A mid-October wind gushed along the beach and the rain beat against the French doors of Rose Cottage as Grace worked. She stood up when she caught a glimpse of somebody on the beach. Who could be out walking on a day like today, she wondered, and then she saw the person dropping into the sand.
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph, what’s that about!” she said, running downstairs. “Sophia, you’re not going to believe it but some eejit is out walking in that weather with no coat on and whoever it is has fallen.” She picked up a couple of raincoats as she spoke.
“Wait, I’ll come with you.”
“No point in the two of us getting wet!”
“Okay, but be careful.”
“Ah Sophia, it’s broad daylight,” she smiled. She ran along the beach, getting soaked in the process.
“Jesus Christ, what the hell are you doing? Get up!” She couldn’t believe her eyes. It was Jessie.
Jessie roared at her. “Leave me alone, for God’s sake leave me alone. Why does everybody think they need to fix me? They can’t. My heart is broken. It can’t be fixed Grace …”
“Look Jess, I don’t want to fix you. I want you to come in out of the rain. We can talk, okay? You need to TALK, if not to me to somebody. Jess, get up, honey. Come on,” she shouted above the wind, trying to be heard.
Jessie got up and allowed Grace to drape the raincoat over her as they walked back along the beach in silence.
Grace led Jessie through the red half-door of Rose Cottage. Without saying a word, Grace gestured to Sophia to boil the kettle. Grace could see the shock on Sophia’s face to see Jessie in such a state. She brought Jessie upstairs and straight into the bathroom. Neither of them spoke as Jessie sat on the downturned toilet lid. Grace began to run a bath for her friend. Jessie was soaked to the skin, her red curls were plastered to her head and her face was as pale as a ghost. She looked haunted.
“Give me those wet clothes and get in before you get pneumonia. I’ll bring you up a cup of tea. I promise I won’t look.”
Jessie gave her a half-smile. “Thanks, Grace.
Grateful for the smile, Grace closed the bathroom door and went downstairs. She rang Geoff. He was worried sick – Jessie was supposed to have been home ages ago and she hadn’t answered any of his calls. Grace told him where she had found Jessie and that she’d run her a bath. Geoff filled Grace in about the trip to the doctor who had prescribed medication and recommended a counsellor because Jessie was suffering some kind of post-natal depression without the babies.
“Okay, I’m glad I know that. I was wondering what in God’s name had come over her.” Grace felt guilty. She had been avoiding Jessie, speaking only on the phone for the past week in case she noticed that she was pregnant. She was having a baby that she hadn’t wanted while Jessie had so desperately wanted hers.
After bringing Jessie tea, Grace joined Sophia, who was sitting at the kitchen counter. “What can I do to help her, Sophia?”
“Nothing,” Sophia said simply. “You are going to do nothing but listen.”
“Sophia, you don’t understand, that’s the problem. She won’t bloody well talk so how can anyone listen?”
“She’ll talk when she’s ready. You will just have to wait.” She spoke with such conviction it was impossible to dismiss her.
“Sophia, you don’t understand. Jessie is a talker, she has never – not talked.”
“Could this be the first time in her life that she has suffered, deeply suffered?”
Grace thought for a moment and answered simply. “Yes.”
“Then give her time. Support her, be here but don’t try to fix her. Nobody can do that except Jessie. She’ll do it when she’s ready. She’ll find a way.”
Sophia woke the following morning. The bad weather remained. She rose and walked to the bedroom window. She watched the rain dashing down in sheets. She’d have to put off her morning walk. It was hard to believe that she was still here. The weeks had run into one another and now she was renting this beautiful house. It just seemed so natural, normal even. Still it was time. She had booked a flight to return to New York next week but had made a promise to herself that before she left Ireland she was going to do something that she had watched every second Sunday since she’d come here. After that she would be ready to face things again. As her Italian grandmother once told her, “you can run, but remember when you stop, it is yourself that you will find.” She had said those words when Sophia had complained about how hard their life was. Her grandmother had smiled and said, “All I want for you is happiness, Sophia? Things will never make you happy, people will.”
Her words made sense. Richard was the only family she had left. Yesterday had been traumatic. Poor Jessie’s circumstances had brought back memories of all the miscarriages she had been through. She had had hopes and dreams of a little brother or sister for Richard, but she had never reached past ten weeks. She couldn’t imagine how it must have felt to give birth to perfectly formed little babies and then to bury them. It truly wasn’t fair. She had every faith in Jessie; yesterday needed to happen. She needed to show a crack in the armour. At least now another person could reach in.
