“When were you going to tell me?” Torres repeated. His words brought reality crashing down around her. In an instant, the euphoria was gone along with the closeness. She needed to get away.
Torres ran a hand through his black hair. His brows knit together. “Shit. Did I hurt you?” Self-incrimination shadowed his words. The anger returned but this time it was all pointing inward. “Beth, you should’ve told me.”
Beth pulled at her binds but the strips did not give. She did not look at him. She did not want to see the look on his face but more importantly she didn’t want him to see hers. The room was suddenly too small. The walls were inching in. She pulled again but nothing but pain. She pulled again against the searing pain. She needed to go.
“Stop, here let me.” Torres reached into his jeans pocket for his switchblade and cut her ties.
Her hands tingled then burned and blood brought sensation flooding back to her fingers.
Beth stood up, frantically reaching for her discarded clothing. Why couldn’t she breathe?
“How far along are you?”
Beth shook her head. “Torres, I’m not.”
Torres ran his hand over the gentle swell of her stomach and then up to her breasts. He squeezed, the pressure was slight but enough to make her breath hitch.
Shit, where was her underwear? She needed to get out of here. All the oxygen had been sucked from the room.
“When was your last period?”
“Shit. I can’t find my underwear. I’ll just leave them,” Beth mumbled as she pulled on her jeans.
Torres stood up and rooted around under the bed until he found her panties. “Here,” he said shoving them into his pocket. His hand encircled her wrist. “Answer me.”
Her wrists were too sensitive to try to pull away. They were covered in red welts that would probably leave bruises but nothing like the scars that covered Torres’ wrists. “I don’t know,” she answered. It was half true. She didn’t remember the exact day but she remembered it was right before he came back. She could have figured it out if she wanted to, counted back, looked at a calendar…
Torres stared at her intently. She could see him thinking, putting the pieces together. “You haven’t had your period since I came home, have you?”
“Look, I’m not pregnant. I’m just stressed, OK, that’s it. Just relax.”
Torres’ eyes narrowed. “I’m plenty relaxed, Gatita, you’re the one acting like a skittish cat.”
Beth pulled her hand away, wincing at the small movement. “It’s stress, that’s it.”
“Have you taken a test?”
Beth shook her head. “No, just drop it.”
“Why not? Why haven’t you taken a pregnancy test?”
Beth pulled her camisole over her head. She inspected her sweater. She could sew all the buttons back on but she wouldn’t. She didn’t have time to think let alone sit with a needle and thread. She balled it up and threw it in the wastebasket. She glanced at the clock. She needed to get out of here. She had missed the last flight home but she couldn’t stay here. She needed air; she needed space to think.
“Why haven’t you taken a pregnancy test?”
Beth spun on her heel. “Because I don’t want to be pregnant!” She hadn’t intended to shout but the magnitude of the situation hit her with such force she could not contain it. “I don’t want to be pregnant. OK there it is. I don’t want a baby!”
Torres smiled but it was a bitter joyless sight. “My baby,” he amended. “You don’t want my baby.” There was no mistaking the bitterness in his dark eyes.
His words hit her like a blow. “No, not because it’s yours…because I can’t. We can’t. It’s not right. I can’t do this.” Beth swung her bag over her shoulder. “I’m going back to my hotel. I’m on the first flight.”
“You can’t do what exactly, Beth? Be a mom? You’re already doing that. Alejandra isn’t even your child and you’re raising her.”
“Don’t. Don’t talk about Alejandra. That’s different, you know it.”
“Yeah. Trust me I know it. She is a daughter of a member of Los Treintas, but you took her in as your own. Is having my baby worse than that?” The anger was clear in Torres’ deep voice.
Her heart raced. She needed fresh air. “No, there is no baby. So just stop. I can’t do this now. I need to find El Escorpion. I’m almost there. Everything that I have invested…every loss…it will be for nothing if he gets away. I’m not pregnant,” she said again willing it to be true. She had taken precautions. She had been on birth control for the last fifteen years and she always used condoms, always…except with Torres. But she was on the pill…
“How long are you going to pretend?”
Beth shook her head. Her throat was tight; it burned when she tried to speak. “I have a solid lead. I am almost there. I have given everything to this case. Paige died because of him. Archila died… It will all be for nothing…” She couldn’t say any more. Everything that she had pushed down was fighting its way to the surface.
Torres wrapped his arms around her and pulled her hard against his chest. She could feel his heartbeat against her chest, calm…slow…strong. He gently kissed the top of her head. He had changed again; back to the man who had gotten her through, so gentle and caring, it was too much. She squeezed her lids together to keep from crying. She was cracking, she could feel it, and this time nothing would be able to put her back together.
“You’re going to have to face it eventually, Gatita.”
“I know,” she whispered.
He pulled back to face her. “But not tonight. You can pretend tonight.”
“Thank you, Torres.”
Torres picked her up and gently laid her on the bed. Slowly, almost reverently he took off her clothes and then pulled her against him, his arm draped protectively over her. Her body fit his perfectly.
“It’s going to be OK,” he said into her hair. “We’re going to be OK.”
She closed her eyes. There was no way to know if he was right. She had stopped hoping for a happy ending. All she wanted now was to get through.