How could he have been so stupid? Why hadn’t he realized the impact seeing her mother’s twin sister, Nellie, would have on Molly? Seeing her had thrown him for a loop, as well. He’d never even thought about Nellie arriving in Colorado. She looked so much like Sally that at first he’d been fooled, as well. But when she began talking, Jake remembered how different from each other the twin sisters had been.
Feeling like a heel, Jake tried to turn Molly so that she would look at him. She refused. Molly only had eyes for her mother’s twin.
“I want my mama!” Molly wailed as she tried to pull away from Jake. Her little arms reached for Nellie.
For a brief moment, Jake saw Nellie’s face soften. But as if she realized she was about to give in to caring emotions, Nellie’s features hardened and she snapped, “Mama? Hardly.” Nellie walked toward them. She flicked her hair back over her shoulder with a manicured hand. Ignoring Molly, she walked on by them. “Did someone say something about eating? I’m starved. Marshall, bring my bags.”
Jake’s heart went out to Molly. The little girl’s face was filled with hurt and confusion. She finally turned her face to him.
“I’m sorry little one. She’s not your mama.” Jake held her little face in his hands. “Nellie is your mama’s sister, like I’m your daddy’s brother.”
He was startled when she jerked her face from him and rushed into Leah’s open arms. Jake heard the sobs tear from her small broken heart. His gaze moved to Leah’s.
Leah held fast to the child and patted her back. “It’s all right, Molly. You’ll be all right, I’m here.” Her troubled eyes searched his. “I’d like to take her to our room.”
Jake knew she was asking his permission. He nodded, unsure why she felt she needed to ask. “If you need me, call down the stairs. I’ll stay inside.”
She nodded and carried Molly into the house.
Jake turned to see the man Nellie had referred to as Marshall struggling to carry five large suitcases.
“Women can be a handful sometimes, can’t they?” Marshall set the cases down.
Jake didn’t comment on Marshall’s statement, instead he said, “Here, let me take some of those for you.” Jake wondered what Marshall’s relationship was with Nellie but didn’t ask as he picked up two of the cases. What were they doing here? Jake knew better than to ask. In the mood Nellie was in, he wouldn’t get an answer anyway. He’d wait—Nellie would tell him why she was here soon enough.
“Thank you.” Marshall grabbed the other two. He looked over his shoulder. “I’ll come back for those, Mr. Edwards. There’s no need for you to have to lug them in.”
The stagecoach driver answered, “I got them. Let’s get inside where it’s warm and there’s sure to be hot food for our bellies.”
Jake led the way to the house. He wanted to know more about this Marshall fellow but now wasn’t the time. When he stepped through the door he heard Nellie attempting to give orders to Agnes.
“Shouldn’t you have the place settings out already?” Nellie asked. She was sitting in Leah’s usual place.
“You’re welcome to help, if the way I’m preparing the table isn’t up to your standards.” There was an edge to Agnes’s voice that indicated Nellie had gotten off on the wrong foot with the older woman.
Nellie ignored her. “Jake, come sit by me. I want to hear all about your new life.” She patted the chair where she expected him to sit.
“How long are you staying?” he asked, instead of doing as she bid.
Marshall answered, “A couple of days.” He looked to Mr. Edwards for confirmation. “That’s when the next stage to Denver will be coming through, right?”
Mr. Edwards nodded. “Yep, if she don’t run into Indians or some other kind of trouble.”
Jake slipped into the chair beside the stage driver. He knew about the earlier attacks but wanted to see what the stagecoach driver might add and asked, “What other kind of trouble?”
Agnes set a bowl of hot rolls on the table and turned to leave again.
The older gentleman grabbed one of the rolls and tore into it with his fingers. “Attacks. Mostly happens at night. Can’t tell who the enemies are, so we’ve gotten to where, if we travel, it’s during the day.”
Jake thought about that for a moment. He glanced at Nellie, who seemed to be absorbed in looking the place over. “What’s the purpose of the attacks?”
