One of the most common sources of unhappiness is letting unsatisfactory situations persist unnecessarily. It’s one thing to realize that you need to pull yourself out of a predicament. But it’s quite another thing to know where to start – and to actually make that start. Wanting to change is important, but there is no substitute for action. One of the reasons why we can get stuck and not take action is that we over-analyze our thoughts about the way we are thinking – talk about analysis paralysis! The first question to ask yourself is, “Is the change I want to make worth my effort?” If the answer is yes, read on.
Taking action without thoughtful preparation is like setting sail without a compass or a map. Imagine you are miserable in a job you have been doing for many years – but you see no way of making a breakthrough. You are stuck. In this situation you need to get to grips with precisely what it is that is troubling you. Perhaps it’s to do with pressure of work, or lack of stimulation, or the feeling that you are not making a valuable contribution or have nowhere to go next in the job. Or perhaps you just need a change. But feeling restless and deciding that you’ll seize the next opportunity that comes along is not a recipe for turning your life around. Better to look out for – or make for yourself – an opportunity that addresses your particular dissatisfactions.
A written analysis is always a good place to start – clearly stating what you want to change helps you to define your goals and avoid distractions. The advantage of detailed self-analysis is that it gives you a way to turn a negative view of your situation – “I don’t want to do my job any more” – into a positive view, a set of goals that in turn you can convert into a program of action, step by step, creating a natural rhythm of change.
Once you know what you are aiming for, taking steps to achieve it will automatically make you feel more positive. Taking action is energizing and empowering, and will help you feel better about the future. Even looking up information on the Internet should be enough to refocus your mind on a realistic prospect of change. You know where you want to go; and you have started taking measures to get there. Once you have set wheels in motion you’ll find that they take you along with them in a new momentum. Things start to happen, prompting a response from you. With your master-plan in mind, you react in ways that serve you. At last you are following your curve of purpose in a spirit of optimism.
Setbacks may occur, but the energy of change is too strong for them to throw you off course for long. Through flexible thinking and creative problem-solving (see pp.58–61) you continue to make progress. Whenever you reach a key stage along the way, take the time to relish your accomplishment. Register how good it feels and use this memory to spur you on to further achievements.
Here are some watchpoints for honing your action skills:
Take responsibility for creating the change that you want. Other people may be able to help you, but the driving force behind the process must come from within you.
Get out of your comfort zone. You need to challenge the way you have always done things.
Take control of your time. Dedicate a specific amount of time to creating a plan and putting it into action.
Surround yourself with positive people to encourage you along the way. Negative people can drain your energy by discouraging you when you try to accomplish something new.
There is no excuse for excuses. Stop wasting your energy coming up with reasons why you can’t and channel your energy into finding ways in which you can.
Don’t be governed by your moods. If you wait until you feel like doing it, you may never do it, so choose to be disciplined instead of waiting for your mood to change.
Let go of perfectionism. If you refuse to accept anything less than perfection, then the almost certain prospect of failure (in your eyes) will make it impossible to motivate yourself to embark on a project. Lower your standards in order to get started.
Now – right now – is the time to take action. To start the process, answer these questions in your journal (see pp.36–9)
• What do I want to change?
• What attitudes are holding me back?
• What will it cost me to try to make this change?
• What will it cost me if I don’t try?
• In what ways will my life be improved if I make the change?
• What will I need to do to make this change happen? (If you don’t know yet, write down the names of people who can advise you.)
• What is one thing that I can do today to move forward?