Cady

 

“Now, Cady, child. This is too much.” Rosie holds up the cashmere robe, her brittle fingers brushing back and forth over the soft fabric. “I’m keeping it, but you shouldn’t have.”

Sebastian and I laugh at her humor. I hope when I’m her age that I still laugh like she does. Sometimes, at least. When she’s not being crotchety. “I’m glad you like it.”

“I love it.”

The three of us already ate a dinner of ham and mashed potatoes, which Sebastian made, and I brought Rosie’s favorite Cherry Cheesecake Kringle for dessert.

I opened my gifts from them, which were a sweater and scarf set from Rosie and a really pretty sign that says She reads books as one would breathe air, to fill up and live from Sebastian. It’s one of my favorite quotes from Annie Dillard. He got Rosie a heated blanket and a pair of slippers that massage her feet.

I got him tickets for a play he wants to see in Chicago, along with a gift certificate and hotel reservation for him and his boyfriend, and of course, I told him I’d spend the night with Rosie while he was away.

As much as I’m trying to enjoy our time together, I’m actually kind of irritated because I haven’t talked to Gabriel all day. After what happened between us last night, I could have sworn he would have at least called me today.

He kept his word and was there when I woke up, but it was almost as soon as my eyes were open that he kissed me quick, then took off with the promise to talk to me soon. But the day is nearly over, and I haven’t talked to him again.

I can’t help but be irritated even though I’m trying not to let that affect our evening.

“Here, let me throw that out.” I take the wrapping paper and pick up the scraps off the floor, then walk out of the den to her kitchen.

“What’s wrong?” Sebastian asks from behind me, and I jump, so caught up in my thoughts I didn’t hear him follow me.

After shoving the paper in the recycle bin, I turn around. “Nothing.” I smile.

“Girl, that is so fake. What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing… I mean, it’s something, but it’s just stupid.”

“What?”

I go to the sink and start rinsing dishes. “He hasn’t called me today.”

I told Sebastian and Rosie about Gabriel as we were eating dinner. To say they were happy was an understatement. And when Sebastian and I were getting dessert ready, I gave him more details, and he was really happy because he says I deserve to finally be in love. I didn’t deny it, but I didn’t agree either. It’s one thing to think it but another to say it out loud.

“Did you call him?”

I turn and glare at him. “Shut up.”

He laughs. “Well, did you?”

“No.”

“So why don’t you pick up the phone instead of bitching?”

“He left this morning and said he’d talk to me soon, so I’m waiting for him to call because I don’t want to bug him.”

“You think he’d think you’re bugging him if you called?”

I shrug.

“Didn’t he get you a phone so you could call him?”

“No, he said so he could get ahold of me. And he still hasn’t shown me how to use it.”

“Girl”—he laughs—“you’re clueless. Let me give you some advice. When you have a man, a hot man, who worships the ground you walk on, who buys you a phone, who makes sure you get to and from work safely, who claims you publicly in front of everyone he knows, you let that man know you feel the same. He ain’t messin’ around with you, Cady. Stop acting like you’re along for the ride when he clearly wants you to crawl over into his lap and take the wheel with him.”

I splash him with water, and he laughs as he walks away. But he’s right, and I know it. I need to show Gabriel that I’m as into him as he is me. I guess it’s just hard because I have been into him forever. It’s difficult to get out of my own head to tell him that without feeling… I dunno… weird about it for whatever reason.

So after I finish the dishes, I hang around for another hour, and then get a cab home. Once I get ready for bed in sexy pajamas instead of a gross T-shirt, I crawl beneath the covers, turn over to my side, and call Gabriel from my landline.

But he doesn’t answer.

And he doesn’t call me back.

 

 

I rush to the door in my not-sexy red flannel pajama bottoms that I changed into this morning and am not surprised when I open the door to see Gabriel. Who else would it be? A smile lights up his face. “Merry Christmas. Sorry I didn’t call you back last night. I was busy, and by the time I got a free minute, it was late, and I didn’t want to wake you.” He greets me and swoops down to steal a kiss. I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck, feeling much better that he came right out with that.

“I missed you,” I confess with my face smooshed against his chest. It’s only been a day, but it seemed like forever, and I was worried he was going to bail on me already, so seeing him makes me feel so much better.

