Clay watched as Allegra turned and swept away. Even bundled in her wool cloak, there was something defiant in the height of her head, the set of her dainty boot against the deck. She was so very determined to do this on her own.
He couldn’t blame her. He’d felt the same way when he’d left Boston. He couldn’t wait to put distance between him and everything connected with the name of Howard—arrogance and greed and overbearing authority. What he had now, little as it might seem to her, he’d earned with the brains and brawn the good Lord had given him. He wasn’t about to change that, for anyone.
“Now, there’s a fine-looking woman.” A gentleman strolled up to Clay, the golden lion’s head on the handle of his ebony walking stick glinting in the sunlight. He offered his gloved hand. “Josiah Reynolds. I understand you’re a Howard.”
Clay didn’t accept the man’s hand. “How can I help you?”
Reynolds lowered his arm. In his gray sack coat hanging loose about his shoulders, he looked short and sturdy, and only the bristling brown mustache over his thick lips prevented him from resembling a bulldog.
“No help required but the honor of your company,” he assured Clay, pulling his coat closer against the icy breeze that puffed off the ocean. “The way I figure it, those of us who are bachelors must band together if we’re to survive this trip unshackled.”
Clay grinned at his joke. “I thought all the ladies were set on finding a husband in Seattle, not aboard ship.”
Reynolds smiled. “I hope you’re right. My home is in San Francisco. I may yet escape the noose.” He glanced at a passing lady who had prominent front teeth and shuddered.
“If you ask me,” Clay said with a shake of his head, “you could do worse than to marry one of these women. They have more gumption than half the men I know. It isn’t easy leaving everything and everyone behind.”
“True enough,” he agreed, giving his walking stick a thoughtful twirl. “But any lady who has to cross a continent to find a husband must have something wrong with her.”
Clay scowled at him, and the fellow excused himself to find other company. Clay shook his head again, this time at his own attitude. Only yesterday, he had been equally certain that only the desperate would take advantage of Mercer’s offer. But the ladies he’d met so far challenged that theory.
Allegra’s friend Ms. Stanway was as fearless as she was fetching. Ms. Stevens, who had offered him the blanket last night, was as sweet-tempered as she was sweet-faced. Any number of these women could have found beaux even in the war-ravaged East. Why take a chance on Seattle?
“And a pleasant morning to you, Mr. Howard,” Ms. O’Rourke said as she sashayed up to him. The breeze had turned her cheeks a pleasing pink, and her brown eyes sparkled as she grinned at him, arms buried in the sleeves of her rust-colored wool cloak. “Still unengaged? Such a slacker, you are.”
She must have overhead his conversation with Reynolds. Clay chuckled. “I’m sure you’ll have no trouble finding a gentleman to propose, if that’s what you’re after.”
She leaned against the railing. “And isn’t that what every lass is after? A nice rich lad of good family who’s kind on the eyes.”
Clay’s surprise must have been showing, for she laughed and said, “What—don’t all you gents pine for something similar? A pretty girl who will cook and bake and clean for you?” She fluttered her cinnamon-colored lashes. “Some of us have better ways to spend our time.” She pushed off the railing and all but skipped down the deck.
“You’ll find Ms. O’Rourke quite outspoken,” Ms. Stanway said in her wake. She offered Clay a smile that did not seem to warm her blue eyes, which were a few shades lighter than Allegra’s. “But she is correct. Not all of us are hoping to marry when we reach Seattle.” She nodded to two of the women who were standing farther along the railing, gazes out to sea. “The Prescott sisters worked in the cotton mills in Lowell. Those were shuttered during the war and don’t look to be opening soon.”
“So they’re seeking employment,” Clay surmised. “And what about you, Ms. Stanway? Why are you going so far from home?”
That smile remained frozen on her face. “I lost my brother and father to the war, sir. There is no home to return to. Excuse me.”
She continued past, head high, carriage serene. The ocean breeze no more than ruffled the feather on her hat. He had a feeling if she had debuted in Boston they would have dubbed her the Ice Princess. But then, they wouldn’t know the story of her losses.
He’d thought he knew Allegra’s story. She’d been born into a well-respected though slightly less affluent family than his. She’d risen to the top of Boston social circles. She’d married Frank; they’d had a child together. But though she’d lost her husband in the war, she still had a home to return to. As much as he’d fought with his family, he knew they would never require her to find a job to support her and her daughter, if for no other reason than such uncivilized behavior might harm their social standing. With a place assured her, why was she so set on Seattle?