“Well, so far we’ve lost horses, and every so often a passenger will lose money and jewels.” Edwards took a big bite of the bread and sighed. “I declare, Mrs. Frontz, you make the best grub on our route.”
The older woman set ham and beans out on the table. “Thank you, Mr. Edwards. That’s mighty kind of you to say.”
Jake noticed she hadn’t brought out any plates or bowls. He couldn’t help wondering if she intentionally left them till last just to irritate Nellie. As Agnes started back to the kitchen, Jake rose. “I’ll help you finish setting the table,” he offered, following her into the kitchen.
In a hushed voice, Agnes hissed, “That has to be the rudest woman I’ve had the displeasure of meeting in quite a while. I hope she’s no kin of yours.” She handed him a stack of bowls.
“No, but she was my brother’s sister-in-law.” He gathered up a handful of spoons.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll try to abide her.” Agnes patted his arm. She scooped up another plate with ham slices on it.
Jake opened the door and allowed her to pass in front of him. His gaze moved up the stairs and he wondered how Leah and Molly were doing. Even before he set the bowls and silver down, he’d made up his mind to go check on them. He walked to the stairs.
“Jake, where are you going?” Nellie pouted from the table. “I was hoping we’d get a chance to catch up.”
He turned to face her. “I don’t know if you noticed, Nellie, but my niece is pretty upset and my fiancée is trying to comfort her. I’m going to go check on my family.” Jake had already had about all he could stand of Nellie, and to think he had two more days of listening to her whine and be rude.
As he climbed the stairs he realized he’d referred to Leah as his fiancée and family. Why had he done so? Was he trying to prove to Nellie that Sally’s up and marrying his brother hadn’t bothered him as much as she probably thought? Or had he begun to think of Leah as family?
Jake stopped just outside the bedroom door. He heard voices from inside and it suddenly dawned on him that Molly was speaking.
“Leah, are you going to be my new mommy?”
He leaned forward and listened for Leah’s response.
“Molly, I can never take your ma’s place but I do want to be like a mother to you.”
“Why?”
“Because I love you as if you were my daughter.”
“Why?”
“Well, I never had a mother, and when I met you you’d just lost yours. I guess I felt a kinship with you. We seemed to belong together, and over the past few months I believe we’ve started to love each other, too.”
“I love you, Leah. But I don’t think I will love my aunt.”
Silence filled the space. Jake chanced glancing into the room. Leah had her back to him and was facing the window. He could see that she held Molly in her arms.
Leah spoke again. “Don’t you remember your aunt Nellie?”
“No, Ma didn’t like her. It was a long time ago but I ’member Ma told her never to come back to the farm.” The top of Molly’s head rubbed against Leah’s shoulder.
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Leah rested her head against Molly’s. “But you know what?”
“What?”
A smile filled Leah’s voice. “I’m glad your aunt came today.”
“Why?”
“Because she reminded you how to talk.” Leah hugged the little girl close.
Molly looked over Leah’s shoulder. “Hi, Uncle Jake.”
Leah turned to face him. “I didn’t hear you come in.” Her voice was soft and she radiated love and warmth.
Jake felt sure the emotions were for Molly and not him, but they still left Leah with a soft glow about her face. He couldn’t help comparing her to Nellie. Where his brother’s sister-in-law was rude, Leah was kind. Nellie had a striking beauty that soon turned cold; Leah had an inner beauty that sent off warmth and love to those around her. Of the two, he’d choose Leah’s beauty over Nellie’s any day.
He knelt down and held his arms out to Molly.
She climbed out of Leah’s lap and hurried to him. “Leah’s going to be my new ma,” Molly announced as she hugged him around the neck.
Leah stood facing them. Jake held Molly close and mouthed, “Thank you” to Leah.
She offered a sweet, sad smile.
Without thinking, Jake stood, picking up Molly, and then he held his arm out to Leah. He watched as she slowly walked toward him. When she stepped into his embrace, Jake knew this truly was his family.
