brady’s face. “I raised you. I know what you look like when you’re thinking about the rodeo and I know what you look like when you’re pining over a woman. You had your pining face on when I pulled up.”
Brady laughed loudly. “Pops, what am I going to do with you?”
“Stick around long enough, and maybe you’ll figure it out.” John entered the cafeteria, leaving Brady to stand in the hallway, the laughter gone.
Now he didn’t know what to do.
* * *
SHEILA LOVED SURGERY but she missed her routine more. She walked through Dance of Hope’s main entrance, pausing to stop at the photo of the man behind the hippotherapy center’s vision. She’d never met Joe Langtry personally, but she admired his strength and commitment to the community. The fact he was astride a bucking bronco in the photograph didn’t help matters when it came to Brady Sawyer. If he could only see past the snapshot he had of himself, he would develop his own vision for the future. She trailed her fingers along the picture frame and smiled at Joe. “Maybe you’re the answer I’ve been looking for.”
Sheila made a beeline for Kay Langtry’s office. Unable to find her, she scoured the grounds until Gracie informed her Kay had gone into town to meet some friends for dinner. Sheila wanted to find out if her idea was worth pursuing without raising Gracie’s suspicions. Kissing Brady had heightened her anxiety over being caught. She tried to tell herself if she found Brady an alternate source of income that was both acceptable and gratifying to him, then she’d be able to walk away...or it would give her another reason to consider a relationship with him. No, dating a patient—current or former—was off-limits. Her intentions were purely unselfish. Weren’t they?
She hadn’t purposely avoided him for the past week but she had welcomed the much-needed break. She left the rest of the world outside when she entered the operating room...at least she used to. Every time she operated on another man from the horrific building collapse, she saw Brady lying on her table. And that was one of the many reasons doctors shouldn’t get involved with patients.
During her internship she’d been warned by her attending to never get involved in a patient’s personal life. Especially when it came to family members and their ability to pay. She’d followed that rule to the letter except when she was concerned for her patients’ safety. Her inquiries had uncovered a handful of abuse situations. She always feared abuse when broken bones couldn’t be explained, especially among children and the elderly.
“I need your opinion on something,” Sheila said to Gracie.
“Sure.” Gracie attached lead ropes to two of the hippotherapy horses. “Do me a favor. Can you bring those two in behind me?”
Sheila snapped lead ropes on the remaining two horses and followed Gracie into the stables.
“Do you see any future potential for Brady to work here, at Dance of Hope?” Sheila asked.
“Thomas and I were talking about that the other night.” Gracie took the ropes from Sheila and led each horse into its stall. “He’d make a great therapist. He’s supportive, driven and goal oriented, but he’d never do it. You’re paid a pretty meager salary the first year while you’re earning your certification. Is that what you wanted to talk to Kay about?”
Sheila followed Gracie back outside to collect the rest of the hippotherapy gear. “I thought maybe if it came from Kay he might consider it.”
“I guess it’s worth a shot, but he’s determined to compete again.” Gracie collected the helmets and fabric saddles from the fence rails. “That’s his daily motivation. He doesn’t say much to me about it, but Thomas says it’s pretty much all he talks about. Plus he’s already begun training with Shane over at the rodeo school.”
“Wait. He’s training with Shane Langtry?” Sheila blew out a breath. Shane wasn’t just one of the school’s owners, he was renowned for turning riders into champions.
“He started working him a few days ago. Honestly, if he was going to train with anyone, Shane’s the best he could have asked for. He won’t push Brady past what he’s capable of handling. May I ask why you’re taking such an interest his personal life?”
Sheila wanted to argue that she was just inquiring into a patient’s well-being, but she feared Gracie would become even more suspicious. She opted to go with the truth. At least part of the truth. “After you’ve put a patient back together, it’s difficult to watch them return to the activity that caused the original injury. Those are the ones we tend to keep a closer watch over.”
“Fair enough.”
“Are you and Thomas free tonight?” Sheila asked. “It’s mandatory I take the next two days off and it’s probably my only chance to go to the county fair this year.”
“That sounds good. Do you want to ride out there together?” Gracie asked.
“I came here straight from the hospital, so I’d like to go home and shower first. Do you think we could meet up around seven at the main entrance?”
“Sure, let me feed the horses and find my husband before he makes other plans. He’s been playing poker with some of our older residents. Brady’s the ringleader.”
“Uh-oh, I heard my name.” Brady appeared out of nowhere on the path. “Good to see you, Doc. You just missed my dad. He was asking about you. What was this about me being a ringleader?”
“I was talking about your poker nights. You have fleeced my husband out of three bags of pretzel sticks already.” Gracie folded her arms across her chest. “Have you no shame?”
