My alarm went off far too early. Fortunately, Sawyer was already stirring, so I didn’t have to tend to a sobbing child whose waking had come on too harshly. Instead, he looked at me and said, “What we doing today, Mama?”
I groaned, sat up, and said, “Want to go watch some big equipment?”
He was out of bed and heading downstairs before I even got my feet on the floor. That child could name every piece of digging machinery out there, and heaven forbid I should call a front-end loader a bulldozer. He was not shy about correcting my terminology, not one bit.
Mika stood at the door of his room and mumbled something about dreaming she’d gone to the moon with Elon Musk. I patted her on the shoulder as I stepped past her to get the clothes I’d laid out for Sawyer the night before and followed my son downstairs.
Saw’s enthusiasm had waned just a little bit when he realized it was still dark outside, but once I got the lights in the house on and the fire going, he began his long list of questions, all of which I quelled with an upraised hand and two words: Mama’s Coffee.
He sat down on the couch with his baby doll and giant teddy bear and watched the fire. The boy was young but he understood, already, my need for caffeine.
The kettle going for the French press, I fixed Sawyer a cup of chocolate milk, his morning staple of quick calories, steeped my coffee, and sat down beside him to try and answer his barrage. “Will there be excavators?” “Can I sit on them?” “Will they be loud?” I had answers to most things, surprisingly. Satisfied, Sawyer took my phone and watched some videos while I finished the coffee and put on enough bacon for three of us.
A few minutes later, Sawyer was dressed, the cream of wheat and bacon were done, and we were all eating well, even Sawyer who wanted to eat Mika’s food instead of his own. Smart Auntie let him and then scooped up his plate to down enough calories for her own day.
A few minutes later with everyone, including the cat, fed and dressed (Beau insisted on coming, so he was wearing his harness), we piled back into my car and headed over the hills into town. I dropped Mika off early but was glad to see the patrol car parked nearby, a quick response to my “heading out” text to Santiago a few minutes prior.
Then, Sawyer, Beauregard, and I went on over to the demolition site and, hopefully, a few hours’ work to secure us money for this month’s bills. I was squeaking by, but barely, and I could really use the kind of quick cash that a couple of really stellar house beams would bring. I just hoped I wouldn’t have to chop them up into mantels to sell them. It would be a shame to cut up wood that had survived intact for hundreds of years already.
At seven sharp, all of us convened at the house, Santiago included. He was in full uniform and driving his patrol car, so there was nothing subtle about his presence. “Someone definitely followed you here, Paisley, so don’t go disappearing from the group today, okay?”
I blushed. I’d wandered off once before when I was under Santiago’s watch, and it hadn’t gone well. “I won’t. You sure you’re okay with this guy?” I said to Sawyer as I tried to look chagrined rather than giddy at the sight of this handsome man, just in case anyone was watching.
“He’s okay,” Sawyer said.
I rolled my eyes at my son, who grinned and, I was pretty sure, tried to wink at me, and then I turned back to the farmhouse and took a breath. The building must have been quite the looker in her day. Two stories with stone chimneys at either end. It was what I called a “two over two,” which may be a technical term for a house with two rooms upstairs and two rooms down, but I had no idea if anyone but me used it. Each of the four rooms had a fireplace, since that would have been the only heat at the time, and while each room also had a window, they were small to conserve heat and keep the summer sun to a minimum.
At some point, a more recent owner had put on an addition at the back with a kitchen and bathroom, but those had long ago succumbed to honeysuckle and maple seedlings. Modern construction techniques just don’t stand up like the old ways, and you could really see it in a building like this.
I could have studied the façade of the house all day, but after only a few seconds, a shrill whistle brought my attention to Saul, who was at the side of the house and looking vastly impatient. I grimaced, slipped on my hard hat, and followed him to the back of the building. “I decided we’d start here,” he said as I rushed up. He pointed to the back wall. “We can take off the roof here, and probably save some of this wood for your art projects or whatever.”
Saul appreciated architectural salvage for the big stuff – the old trees turned into buildings, especially – but if the wood had paint on it, he wasn’t interested. “Ruined a perfectly good piece of lumber,” he’d say. For the most part, I agreed with him, but there was a big market for what used to be called “shabby chic.” Dad could make a lot of picture frames from this siding, and I could use the income those would bring. Plus, who wanted all this going into the landfill anyway?
