Kate tried Grace’s mobile again but there was no answer. She tried Jessie’s mobile. Geoff answered.
“Hi Kate, I just found Jessie’s phone on the ground outside Beauty’s stable.”
“I’m looking for Grace. I’ve tried Mam too but neither answered. Is there any news?”
“They’re probably just busy. I’m sure one of them will call you back soon.”
“Okay, thanks Geoff.” But talking with Geoff did nothing to assuage her fears. Maybe Grace had gone into labour. She clicked Eoghan’s number next.
“Hi Sophia, have you seen Jessie? I found her mobile in the stable. Kate has been trying to contact Grace or Molly but nobody is answering. Please tell me you know where my wife is,” said Geoff, light-heartedly.
“Yes, she’s right here beside me. We’re in the hospital. It’s started.”
“Well sure isn’t that great news.”
“I don’t think Grace would agree,” said Sophia and he could hear Grace’s distant retort. “Are all men the same – totally thick!”
“She’s not exactly herself at the moment,” Sophia explained, half whispering and half laughing.
“Look, tell Jess I found her phone and we’ll expect her when we see her.”
“I must have dropped it in the rush to get here. See you later, honey,” Jessie called from across the room.
“Concentrate,” said Grace.
“Jesus if I’d known I was going to be abused I’d have told you to shove it. It’s a wonder any relationship survives this.”
“Ahhh.”
“Grace, you’re not even in full labour yet.”
“I was just practising.” They all laughed.
But hours later Grace was in agony. Jessie hadn’t been able to put Molly off coming to the hospital so the three of them sat around the bed in the ward.
“For Christ’s sake, somebody should have told me. You,” she said, glaring at Jessie. “You’re supposed to be my friend; you should have told me.”
Sophia and Jessie passed looks over the top of the bed where Grace lay.
“Come on, get up, let’s go walking, we’ll walk it out. If there was a window to clean I’d get you at it,” said Molly.
Sophia and Molly were asked to leave. Only Jessie as the birthing partner was allowed to stay. It was one o’clock in the morning and Grace still had not progressed sufficiently and was complaining of pains that seemed to be more than labour pains. Jessie was getting more concerned by the minute. The nurse began to prep Grace for an emergency Caesarean section. She suggested taking an epidural, that way Grace would be alert enough to see the baby immediately.
Jessie wondered why she had agreed to come here, what if something went wrong. She tried to push all the memories away. But if Grace had asked somebody else she’d have been so cross. Her friend needed her to be strong.
“Can you make sure that the screen is high enough? I don’t want to be able to see,” said Jessie to the nurse as she led her into the surgical ward to join Grace.
“Don’t worry, you wouldn’t unless you want to look.”
But just in case, Jessie virtually crawled in the door, afraid to raise her head for fear of what she might see. Grace was very anxious.
“Excuse me, I can feel that. Please don’t start yet. I don’t think that anaesthetic is working.”
Jessie noticed there were looks exchanged around the room.
“Relax, Grace,” said the nurse in a reassuring voice and then Grace fell asleep.
“I’m sorry but we had to up the anaesthetic I’m afraid. Can you wait outside please?” said the head nurse, leading Jessie out.
Jessie joined Molly and Sophia. She explained what had happened but played it down to allay Molly’s fears, but she could see that Sophia was thinking the worse too. Oh please, God let them both be okay, she prayed.
Around one-fifty a nurse came out and they all looked up expectantly but she kept on walking. Another ten minutes passed. Jessie thought her heart would burst she was so afraid. Molly and Sophia were pacing up and down the corridor. Finally the door opened and the doctor emerged.
“Can I speak to Grace’s closest family member?”
“I’m her mother, but I would like you to speak with all of us. I’m very nervous, Doctor. What is happening?”
“Mrs Fitzgerald, your daughter is going to be fine. We had to give her a general anaesthetic. So it will be a while before she comes around fully. She had a baby boy …”
“Oh, that’s wonderful. What a relief!” Jessie held Molly’s arm.
“However, there are some complications. The baby will need surgery. I will be in a better position to explain this when Miss Fitzgerald comes around. It’s not imminent but it is something we will have to address.”
