Just like our physical health, it is easy to take mental health for granted: we only focus on it if it goes wrong. However, applying the following optimistic principles to our mental health can help us to maintain it in the best shape possible.
Express your emotions. The ability to express your feelings is crucial to positive mental health – it is emotional intelligence in action (see pp.20–21). Laugh, cry, be angry, be joyful. If we stifle our feelings, it makes it hard for people to relate to us. However, try to manage fear, anxiety and guilt: an excess of these emotions will not serve you well. Use your journal (see pp.36–9) to identify negative emotions and to understand why you are feeling them.
Live a life of purpose. Meaningful activity gives you reason to get out of bed every day. A great deal of satisfaction can be gained from doing what you were meant to do in life (see pp.152–55); otherwise we are likely to feel bored, frustrated and unfulfilled.
Love and be loved. Lasting, loving relationships (see pp.126–131) foster a sense of belonging and a system of mutual support, which promote positive mental health. Discussing our concerns with close friends often helps us to put our problems into perspective and to find ways to deal with them. And empathizing with your friends’ problems gives you the satisfaction of helping someone else (see pp.142–45), as well as stopping you from becoming preoccupied with your own worries. In order to become close to other people, we need to accept ourselves – it is difficult to love someone who does not believe that they are worthy of love.
The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
Marcus Aurelius (AD 121–180)
Accept yourself. Let go of the tyranny of perfectionism and negative self-talk. Accepting yourself does not mean that you cannot improve and grow. It just means that you already see yourself as a worthwhile person. Everything that you become from now on is a bonus, so celebrate your achievements (see pp.22–3), rather than dwelling on your mistakes.
Be flexible. Our lives are constantly changing, often in ways that we cannot control. What we can do – and what we must do if we are to thrive rather than just survive – is to accept new circumstances and adapt to them. It is perfectly normal to fear the unknown. However, if we trust in our ability to handle change and are open to new experiences, we can overcome our fear.
Find the balance. Prioritizing the demands placed upon us and allotting time accordingly helps us to minimize the distressing feeling of being pulled in many directions at the same time. Finding balance gives you precious time: time with family and friends, time alone, time to work, time to play.