EXERCISE 16

Create “couple time”

Relationships require an investment of a precious resource, something that we are always struggling to find more of – time. This exercise suggests ways in which you and your partner can reserve time together, simply enjoying each other’s company or collaborating in fulfilling activities.

1. Schedule a regular time together, such as a Friday night or a Sunday morning. Make it a ritual. If you keep to a regular time, you are unlikely to schedule something else in that time slot by mistake: “Friday night? I can’t. My wife and I always go for dinner on Friday nights.”

2. Taking action is good for your mood. Sharing this experience with your partner is also good for your relationship. It doesn’t matter what you do, it’s the sharing that counts: perhaps do exercise together or work side by side in the garden.

3. Television can be an intimacy thief, stealing what precious time we do have. If at all possible, create a television-free zone in your home that is set up for conversations, not distractions.

4. Take a half-hour walk with your partner each day. Use this time to re-connect with each other, to share concerns. If it has been so long since you and your partner have spent time alone that you don’t know what to talk about, tell them what you think are the positive aspects of your relationship. That’s always a great place to start.