Jessie drove to another town to get the prescription filled; such was her shame about depression. She took the medication for the next three days. The doctor told her to take the sleeping tablets with the antidepressants for the first few days because sometimes it took a while for the tablets to take effect.
But she was still exhausted and after three nightmare-filled sleeps she rang the counsellor priest, Jim, the guy Kate had introduced her to at Sophia’s house-warming. He lived miles away; she eventually found the seventies-style bungalow on the outskirts of the little fishing village.
“Come on in, you’re very welcome,” he said, leading her along the hallway. She felt awkward and self-conscious. She truly believed that she was supposed to be able to deal with her own problems. She was an adult and everybody had problems. Coming to a counsellor made her feel weak and inadequate.
She sat down in a comfortable armchair in the living room and busied herself with looking at the patterned carpet. It made her think of her childhood home. Jim sat opposite her. There was a big picture window to her left draped with net curtains.
“So, Jessie.”
Silence. She sat looking at the pattern on the nets. She didn’t know where to start or if she really wanted to.
“It must be difficult. We’re not meant to lose our children,” he said.
Finally she spoke. “It’s my fault.”
She didn’t know why. She remained silent and then a few moments later she said, “My placenta was creating too much water. They were perfect. It was me. I let them down. I was supposed to be their mother. My body did it. Me. It was my fault.”
“So, are you angry?”
“No.”
“So you’re not angry.”
She was staring out the window. She turned and looked at him.
“I’m not angry. I’m just … irritated.” She was ringing her hands. “I know that doesn’t make sense. I just feel irritated by people. Older people say things like, ‘Ah sure, it could have broken a bigger cross’, meaning there might have been something wrong with them. Imagine people imply that kind of thing! I simply wanted our babies. I wanted to love them and bring them up. That’s all. What did we ever do that was so bad that God took them away? Yeah … I am angry. But I’m scared to be.”
“Why?”
She explained that she thought that if she got angry with God he might not “let her in” and then she would never see her babies again. But she said she felt so trapped in the silence.
“I was trying so hard not to scream at God. I did though. Last week I screamed at him but I stopped myself.”
He told her that grieving was a process and that anger was part of that process.
“It’s like a child throwing a tantrum. The best thing a parent can do is to hold the child in their arms until he or she stops kicking and screaming. Then the child will feel the arms of love around them. That’s what God does. He lets us kick, scream and rail against him but he still loves us. He never turns his back on us. We may turn away from him but he is always open and always ready to forgive. It is okay to be angry Jessie. It really is.”
She sat there in the big soft chair with tears pouring down her cheeks. “I feel stupid. I’m sorry. I can’t stop the tears.”
“Ah. Don’t worry about it. I’d say that carpet could grow mushrooms all the tears spilled on it over the years.”
She smiled through them and asked for some tissues. He passed a box and said, “When you think you are strong enough Jessie, you will find a place and a time to let them go. Imagine if you still had your baby boys, some day they would grow up and fly the nest. One might say – Mum I’m going to Australia, the other might marry a girl you can’t see eye to eye with, who knows. What I am saying is that we don’t own our children. As parents we simply have a loan of them. All we can do is our best. Jessie, if you love somebody you have to set them free. With that freedom they will love you back tenfold. Think about this and when you find the strength, make a trip. Mark the occasion and place where you can finally let them go to their spiritual resting place. I assure you they will always be near you.”
Jessie listened intently. A huge part of her struggled with what she was hearing. She realised she would need time to process what he was saying. Then maybe she could act on it.
“Oh my God, I’ve been here two and a half hours. How much do I owe you?”
“Nothing.”
“No way!”
“No, really, I’m glad to help.”
“I’m sorry I can’t accept that. I want to give you something.”
“Okay, pick a charity of your choice and make a donation to it if that makes you feel better.” He smiled.
As Jessie drove away her faith in humanity was never stronger. She thought of the goodwill and kindness of her family and friends. Each of them had supported her in ways impossible to describe. They had brought casseroles, helped in the yard, and sometimes they had simply stayed around her even when she had nothing to say. She had to help herself for Geoff and Sam’s sake as well as her own.
