Grace couldn’t help checking her phone constantly. There was still no news. She supposed that was a good thing. Today had been the longest day and it was still only nine-thirty. She stole a glance at Dirk who was driving her car along Jessie’s avenue; only for him she’d have been lost. He had been so good with Sam, keeping him occupied all day. She leaned across and put her hand on his knee. “Thanks,” she said. He smiled and glanced in the rear-view mirror.
“He’s out for the count.”
She turned to see little Sam fast asleep on his booster seat. Her phone bleeped. “It’s a text from Geoff. He’s asked me to stay the night so that he can stay as long as possible with Jess. If you’d prefer to head home, I don’t mind.”
“Of course I’ll stay,” said Dirk, patting her knee. “Don’t worry, darling. Everything will be all right. He’s a great kid, I’m glad he ate the chips on the promenade. At least he won’t wake up hungry. What about you? You haven’t eaten all day …”
“I’m grand,” she said, getting out of the car as it drew up outside the cottage. Food was the furthest thing from her mind. She was way too anxious to eat.
“Hey, little man,” said Dirk, picking up Sam and carrying him inside. He followed Grace to Sam’s bedroom where she took off his crocs and shorts. Leaving his tee-shirt on, she tucked the duvet up and kissed him on the forehead. She then crept quietly out leaving the door ajar.
Dirk had gone down to the sitting room and was already watching golf. “Cup of tea or coffee?” she asked, unable to sit still.
“Coffee. Thanks.”
She filled the kettle and waited as it boiled. What a day it had been and it wasn’t nearly over.
“Honey, maybe you should go home. I’ll be fine, I promise,” said Jessie.
Geoff was sitting beside her bed. “I rang Grace while you were dozing. They brought Sam to the promenade for chips and they’re going to stay over.”
“She’s the best. Honey I’m fine now. Go home and get some sleep, you’re wrecked.”
Geoff shifted in his seat. She knew he was anxious although he was trying his best not to show it. “I’ll stay another while …”
At midnight, Grace heard Geoff’s jeep drive into the yard. She rushed to the kitchen and when she saw his ashen face she had to do everything in her power not to crumble. Instead she went to the kettle to boil it. Why did she always boil the kettle in a crisis, she wondered? She placed two mugs on the butcher-block table and took milk from the fridge. Geoff sat down despairingly. Years of friendship allowed the companionable silence.
“Well,” she said, pouring tea into his mug.
“The doctor said it’s a waiting game. We didn’t tell anyone, Grace, but we’ve known since the twenty-week scan that there was a problem.”
“Oh my God, why didn’t you?”
“Because talking about it would make it real, and we couldn’t give up. The doctor gave us a one per cent chance and we took it.”
Grace nodded, completely understanding. The last thing anyone in that circumstance would need was an opinion or pity.
“But what I’m most concerned with now is Jessie. She is so bloated her lungs are under pressure making her breathing shallow. It’s very worrying and I know she is unaware of the impact it’s having on her body. She is just so focused on the babies. She keeps saying as long as they are in her womb they are safe.”
“Jesus, Geoff, did you get to speak with a doctor?”
“Yes, he’s been excellent. Very supportive but because she’s twenty-four weeks, the babies’ lungs aren’t formed enough to survive. If she can hold on or another week they’d having a fighting chance … but … Jesus …” He put his head down and buried his face in his hands. Thankfully, she thought, Dirk had had the good sense to stay in the living room.
“I’ll just go up to check on Sam. Thanks for everything, Grace,” he said, getting up wearily.
Grace lay in Jessie’s spare bedroom, tossing and turning. She could hear Geoff walking around downstairs. The poor man mustn’t be able to sleep, she thought. She couldn’t imagine what Geoff must be feeling. What if anything happened to Jessie? She tossed and turned so much, Dirk reached out. “Darling, come here,” he said, pulling her close to him. They lay in spoons. She used to laugh when she saw people do that on TV, thinking it was the most uncomfortable position, ever but tonight it was comforting. Eventually she slept.
No matter which way Jessie turned she couldn’t get comfortable. One nurse had even brought in a lava lamp and another had given her lavender for her pillow. Their kindness was incredible. Pain shot through her body. Sam had been overdue and she had had a Caesarean section so she’d never experienced labour pain. The nurses kept calling it pressure pain and God it was excruciating. She told herself that everything would be fine when daylight came.
