“I need some fresh air,” said Lisa. We were sitting on the floor in front of the nursing station, as usual.
Daisy passed by.
“Gimme a cigarette,” she said.
“Get your own, bitch,” said Lisa. Then she gave her one.
“Lousy cigarette,” said Daisy. Lisa smoked Kools.
“I need some fresh air,” Lisa repeated. She stubbed her cigarette out on the brown-and-beige-speckled rug and stood up. “Hey!” She put her head into the nursing station, in through the open half of the Dutch door. “I need some fucking fresh air.”
“Just a minute, Lisa,” said a voice from inside.
“Now!” Lisa banged on the sill that divided the top and bottom halves of the door. “This is illegal. You can’t keep a person inside a building for months. I’m going to call my lawyer.”
Lisa often threatened to call her lawyer. She had a court-appointed lawyer, about twenty-six, handsome, with almond eyes. He hadn’t been able to stop her being committed. His name was Irwin. Lisa claimed to have fucked him a few times in the lawyer-client conference room at the courthouse.
Whenever Lisa threatened to call her lawyer, the head nurse got involved.
Now she came out and leaned on the sill. “What’s up, Lisa,” she said, sounding tired.
“I want some fucking fresh air.”
“You don’t have to yell,” said the head nurse.
“How the fuck else am I going to get any attention in this place?” Lisa always called the hospital “this place.”
“I’m right in front of you now,” the head nurse said. “I’m paying attention.”
“Then you know what I want.”
“I’ll get an aide to open your window,” said the head nurse.
“Window,” said Lisa. She turned briefly to look at us. “I’m not interested in some fucking window.” She hit the sill again. The head nurse moved back a bit.
“It’s window or nothing, Lisa,” she said.
“Window or nothing,” said Lisa in a singsong. She took a few steps down the hall, so that all of us, including the head nurse, could see her.
“I’d just like to see how you’d manage this place, never going outside, never even breathing fresh air, never being able to open your own fucking window, with a bunch of sissy cunts telling you what to do. Valerie, time for lunch, Valerie, you don’t have to yell, Valerie, time for your sleeping meds, Valerie, stop acting out. You know? I mean, how the fuck would you manage, hunh?”
The head nurse’s name was Valerie.
“I mean, you wouldn’t last ten minutes in this place.”
“Fucking bitch,” said Daisy.
“Who asked you?” Lisa pointed at Daisy.
“Gimme a cigarette,” said Daisy.
“Get your own,” said Lisa. She turned to the head nurse. “I’m going to call my lawyer.”
“Okay,” said the head nurse. She was pretty smart.
“You think I’ve got no rights? Is that what you think?”
“Should I put the call through?”
Lisa waved her arm dismissively. “Nah,” she said. “Nah, open the window.”
“Judy,” said the head nurse. This was a young blond aide we enjoyed tormenting.
“Valerie!” yelled Lisa. She called the head nurse Valerie only when she was upset. “Valerie, I want you to open my window.”
“I’m busy, Lisa.”
“I’ll call my lawyer.”
“Judy can do it.”
“I don’t want that fucking sissy cunt in my room.”
“Oh, you’re such a bore,” said the head nurse. She pressed the security buzzer that unlocked the bottom of the door and came out into the hall with us.
Lisa smiled.
To open a window, a staff person had to unlock the security screen, which was a thick impregnable mesh on a steel frame, then lift the heavy unbreakable-glass-paned window, then shut and relock the security screen. This took about three minutes, and it was hard work. It was the sort of thing aides did. When the window was open, air might make its way through the mesh of the security screen, if it was a breezy day.
The head nurse returned from Lisa’s room, a little pink from exertion. “Okay,” she said. She rapped on the nursing-station door to be buzzed back in.
Lisa lit another cigarette.
“Your window’s open,” said the head nurse.
“I’m aware of that,” said Lisa.
“You aren’t even going in there, are you?” The head nurse sighed.
“Hey, man,” said Lisa, “it passes the time,” She touched the hot end of her cigarette to her arm for a second. “I mean, that took up twenty minutes, maybe half an hour.”
The buzzer sounded, the head nurse opened the door, went inside, and leaned on the sill again.
“Yes, it does pass the time,” she said.
“Gimme a cigarette,” said Daisy.
“Get your own, bitch,” said Lisa. Then she gave her one.