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“Glad you made it,” Church greeted, placing his big paw on Heff’s shoulder.
Heff grunted. He didn’t want to be there. He’d been perfectly content in his cabin, making use of the newly installed Wi-Fi to stream shows on topics he didn’t give a shit about in between walks around the perimeter.
Things had been quiet since the incident several weeks back, but none of them believed the situation had magically resolved itself. There was still a lot of bad blood swirling just beneath the surface even if Freed and his cronies were playing nice for the time being.
Besides, he liked those solitary walks in the woods. It gave him time to think. To reflect. To figure out what he was going to do when the Sanctuary and Happy Trails were fully operational and he was no longer needed.
For now though, his immediate plan was to make an appearance at the party, play happy for a little while, and then return to his solitude with a six-pack and a plate of food.
Resigned to slap a smile on his face and do his part, he scanned the room. Mad Dog was hanging around the buffet table—no surprise there. Cage and Doc were talking to the new guys. Brian and Smoke were hovering over by the tree, talking but also casting glances toward the table where Tori and Sam were talking to Sandy.
He blinked twice, just to be sure he wasn’t seeing things. Yes, it really was Sandy sitting there with Sam and Tori. He now understood that Sam’s text to get his butt over to the party before they came and got him wasn’t just about getting him out of his cabin.
As if she sensed his gaze, Sam looked over and smiled triumphantly before returning her attention to the conversation.
His breath caught. Sandy’s head was slightly bowed, the lights shining on her glossy hair as it fell in a cascade of loose waves over the side of her face. She tucked her hair behind her ear in that tell she had—the same gesture she made whenever she was feeling just a little unsure—and smiled at something one of them had said to her.
She was every bit as beautiful as she’d been the last time he saw her, if not more so. And just like last time, he felt it deep in his chest.
“Why don’t you go talk to her?” Church suggested.
He wanted to. He wanted to do that and so much more. The thing was, he wasn’t sure it was such a good idea. She’d made her choice, first by leaving and then by three months of nothing. No calls, no texts. Nothing. He also knew from Tori that she’d been in town in October and made zero effort to contact him.
It was a clear message that she didn’t want to see, talk, or communicate with him and one he had to respect.
“Yeah, maybe I will. Later.”
Church chuckled. “You should tell her, you know.”
“Tell her what?”
“That you’re in love with her.”
Heff pulled his gaze away from Sandy and looked back to his old friend. “You used to be able to hold your liquor better, old man.”
“And you aren’t half as good at hiding the truth as you think you are.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Church exhaled slowly, a clear sign he was summoning his patience. “There are only two reasons why you’d let her go in the first place,” Church pressed, holding up his fingers. “One, because you don’t care enough, or two, because you care too much. I see the way you look at her, man. It sure as hell isn’t the first one.”
Heff didn’t bother denying it. He’d accepted the truth a long time ago, though he’d thought he’d done a better job of hiding it. He did love Sandy, which was why he wanted her to be happy. Why he’d had to let her go.
“She’s finally getting a chance to live her dream, man. I’m not going to do anything to change that. It’s what she wants.”
“Are you sure about that?” Church asked.
Given the fact that she was in New York, working for some big-shot firm, while he stayed back in Sumneyville, trying to convince himself he was doing the right thing ... yeah, he was pretty sure.
“Yeah. Why?”
Church smirked. “Because I overheard Sam and Tori scheming to get her here tonight, saying that she’s just as miserable as you are.”
“Eavesdropping now?”
Church shrugged. “Sometimes, you have to listen to the chatter to get the inside intel.”
Heff snorted.
“Plus, she hasn’t stopped looking for you since she got here.”
Heff tried to ignore the spark of hope Church’s words ignited. Maybe she just wanted to say hi. Or maybe she was looking for another hook-up while she was in town. That did seem to be the only thing she was interested in.
The thing was, if that was what she wanted, he’d give it to her. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to let her walk away again afterward though—at least, not without telling her how he felt.