“Sounds good. Did you notice if the roof beams were still sound?”
“You mean when I was crawling around risking life and limb to assure your payday?” he asked with a wink. “I sure did. They look pretty good. Mostly the roof sheeting that’s rotted out. We’ll get you some good pieces.”
“Awesome. Let’s get going then.” I tried to sound authoritative, but I was really missing Mika’s leadership right now. I knew, though, that she needed to be running her own business today. Still, I was missing her 3D renderings as I tried to do some quick mental math to figure out what kind of money I might recoup from this job.
I wanted to give Saul’s guys something. I knew Saul wouldn’t let me really pay them, but I was hoping Saul would let me cover the fuel costs for his equipment. I mentally tabulated the value of the beams, the doorframes, the hardware, the three mantels that were still intact enough to salvage, and the second-story floorboards that were still in good shape. I was terrible with numbers, especially without paper, but I thought I might be able to clear five thousand – even with tips and fuel costs. That would cover Sawyer and me for a month or more, and that would be amazing.
Just then, a giant green piece of equipment swung its arm over my head and lifted up the corner of the roof to my left. In one swift move that I couldn’t have even managed with my own hand blown up to scale, the operator took the roof up. Then, he looked at me, and I stared at his very impressive beard. I was pretty sure it would touch his belt buckle when he stood up.
Only when Saul jerked me out of the way did I realize that the operator was waiting for me to move so that he didn’t drop the entire roof on my head. I blushed what I knew must have been a ferocious shade of crimson and decided to take up a position further away from the work.
The morning’s demolition went smoothly and landed me a bonus – the first story was actually an old log cabin that had just been clad with wood siding. Most of the logs were in great shape, so I had at least another five thousand in revenue there. Sawyer’s college fund was actually going to get a contribution this month.
We had the first row of logs off and stacked on the flatbed that Saul had, with another stroke of generosity, called up when it became clear we weren’t going to be able to fit everything in a couple of pickup trucks, and we decided to break for lunch.
Fortunately, I had managed to think ahead a little as I went to bed the night before and called a friend of a friend who owned the amazing Pie Guy food truck, and he was set up at the edge of the road when we came around the house. The men actually cheered because who doesn’t love a homemade pastry full of hot meat and cheese.
I was glad they were happy, but I also knew that these guys could probably pack away some food. So I didn’t shy away from jumping in line to get a bowl of mac and cheese for Sawyer and two pies for Santiago to pick from: chicken and mushroom and chicken coconut curry. I’d eaten every pie this guy offered, and they were all amazing. Once the crew realized how good the food was, the Pie Guy was going to sell out.
I acted nervous as I strolled over to the patrol car and offered up, with head down, my pies to Santiago. He covered up his laugh with a cough and then took one of the pies without asking any questions. I gathered Sawyer up after mumbling “thank you” and being sure the sheriff caught my wink and climbed into the hatch of my car for us to eat. It wouldn’t do for me to seem too friendly with law enforcement, I figured. They might understand how a “weak” woman like myself had to rely on free childcare, but they wouldn’t understand small talk with the enemy.
Sawyer, hungry from his cavorting in a police car, scarfed down his macaroni and half of my pie, which turned out to be the chicken and mushroom. I was glad I’d packed some goldfish and Z-bars, so I could get enough food for myself to make it through the afternoon. I was just swallowing the last of the juice box when the brown pickup I’d been seeing everywhere pulled up next t+o the sheriff’s car.
Santiago threw me a glance to let me know he understood and then proceeded to walk casually our way with trash in hand as if he needed a place to throw it away. I debated putting Sawyer right into his car seat so we could make a quick getaway, but I figured I couldn’t do that quickly enough to be worth the attention it would draw. So I settled for snuggling him close while he watched some videos. Dad was going to be here soon to take him for his ride and nap, and I couldn’t decide if I wanted him to come now or stay away so he wasn’t in danger.