He shuffles us inside and closes the door behind us, then sifts his fingers through my hair to cup the back of my head with one hand. The other wraps around my waist, and he pulls me against him even tighter. His fingers put pressure on my head, and I tilt it back to look up at him. Warm gray eyes and a lazy smile make me hyper-aware of every tingle throughout my body. “Missed you, too.” He bends down, and I push up on my toes until our lips touch. It’s soft and sweet and perfect and makes my entire body tingle with happiness.

“What are you doing here?”

“Baby, you’re here. Where else would I be?” He shoves his hand in his coat pocket and then pulls out a small wrapped box. “This is why I was too busy to call you yesterday.”

I tremble and take a step back. Oh, my God.

“Don’t freak out. It’s not a ring.” He pauses and then winks. “Yet.”

I laugh awkwardly because if it was, I’d say yes, but the fact that I even thought that and it wasn’t a ring is embarrassing.

“It means more than a ring to me.” He hands me the red velvet box, and for the first time ever, I notice he looks nervous. His presence is normally so… commanding. He’s confident and funny and just so Gabe that seeing him as anything but that is humbling. “Open it.”

I take the box without having a clue what it is, but I can tell it means something to him. A lot. I need to give him his present, too. “Wait here.” I pull away.

“No.” He pulls me back. “Please, Cady. Open it.”

“Okay.” Licking my lips, I flip the lid open. The springs make it snap, and I almost drop it when I see what it is. My heart skips a beat, and my throat dries up. I have to swallow four times before I can talk. “Is this what I think it is?”

He takes the box from my shaky hands and lifts the necklace out carefully, then unlocks the clasp. His arms wind around my neck, and he stares into my eyes while he secures it. “If you think it’s my very first guitar pick framed in diamonds and made into a pendant for you to wear, then yeah, sugar. It’s what you think it is.”

“I can’t take this.” There’s no way. None. He can’t be giving this to me.

“You can.”

I finger the charm and know that him giving this to me is huge. If I hadn’t already come to my decision, this would have solidified it. “It’s beautiful.”

“I’ve had that since I was twelve when I went to my first Masking Maverick concert. He was my idol… threw it right at me. I carried it with me everywhere.” He laughs, but it’s very bittersweet. “I’ve lost my phone at least a dozen times, and I never remember where I put my car keys or my wallet, but I always knew exactly where that was. And now I want you to have it because when I’m gone, I want you to know that I’m always with you.”

I hate myself for questioning him. For doubting myself and letting my insecurities get the best of me. If my father was here, he’d be so ashamed of my lack of confidence. But he’d be so fucking proud of Gabriel.

“Wait here.”

He nods tightly, probably not thrilled with my reaction, and I run to my room to grab his present, then rush back to him. My box to him is small as well, but it’s still bigger than his. It’s wrapped, too, with a green bow on top. “Merry Christmas.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I wanted to.” I smile, excited and a little bit anxious. “Open it.”

He tears off the paper and opens the lid. His brows draw down as he looks at the beaded bracelets, then he takes them out. “They’re cool, sugar.”

“They were my dad’s.” Your idol’s. The one I killed.

“Baby.” His voice drops, and the smooth vibration makes my inner thighs tingle.

“I told you he taught me how to play guitar. Those wooden balls are made of the remnants of the first guitar he ever had when he was a kid. He wore them all the time when—” I stop talking before I say on tour. And I don’t know why I didn’t think that Gabriel wouldn’t figure out who I’m talking about since my dad did wear these all the time. Shit. I just have to hope he doesn’t put two and two together. “When he was awake, those were on his wrists. I figured you already have everything you need or want, so I wanted to give you something that meant something to me. So when you go on tour, you’ll have them as a reminder of me.”

He slides one on his wrist. Then he lifts my left hand. With his eyes on mine, he slides the other bracelet down my fingers where it settles on my forearm, his thumb circles my ring finger before he pulls away. “I’ll always be thinking of you, and I think deep down you know that; you’re just protecting yourself, and I get it. I understand, but all I ask is that you give me a chance. Let me prove to you that you’re all I want. You’re the only woman I’ve ever needed before, and I don’t know what the fuck I did to get so goddamned lucky as to have you because I certainly don’t deserve you.”