“Aren’t you the one who told me to stay away from her?” Heff reminded him.
“That was before you started moping around like a lovesick puppy.”
“You do remember that I’m a sniper, right? I can take you out anytime. You’d never see it coming.”
Church grinned. “You could, but you won’t. All I’m saying is, you’ve changed since you met her. Maybe you shouldn’t be so willing to walk away from that. Just think about it, okay?”
Heff nodded, and Church moved over to talk to someone else. Church meant well, but it wasn’t that simple. Sandy was special, but the timing sucked. If he did anything to interfere with her plans, it would come back to bite him in the ass. Eventually, she’d wind up resenting him and the loss of her dream.
No, the ball was in her court, and she had full and total control. His role was to sit quietly on the sidelines and let her play the game. If she chose Team Hugh, then he would be all in. If not, well then, he’d have to deal with it.
When he looked back to the table again, Sandy wasn’t sitting there.
He scanned the room and came up empty, hating the heaviness that returned with a vengeance and settled in his chest at the first thought that came into his head. She ghosted without even saying hello.
Maybe it was for the best.
Suddenly, the room felt suffocating, the bright lights and Christmas music grating on his nerves. With a heavy sigh, he turned around to go back outside ... and looked down into a pair of big brown eyes. Her scent, clean and fresh, wrapped around him, instantly transporting his thoughts back to her warm, naked body tucked tightly against his. Just that quickly, a calmness settled over him at the same time blood sang through his veins.
“Trying to escape without saying hi?” she asked, echoing his most recent thoughts.
“No, nothing like that.” Yes, it was exactly like that. “Just going for some fresh air.”
She looked doubtfully at the jacket he had yet to remove. “I was just thinking I could use some fresh air. Mind if I join you?”
Yes. No. Maybe. What he ended up saying was, “Not at all.”
He opened the door and gestured for her to go out ahead of him. The night air was cold, but it felt good. He shoved his hands down into his pockets to keep from touching her.
He looked out over the expanse of lawn, now covered in a blanket of white. High above, clouds skittered across the sky. Moonlight shone down in the breaks, changing the hues from soft gray to glowing silver.
She stood beside him, her breath forming visible puffs in the frigid stillness. “I missed this.”
Unsure of exactly what she had missed and afraid to ask, he asked instead, “So ... how have you been?”
“Do you want the truth or what I’ve been telling everyone else?”
He looked down at her. She, too, was looking out at the snow. Unlike when she’d been talking with Tori and Sam, her expression was pensive. There was a weariness to her eyes, one that suggested that maybe Church was right, and things weren’t going as well as she wanted people to believe.
“The truth. Always.”
“It isn’t what I thought it would be,” she said quietly.
Heff once again pushed back the spark of hope. “How so?”
She smiled. “Buy me a cup of coffee, and I’ll tell you.”
“I’ve got a better idea. How about we raid Sam’s private stash and go someplace where we can talk in private?”
“You’re on.”
He took off his jacket and handed it to her. “Here, put this on. I’ll be right back.”
She wrapped herself in his jacket, closing her eyes as she nuzzled her face into it. He tried not to think about that as he made his way through the ballroom and into the kitchen.
He was searching the pantry when Sam said, “Looking for this?”
He turned to find her holding out a bag of her special coffee blend. She refused to tell anyone what was in it and guarded it like a national secret.
“We’re just going to talk. Over coffee,” he told her.
She smirked. “Sure you are. Because it’s the conversations you miss most about having her around.”
He took the bag she held out to him. “Thanks, Sam. You’re the best.”
“Hey, Heff?” she called as he was on his way out the door.
“Yeah?”
“I’m rooting for you.”
“Thanks.”
He hurried back to the deck, relieved when he found Sandy exactly where he’d left her. Admittedly, he’d been afraid she might have changed her mind. The possibility had crossed his mind too.
“Got it,” he said, waving the bag. “Ready?”