He still didn’t trust it would last, but for now he was content. Jake inhaled Leah’s sweet fragrance. He refused to fall in love with her. Jake reminded himself that his heart couldn’t stand another breaking, but he would always cherish this moment.
* * *
Leah dreaded the moment when Jake would quit reading for the night and they’d all be spending another evening in Nellie’s company. Her husband, Marshall, was a kind man who followed Nellie around like a dog on a leash. It really was sad watching the way she ordered him around.
Jake sat with Molly on his lap. He finished reading about Noah and the flood. The little girl had listened quietly. At times her eyes had grown big but she’d held her questions until he finished and shut the Bible.
Molly laid her hand on his cheek and asked, “How did that Noah man get them animals to go on the big boat?”
Jake grinned at her. “Noah had lots of help from God.”
“Oh, so God made them go on?”
He nodded. “Yep.” Jake grinned, knowing another question would soon pop out of his niece’s mouth. She’d been asking questions or talking non-stop since the moment she’d started talking.
Her little face twisted as another question worked its way through her mind. “How come the bigger animals didn’t eat the littler ones?” she finally asked as she patted the stubble on his cheek.
“Well, I believe God shut their mouths and wouldn’t let them,” Jake answered. He looked about the room at everyone. Each person nodded their agreement except Nellie.
Agnes darned a pair of socks; Ike worked on a length of rope. Leah wasn’t sure what Ike was doing, or was going to do with the rope, but his fingers worked the threads. Mr. Frontz sat with a catalog of some sort in his hands. Leah didn’t think he was really reading it but was listening to the soft conversations going on around them.
“That book isn’t real. You know that, right?” Nellie asked as she pulled at the lace on her dress.
Jake shook his head. “I believe the Bible is real, Nellie.” There was a warning tone in his voice that she simply ignored.
“Oh, really? Well, I have the same questions that Molly does. How can it be real? I mean, you expect us to believe that every animal came by twos.” She laughed bitterly.
For the first time, Leah looked beyond the hateful words, the cruel looks and the mean-spirited actions of the young woman. She saw Nellie now as a scared, confused woman. “What makes you think it isn’t real?” Leah asked in a soft tone.
“How can it be? The stories are just that, stories. There is no God.” Nellie stood up and walked to the fireplace.
Its crackles and pops were the only sound in the room for several moments.
Jake’s jaw worked. The pony express riders looked uneasily at one another.
Mr. Frontz yawned. “I believe we will be retiring now.” He stood, took Agnes’s hand and they left the room.
“’Night,” the three riders said in unison as they each picked up their belongings and headed for the front door.
Leah watched them leave. She saw the anger in Jake’s gaze as he stared at Nellie. The young woman seemed unaware of his emotions.
“Perhaps we should retire, too.” Marshall stood and held his hand out to Nellie.
Nellie continued to stare into the flames. “You go on, I’ll be up later.”
He dropped his head, and like an obedient servant, Marshall followed the Frontzs up the stairs.
“Jake? Would you tuck Molly in for me tonight?” Leah turned to face him. She wanted to talk to Nellie alone.
Molly laid her head down on Jake’s shoulder. Her thumb had worked its way into her mouth.
His gaze searched hers, then he nodded.
“Thank you.” Leah waited until they were up the stairs. She heard the bedroom doors shut behind Marshall and then Jake and Molly.
Leah moved to sit on the chair by the fireplace. From this vantage point she could see Nellie’s face. “Why do you think there is no God?” she asked.
A tear slid down Nellie’s face. “How can there be?” Misery filled her voice.
“What do you mean?” Leah wanted to understand. She felt she needed to understand the emotions that Nellie was going through.
“If there was a God, He would have spared my sister and her husband. I begged Him not to take them. But what happened? Sally died first.” She slapped her hand against her leg. “I bet you didn’t know that twins can sense things about each other, did you?”
Leah shook her head.