She turned on the television in an attempt to distract herself. That didn’t work. She tried to read to no avail.
She was crying with the pain when at four a.m. the nurse brought in a Tens machine to help relieve it. She eventually managed to sleep and woke two hours later feeling a little less anxious. Daylight, thank God, she thought. Geoff would be back soon. She had made him promise not to tell their parents she was in hospital unless he had to. She didn’t want to worry them. “Oh please God help me.”
Jack was on the road at seven. He hadn’t slept well and was blaming it on too much coffee but the truth was he couldn’t stop thinking about Grace. He had been pleased she’d been concerned about him diving off the storm wall. The weather had been so hot yesterday when Conor rang to say he was going to the beach. It had been a no-brainer. Garvan, his nephew and his pals were also there jumping and diving off the pier. And then Conor had dared him to dive off the storm wall backwards like they used to do. Never one to back down he had won twenty quid for his trouble.
The last person he had expected to see in a kayak was Grace. He couldn’t stop smiling at the get-up of her as she had tried to manoeuvre away, she had been hilarious. And when she had tripped walking up the cliff steps he had had to stop himself from running up to help her. God he wished she wasn’t engaged, and when he saw how happy she was frolicking about in the sea with the little boy and Dirk, the Adonis, it had been a blow.
Jessie touched her tummy – it was rock hard. She was finding it increasingly hard to breathe but was glad that the awful pain was gone. She needed to use the loo, so she managed to wriggle her way out of bed and waddle slowly the few paces to the bathroom. Everything was going to be all right, she thought. No pain had to be a good thing. She sat on the toilet and began to wee when the most awful thing happened. Something appeared between her legs. She touched it and screamed. It was a tiny limb. She reached for the bell and kept pulling but nobody came. She struggled to open the bathroom door but the bedroom door was closed too. Lying on the floor she began to howl.
Minutes later a nurse came, and within seconds the room was in chaos with nurses trying to get her from the bathroom floor onto a trolley. The ward sister arrived. She was a big strong woman who wrapped her arms under Jessie’s armpits. Three other nurses picked up the rest of her and managed somehow to get her onto the trolley. They rushed her to the labour ward. “Ring Geoff, please somebody, I need him,” she cried.
Their first baby boy was born at 8.23am. He took a gasp and then left the world as the tears streamed down Jessie’s face. He was perfect with all his little fingers and toes and he had the most beautiful little face.
Twenty minutes later Geoff burst into the labour ward. He must have broken every speed limit in the county. What could he say or do? He just held her in his arms and cried with her.
“Can we call him Anthony – after my granddad?” she asked through her tears. Geoff could only nod through his.
Forty minutes later it happened again. Anthony’s brother took a gasp and left just as Anthony had.
The nurse handed Geoff the baby and holding him in his arms he said with eyes filled with tears, “I’d like to call him Geoff.” It was her turn to nod.
She kept hoping it wasn’t real and that she’d wake up and everything would be the same as before. She’d still have her babies. Oh God, why?
Grace made breakfast and tried to act normal. She was so grateful to Dirk. He kept chatting to Sam as they munched their cornflakes. She was on tenterhooks waiting for the phone call she knew would come. It had happened and she had no idea what to do or say. She needed air.
“I’m just going to see if Monique has arrived yet.”
Dirk looked up with eyes full of concern. “Okay, darling. Sam has challenged me to a game of soccer on the console, and I told him he’s going to lose.”
“No way!” said Sam, grinning from ear to ear. She smiled and went out the back door. Monique was mucking out Jasper’s stable. Grace thought how very grateful Jessie had been to have her and Kate to help. Monique looked up and brushed a strand of chestnut hair that had fallen from her usual ponytail.
“I can’t believe this is happening. Why Grace, it’s so unfair? Jessie is like a mother to me. I don’t know what would have become of me if she had not pleaded with me to come up here.”
“We will have to be strong for her. I heard Geoff speeding down the drive about an hour ago. I’m so afraid to ring him. It can’t be good. Come here,” said Grace, wrapping her arms around the young French girl who was sobbing inconsolably.
“I’m so sorry Grace. I will get myself together for Sam. I do not want him to see me crying. Un moment!”