“Can we see them, Doctor?”
“The baby has been brought to the neonatal unit. He will have to be monitored. Unfortunately you will only be able to look at him through the glass wall. I don’t know how the mother will feel about you seeing the baby yet. She may well want to be the first to see him.”
“Yes Doctor, thank you, I think we will wait,” said Molly. They all nodded in agreement.
“Molly, I think you need to sit down,” said Jessie, concerned. There was so much to take in. Molly began to cry. Not a sobbing cry, just tears rolling slowly down her face.
Jessie’s heart ached for the elderly woman. Please, please God, she thought, let the baby be okay. Whatever it is, let them both be okay. They would handle it together, just don’t take this baby. We all need this baby.
“There, there, Molly, everything will be fine,” assured her.
Seeing Sophia taking over, Jessie excused herself and walked towards the lift. She needed air and she needed it fast. She exited the hospital through the casualty area out into the cold March night. She walked a small distance from the exit and then she heard herself howl into the night sky.
“Please God, I know you’re up there. Don’t take this baby. You don’t need any more babies. You have enough babies.”
She needed a cigarette badly. She hadn’t had one for years. She heard a voice coming from behind. She got such a fright that she jumped.
“Are you okay, love?” asked the security guard.
Looking into his kind, wise face, she asked, “You wouldn’t have a cigarette by any chance?”
He reached into his jacket pocket and produced a box and lighter. They lit up.
“Bad news, eh?”
She was grateful he didn’t ask any questions. They stood smoking in silence. The silence was so comfortable she wondered if maybe it was a regular occurrence in his line of work.
“Come on, love. Come back inside. It’s freezing out here. Have a cup of tea. It will all be all right.”
She let him walk her back inside. She felt stupid and melodramatic. She needed to pull herself together. Her friend needed her. She told him kindly that she was okay and thanked him for being so nice.
“The nurses suggested we go home,” said Sophia. “Grace is in the recovery room and there’s nothing we can do.”
Jessie nodded in agreement. She followed Sophia’s car to Molly’s house as it was nearest to the hospital. It was two-forty in the morning. They made tea. Always tea in a crisis, thought Jessie.
“There are fresh sheets in the hot press, Jess,” said Molly, pouring the tea. “I’d already made a bed for Sophia. Had I known …”
“It’s fine Molly … Grace and the baby are going to be fine too,” she assured her.
“I’ll set the clock for seven-thirty. Do you think they’ll let us in that early?” asked Molly.
“I doubt it but you could ring,” said Jessie, feeling lost without her phone. She’d love to talk to Geoff.
At ten o’clock the next morning the doctor came in to speak with Grace. She had been fortunate to get a private room and was surrounded by Jessie, Sophia and her mother. He asked if he could speak to her with just one person in the room.
Grace told him that it was important to her that all three stayed. He conceded and began the process of explaining that she had given birth to a baby boy but there were complications.
“The baby has a hole in his heart which needs to be dealt with. Thankfully, it is a common enough procedure but like any procedures there can be complications. We have to do further tests. I’m sorry.”
Grace turned away towards the window. She couldn’t believe what he was telling her. Her baby, her little baby boy had a hole in his heart. After a minute she asked the question she was terrified of an answer to. “Are you telling me that he might not survive …?”
“Thankfully we have the knowledge and skills to address the issue. Your little baby has a good chance, but there are always risks.”
“Jessie, will you contact Dirk for me?”
Sophia sat with Jessie in the coffee shop in the lobby of the hospital. Jessie had contacted Dirk who said he was on the way. Sophia’s mobile rang.
“What’s going on?” asked Kate, her voice filled with exasperation.
“Oh, Kate … it’s Grace.”
“Tell me.”
“She’s had the baby. When are you coming home?”
“The day after tomorrow. But that’s good news … isn’t it? Sophia, what’s going on? Grace and the baby are okay, aren’t they?”
“Yes, of course.” Sophia was stalling. “Can I call you back in a few minutes? Everything is okay. What hotel are you staying at?
“I’m in the Woodmore.”