The long journey was a therapeutic experience. She had time to reflect on what Jim had said. She stopped and made a phone call. She had heard about a lady in Bayrush who gave treatments like the one she had experienced in Barcelona. She decided to give it a try; even if it only helped her to get some sleep again.
Jessie sat on a bench looking out to sea, waiting for Grace. She already knew what Grace was going to tell her.
“Hi, sorry I got delayed,” Grace said, rushing towards her. Her voice was filled with apprehension.
“No problem, I was just admiring the view. The town council have done a great job along the harbour. It’s a credit to them. Bayrush is looking very smart, even if we are in a recession. At least they spent the money well in the good times.”
“Don’t know if many would agree. What about health and …”
“Don’t go there. Come on, let’s get moving. I’m getting cold sitting here.”
The two of them linked up and walked along the riverfront.
“I have something to tell you, Jess.”
“I already know. I guessed a while ago.” Jessie stopped and looked directly into Grace’s eyes. “As long as you’re okay that’s all I care about, Gracey.”
Grace began to pour her heart out. “Oh Jess, it was such a shock. I was afraid to tell you. Especially because well … I wasn’t happy about it.”
“Grace, my wanting the babies shouldn’t come into it. Nobody can ever replace them and it would be an awful place to be if I resented you for being pregnant. I’ll be here to support you all the way.”
Grace’s eyes filled with tears as she hugged her best friend. “I always knew you would but I just felt …”
“Stop, will you. I’m just so glad you told me because it was wrecking my head watching you and not feeling like I could say anything. Aren’t we lucky we’re going to have a new addition to our lives? Have you told your mother?”
“Yes, I told her the other night. She’s … well she’s not exactly over the moon about it. Of course she threw in her oar about how in God’s name did I manage to rear you this long and then at thirty-six you go and get pregnant and I thought you were the bright one.”
“Sounds exactly like her.” And then the two of them laughed as they made their way to Nutties for a pot of tea for Grace and a Bacardi for Jessie, along with a discussion about how Grace was going to tell Dirk.
Two days later Grace finally found the courage to contact Dirk. She sat on the same bench as Jessie had and waited looking out to sea. The sky was a mixture of red, blues and grey. The way the evening sun’s rays broke through the clouds in beams made her feel that there was more to it all, something more powerful beyond just us. The wind blew in from the sea, leaving a taste of salt on her lips. Her stomach was in turmoil. She hadn’t seen Dirk since the night she told him to sell the house, which was eight weeks ago. He hadn’t tried to contact her and she hadn’t felt strong enough physically or emotionally until now. She had heard so many rumours about him that she’d stopped listening. How would he react? Would he want to be involved? Or would he deny the baby? Had she ever known him at all? She had lived with him for three years and thought he was faithful, honest and caring, when it had all been nothing but lies. She was a lousy judge of character. Her belief in herself was so low sometimes she wondered how or if she’d ever trust a man again.
She spotted Dirk in the distance as he walked along the promenade towards her. He was as handsome as ever, but as he drew close there was coolness in his demeanour. She could feel his arrogance even from the distance.
“What’s this about?” he asked, from eight feet away.
“Can we be civilised for a few minutes?” she asked, remaining seated, afraid to stand up in case her legs gave way. She should have told him on the phone, she thought. It would have been much easier.
“Grace, I’m a busy man. I don’t have time for games. You ended it, not me. I’m getting on with my life. So unless you want to try again don’t waste my time.”
“I’m thirteen weeks pregnant,” she blurted out.
“What … but … fuck.” He put his hand on his head and twirled around. “What the … I thought we were taking precautions? Jesus Christ, Grace.” He sat down on the bench and put his elbows on his knees, holding his head between his hands. After a few moments, he turned towards her. “This is crazy,” he muttered, “but I’m going to ask can we try …”
“No,” she said, “if you were going to suggest we try again … no.”
“Why are you telling me then? How do you know it’s even mine?” he accused, but she could see the hurt flashing through the anger in his eyes.
“I won’t justify that with an answer,” she said, her tone loaded with sarcasm. “I wanted to tell you in person. I felt I owed you that. The baby is yours.”
“Well it’s very simple Grace, either you come back to me or else I don’t want anything to do with you or it,” he said, looking pointedly at her tummy. “It’s up to you.” He stood up. She stayed sitting.