Poor Monique, she had only turned thirteen when her parents had been killed in a car crash in Paris. Having no other relatives she had come to Ireland to live with her grandmother, Nora. Filled with grief, Monique had refused to come out of her bedroom until Jessie had coaxed her to visit the stables. And since that day Monique had fallen in love with horses. Grace kept thinking of all the people Jessie had helped over the years including Kate, her sister. Why, God, she thought, why when she is such a natural mother?
“Let’s go back to the house,” said Grace.
“I’ll be in soon. I need to finish cleaning this stable.”
“Thanks, Monique, for all your help. I know Jess is very grateful.”
“Jess.”
“Yes.”
“I think we got the names wrong. Look,” said Geoff, pointing to Anthony.
“He’s so like you.” She smiled through her tears. “And look.” She pointed at baby Geoff’s fingers. “They are just like my granddad’s.”
“What are we like?” Geoff smiled but his heartbreak was laid bare to her.
“Come here,” she said. Geoff bent over her and laid his tear-stained cheek next to hers. “I’m sorry, honey. So, so sorry.” She ran her hand through his hair and felt him shaking.
He gathered himself and pulled away. He wiped his tears with the back of his hand and said, “I’ll go and make the phone calls, Jess. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
Lying on the bed, she watched as her strong, manly husband walked forlornly out of the labour ward. How would they ever get over this? What were they going to tell Sam? The babies he had told everybody about were … she couldn’t say the word. When the door was firmly closed she finally broke down. She cried and the pain wracked her body, every sob physically hurt her but that didn’t matter. The midwife who had left to give them some privacy came rushing back. She simply held Jessie in her arms and let her cry.
“I’m sorry. I’ll get it together,” said Jessie, wiping her tears with her hands. The midwife nodded but stayed sitting on the side of the bed. Then she stretched over and picked up a box of tissues and said, “It’s going to be hard but as long as you have one another, that’s what counts. Keep talking to one another.” Jessie was so grateful for the woman’s kindness.
Grace arrived at the hospital. She managed to get into the labour ward. Jessie was behind the curtains in a cubicle being washed down by the nurses.
“And who are you?” asked the sister on duty in a not very pleasant tone.
“I’m Grace McGrath, Jessie McGrath’s sister. I’m sorry to be any bother but I need to see her.”
Jessie guffawed. “Gracey, don’t attempt to come in here. I’m not a show it all kind of girl. I haven’t a stitch on.”
Everyone laughed, the sister included. When the curtain was finally drawn back Grace was shocked to silence at the sight of Jessie. It was like somebody had turned off the lights inside her friend. The sparkle that was Jessie had disappeared. Thankfully, the nurse spoke. “Come on, you might as well make yourself useful now that you’re here. You can help wheel your sister back to the ward.”
“You’d get in anywhere, you know,” Jessie whispered, giving her a watery smile.
“Always could,” replied Grace, leaning down and kissing her best friend on her forehead. She whispered, “I love you, sis.”
Jessie’s eyes filled up and the tears trickled down the sides of her face into her ears. “I know you do but thanks for saying it. And you big eejit – how can you be my sister by calling yourself McGrath!” she mumbled.
“Oh yeah, feck it, but it worked, didn’t it!” Grace gathered herself and with tears still in her eyes she pushed the bed along the corridor.
A few hours later a nurse called Mary spoke to Jessie about how to approach telling Sam. “Include him. He’s nearly six years old. Let him see the babies. It’s only my advice, of course. Talk about it together, it might not be what you feel comfortable with.”
Later that evening Geoff brought Sam to the hospital where he was the first person to see his baby brothers. Jessie told him that they were asleep and would be going up to Holy God in Heaven who’d look after them and then they would become little angels.
“Can I hold my baby brothers?” asked Sam unexpectedly.
Geoff looked at her in amazement. All Jessie could do was to nod her head.
“Of course you can, son,” said Geoff, walking over to the cot where their two baby sons lay together. He picked up baby Anthony and placed him in Sam’s arms.
As he did this the hospital room door opened and both Jessie’s and Geoff’s parents came in – all their faces were grief-stricken. Sam turned towards them and said in a matter of fact voice that only a child could have under the circumstances, “Do you want to hold my baby brothers?” And Jessie thought there were reasons for everything because she’d never have suggested that.