* * *
Allie spent most of her second day aboard ship learning the routines of mealtimes, setting up her own routine with Gillian and determining how she and Maddie would share chores in their little room. Mr. Mercer also gathered his little flock and expressed his concerns for their safety.
“The eyes of the world are upon us, my dears,” he told them as he paced before them in the upper salon, the tails of his coat flapping with each step. “We must do all we can to prove we are endowed with the utmost of taste and civility.”
“He should have thought of that before he hid in the coal bin,” Maddie murmured to Allie.
Mercer must have heard her, for he clasped his hands behind his frock coat, gazed at his charges and explained. “I am certain some of you were concerned about our little contretemps leaving New York. Rest assured that matters have been resolved.”
Many of the women seemed to accept that, but Allie could not keep silent. “Then you’ve determined what became of the missing money and will reimburse those who paid twice.”
Mercer adjusted the black cravat at his throat. “As I said, madam, the matter has been resolved, and I apologize for any confusion or consternation it may have caused. Now is the time for every lady under my escort to focus on her future in Seattle.” His gaze swept them again. “And there will be no fraternizing with the officers.”
Several of the women stiffened at that, and two went so far as to argue with him.
“Mother?” Gillian asked, turning to glance up at Allie from her place in Allie’s lap. “What’s fraternizing?”
“Nothing that need concern you for a good number of years,” Allie assured her. Maddie smiled at that, but Allie couldn’t help wondering about their benefactor’s motives. She had been willing to give him the benefit of the doubt concerning the tickets, but his vague assurances were not satisfying. Besides, when he had lectured in the Boston area, he’d said this trip would help the women start over after their losses in the war. If they wanted a husband and found one aboard ship, why did that concern him?
She found herself looking forward to dinner and the chance to ask Clay about the matter. Very likely it was that anticipation that set her heart beating faster when she sighted him entering the room.
Before she could question him, however, she had to take care of her daughter. She focused on cutting the slab of salty beef into smaller chunks Gillian could lift with her fork. Several of the other people were poking at the beans, mouths twisted in disgust, but Gillian sat beside Allie spooning up the brown blobs and chewing thoughtfully.
“Do you like them?” Allie couldn’t help asking.
“No, thank you,” Gillian said. “They’re icky.”
Maddie, who was seated on Gillian’s other side, shook her head. “They’re filling at least. But you’re a good girl to eat them.”
“Good girls eat everything on their plates,” Gillian said woodenly, as if repeating a lesson. “Good girls say please and thank-you.”
“Kind people say please and thank-you,” Allie replied, hurting for her daughter. “What you decide to eat has nothing to do with whether you are a good or bad person.”
Gillian frowned at her. “Then may I please have a piece of cake instead?”
Maddie laughed as she gave Gillian a hug. “Sure’n, me darling, I’d bake you one right now if we had the proper ingredients.”
“And I’d let you eat it,” Allie promised. “As it is, this seems to be the best the Continental can do. When we reach Seattle, I’ll bake you a cake myself.”
Gillian nodded and returned to her beans.
Allie nodded, as well. She’d never baked a cake before in her life, but surely Maddie or one of the other women could teach her. She hadn’t washed dishes or made beds before, either, and she was managing that. It wasn’t talent that was required but determination, and the Lord had given her plenty of that lately.
That was why she turned to Clay, who was sitting just down the table from them and looking no more pleased with the fare.
“Mr. Mercer said he had resolved the financial issues,” she told Clay. “Have you been reimbursed?”
He smiled at her, and she could not help smiling back. “Mr. Mercer hasn’t said a word to me, but your presence and Gillian’s are all the reimbursement I need.”
It was a charming thing to say, and she felt her cheeks heating. Enough of that!
“Then I can only hope to take up the matter with Mr. Holladay,” she promised Clay, “when we reach Seattle.”
He shrugged, and she wasn’t sure if it was because he thought she’d never convince the wily transportation king to part with the money or if Clay truly didn’t care. She made herself focus on the conversation around her, which, thankfully, was generally more satisfying than the food. She found it amazing how many people from all walks of life had decided to make this journey to Seattle.
Mrs. Boardman, for example, was blind, and her husband was particularly solicitous of her because, he told Allie with great joy, she was expecting their first child.
“Though it does concern me that we have only a dentist abroad for medical assistance,” Mrs. Boardman told Allie, one hand on her swelling belly.
“Ms. Stanway is a nurse,” Allie assured her. “I’m certain she’d be glad to help.”
Clay spoke up. “You may want to settle in San Francisco if a doctor’s care is important to you, ma’am. There’s only one in Seattle, and he treats natives as well as the settlers, so he tends to be busy.”