“Goodbye, Dirk.”
He shrugged his shoulders, turned and walked back the way he had come without a backward glance. Jesus, how could she have been so stupid.
Grace tossed and turned all night. Eventually she gave up trying to sleep. She went downstairs to boil the kettle. What was she going to do? Her baby would never know its father. This wasn’t the life she’d hoped for. All those years ago she’d told Jack Leslie she’d make something of herself. She hadn’t meant this. She looked out the kitchen window at the October night sky. Some stupid crazy part of her wanted to say yes to Dirk. It would be easier. She wouldn’t feel so desperately alone. He wanted her back; could she forgive him?
“Are you okay?” asked Sophia, coming down the stairs, her face filled with concern.
“You’re still finding it hard to sleep.”
Sophia shrugged her shoulders resignedly and said, “I heard you walking around and thought you might use the company.”
“Oh Sophia, you were right; Dirk wants to get back together.”
Sophia sat into the stool at the counter and remained silent.
“It would be easier.”
Sophia said nothing.
“You told me I was strong. I’m not, Sophia. I don’t want to be a single parent. I don’t want my child to grow up without a father.”
“Do you love Dirk?”
“No.”
“So you’ll sacrifice the chance of ever finding someone you love because you’re scared to be alone.”
“Sophia, how can you understand? You found someone who loved you and you loved back. Not everybody is that fortunate. Compromises have to be made.”
“Never presume you know another person’s story. I was twenty-two years old when I became pregnant with Richard. I brought him up for two years on my own. Someday I will tell you the whole saga but I never sold my soul.”
“Are you saying I’d be selling mine?”
“That’s a question only you can answer. I’m going back to bed.”
Grace watched Sophia as she went back upstairs. Who would have thought? But Sophia was right; she’d end up hating Dirk. The more she thought about everything, the more she realised she was surrounded by a loving family and solid friends. Her baby would have them too. It just wasn’t what she had hoped for but it was better than the alternative.
She’d ring Dirk in the morning and ask him to buy her out of the house at the market price. It would be a lot less than they had paid for it but it would be closure. And she could move on with the rest of her life. Her baby needed security. Thankfully Eoghan looked after the finances in the business and the first thing he had organised was that they both took a set figure every month. She’d have to budget tightly but with Sophia’s request for her to caretake Rose Cottage rent-free while she returned to New York, Grace could use the rent money to buy all the paraphernalia that went with a baby. If Dirk agreed to the sale of the house she could look for a place to buy or rent and be ready to move in before the baby was born in March.
There was no point in going back to bed; instead she went to the office and switched on her computer. Work would be her saviour.
On Sunday morning Sophia parked her car in the yard at McGraths’. The sky was bright and the air was crisp. She was looking forward to the next few hours. Geoff had invited her to join a group of experienced horseback riders who were on holidays. He was bringing them on a trek through the woods and down to Bayrush Beach. This was what she had vowed to do before returning to New York. Her heart thumped at the thought of cantering along the beach. She had watched the fabulous sight so often. The vision of the sea and the sand being kicked back from behind the powerful animals always caught her breath. And today she was going to be part of it. She had butterflies in her tummy in anticipation. She hadn’t had this feeling for years.
Jessie and Geoff had the horses tacked and ready inside the sand arena. There were eight of them.
“Sophia, would you like Caesar as usual?” asked Jessie, bringing the loading block over to the sixteen hands chestnut hunter.
“Perfect, thanks, Jess,” she replied, mounting. “I’m anxious today. I must be crazy.”
“Caesar is kind, Sophia. Just put his nose behind one of the others and he’ll bring you safely down the beach. Don’t give him a clear view or he’ll think he’s in a race. Keep him behind.”
“I don’t know if that makes me feel better or worse,” she replied.
“You’ll be grand, relax and enjoy it,” said Jessie, walking off with the mounting block. What the hell am I doing, thought Sophia. Leaning forward she patted Caesar’s flank, muttering, “Bring me back safe, won’t you, boy?”
Moments later Jessie opened the big doors and they set off in a line. Sophia listened to the tourists speaking what sounded like German. The young girl ahead of her turned around. “It is very beautiful here,” she said.
“It is,” Sophia agreed. “Where are you from?”
“Switzerland,” the girl replied.
“So you are used to beautiful scenery.”