Later that night after all the visitors had left and Geoff had taken Sam home, Mary, the nurse, offered to leave the babies in the room with Jessie overnight. It would be the only night she’d ever spend with them. She cried as she held a baby in each arm – her tears dropped on their little white baby-grows making big wet blobs. The realisation that they would never grow up, never run and play and fight with their big brother broke her.
The picture Sam had drawn earlier lay on the bedside locker. It had a man and a woman, a small boy and a baby in each of the adults’ arms and he had even included Buzz, their dog. Sam had asked could he put it in the coffin with them to remind them that they had a big brother. He had said he didn’t want them to forget him. She had tried so hard earlier not to cry when he said that because he was so earnest but now the tears just wouldn’t stop. And when Geoff had brought him for a walk earlier Sam had asked Geoff to buy them a cuddle toy each. He had decided that they wouldn’t want the same ones “coz then they’d get them mixed up in heaven.” Geoff had whispered to her, “I’m sorry but these are all his ideas.”
Cradling her perfect babies in her arms she couldn’t understand why. How could God do this? It didn’t make any sense. Why give her two babies and then take them away?
On Tuesday morning just as Kate arrived at Grace’s house the front door opened.
“Morning Kate, you’re out and about early for a Monday morning,” said Dirk, getting into his Audi.
“Yeah you’re right Dirk, I’m not usually out and about so early. So this is what it’s like in the real world?” she replied, with an underlying tone in her voice.
“Got to keep her in the style she’s used to now,” he laughed as he placed his briefcase on the front seat of his car.
“Ass,” she muttered under her breath, continuing in the front door. “Grace, is the kettle boiled?” she called. “I badly need a coffee. How is she?” Kate asked.
“The funeral is tomorrow. I’m dreading it so I can’t imagine how she feels. Kate, they are so beautiful. Can’t you go and see her? She’d love to see you.”
“I can’t Grace, I … I wouldn’t be any good for her and what if she asked me to see them. I wouldn’t be able for it.”
“I know it’s hard, but it’s important to Jessie and Geoff that people know that they were babies, perfectly formed. They called them Anthony and Geoff.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“You mean so much to Jessie, Kate.”
“Grace, I said I’ll think about it okay?”
“Just don’t take too long,” muttered Grace, trying to accept that people were different and everyone had their own way of dealing with things. She changed the subject. “Remember the lady I met on the flight to New York in June.”
“Yeah,” said Kate, absently taking a sip from her coffee cup.
“Well she’s in Ireland and wants to meet. She mentioned something about staying around here for a while.”
“Did you reply?”
“I enjoyed chatting with her and everything but …”
“But what …”
“But I’d feel awkward.”
“Ah lighten up Grace, from what you said she sounded like a lovely lady. Doesn’t your curiosity get to you? Wouldn’t you love to know more about her?”
“I suppose. The card she gave me was a personal one with only her name and mobile number on it.”
“Well if your curiosity doesn’t get to you, mine does. So do me a favour. Meet her!”
“You’re a gas woman, Kate Fitzgerald.”
“No, I was just born nosy. I’ll go up to the office and start filing. Where’s Eoghan?”
“He’s meeting the tour guides to brief them on Saturday’s itineraries. I’ll clean up here and I’ll be up to you in a few minutes.”
Grace felt guilty for pressuring Kate to go to see Jessie. And the truth was she really could do without a visit from Sophia at the moment. There was just so much going on. She wiped down the counter and went upstairs to the office. Kate was on the phone.
“Yeah, I’ll be there at about seven after I finish here.” Kate paused, hanging the phone between her ear and shoulder as she stretched across the desk looking for a file. “Okay so, see you there.” She hung up. “That was Monique. She needs a hand at the yard. It’s so unfair Grace. First a miscarriage and now this. What did Jess and Geoff do to deserve this? I don’t get it.”
“Look, I’m sorry about earlier, putting you under pressure to go to the hospital …”
“It’s not that I don’t want to. But Jessie is the person I go to for a laugh. She’s the one who helped me through my problems. God knows where I’d be if she hadn’t immersed me in horses.”
“It’s hard to see her so down. But Kate, we need to stay positive and be here for her, okay,” said Grace, getting up from the desk to give her sister, who had tears flowing down her cheeks, a hug.