I was still considering my best course of action when Saul walked over to the truck, shook the driver’s hand, and then struck up a lengthy, laughter-filled conversation with the driver. I couldn’t see the person’s face, but to me, it looked like he and Saul had known each other a long, long time. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a very, very bad one.
Sawyer remained oblivious to my tension, but the sheriff was not. Santiago was inching closer and closer to the car as he pretended to talk on the phone, and every few moments, he caught my eye and gave me a long stare as if to say, “Stay calm, Paisley. Stay calm.”
I tried to take a few deep breaths and not crane my neck too much to see if I could get a peek at the pickup driver’s face, but when none of that worked, I watched Saw’s videos with him and found the antics of tiny animated pandas were, indeed, good distraction.
Eventually, though, I couldn’t pretend any longer because Saul called my name and said, “Paisley, come meet someone.” He was still standing by the truck. My heart dropped into my ankles.
I squeezed Sawyer tight and told him that he was going into the car cave. Then, I lowered the hatch and locked the door, dropping my keys below the bumper when I saw Santiago watching. He gave me a tiny nod to show he understood, and then I walked toward the truck.
Saul looked completely like his normal, easygoing self, and I tried to focus on my longtime friend as I approached the truck that had been terrifying me for two days now. The man inside stepped out, and I was face-to-face, again, with Santa Man. Only then did I realize I’d been harboring some small hope that the truck was a look-alike and not related to this wild ride of a cult-infiltration that I’d gotten myself on.
“Paisley, meet Nicholas Sterit. He’s an old friend. Nick, this here is Ms. Paisley Sutton, the fine leader of our activities today.” Saul patted me on the shoulder with pride.
I tried to smile, but I’m pretty sure I just stared because it felt like my cover had been blown. A woman who leads a group of men in a salvage job does not try to join a cult where the women are, in every way, considered servants to the men.
“Oh, Saul, Paisley and I met just a couple of days ago up in the Hollow,” Nick said with a smile. “She and her friend Mika came by.”
A flash of something I couldn’t read flickered across Saul’s face, but then, he smiled and said, “That so, Nick? Well, you do have a mighty fine piece of beauty up there. That’s for sure.”
“Sure do. And it’s kind of you to help Paisley out like this. I see all your equipment and your crew. Mighty kind of you,” Santa Man said with approval.
Just then, I understood something very key about men who really hate women. They take pleasure in pretending to elevate us, and that’s exactly what he thought Saul was doing, pretending. He didn’t think I was running this operation because I couldn’t be. Saul had to be in charge. Again, I wished Mika were here with her work plans and sketches just to drive home the point that women could, indeed, do anything.
My next disturbing realization was that, maybe, Saul wasn’t exactly who I thought he was. How could he be friends with someone like Santa Man? Didn’t he know about the way women were treated at Mountain Green? Didn’t he care?
“Nice to see you again, Mr. Sterit,” I said quietly. This time, I wasn’t faking anything. I was feeling completely thrown off, and the “Mr. Sterit” part just came naturally after years of manners training from my parents. If someone was older than you, you called them Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss unless they told you otherwise, even if they were terrorizing you and your loved ones.
“I’ve been seeing you around, Paisley,” Nick said, “and I like what I see. You’re a good friend to Mika, and you take good care of that fine son of yours.”
My heart had started to race the second he laid out that he had, indeed, been following me, but when he brought up Sawyer, a surge of adrenaline so strong nearly had me lunging toward him across the gravel between us. There was no doubt he was putting me on notice that I was being watched and that they knew I had a little boy to keep safe.
I couldn’t think of anything but swear words to say. I just nodded and stared at my feet so that I didn’t give into the temptation to grab Santa Man’s white beard and use it to fling his head against his truck door.
Saul kicked some rocks at his feet, and the small movement got my attention and made me look up. He met my gaze and said, “Thanks for coming over to say hi. I know Sawyer’s waiting. We’ll get started again in a few minutes, shall we?”
I nodded and mumbled, “Nice to see you again,” before walking to my car. At the back, I feigned straightening my pants cuff in my work boots so that I could get my keys and take a few deep breaths before opening the door to my son, who did not need to know his mother was terrified.