Sophia hung up. She told Jessie that it was Kate and that she hadn’t known what to tell her but that she couldn’t leave the poor girl in limbo.
But Jessie was hardly listening. Sophia realised that it had been a long night for all of them but most especially Jessie after all she had been through only recently.
“There’s Dirk,” said Jessie. Sophia watched as Dirk walked through the lobby of the hospital. She couldn’t help feeling sorry for him under the circumstances. She looked at her watch. It was twelve-thirty which meant it was eight-thirty in the morning in Miami.
“I just remembered Richard is in Miami. He could go to Kate then she wouldn’t be alone. I can explain everything to him.”
“That’s a good idea,” Jessie answered absentmindedly as Sophia clicked Richard’s name.
Kate opened the hotel room door and couldn’t believe her eyes. “What are you doing here? Richard, please don’t tell me it’s bad news.” She turned and walked back into the room, and standing at the window looking out across Miami Bay, she waited. Richard still hadn’t spoken a word. “Will you for God’s sake just tell me Richard?”
He began to stammer. “Sh, sh … She’s okay, so is the baby. It’s ju-ju-just that there are some … complications.”
“Richard, would you ever just get it out? I never realised you were so … Oh I don’t know … What complications?”
“The baby has a hole in his heart. The little baby …” With that he sat down on the bed and put his head in his hands. Then he added. “He has a hole in his little heart. They can’t operate until he is stronger. They have to keep him in the neonatal unit.”
Kate sat on the bed next to him. She didn’t know what to make of all this. Nor did she know who was consoling who any more. She had a hugely important meeting to attend in approximately four minutes in the lobby downstairs. She had managed to speak to the marketing people from Cel Cruise. It would be fantastic for the business if they could close a deal.
“Okay,” she said. “Come on. I have to meet these guys from Cel Cruise in the lobby, like now. So come on. I have to do this for my sister. And, prat and all as you are at delivering news, I need you more than I ever needed anyone in my life. So get it together. I am going to get this contract if it’s the last thing I ever do. You can pretend you work with me, okay?”
He stood up and followed her out the door.
Richard could see the contingent weren’t impressed. These guys were never kept waiting but Kate switched it on. They got the full blast of her charm and within minutes she had them laughing. She said something about when Americans build hotels they build virtual cities and sure how could a girl not expect to get completely lost. It lightened the mood. Richard sat quietly listening to her sales pitch. Then one of the men asked him his opinion of Ireland.
“It’s a wonderful place with a beautiful coastline, mountains, monasteries, castles, towers and old world pubs with traditional music and dance. And some fine restaurants too. Ireland for Real also offers golf, fishing, shooting, and for the more active, horse-riding and other more adventurous water sports activities like sailing, surfing, and kite surfing …” Then he added, looking at a gobsmacked Kate, “To me, its most special feature is … the people. They are wonderfully, warm and welcoming.”
“Wow, sounds like our passengers will just love it. What do you think?” Hank Catonia turned to the other two guys who both nodded in agreement.
“I think, Miss Fitzgerald, we might have ourselves a deal. I’ll have my people contact yours in the next few weeks. We can thrash out the finer details.”
“Thank you,” she said, looking individually at the three men in front of her. “Thank you so much, you will never know how much this means to us. Your passengers will love Ireland.”
They shook hands. When they were out of sight, Kate flopped back into the couch and breathed a huge sigh of relief. She closed her eyes and when she opened them he was standing in front of her.
“Come on, up you get,” he said.
“Where are we going?”
“Home.”
“What do you mean?”
“Let’s just check out. I’ll make some calls and we’ll be back in Ireland in no time at all. We can wait with everyone else.”
Richard hadn’t done anything spontaneous in years. He felt alive again. He realised that he needed her and no matter what the obstacles were, he hoped with all his heart that she felt the same.
Checking out, Kate discovered that Richard’s reservation was booked under Cruise News. Why hadn’t she thought of that?
Richard had organised the company jet to fly them to Ireland. Editor my ass, she thought. He’d have to explain that and everything else to her. But now was not the time.