“It’s time,” said Geoff, gently. Jessie looked at the white coffin her babies had been placed in together. Beside it lay another coffin with a baby in it. It was more common than she had imagined. In the five days she had spent in the hospital she had heard so many sad stories.
She remembered the joy and happiness they had experienced the day Sam was born, the flowers, the cards, the balloons, the teddies and the feelings of pure love that no words can ever explain. And yet somebody else would have been going through this. She stood up and put a letter she had written to her babies into the coffin. Then Geoff put in a set of child’s rosary beads his mother had given him.
“Mammy, we have to fit these in,” said Sam, picking up the cuddly toys he had chosen for his brothers. It was too much; she began to cry, great big sobs. How could she allow the coffin to be closed, her babies would be gone forever. It was so final.
“I’m sorry, Mammy, I didn’t mean to make you cry.” She took her little boy into her arms and held him tight. “You didn’t honey. I’m just so sad.”
Geoff took over placing the furry animals gently on either side of the babies. “Sam, will we put in your picture?” he asked.
Sam just nodded and taking it from his dad he placed it carefully on top. “Bye brothers,” he said.
“I think we’ll go outside and leave your mammy and daddy for a while, okay?” Jessie’s mother said, leading the little boy to the door. Geoff passed a grateful look to his mother-in-law as all the grandparents left, leaving Jessie and Geoff alone in silence. She felt numb. Geoff leaned down and kissed his babies for the last time. He put out his hand to help her up to do the same. She touched each tiny face with her fingers as if imprinting them to her memory, and bending, she brushed her lips to each little cold face and whispered, “Goodbye.” Just as Geoff closed the lid a huge indescribable sound came from somewhere deep within her. Her whole body shook but Geoff wrapped his strong arms around her to quell her and they stayed like that for what seemed an age. Then he turned and picked up the white coffin and carried it as he had been told he must, down the stairs and out the hospital emergency doors.
Geoff’s father was double-parked outside waiting for them. Sam travelled with her parents while she and Geoff sat in the back seat of Geoff’s dad’s car with a white coffin across their laps. It was surreal. A part of her wanted the drive to last forever. Although it was August, it began to rain, then it poured, and by the time they got to the church it was torrential. Both of their families were gathered there, along with their closest friends. After the small service they walked through the torrential rain to the graveside where Jessie felt her legs give way as Geoff placed the little white coffin into the rain-sodden hole in the ground. Grace caught her on one side and her mother linked her on the other side. “Why … why, it’s not fair,” she whispered as Sam threw two red roses onto the little white coffin.
“Come away, Jessie,” her mother said, gently guiding her away. Grace tried desperately to hold an umbrella over them as a cold north-easterly wind blew.
“Oh Mammy, what am I going to do?”
Aoife, the vet’s receptionist, had asked Jack to call to the McGraths’ place because a pony had cut its leg. When he got out of the jeep he was surprised to be met by an elderly man he’d never seen before.
“I’m Tom Phelan, a neighbour farmer of Geoff’s. Jaysus, it’s tough news! Look I’ll bring you to the young horse and let you at it. I’ll crack on with the feeding okay.”
“Sorry, but what’s tough news?” asked Jack, lost. What was going on? “Ah you mustn’t’ve heard.
Ah well, poor Jessie lost the little ’uns. They’re at the funeral. Jaysus boy, it’d break your heart. ’Twas twin boys. Ah sure.” He was walking away clearly upset. So Jack didn’t ask any more questions. Geoff had been so proud when he had told him Jessie was having twins. They must be heartbroken.
“Hey girl,” he said to the chestnut filly, taking a polo mint from his pocket. “Let’s take a look at that leg of yours.” But he couldn’t stop thinking of the McGraths.
Grace wasn’t feeling well. The last thing she needed was a social evening. But Sophia had arrived in Bayrush and had checked in to The Meadows.
Grace parked and tottered across the drive in her high heels. Bloody pea gravel, she thought. It looked lovely but it was a hell to walk on, her high heels would be ruined. Wearing a sky blue linen dress, she wondered was she a tad overdressed. She felt strangely nervous. They had exchanged emails and it had been easy to talk to Sophia on the aeroplane but that was because Grace had never expected to meet her again.
Sophia was sitting in the bay window of the lobby. The moment Grace walked in she stood up to greet her. “Hi there, I’ve been so looking forward to this,” said Sophia, kissing her continental style.