“Ah, yes, but it is all the yellow. The yellow is everywhere and the sheep.”
“Yellow?” Sophia asked, trotting Caesar up next to the girl’s horse. She was intrigued about the yellow.
“You will see.” Then the girl pointed her whip to the yellow gorse bushes in the hedgerows.
“It’s called gorse or furze,” said Sophia, delighted to inform.
To the girl’s further delight a flock of sheep came into sight. Sophia smiled, thinking what would have been like if they’d come in springtime. The sight of the lambs was a joy to behold.
They began to canter along a quiet road and the clattering of the horse’s hooves against the tarmac was like music to her ears. She loved every piece of this. It made her feel so alive.
Half an hour later as they trotted past the racecourse, the excitement within the group grew as the vista of the back-strand, sand dunes and beach of Bayrush came into full view.
“We are so happy. We have never experienced horse-riding on a beach. Our country is land-locked. My friends and I are like little children. You will excuse us … ya,” the young girl, shouted above the noise of the hooves as they trotted past the surf club and beachfront shops.
They entered the beach through a well-worn gap in the sandbank. The horses, sensing the excitement, began to get fired up and couldn’t wait to let loose. Sophia kept Jessie’s advice and pointed Caesar’s nose firmly behind Geoff’s mount.
“All okay?” he asked; they all agreed. “Stick together and follow my pace, okay?”
And they were off. It was the most incredible feeling, the wind in her face and the power of the horse beneath her. Even being sand blasted by Geoff’s horse didn’t deter from the exhilaration of it all. Her adrenaline was pumping; she looked across at the young girl who was beaming.
“It’s incredible,” she called, above the thundering of hooves and panting of the horses.
When they finally finished, Geoff said. “Let the horses walk in the water. They love it.”
Geoff turned his horse to be next to Sophia. “Well, did you enjoy that?”
“Fantastic, I want to do this every Sunday. What a buzz! The group loved it, just look at them.” The others were chatting and laughing with one another as the horses waded in the ocean.
“I’m afraid we can only do it every two weeks because of the tide. But on the other Sunday we do a two-hour trek around the woods and the lake and we even stop in the local pub for a beer. You should come on that one.”
“Sounds like fun,” she smiled. They were walking side by side, companionably chatting about this and that when she asked, “How is Jessie?
“She’s okay. It’s been hard for her both physically and emotionally. She talked with a counsellor and it seems to have helped her. Also she did this thing in Spain, I don’t know, some kind of relaxation therapy but it has helped her sleep. She found someone who offers it here.”
Sophia was fascinated. Although she loved it in Ireland she still dreaded night-time. She filled her days as much as possible in the hope of exhausting herself but still she found it hard to sleep.
“Do you think I could ask her about it, Geoff?”
“Of course, she’ll be around the yard or the house when we get back. You can chat to her then, I’m sure.”
Sophia helped untack the horses and said goodbye to the Swiss tourists. Geoff insisted she come in for a coffee. Jessie was in the kitchen making dinner.
“Oh, hi Sophia, will you have a cuppa?” asked Jessie, pushing the big black kettle onto the range hot plate.
“I hope I’m not intruding …”
“I was telling Sophia about the lady you go to … she’s interested in that stuff too. So I’ll leave ye to it,” said Geoff, heading back out the door.
Sam ran through the kitchen when he heard his father’s voice and called, “Dad, wait for me! Hey Sophia.”
“Hi Sam. Jessie, I can talk to you another time. You’re so busy.”
“No time like the present, Sophia. And really it’s a roast, there’s no rush. Tea or coffee?” she asked, taking two mugs from the wooden rack on the worktop. Jessie told her about the doctor prescribing antidepressants and how she hadn’t wanted to take them. And about Barcelona and going to talk to the priest she had met at Sophia’s house-warming. She had found a lady called Aisling who was a psychologist but had trained in reflexology, acupuncture and a range of other Eastern therapies. She had gone for a couple of sessions and so far it was helping her to sleep.
“I’d like to try it out. Do you have a contact number?” Jessie looked up her mobile and gave the number to Sophia. Sophia appreciated that Jessie didn’t pry as to why she would want to see this lady. As Sophia climbed into her car, she thought how easy it had been to chat with Jessie. She keyed the number in there and then. She managed to get a cancellation for the following day.