Molly left the room when Dirk came in. Grace noticed the colour draining from his face as he looked at her. She was so weak she could hardly move and she was devastated because she wasn’t strong enough to see the baby.
He stood awkwardly for a moment and then pulled a chair up beside the bed. Touching her hand, he asked gently. “How are you feeling?”
She smiled weakly and then tears trickled down her face. She explained what she had been told so far. She could see he was devastated but was trying his best to hold it together.
“Jessie will bring you to see him, that’s if you still want to.”
“Of course I want to, it changes nothing. I am his father. I promise you Grace I will do everything I can to be a good father. Do you think so little of me … you think because he’s got something wrong that I wouldn’t want him? God, Grace …” But then he paused and said,“I know I’ve been a bastard. I deserved that but, Grace, can we put it behind us and move forward from here? I want to see him.” She just nodded because even after everything that had happened between them she knew he genuinely meant what he was saying.
Jessie saw Grace’s text.
“Grace wants me to bring Dirk to see the baby. I’ll be back shortly.”
“Good,” said Sophia. “I’m so glad.”
Jessie saw Dirk coming out of Grace’s room. Molly was in the corridor waiting, and Jessie overheard Molly speaking to Dirk. “Grace is allowing you into the baby’s life but if you hurt them again, Dirk, you’ll have me to deal with.” Then Molly turned and smiled towards Jessie as though she hadn’t said a word. “Ah there’s Jessie now.”
Jessie couldn’t help feeling sorry for the poor guy. He was pale and anxious-looking and having to deal with Molly too.
“Hi Dirk, come on, I’ll lead the way. We’ll have to be gowned up.”
“Thanks, Jessie,” he said gratefully as Molly went back into Grace’s room.
The baby was in an incubator with wires coming in and out of it. Jessie watched Dirk as he sat next to it and just gazed at his son.
“He’s beautiful,” he whispered, “Jesus, Jessie it’s terrifying. If there is a God, which I doubt, but if there is, please don’t let anything happen to my child.”
Standing behind him, she could hear the lump in his throat. He was trying hard to stop the tears that were so close.
“Take some pictures on your phone for Grace,” she said, trying to lighten the moment. “She’ll be delighted to have them.”
“Good idea.” He began to take some shots and then he sat down and put his hand into the incubator and touched his baby for the first time. “Imagine,” he said, “I have a son.”
Jessie walked back with him to say goodbye to Grace.
Closing the door behind her she heard Dirk saying, “He’s so beautiful. He looks just like you Gracey although he has my mother’s mouth.”
Jessie knew that would amuse Grace even though she was too sore to laugh. She was glad to be heading home to her own two boys.
Jessie drove into the yard and was greeted by Sam who hugged her and ran off to join Monique in the yard. Geoff walked towards her and took her in his arms. He squeezed her tight.
“The doctors said that the baby has to be stronger before they can do anything but luckily he is a good weight already and is showing strong vital signs so far.”
“Well that is positive news. Thank God. We’ll just have to wait and see. I’m so proud of you, Jess.”
He wrapped his strong arms around her again. She needed it. Last night had brought everything back again. “Geoff, do you think we’ll ever really get over it?”
“No, honey, we won’t, but we’ll learn to live with it. I must admit I was worried when you agreed to be Grace’s birth partner but I figured you knew best.”
“I wanted to be. If she had asked somebody else I would have had murder.”
Smiling, he agreed. “I know and Grace knew it too. The baby will be okay. That is quite a common enough problem and as you said, the baby is a little fighter already. Come on, there’s some soup and rolls inside.”
“Geoff.”
He turned around. “Yeah.”
“I love you.”
“Me too.”
“I hate that.”
“What?”
“Me too – like it means you love yourself too.”
“Of course. Sure that’s what I meant.” She laughed and threw her eyes to heaven, walking in the back door behind him.
The aeroplane touched down at Waterford Airport. It was the nearest airport to Bayrush. Kate felt like royalty. It was all so surreal. They had talked the whole way over. Richard had told her about his wife and child. She couldn’t imagine what he must have gone through. But being her usual self she had stupidly said, “You picked a fine time to tell me about the plane crash.”