Grace relaxed immediately; maybe being with Sophia was exactly what she needed after all.
“It’s great to see you again, Sophia. I never imagined we’d meet again especially so soon.”
“We used to visit at least once a year,” said Sophia, wistfully sitting back down. The sadness Grace had noticed on the aeroplane was still there. Grace wondered who “we” was but didn’t dare to pry. Sophia continued. “Shall we order some drinks here or would you like to eat? We have so much to talk about. This place is so pretty and thank you so much for the room upgrade. It was very thoughtful of you.”
“You’re welcome, it was Dirk’s doing,” Grace smiled. “Let’s have a drink. I’ll go and get some menus. What will you have?”
“A gin and tonic, thanks.” Fiona, the receptionist overheard her, and said. “I’ll get it. What would you like to drink, Grace?”
“Just a sparkling water for me, thanks a mill, Fiona.”
“Wow, that’s what I call service,” remarked Sophia, smiling at Fiona.
“Anything for the boss’s future wife,” joked Fiona, heading towards the bar.
Grace laughed but blushed too. “Anyway tell me how has your trip been so far?”
Sophia began to talk about her stay in Cashel.
“So far so good then. Are there any places in particular you’d like to visit while you’re here?”
“Kilkenny Castle and Lismore Castle.” Sophia laughed. “I’m an American, I have a fascination for castles. And, of course, the House of Waterford Crystal, I’d like to see how they create those magnificent trophy pieces.”
“Consider it done. Now let’s take a look at the menu before my tummy thinks my throat is cut.”
“You have the most unusual turn of phrase here. Does anybody ever say what they mean?”
“No, that’s why we leave a trail of confusion,” laughed Grace, choosing salad to start and chicken for the main. She dearly hoped her tummy would settle.
“So, you’ve set a date?” said Sophia. “I’m looking forward to meeting your fiancé.”
“Yes, he’s hoping to join us after dinner.”
“Wonderful. It’s a busy place,” remarked Sophia just as a crowd arrived into the lobby. The noise level had risen significantly.
“Yes, the races must be just over and it’s the nearest hotel to the …” Grace could feel the colour rising in her cheeks. Jack Leslie was in the middle of the group and he was heading in her direction just as someone stopped him.
“Are you … okay, Grace?” asked Sophia, following Grace’s gaze.
“Yes, yes … em.”
“Hi Grace, it seems we keep meeting in the most unlikely places.”
“Hello again, Jack.” She could feel Sophia watching her. “This is my friend, Sophia.”
“Hi Sophia, it’s nice to meet you,” said Jack, shaking Sophia’s hand.
“Very nice to meet you too, Jack.”
“You’re American. What part of the States are you from?”
“New York.”
“I love New York …” said Jack, launching into a full-scale chat with Sophia. Relieved that he wasn’t directing any conversation towards her, Grace began twiddling with her earring. The bloody thing fell out. She was feeling around the floor for it when he turned towards her again.
“Lose something Grace?” He raised his eyebrows.
“Eh, no …” she said, putting her hand up to her other ear to hide it. Why did she turn into a nervous wreck when he was around? I’m so over you, she thought.
“You sure?” he said, bending down to pick up the earring. As he handed it to her, their fingers barely touched but it was like an electric shock. She pulled her hand away quickly. She could see by the look in his eyes that he had noticed too. He was still squatting beside her seat when he almost whispered, “You look fabulous.” Standing back up he added. “Sophia, last time Grace and I met she was wearing a wet suit and paddling like a mad thing to …”
“Quit while you’re ahead Jack,” she said, smirking at him. “At least I don’t still think I’m a teenager back-flipping from storm walls.” He threw his head back and laughed.
“Did you guys grow up together?” asked Sophia.
“Well I wouldn’t quite say that … but well … we do go back …” He was looking at her as though it was just the two of them in the room.
“Jack is married,” she cut across him but couldn’t take her eyes away from his. It actually sounded like an accusation even to her.
“There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you. I thought you’d be in the restaurant by now …” said Dirk. He stood behind her chair and put his hands on her shoulders. “This place is crazy busy all of the sudden.”
“Hi honey,” said Grace turning towards Dirk. “Sophia, this is Dirk, my fiancé.”
“It’s so nice to meet you finally. Grace has told me so much about you.” Dirk looked at Jack quizzically.