Mrs. Boardman thanked him for his advice, but Allie couldn’t help her frown. Only one doctor in the growing town? What if Gillian became ill or was injured? Would Catherine’s skills be enough to save her?
“Mortality on the frontier is notably high,” a young lady named Ms. Cropper put in as if she found the matter fascinating. “Cholera, typhus, dysentery, scalpings.”
Allie shuddered. Time to turn this conversation back to the pleasant. “New lands to discover,” she countered. “Opportunities for new friends, family.”
“Husbands,” Maddie put in with a wink.
“Employment,” Catherine added.
Others chimed in then with their plans to teach, to establish businesses. Allie caught Clay watching, a slight frown settled on his brow. Had they given him as much food for thought as he’d given them?
The meal ended with optimism restored. Everyone seemed in an excellent mood and so excited about their journey, the sights they’d see along the way, the hopes they had for their destination. But as the evening wore on and groups formed to read aloud, talk or play cards, Allie began to feel a change in the ship. Saltcellars slid from one side of the table to the other. Pots clanked in the galley. When she stood, she had to put out a hand to steady herself before taking a step.
One by one, the other women grew quiet, turned ashen. Some dashed up the stairs to the deck, and Allie caught a quick glimpse of them leaning over the railing before the door swung shut behind them and cut off the light. Others retired to their bunks. Clay helped more than one to the kitchen in search of hot water or empty bowls.
Allie was only thankful she, Maddie and Gillian were spared the bouts of seasickness. They retired a short time later and passed the night listening to the dishes clatter against each other in the galley. More than one woman called out that the ship must be sinking. Gillian clung to Allie with a whimper.
Allie had been that afraid many times—when she’d realized her answer at the ball had driven Clay out of Boston, when Frank had marched away to war, when Mrs. Howard had advised her in that cold voice that Allie’s only choice was to marry Gerald. Now she could not fear. Despite Clay’s comments about medical care in Seattle, she knew she was on the right path.
“The ship isn’t sinking,” she assured Gillian, stroking her daughter’s silky hair in the dim cabin. “Captain Windsor is very wise, and every sailor we’ve met is strong and able. They’ll see us safely through this storm.”
“But it’s so bumpy,” Gillian said, huddling closer.
“Think of it like a carriage ride along a country road,” Allie advised. “Just a few bumps and then we’ll be at our destination.”
“Seattle?” Gillian piped up hopefully.
“Seattle,” Allie promised. “But not for a while yet. We must be patient.”
Just then someone pounded on their stateroom door, and she recognized Mr. Debro’s voice. “Mrs. Howard! Mrs. Howard! Come quick! It’s Mr. Howard, and he’s in a bad way!”
* * *
Clay couldn’t remember being so miserable. He kept his eyes tight shut as the ship bucked and rolled. With a whoosh, a wave heaved up over the bulkhead and doused the door of his stateroom. An answering slosh told him that some of the seawater had forced its way under the door and was spilling across the hardwood floor.
Father, if it’s Your will that I die tonight, I’m ready.
A moment later, he heard the door click open.
“Shut it, Conant,” he ordered. “Or we’ll drown.”
“No one will drown today, Mr. Howard,” Allegra said.
Clay’s eyes snapped open. In the dim light of the brass lantern teetering atop the cabinet between the berths, she stood in her wool cloak with her friend Ms. Stanway beside her. Neither had donned a hat, and their unbound hair streamed down around their faces, bright blond and midnight black, the strands glistening with the rain.
He tried to sit up, despite the protest of his stomach that persisted in heaving along with the waves. He hadn’t done more than yank off his boots before falling into bed and pulling up the covers, but he didn’t want Allegra to see him like this.
She darted forward. “None of that, sir. Lie down, if you please, and let Ms. Stanway have a look at you.”
“I’m a nurse,” her friend reminded him, venturing closer. As Clay lay back, she felt his forehead, the touch cool and moist. “Give me your hand, Mr. Howard.”
Clay pulled his fingers out from under the blanket and was ashamed to see them shaking. Ms. Stanway didn’t so much as raise a brow as she pressed her own fingers against his wrist, holding it steady. Around her, he could see Allegra watching, her white teeth worrying her lower lip as if she was concerned.
It had been a long time since anyone was concerned about him. Warmth bathed his frozen limbs.
Ms. Stanway released him and straightened. “No sign of a fever, though his heart seems to be beating a bit fast,” she reported to Allegra before turning to Clay. “Are you in distress, Mr. Howard?”