Sawyer’s videos had just ended, and he was busy climbing around the car and pushing every button in sight. I grabbed for the phone on the floor and texted Santiago as quickly as I could.
Nicholas Sterit. He’s the man who’s been following me.
I know. Ran his plates. Same one that’s been by Mika’s shop and your house the past couple of days. Registered to him at an address up in the Hollow.
He threatened me.
I could see Santiago out the window of the car, and when he read that text, he started toward me.
No. It was subtle. Nothing I could report officially. I’m okay. Sawyer is okay.
You can stop this at any time, remember.
Not now. Not after that. Also, Saul knows him.
I saw that, too.
He shook his head and put his phone in his back pocket as Saul headed toward the back of my car.
“You were up at Mountain Green, huh? Thinking of taking up a more submissive life?”
Saul was smiling, but there was something hard in his eyes. I couldn’t read it, and after that long conversation he’d had with Santa Man, I didn’t know what to make of his attitude about Reverend Villay’s church. So I simply said, “It’s hard being a single mom. Sometimes it feels like it would be really nice to have a whole lot of people around to help.”
That was total truth and something I’d thought many times. But Saul didn’t need to know that I would no more take my son to that horrible place than I would tell him that it was okay to hit a woman.
“You just be sure about what you’re getting into there, Paisley. The church doesn’t take kindly to looky-loos.” Saul turned and walked away, and I couldn’t tell if I’d just been given a kind warning or another threat.
I made it through the next few hours in a daze. The logs came down, and we got not just three but all four mantels off the walls. Saul also had the guys load up a pallet of chimney stones for me and said he had a buyer for those. They were going to hire Saul and his crew to make a firepit at their old farmhouse. If it hadn’t been for the whole cult thing and the fact that one of the men I most respected might be a supporter of theirs, it would have been a good day.
When we were done, I gathered up all of Sawyer’s snack wrappers and took off my work boots before getting into the car to go and pick up Sawyer from Dad’s house. Dad had come just after we resumed work, and Sawyer had been cooked. The transition had been quick and easy, and when Sawyer had said he wanted to come back and watch the big equipment some more, I said a firm no. I just couldn’t risk having him near anyone. I’d told Dad to take him home with him and keep him in the backyard only, and Dad had raised an eyebrow but thankfully hadn’t asked any questions.
Now, I needed to explain the situation before I arrived so that I could get Sawyer into the car in time to pick Mika up when she closed the shop. I didn’t want her there after dark, even if a police officer would be nearby.
Lucille answered on the first ring and said, “Your dad said you looked worried. What’s going on?”
“I don’t have time to do more than tell you right now, okay?” My stepmother and I could talk for hours if we didn’t have demands on our time, so I needed to make it clear that my time was short.
“Okay, talk fast then.” Lucille sounded both concerned and interested.
I told her about the potential link between Rocket’s murder and Mountain Green Church. Then, I told her about Mika and me visiting the Hollow, and the other end of the line went very, very quiet.
“Go on,” she said.
“Now, we’re being watched, and Mika is staying with me. We have police officers checking on us, and we are safe. But one of the men from there came to the job site today—”
Lucille interrupted me and said, “Okay, so here’s what we’re going to do. Your dad is going to come stay with you tonight. Sawyer is going to stay with me for his first sleepover with his Baba, and we’re doing it in a hotel.”
It took me a minute to process what she’d said, but when I did, I gasped with gratitude. Her plan was perfect, and to have my dad there at my house, well, that meant so much. But there was one problem. “Won’t they get suspicious if my dad is there? Doesn’t that seem weird?”
“A bunch of men who treat women like they do will think nothing at all odd about having a father watching over his daughter. It’ll feel right and proper to them. They probably think you should have moved home after your divorce anyway.” The disdain in Lucille’s voice was palpable.
“Good point,” I said. “But I have to take Sawyer to his dad’s in the morning—”
She cut me off. “I’ll take him. Your ex will just have to understand that you are not feeling well and that I needed to do drop-off for the weekend. See you in a few.” She hung up, and I dropped the phone into my lap.