“Bye Grace, it was nice to meet you, Sophia.” He nodded at Dirk and turned to re-join his friends.
“So ladies, I’ve been told your table awaits you.” said Dirk. Grace stood up, picking up her handbag as she glanced in Jack’s direction. He was deep in conversation. What are you doing? she reprimanded herself – I’m engaged to be married. I’m happy. Why did he have to come back? She could feel Dirk’s hand around her lower back. The guilt she felt was making her nausea worse by the minute.
Jack couldn’t help watching her walk across the lobby. He sighed.
“What’s eating you?” asked Conor, handing him a beer. “It’s jammers in there.” Conor nodded towards the bar. “Who was the babe you were talking to?”
“Grace Fitzgerald … she’s engaged to the asshole who owns this place,” Nick, a friend of Conor’s, cut in before Jack had a chance to reply.
“Shhh,” said Conor, “someone will hear you, Nick.”
“What do I care? She’s too good for him. She might be from the wrong-side-of-the-tracks but she has more class in her little finger than most I know. He’s a jumped-up mammy’s boy,” Nick said, just as somebody called him away.
“Come on, let’s go into the bar. I can’t be listening to that fella. He’s worse than a woman,” said Conor, under his breath to Jack.
Nick’s remarks were exactly what bugged Jack about small town Ireland. Why can’t people be judged by their deeds and not their address? To hear Grace being talked about rattled him.
“I must say this salmon is wonderful,” said Sophia, noticing that although Grace looked fabulous, she was clearly not herself. She had picked at her starter and was moving her food around the plate instead of eating.
“The food is always great here,” she remarked but Sophia looked pointedly at her plate. “I know. Oh Sophia, I don’t like to moan. Especially since it’s the first time we’ve met again. But I’m feeling awful. My tummy is in knots. I must be coming down with something.”
Sophia raised her eyebrows but it was not the time or the place to ask questions about what she had witnessed in the lobby. Was that the cause of Grace’s anxiety, she wondered? Sophia was sure that Dirk had noticed too.
“Order some peppermint tea, it will help. We can make it an early night Grace. We’ll have plenty of time to catch up. I’m planning to stay a week or two.”
“That’s great news,” said Grace, putting down her knife and fork. She tried to get the attention of the waiter.
“Can you recommend a place, maybe self-catering? I’d like to look after myself while I’m here.”
“There are some self-catering thatched cottages near Bayrush Beach which is a wonderful, long, golden sand beach. I can check availability in the morning.”
“It sounds perfect Grace.”
Later over a decaf coffee to Grace’s peppermint tea, Sophia began to talk about Bill and how devastated she was by his sudden death.
“Oh Sophia, I’m so glad you’re staying around for a while. And thanks for sharing with me about Bill. I can’t imagine what you are going through but I just know you’ll love it here. There’s so much I want to tell you about. But tomorrow is another day,” said Grace.
“Grace …” said Sophia, with tears in her eyes. “Thanks for listening. And for letting me in to your world.”
“I’m not going to ask you to explain that to me. But tonight was just lovely.”
“For me too. I hope you’ll feel better after a good night’s sleep.”
“God Sophia if anybody overhears us there’ll be a rumour about us.” Sophia burst out laughing.
Walking out to the lobby, Grace said, “Let me find Dirk to tell him I’m going home. Oh, there he is.”
Sophia watched as they spoke together and was about to turn away when she spotted Jack leaving. He smiled and waved at her. She waved back, but his attention was on Grace who was pecking Dirk on the cheek. Jack accidentally bumped into the door. So, thought Sophia. What was that about? It was all very intriguing, she thought as Grace rejoined her.
“I’ll walk you to your car. I could do with some fresh air,” said Sophia, walking out into the cool night air. At the car Grace climbed in, and Sophia added, “Talk to you tomorrow. Arrivederci.” The word had simply rolled off her tongue for the first time since Bill had died.
“And to you too,” said Grace, from the open window. Sophia watched as the car disappeared down the long avenue. Turning back towards The Meadows she noticed its beautiful façade. She walked to a garden bench and sat, looking upwards. The sky was awash with stars. Bill had once said he loved Ireland so much because heaven felt close to the earth.
I know you’re up there, Bill, she thought. I can feel you near me. And tonight I truly understand what you had meant. Oh Bill, I miss you so much.