“Nope.” Brady winked. “Your husband bets with those honey mustard pretzels. They’re worth more than regular pretzels.”
“Yeah, well. You’re just going to have to make do without him tonight. He’s my date for the evening.” Gracie lightly brushed Sheila’s arm. “I’ll meet you at the fairgrounds entrance at seven. And you behave yourself, Brady. I don’t want to hear about any more people going into pretzel debt.”
“Will do, ma’am.” Brady touched the brim of his hat. “Heading to the Luna County Fair tonight? Alice took Gunner there this afternoon. You look great by the way.”
Sheila reached up and attempted to smooth her messy ponytail. She’d been so frazzled when she’d left the hospital she hadn’t even dared a glance in the mirror. She’d planned on avoiding Brady this evening since Marissa had given her a full progress report the day before.
“You’re just being polite, but that’s okay. I’ll take any compliment I can get today.” Sheila scanned the length of his body, noting he’d replaced the chair walker with a regular aluminum one. While she was glad to see his progress, she’d have felt better if he was using one of the walkers with a built-in seat just in case he needed a break. “You look even better than the last time I saw you.”
Sheila closed her eyes and hung her head. She couldn’t believe she’d just implied he’d looked good the last time she saw him. He had, in all his after-shower prekiss glory. Oh God, that kiss. “I should be—I need to get going. I have to shower and change before I meet up with Gracie and Thomas later.”
“Thank you for that vision.”
“What? What vis— Oh!” Great, now she could add babbling to her warm, fuzzy, blushing list. “When I last saw you, you were mad at me. Now here you are picturing me in the shower? How does that work?”
“I’m a guy.”
“Alrighty then.” Sheila had hoped he had a better answer, but the guy excuse was for the best. If he had said something sweet and charming, she’d probably swoon. Then she’d have to add that to the list too.
“I have missed you and I apologize for yelling at you when I fell.”
“That’s forgotten. I understood where you were coming from,” she lied. The day had been on her mind since she’d last seen him. Not because she was mad, but because she’d witnessed how strong his desire to help others was—and in an emergency, he couldn’t.
“One thing that bothered me, though.” Brady took a step closer to her and lowered his voice. “Why were you still outside my cottage so long after I’d asked you to leave?”
Sheila closed her eyes and shook her head slowly. “I will not answer that question.”
“Okay.” Brady stepped away from her. “Have fun tonight, I wish I could join you. I could use a little fun.”
Sheila watched his retreating form. She felt guilty for not asking him to join them. Technically, he could have. But if anyone from the hospital saw them together—it was too risky. She’d mention it to Thomas, then maybe he could arrange an outing with Dance of Hope tomorrow. That would be acceptable. Anything more than that was crossing the line and Sheila didn’t know if she’d be able to stop herself the next time.
* * *
“ARE YOU SURE you can get yourself back to Dance of Hope tonight?”
“I got it covered, thank you.” Brady had hitched a ride to the county fair with the brother of the resident army veteran, Greg.
“I wish I could have gotten you closer to the gate.”
Brady expanded his aluminum walker and tested it on the hard-packed dirt. “I’m good. I’ll consider it part of my therapy.” He waved goodbye and trudged toward the fairgrounds entrance. By the time he made it there, it was half past seven. His body was drenched in sweat and his shirt was clinging to his chest. Not exactly the romantic image he wanted to portray. His arms and legs ached. It had been one thing walking around Dance of Hope and Bridle Dance Ranch—trekking half a mile across the parking lot was unexpected.
He paid his entry fee and hobbled to the nearest vendor. He desperately needed water and a place to sit. Calliope music played in the background as bells rang from impossible-to-win carnival games. He twisted the top off his water and drank it in one long swallow. Tossing it into the recycling bin, he ordered another. Children gathered around a red makeshift pond with hundreds of yellow rubber duckies floating in it. They held little blue-and-white lifesaver rings in their tiny hands, tossing them in an attempt to land them around the ducks’ necks. Surprisingly, a few had actually scored high enough to win a small stuffed animal. He wondered if Gunner had stood on that very spot, playing the same game. He’d called Alice on the way to the fairgrounds to see if she’d still be there when he arrived. They’d missed each other by an hour, but she’d reassured him that she’d bring Gunner by over the weekend.
The sun was low in the sky, casting a golden glow over the towering rides. A Ferris wheel carried passengers to the highest point at the fairgrounds while a human slingshot launched its tethered passengers into the air. Terrorizing screams mixed with laughter. The salty scent of dry roasted peanuts danced among those of fried mozzarella sticks and funnel cake.