I drove the last few miles to their house in a sort of daze. I had done everything I knew to protect Sawyer, and still, I needed help to keep him safe. At my core, I felt like I was failing as a parent, but then I remembered what one of the women in a mom’s group on Facebook had said just before Sawyer was born – “It’s not a failure to ask for help. It’s a failure to not ask and still need the help.” So I gave myself a good pep talk just like I would to anyone else in my situation and reminded myself that I was doing a good job, a great job some days, and that I had people who wanted to help me.
By the time I pulled up at Dad and Lucille’s house, I was feeling a bit better about myself but still nervous about what they might say. I took a second to text Sawyer’s father and tell him I was under the weather and that Lucille would be bringing our son to him in the morning since he was staying the night there. He said, Okay. Feel better, in reply.
When I walked into the house, Sawyer plowed into my thighs and said, “Baba and I are going to a hotel with a pool!”
My eyebrows raised as I looked at his grandmother over my head. “The Omni downtown has an indoor pool, and we still have Sawyer’s swimmies here. Plus, Sawyer, I just checked,” she said as she turned to him, “and they have chicken nuggets and noodles in the restaurant. We can order them to our room after we swim and”—she paused here for dramatic effect, and Sawyer’s eyes went as wide as dinner plates—“we can eat in bed.”
Lucille knew how to create a magical adventure for my boy, and I was so grateful.
Sawyer looked back up at me and said, “Mommy, did you hear that? I get to eat noodles in bed.”
“I did hear that, Little Man. That’s going to be so much fun.” I gave my stepmother a warm smile. “Do you have all your things ready to go?” I was not about to leave the two of them here without us, and so I was relieved to see that Lucille already had a bag packed with the extra clothes and diapers we kept at their house. Sawyer’s Paw Patrol swim belt was sticking out of the top. “Thank you,” I said as Sawyer went to hug his Boppy before he left.
“You are most welcome. It’ll be an adventure for both of us.” She peeked down the hall to be sure that Saw was out of earshot. “You’re doing a good thing, Paisley. I’ve heard the stories from up there, too, and the sheriff filled your dad in when they spoke a few minutes ago.”
I felt my eyebrows go up, and I wanted to interrupt and get that bit of information fleshed out, but I didn’t. Lucille had something she needed to say, and the least I could do for all she was doing for me was to listen.
“But that little boy needs you, so don’t do anything stupid, okay?” She hugged me close. “We need you, too.”
I choked back my tears and said, “I know. And we’ve got a sound plan and lots of people watching out for us.” I stood back and looked at her as I weighed whether I wanted to ask the next question. “Um, you don’t think Saul could be mixed up in things up there, do you?”
“Our Saul?” She stared at me a minute. “I doubt it, but I’ve lived long enough to say that nothing surprises me. But I sure hope not.”
Sawyer bounced back in and said, “I ready. Mommy, you ready?”
I knelt down and pulled my son close. “Mommy can’t come, Love Bug. I have to stay home with Boppy and Auntie Mickie. But you and Baba are going to have a special night, just the two of you.” I wanted to cry, and I really wanted to lay in a bed and eat macaroni and cheese and chicken nuggets. But neither of those was an option tonight.
Sawyer looked at me with a little sadness on his face, but then Baba swept in with a big hug and the promise of monster truck videos while they ate, and he was headed for the door without even a wave. I snuck up to the front of the house to be sure I didn’t see any familiar vehicles, particularly a brown pickup, on the street. When it seemed the coast was clear, I gave the signal, and they ran to Lucille’s car and loaded up. They were out and gone in three minutes flat, and I felt a little tension seep from my shoulders. I couldn’t guarantee that they hadn’t been seen, but I thought it unlikely.
Still, when Dad came up behind me, a duffel bag over his shoulder, he said, “Santiago has someone in the next room at the Omni. They’re safe, Paisley.”
I sagged back against him and let a couple of tears fall. “Thanks, Daddy. And thanks for coming to stay with us. I’ll feel better with you there.”
“You’ll feel better? I wasn’t going to sleep a wink with you out there alone. At least now, I won’t miss out on my beauty rest.”
I smiled. “And . . . you get to sleep under spaceships.”
“Fly me to the moon,” he sang as he guided me to the door.