He had smiled at the paradox of it all but she was annoyed with herself for saying it. Sometimes she wished her mouth didn’t run off with her the way that it did. She was so glib at times. It was her protection. She felt so confused and she was upset about Gracey and the baby. Why couldn’t things be simple? Why was everything a big drama in her life? She had turned twenty-seven last month. Why couldn’t she fall for somebody straightforward? He seemed to just find her amusing – smiling in that way of his at her sometimes rather stupid jokes.
Well, Kate Fitzgerald, the best thing you can do is to get on with your life, because there is not a chance in hell that a man like Richard could love someone like you, she thought as she sat in the passenger seat of the hired Mercedes.
“Kate?” Her heart nearly missed a beat.
“Yes.”
“Don’t mention how you got home to anyone.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you own a huge communications company?
“You never asked.”
“Look, my mother would prefer if you didn’t mention anything you might know about her, even to her. Will you respect her privacy?”
“Of course, Richard.”
After dropping Kate to her mother’s house, Richard drove up the gravel drive to Rose Cottage. Why hadn’t he told her how he felt about her? She was wonderful. Everything about her made him smile but he couldn’t verbalise it. Sometimes the guilt overwhelmed him. Why was he still here when Heather, who was a much better person than him, wasn’t? He didn’t deserve a second chance. He wasn’t good enough. He reversed the car out of the drive and called the airport.
“I need to get back to New York urgently.”
Kate Fitzgerald deserved the best and he wasn’t worthy of her. She had opened his heart again, and made it possible for him to think that he could care about somebody else again; for that he could be grateful.
The baby had to remain in the neonatal ward, which Grace found very difficult. Dirk sat beside her as they waited for the doctor to speak with them about how he planned to proceed. She had chosen the name Finn, after Finn Mac Cool, the Irish Warrior, and Dirk had been in total agreement. She looked at her beautiful baby boy who was wearing a special cotton hat her mother had knitted for him. Molly had said it was nice to do something to help, and she and Nora had offered to knit more for other babies.
Thankfully Finn was gaining strength by the day. She put her hand into the incubator and touched his tiny body with her fingertips. She couldn’t explain the overwhelming feeling of love she had for this tiny being. No words could explain it.
She turned as Dirk said, “It’s an incredible feeling isn’t it? Imagine he’s our baby, Grace.”
She smiled and just nodded with tears in her eyes. “We did something good.”
Dirk smiled as the door opened and the doctor drew up another chair.
“Guys, let me just explain. Approximately 500-600 babies are born in Ireland every year with a congenital heart defect. It seems that Finn had ventricular septal defect, VSD, which is an opening that exists between the two lower chambers of the heart. If the opening is small, it will not strain the heart and only requires a heart catheterisation procedure. But if the opening is large, I would recommend open-heart surgery. The surgeon won’t know until he operates, so you will have to grant permission in advance. It will be done in Dublin. I understand there is much for you both to consider.”
“Will there be other side effects?” asked Dirk.
Grace couldn’t think straight: “open-heart surgery”.
“Some babies with a large ventricular septal defect can become undernourished and also have growth problems. They may develop severe symptoms or high blood pressure in their lungs. Repairing a VSD with surgery usually restores the blood circulation to normal. The long-term outlook is good, but he will require long-term follow up.”
“Grace, he’ll be okay,” said Dirk, leaning over and squeezing her hand. She was grateful to him. And she was seeing another side to him.
“We won’t be proceeding until Finn is stronger. We’ll take it a day at a time. I believe you’re being discharged today. And visiting will continue to be restricted to just immediate family. It minimises the risk of infection, so we ask you to please adhere to it.”
“Of course,” said Dirk. “Although I’m finding it difficult to keep my mother away.”
“There is a God,” Grace muttered under her breath.
“I heard that,” said Dirk, smiling. The doctor grinned.
“If you have any questions I’m around, just ask.”
“Thank you, Doctor,” said Dirk.