“I’m the lucky one.”

He touches the bracelet. “Christ, Cady. I can’t believe you’d give this to me.”

“You gave me this.” I hold up the necklace. “And I can imagine how much it meant to you if you kept it all these years.”

“It means a lot to me, but you mean more. And speaking of more, I have another present for you.”

“You do not.”

He shakes his head and licks his lips, then toys with the bottom one with his teeth.

“What?”

“You’re just… I really, really fuckin’ like you, Cady. I hope you know that.”

I smile up at him, hoping he sees that I feel the same way.

“Let’s go. I’m gonna grab a blanket since you’ll probably be cold.”

“Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise.”

I laugh as he rips the throw off the couch.

“Let me go put on clothes.” I wore my pajama pants today because I thought I was going to be home alone watching Christmas movies all by myself.

“You don’t need ’em. Just slip your feet in those furry boot things, and let’s go.”

“Okay, okay. Sheesh. You’re impatient.”

“Yeah, I am. I was trying to woo you, but now that I have you, I’m done with that shit, so you get the real me. You’d better get used to it.”

I pause with my hands on my hips. “You were trying to woo me?”

“It worked, didn’t it?” he asks cockily.

I shake my head and fight a smile, and then push my feet into my UGGs and grab my keys. He follows and closes the door behind me. “You’re sure I don’t need anything else?”

“Nope. Just you.”

He hurries us to his SUV and opens my door for me. This is going to be the first time I’m in a car with him. I freeze. When his hands settle on my waist, I jerk out of his hold and spin around. “Whoa.” He rests his hands on my hips. “What’s wrong?”

I can’t hide this from him. “A car accident is what killed my father.”

His shoulders drop, and he cocks his head. “I’m sorry, sugar.”

“That’s why I don’t have one, and I choose to walk. I get terrible anxiety if I have to ride in a car, but when I do, I always know about it so I can talk myself into it. I wasn’t expecting this, so I didn’t have time to prepare. It just caught me off guard. I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. Do you just want to get in and sit for a little before we go?”

I don’t answer because my throat closes up.

“Or if you decide you can’t, then we’ll just stay here.”

I stare into the foggy clouds of his eyes.

“You’re safe with me, Cady. Always and everywhere, but most of all, I need you to feel safe to talk to me about what you’re feeling so I can do right by you. So if you don’t want to get in my Tahoe, we won’t.”

I take a breath and want to tell him so much. But I just simply say, “I want to.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

He kisses my nose, and I turn around, where he helps me up, then closes the door and jogs around the front. “The seat is already warm,” I tell him as he sits down.

“I know, I put it on on the way over so it would be. Don’t want my baby being cold.”

I wonder if I told him that I loved him if that would scare him.

He reaches over and holds his palm open, and when I put mine in it, his fingers grasp my hand. I rest my head on the seat as he drives us wherever we’re going without saying a word. He must sense that I need it. I haven’t actually driven since the accident, and even being in a car makes me nauseous. But just like the dark, being with Gabriel, I’m not scared right now.

He pulls up to the curb of a building on the other side of town. I haven’t been over here for a long time, and because it’s Christmas, the street is deserted.

“I think it’s closed.”

“It is.” He shrugs and gets me out of the car, then the door to the old movie theater is magically opened, and I follow him through. “Come on.”

It only has one movie at a time, and it’s really small, but classic, so a lot of people enjoy it. I look around at the vintage posters and don’t pay attention to the fact that he’s pulled me to the theater and we’re standing in the middle of the seats. “What are we doing?”

“Just wait.”

He yanks me in front of him, my back to his chest, and wraps me in his arms. The moment the screen is illuminated, I burst out crying. My shoulders shake and my knees wobble and the heartwarming realization that this man actually cares about me pours out of my soul. That he’s for real. That he’s mine.

“Don’t cry, Cady.”

“I… I can’t believe you did this.”

“I’d do anything for you.”

He pulls me down, and I curl up in his lap. He tucks the blanket over me and holds me in his arms, and together, in the dark of a movie theater, we watch It’s a Wonderful Life.