“I knew the moment my sister became ill. I begged God not to take her like He had our parents. I asked Him to let me arrive in time to help her.” A sob caught in her throat. “But did He?” She slapped her leg again. “No, and do you know why?” Nellie didn’t give Leah a chance to answer. “I do. It’s because He doesn’t exist.”
“You don’t believe that, Nellie. You are angry and hurting.”
Nellie spun to face Leah. Anger radiated from her very being. “How can you know what I believe or don’t believe?”
“You prayed. Nonbelievers don’t pray to a God they don’t believe in,” Leah answered in a quiet voice.
“No, I quit believing the day Sally died.” Nellie allowed the tears to fall down her chin. A sob caught in her throat, and she turned back to the fireplace. “After our parents died, Sally asked me to take Molly in should something happen to her and John.” Silence hung between them.
Leah wanted to allow Nellie the opportunity to let her past hurts work their way out of the grieving woman. She remembered being told once that it was best to listen when someone hurting is talking because it could help them heal.
Nellie sighed heavily and turned back to face Leah. “That’s why I’m here. I am going to take Molly away from Jake. I’m going to remove all this foolishness of a God who cares for her from her memories. She’s still young and can be taught differently.”
The mother bear arose in Leah. She stood to her full height and said, “I know you are hurting, Nellie and I can respect that, but rest assured, Molly is not going with you.”
Nellie laughed. “Oh, and are you going to stop me? You have no legal claim to that little girl up there. I do. You’re not even related, I am.” She pushed past Leah and walked to the foot of the stairs.
Leah said a silent prayer for help. She couldn’t, wouldn’t let Nellie have Molly. “Nellie, I’m going to prove that there is a God.”
She turned at the foot of the stairs, and a wobbly simper twitched at Nellie’s lips. “Really? How?”
Leah knew she couldn’t do anything but she had a God who could. “I’m going to pray and ask God to keep you from taking that child from her uncle. I’m also going to ask Him to help you find your way back to the God who loves you.”
Nellie shook her head. “Pray all you want, Leah. We’ll see if there is a God who loves you enough to answer your prayers. Don’t be surprised when I ride out of here tomorrow with Molly by my side.”
* * *
Jake walked down the stairs slowly. He stopped right behind Nellie. Keeping his voice much calmer than he felt, Jake said, “You aren’t taking Molly anywhere, Nellie.”
She spun around looking wild-eyed. “How dare you sneak up on me!”
When had Nellie become such a dramatic personality? He remembered her being sweet and quiet, like Sally. “I walked down the stairs, Nellie. That’s hardly sneaking up on you. Now, what makes you think I’ll let you take Molly away?”
Steely green eyes glared up at him. “You don’t have a choice. My sister asked me to take care of Molly and I intend to do just that. I’d thought about letting you and Leah keep her, but after tonight, listening to all this talk about God and reading the Bible, well, she’s better off living with me and knowing the truth. There is no God.” It sounded as if she were trying to convince herself more than him.
“Aunt Nellie?”
Jake turned to find Molly standing at the top of the stairs. Her hair was down and the light from the bedroom shone behind her, giving the little girl an angelic appearance.
“God is real.” Molly held on to the railing as she walked down the stairs.
Nellie’s voice softened as she watched Molly’s descent. “Honey, you are mistaken.”
“No, I’m not. The night Mama died. I prayed and talked to God. I know Mommy is in heaven. She’s waiting for us all to get there.” Molly took Nellie’s hand in hers. “I feel her in here.” She pressed Nellie’s hand against her heart.
Tears rolled down Nellie’s face. She hugged Molly to her and wept.
Marshall came down the stairs, brushed past Jake and hurried to his wife’s side. He gently pulled her into his arms. “Come along, dear.”
Nellie released Molly and offered her a gentle smile. “Thank you, Molly. I feel her in here, too.” She laid her hand against her own heart, then Nellie allowed her husband to lead her up the stairs.