“I’m fine,” Clay assured them, then had to clamp his mouth shut a moment as his stomach threatened to climb out of it. “There are others worse off. Go tend to them.”
The ship rolled, and Allegra and her friend grabbed the wooden posts of the berths to keep from toppling over. Clay felt the bile rising with the waves.
“Out!” he ordered.
“Basin,” Ms. Stanway countered, hanging on to the bed with one hand and pointing with the other.
Allegra allowed herself to fall across the cabin onto the bench, then braced herself against it to wrestle open the bottom compartment on the cabinet. Inside lay a porcelain-lined cast-iron pot.
Again the ship rolled, and she tumbled against the cabinet. Her face twisted with the impact.
“Just go!” Clay begged.
She ignored him, tugging up the pot and pushing it across the floor to his side.
Clay tightened his lips, hands pressing against his gut. He was supposed to be the strong one. He knew how to best the odds. He’d crossed the continent, twice. He’d survived the illness, hardship and treachery of the goldfields. He’d helped build dozens of businesses in Seattle. He was here to support Allegra, not the other way around. Even his bunk mate, the reporter Roger Conant, was out helping the moaning women.
“You’ll feel better if you let it go,” Ms. Stanway advised.
He knew he’d feel much worse.
“It’s all right, Clay,” Allegra murmured, shifting across from the bench to kneel beside him, one hand braced against the wall to hold herself steady. “I’ve tended Gillian when she was sick, and after Frank went to war, I helped at the hospital. I don’t mind.”
She should. Tending the sick might be a noble calling, but she hadn’t been born to it. She should be arranging dinner parties, skating arm in arm with a handsome suitor on the pond at Boston Common, dancing the night away, not kneeling at his side. Yet he knew another minute and he’d have no choice but to accept her help.
“Please go,” he told her and nearly winced at the pleading tone in his voice.
Her gaze was as unyielding as the sea pounding the ship. “I am going nowhere, sir, until I know you’re all right.”
He wanted to tell her to forget about him, that he’d done just fine alone up until this point, that he didn’t need anyone and preferred it that way.
But his stomach had other ideas.
“There, now,” she said after he’d finished coughing over the pot. Her hand rubbed strength into his back. “You’ll feel better shortly.” As if the sea agreed with her, it calmed a moment, and Ms. Stanway took the fetid basin to toss its contents into the waves.
Clay lay back and closed his eyes. Gentle fingers smoothed the hair from his brow.
“Take deep breaths,” Allegra murmured. “Everything will be all right now.”
Her voice was so soft, so tender, he felt as if she’d wrapped him in fine wool. He wanted to snuggle into it and never come out. “Forgive me,” he managed to say.
She gasped, and he opened his eyes again. She was staring at him as if he’d asked her to swim to the bottom of the ocean. “For—for what, sir?” she stammered.
He realized too late that she would remember he needed forgiveness for more than his sorry display a moment ago, but also for leaving Boston, and for abandoning his family and her. He was only glad when Ms. Stanway blew in the door again and shut it firmly behind her with a shudder.
“Have you the ginger, Allegra?” she asked, returning the pot to its place beside Clay as if she expected a repeat performance.
Her question obviously reminded Allegra of why she’d come. “What the cook would part with,” she admitted, pulling a pale, plump root from the pocket of her cloak. She broke off a piece and handed it to him.
The spicy scent struck his nostrils, and Clay pressed his head deeper into the pillow to escape it.
“It’s all right,” she assured him as if he were a child afraid of a spider on the wall. “It’s just ginger. Father always made us chew some before sailing out to the islands. He said it settles the stomach.”
He’d tried buffalo and rattlesnake as he’d crossed the country, so ginger couldn’t be so bad. Clay accepted the chunk, his strong fingers brushing hers before he ate the ginger. As if she’d been the one to take a bite, she swallowed as she leaned back. The taste reminded him of the cookies the Howards’ chef used to bake in the fall.
“Now, lie back,” Allegra advised, and he was obeying before he thought better of it. She pulled the blanket up, smoothed it over his chest. Either her hands were trembling, or the ship was rocking again. Her eyes were certainly as deep and stormy as the sea. He could easily drown in her gaze.
“Take slow, even breaths,” Ms. Stanway instructed. “In and out, and count to four between each.” She put her hand on Allegra’s shoulder. “We should go. There are others who need help.”
Allegra nodded. She rose, then suddenly bent and put her hand to his cheek, her face soft, but voice firm. “Don’t be concerned, Clay. Everything will be all right. God won’t let the ship go down.”
She was up and out the door before he could ask her how she could be so sure.