He made his way down the wide aisles, still unable to find a place to sit. He’d opted out of bringing one of the walkers with a built-in seat, thinking he’d have the stamina to make it around the fairgrounds. He’d overestimated his abilities and regretted his ambitious decision. His ten thousand steps a day on the ranch were evenly spaced between sunrise and sunset. Right now, his body ached as if he had walked ten thousand steps in the last hour.
“I’ll never find her in all these people,” Brady said aloud. He thought about sitting on the ground, then feared he wouldn’t be able to get up again. “Don’t they have seats at these things?” There had to be other disabled people there.
He’d seen a handful of people roll past in wheelchairs, but he’d been the only person using a walker. Of course he was. Most people knew their own limitations. He had to push his limits daily. After the multiple sessions he’d had today both in hippotherapy and with Shane at the rodeo school, he was in no condition to walk around the county fairgrounds. “What the hell was I thinking? Sheila wouldn’t even want to be seen with me like this.”
“Brady?” He turned to see Thomas holding a gigantic soda and a salted pretzel. What was with the guy and pretzels?
“Hey, man. How are you doing?” Brady tried to keep it casual. His legs began to shake. “Please help me. I need to sit down.”
Thomas sat his soda on the ground and ducked behind a vendor’s stand, returning with a folding chair. He flipped it open and placed it behind Brady. “What are you doing here? Sheila and I were just talking about planning an outing tomorrow or the next night and bringing everyone from Dance of Hope here.”
Brady hadn’t been happier to sit in all his life. “You were?”
“It was Sheila’s idea, but Gracie and I agreed to come along and help out. So did Sheila. We plan to talk to everybody about it in the morning.”
Brady laughed. He would have come to the county fair with Sheila tomorrow, probably dropped off at the entrance, using the proper walker, and he wouldn’t be all hot, sweaty and disgusting. “That’s wonderful.”
“Why are you using this walker? It’s not meant for this.” Thomas waved his hands in the air for emphasis. “Never mind. I know exactly what this is about. Let me get Sheila.”
“Wait.” If Thomas suspected his feelings for Sheila then there was a good chance Gracie did too. He didn’t want to risk Sheila’s job. “This was a bad idea. A really bad idea.”
Thomas squatted in front of him. “I think it was a sweet romantic gesture that she’ll definitely appreciate. And a really bad idea.”
“I don’t want her to get in trouble.”
“If you ever repeat this to anyone, I will deny it. My wife does not have to know you’re here. Give me a few minutes, and I’ll take care of it.” He reached for his soda and took a bite of his pretzel. “Just sit tight.”
Before Brady had a chance to argue, Thomas disappeared into the throng of fairgoers. Brady looked around at the able-bodied men walking with their arms around their girlfriends. They had it so easy and they didn’t even realize it. Every step he ever took he’d taken for granted. He glanced down at his jeans and navy blue T-shirt. He didn’t have much of a selection at Dance of Hope. What he had served dual-purpose—both therapy and leisure. At least they had on-site laundry.
He stretched out his legs, allowing himself to lean back against the metal chair. It wasn’t perfect, but it did quite nicely. He wished he could tuck his bright silver walker away somewhere.
“I can’t believe my eyes.” Sheila’s hand flew to her chest. “I thought Thomas was kidding when he said you were here. Brady, what are you— How did you—”
“Because I wanted to see you, and I hitched a ride.” There he’d said it. It was out in the open. No hiding. No denying it. “Tell me it was worth it.”
Brady tucked his legs and stood. Sheila grabbed his elbow to support him. “I can’t believe you did this for me.”
“I wanted to feel normal for a night. I don’t know what I expected. I knew you were with Gracie and Thomas and it’s not like we can walk around in public holding hands, I just wanted to see you somewhere other than Dance of Hope or the hospital.”
Sheila wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “You’re making me cry, Brady Sawyer—and nobody makes me cry.”
“Aw, sugar, don’t shed a tear on my account.” Brady smiled down on her. “I should go and let you be with your friends. I’m sure there are other people here who know you and you shouldn’t be seen with me.”
“I can’t let you leave. Then what would have been the point of your coming?” Her voice was soft and soothing. For a moment he thought she’d reach up and kiss him. If only she had. “I’d fail as your doctor if I just left you here. There are some bleachers two rows over—can you make it that far?”
“I’ve had a little rest. I’ll be okay to walk over there. It was the walk across the parking lot that did me in.” The setting sun warmed the color of her skin. She appeared almost ethereal before him in a pair of khaki shorts and a thin ivory chemise. “You are so beautiful.”
“I think you’re going to be the death of both of us.”
He already felt like he was in heaven when she was near.