* * *
The next morning, Jake entered the house long before anyone else was usually awake. He’d tossed and turned all night. Nellie could still insist on taking Molly and that worried him. His hand moved to the letter in his shirt pocket. If he had to, Jake would use it to keep the little girl with him. He loved Molly as much as he could love anyone and he wasn’t about to let her go.
Nellie and Marshall came out of the kitchen. She wore a deep green robe that picked up the color in her eyes. A gasp tore from her throat when she saw him. “Oh, I wasn’t expecting anyone else up this early.” Her hand went to her neck.
“Good morning, Nellie, Marshall.” He stood staring at her. She looked so much like Sally that for a moment Jake allowed himself just to stare at her.
Marshall carried the coffeepot and two cups in his hands. “I made coffee, if you’d like a cup,” he offered.
Jake took a deep breath. “I believe I will. Please, stay down here. I’d like to talk for a few minutes.” When they nodded their acceptance of his invitation, Jake pulled out a chair and sat down.
“Give me just a moment and I’ll get another cup.” Marshall set the coffeepot and the other two mugs down and then hurried back into the kitchen.
Jake tried to get control of his emotions. The last thing he wanted was bad blood between himself and Nellie. Molly needed her aunt as much as she needed him. Family was important; he just wished he’d realized it sooner and had made peace with his brother and Sally.
Nellie sat down at the end of the table when Marshall returned. Marshall poured her coffee and then gave a cup to Jake.
She cupped the coffee between her palms. “I think I know what you are going to say, Jake, and you are right.”
Her words took him by surprise. “What am I right about?” He slipped into the chair beside her.
“Marshall and I have been talking and we believe Molly should stay with you and Leah.” Nellie offered a soft smile before taking a sip from her coffee.
Jake wasn’t sure what to say. He’d been prepared to fight for the little girl. His gaze moved to Nellie’s face. Was it his imagination or had it softened during the night?
“Marshall assures me that I was wrong in so many ways.” She shook her head. “And thanks to Molly I feel differently about so many things, but change isn’t going to happen overnight. Marshall and I prayed together last night for the first time in a long time.” She reached out and took her husband’s hand. “But I think I’ll need many more prayer sessions to become the woman I want to be. I still don’t understand why God would take Sally, but I’m trying.”
Jake wasn’t sure what to say. He took a sip from his coffee and nodded, understanding Nellie’s words. Hadn’t he behaved much the same way when he’d first learned of John and Sally’s marriage? He’d wanted to blame God but with time realized John and Sally had been the ones to hurt him, not God.
Marshall patted the top of her hand. Nellie looked into her coffee. “I don’t know how this man has stood by me over the last year. I’ve been mean and rude to him so much but he still put up with me.”
“What about God? Do you still think He’s not real?” Jake had to know. If there was some way he could convince Nellie of the one true God, he wanted to do it.
She smiled. “I always knew He was real. I just didn’t want to trust Him anymore. As strange as it sounds, after Sally died, I didn’t think He loved me anymore.” Her voice caught in her throat.
“That doesn’t sound strange at all.” Jake set his cup down. “Right after Sally and John married I lost my way for a while, too. I guess it’s human nature, but I am so glad God can forgive us and keep on loving us.”
She patted his hand. “Yeah, me, too.”
He released her hand. “You are always welcome to visit Molly.”
“Thank you, Jake.”
They talked for a few more minutes and then he finished his coffee and carried the cups and coffeepot back to the kitchen. When he returned to the table, they were gone. He assumed they’d returned to their room.
His thoughts turned to Marshall as he headed out to start his morning chores. Nellie’s husband had stuck by her as she worked through the grief. He’d put up with her abusive behavior and still seemed to love her.
Nellie had gone from the bitter woman of yesterday to the sweet woman that he remembered Sally being. Spending time with Nellie reminded him of what he’d lost by trusting Sally. She’d seemed sweet and loving, but at the same time Sally had been in love with his brother. Would he ever be able to take down the wall around his own heart? Leah’s faced floated in his mind. As much as he was growing to care for her, Jake still had his doubts.