Kate called to Rose Cottage, hoping to see Richard. She had been so busy rushing between the office and the hospital that she hadn’t had time to see Richard. Stupidly she hadn’t asked for his cell number. There was no sign of his hired car but Sophia’s was there along with Eoghan’s. She got out of her car and was about to knock when Sophia opened the door.
“There’s coffee in the pot,” said Eoghan, from where he was sitting at the counter.
“Great. I’d murder one,” she said, sitting on the stool beside him. She looked around hoping to find evidence that he was here, which was pointless because his car wasn’t. So she asked, “Sophia, is Richard here?” She could see a strange look pass between her and Eoghan.
“No,” said Sophia.
“Is Richard coming back?” asked Eoghan.
Kate was confused.
“Not that I’ve heard,” said Sophia
“Oh …” It was then that the penny dropped. With all the panic nobody had asked how she had managed to come back so quickly. So she hadn’t had to lie. But surely Sophia knew. Obviously not.
Sophia continued, “I spoke to him yesterday and he never mentioned that he was planning to visit.”
“I thought I saw his jacket, my mistake.” Both Sophia and Eoghan looked around. “Don’t mind me, I’m just jet-lagged.”
“Don’t go filing today or we’ll never find them again,” laughed Eoghan. “Anyway I’m glad Gracey is getting out today …”
“But Eoghan, she’ll be devastated having to leave little Finn. Dirk has been wonderful.”
“I agree,” said Kate, “and I’m not his biggest fan.”
“Well I just hope she doesn’t take him back,” said Eoghan firmly. “He’s not good enough for her. I never had much time for him.”
Sophia and Kate looked at one another. It was so unlike Eoghan to make such a comment. “I’m just saying.” He took a sip from his mug as if to say that was the end of the conversation.
Six weeks later Grace was exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally. It was two in the morning. She was lying awake in bed in a hostel connected to the hospital in Dublin. Finn was scheduled to be operated on in the morning. Hopefully a catheter procedure was all that was required. If not, the surgeon would have to proceed immediately with open-heart surgery. Grace was trying desperately to stay positive. Dirk was staying in a hotel across the road. He was proving to be a great support but she was surer now than ever that she didn’t have any feelings for him in that way.
From the first moment she saw Jack again, the truth was that she could never love anyone the way she loved him. She thought of him every single day. What was he doing? When he had kissed her had he realised what a big mistake he’d made? Was it the reason he had gone back to his wife in Dubai? She turned and gathered a pillow, clutching it in an effort to fill the physical void she felt inside. “Please God in Heaven, keep my little Finn safe. He is my world and all that matters,” she prayed. Eventually she slept.
Sophia sat in Molly’s kitchen waiting for the phone call from Grace. The doorbell rang. Molly got up to answer it.
“Come in, Jessie.”
“Any word yet?”
“Nothing yet,” said Molly, going to the kettle.
Jessie sat down. Sophia heard the front door open. It was Kate calling from the hall.
“Any news?”
“None,” said Molly, setting out mugs as Kate joined them.
The front door opened again, this time it was Lauren. “Well?” she asked.
“Nothing.”
She sat down and so it continued as more of the family arrived until there was no more room left in the kitchen. All of Grace’s brothers and sisters were now waiting and Eoghan was there too. Grace hadn’t wanted anybody to travel with her. She had said that she and Dirk would go together. It wouldn’t be fair to swamp him with her family. So not by any pre-arrangement they all arrived at Molly’s house around the time the operation was scheduled for.
Sophia was overcome by emotion. She could see the pure love and care that these people had for one another, not a soppy love, just a sense of family and of what family was about. The phone rang.
“Grace …” said Molly
There was complete silence as Sophia watched Molly’s face. Molly listened intently. It was like they had all taken a joint intake of breath.
“Oh Gracey … That’s wonderful.”
The relief was palpable. Whatever it was, it was good news. There was a cheer from some of the men. Molly explained that everybody had come along to wait for the news at her house and that was why there was so much noise.
“Shush everybody, Grace says to say thank you to you all, and that little Finn is going to be fine. They were able to fix his little heart with you know that cat-a-thingy so he’s going to be just fine.”
This time everybody cheered.