Wow, thought Sophia as she pulled away from the therapist’s house on the outskirts of Bayrush. She had had a wonderful experience but she couldn’t describe it. The sound of the pebbles crunching under the tyres as she drove along the avenue to Rose Cottage made her feel comforted. Her mind felt clear for the first time in a very long time. Aisling had recommended that she drink plenty of water for the next few days. She was exhausted and went gladly to bed.
The next morning Sophia and Grace were together in the kitchen. “I miss Richard, I love it here Grace, but I also need to see him. I hoped he’d come but … he hates flying.”
Grace closed the newspaper she was reading and placed it on the breakfast counter. “I can’t say I’m surprised. But you hadn’t mentioned going home much lately so I thought you’d changed your mind.”
“Although I’m aware he’s so busy I’ll hardly see him but …” Her voice trailed.
“He’s your son,” Grace filled in. “You’ll be missed, Sophia. When are you leaving?”
“In two days’ time.”
“Oh.” Grace’s voice was filled with disappointment. “Well, let’s just make the best of your time left here so. Are you and Eoghan going out in the boat today?”
“To be sure, we are,” said Sophia, getting up from the kitchen table. “I must get ready.”
“Oh God, Sophia, will you ever give up. Your attempts at the Irish accent are getting worse,” laughed Grace.
“It is begor.” She laughed, running upstairs to change.
“I’ll cook dinner for all of us this evening,” Grace called after her. She actually dreaded the thought of Sophia leaving and of being alone, really alone.
Later that evening while Eoghan and Sophia sat in the living room, Grace pottered around the kitchen.
“How’s the hake coming along?” asked Eoghan from where he sat by the fire, sharing a bottle of Chardonnay with Sophia who sat on the cream couch across from him.
“It’s your recipe I’m using so I’ll blame you if it all goes wrong. Anyway I’m the pregnant person here. Why am I doing all the work?” She laughed.
“Well it was your idea. Sophia said she’d some news to share and so I’m all ears here,” said Eoghan, in great spirits.
“I’m going back to the States for a while.”
“Oh.” He took a sip but looked quizzically over the glass. “I’m just surprised that’s all. I suppose when you rented the house, I figured you were here for the long-haul.”
“I’ll be back, it’s just I have responsibilities and well … I think it’s time I went back to face things.”
“You’ll be missed,” he said, holding his glass up. And then he changed the subject completely. “Is it ready yet, girly?”
“Eoghan Forrester. If you don’t behave I’ll throw you out,” said Grace, but she knew from his demeanour he was saddened that Sophia was leaving. He meant the world to Grace and her life had completely changed the day she met him. He had given her the courage and belief that she could actually set up a business, and he had provided the financial backing she had needed when no bank would support her. She’d have an early night and let them chat, she decided as she plated the dinner.
“Come and get it.”
“That smells gorgeous, Gracey!” said Eoghan, getting up to join her at the kitchen counter.
“Come on so, let’s tuck in,” said Grace. In her heart she wanted Sophia to have plenty of reasons to come back and looking at Eoghan she knew he did too.
Later when Grace had gone to bed, Eoghan and Sophia sat opposite one another in front of the turf fire.
“Grace is going to caretake the cottage while I’m away,”
“Good, it’d be a shame to leave it empty.”
“I’m worried about her, Eoghan.”
“She has me, Sophia.”
“He hasn’t acted honourably.”
“Sophia, he was always an ass. Excuse the language, but well it wasn’t my place to say. We can’t always help who we fall for.”
She nodded her head in agreement and wondered not for the first time about Eoghan. “I just want to make sure that Grace has a place to stay and that she doesn’t make any rash decisions. I’m not prying but I’m very aware that it is a young business, and until they sell the house she will be tied up financially for a while – she might even come out of it owing money.”
Eoghan nodded his head in agreement. “It’s good of you to offer her this place, Sophia. And I know your friendship has certainly helped pull her through, but she has a good family and friends and we’re all here for her so don’t worry. Go back and do what you need to do but know that we’ll all be looking forward to your return. Now I’ll take my leave as they say. Night Sophia and a very safe journey to you,” he said, getting up and picking up his coat.
For a moment she was lost about how to say goodbye. He didn’t make any attempt to kiss her. So she stood awkwardly and made her way around the couch to the front door. “Goodbye Eoghan.” And he was gone.
She closed the door slowly, turned and walked upstairs.