So, how’s everybody?” Sophia asked as Richard brought the suitcases in from the car.
“Do you have a couple of hours?” Grace replied, smiling. “I’ll start with my news, Finn has regular check-ups and the doctors are very pleased with his progress. It’s hard to believe he’s nine months already. And Jack is home for Christmas, he’ll be back shortly. He’s picking Finn up from Dirk. He and Abdul have taken on another partner so he still commutes but he’s in Europe more often. It’s not ideal but we’re getting there.”
“My goodness that all sounds … very civilised.”
“Dirk’s happy I’m in a relationship because … guess what … he’s getting married. I wanted to save the news to see the look on your face.”
“OMG, to the French girl?”
Grace nodded. “Sophia, I couldn’t be happier for him because … even better, he’s offered to buy my share of the house. Alleluia,” said Grace, doing a twirl around the kitchen. Sophia and Richard laughed. “And I’m busy with Ireland for Real. Cel Cruise, the company Kate secured for us, will arrive here in April for the first time.”
“Speaking of Kate, how is she?” Richard asked quickly.
Grace exchanged a knowing look with Sophia as Richard busied himself fiddling with the sugar bowl. “Great, she’s in the middle of an art course in Dublin. She intends to study art therapy next.”
“I wondered … is she around?” He continued playing with the sugar bowl.
“I’m not sure, you know Kate, she’s a wander-luster.”
“A what?”
“That’s what I call her. The wander-luster, she comes and goes as she pleases. I suppose you Americans would call it a free spirit.”
Sophia spluttered and intervened. “How’s Jessie?”
“Oh Sophia, we are working on a project together.”
“Really?” Sophia perked up. “What kind of project?”
“Jessie and Geoff are planning to build self-catering holiday houses down by the lake around the old barn. It will be for tourists, but she plans to offer a range of speciality weekends of all kinds. Anything from art and craft classes to angel therapy. Where would Jessie be without the angels?”
Sophia was intrigued. Maybe they would allow her to become involved. This might be the something that she had been looking for. “They have helped me along my way too.”
“I’ve never heard you talk about angels.” Richard looked at her quizzically.
“There are many things I don’t talk about, Richard. Does she have any plans drawn up?”
“As a matter of fact, the architect has promised to have them to her before Christmas.”
“I can hear Jack’s jeep,” said Sophia, getting up. “I’m just dying to see the little man.” She opened the front door and rushed across the drive, bending down to where Finn sat in the carry-tot Jack had just taken from the jeep. “Hello, my little cutie.”
“I knew you were fond of me but not in front of you know who …” laughed Jack, nodding in Grace’s direction where she stood in the doorway, laughing.
“You’re a rascal, Jack Leslie,” laughed Sophia, and then she kissed him on either cheek. “It’s good to see you again. Come and meet my son Richard.”
“Hi, Richard, it’s nice to meet you again,” said Jack, stretching out his hand.
“Likewise. We’re gonna crowd you guys out a bit. Maybe I should check in somewhere in town,” said Richard, shaking hands.
“No way, mate. We’re all set up here!” Jack replied.
Later, Sophia held Finn in her arms as Grace poured some wine for her. She was trying to listen in on Jack and Richard’s conversation. She just didn’t want Kate to be hurt again. They were talking about New York. Jack said it was the best city in the world. He was telling Richard about how he and Kate could spend hours talking about it. “I’m surprised she didn’t get a holiday visa years ago and spend some time living there. I suppose that’s life, that’s the way it goes.”
“Is she around?”
“Yep,” said Jack, finishing his beer bottle. “Want another beer?”
Richard smiled. “Sure.” Grace was pleased they were getting on well. Jack had suggested staying at his mother’s while they were here but she had firmly told him no way unless he wanted her and Finn in his mother’s with him.
“Girls, come on over and join us,” said Jack, taking two beers from the fridge.
“I’ll just make up a bowl of nibbles,” said Grace, as Sophia carried Finn into the living room, still cooing and beaming at him.
“Hi Jessie, I thought I heard your voice,” said Sophia, coming downstairs the following morning.
“I just dropped around to say welcome back,” said Jessie as Sophia kissed her on the cheek while Grace put another mug on the counter.
“I miss this when I’m in New York – popping over to one another’s houses for coffee. So Jessie, Grace told me about your project. Sounds like a great idea.”
“We hope to apply for planning soon. We’ve got so many ideas. And with Grace’s marketing head, I feel we can create something really positive for the area.”
“And please God and the angels that Jessie’s Angel will win at the races on St. Stephen’s Day because Geoff and Jack have offered to put the winnings towards it,” said Grace, beaming.
“You are crazy ladies,” laughed Sophia, and looking towards Jessie she added, “I can’t believe that Grace is talking about angels.”
“Sure I hang around with you two. Eventually it had to rub off,” laughed Grace.
“But seriously girls, you can’t be pinning hopes on a horse.”
“No that’s just one iron in the fire. We’re working on a business plan. As you know, Jessie owns the land and buildings so that’s a real benefit.”
“And Grace has finished a first draft of a novel.”
“My goodness, you never said. Well done you,” said Sophia.
“It’s still in a raw state but I loved the experience. Of course Jess is very excited about it. But … well, what would I know about writing …”
“Give it to Sophia to read, ah please Gracey. Wouldn’t it be nice to get another opinion since you think mine is so biased,” pleaded Jess and then she added, “Sophia, I talked about the babies and how I felt. Losing the babies made me challenge myself in ways that I never thought possible. You and I often talked about ‘the meaning of it all’. I wasn’t like that before. I never had it hard. I was so dammed lucky I didn’t even know it. Nothing was a challenge. I met Geoff and fell in love, married young. We travelled the world together, came home. Settled down, had Sam. Hey, happy days. There was therapy in being able to talk to Grace about everything and the rest was our friend Gracey’s vivid imagination.”
As Sophia listened it struck her how much these two friends gave to one another unconditionally. Theirs was true friendship, unselfish and inclusive.
“Can I read it?” Sophia asked.
“Ah, Sophia, I’m nervous about giving it to you. It’s not that I don’t want you to read it but there’s a fair amount of heartbreak and loss it in and I don’t want to upset you.”
“Grace that is what life is all about. Did you ever hear the story about the woman who begged Buddha to bring her young son back to life?” Jessie and Grace looked at her intrigued as she continued. “He told her to knock on all the doors in the village and ask if any of them had not suffered from loss. Needless to say the woman did not find one. We have all lost someone we love and if we haven’t yet, we are going to. Awful as that may sound!”
“Sophia, you really know how to liven up a conversation,” muttered Jessie. “There’s your answer, Grace. Give Sophia your book.”
Sophie burst out laughing at Jessie.
“In that case, I would be honoured if you read it,” said Grace.
“By the way, what’s it called?”
“It’s called ‘After It All.’”
“Odd choice.” Sophia looked quizzically from one to the other.
“Sure, we’re odd people.”
Grace had uploaded the book to her tablet and Sophia had read it through the night. It was seven o’clock in the morning. Sophia went downstairs and boiled the kettle. Taking a cup of peppermint tea in her hand and with her dressing gown wrapped tightly around her, she walked to the red gate at the end of the garden. She hadn’t accounted for the morning dew. Her slippers were soaking but they didn’t bother her. She stood looking out to sea. The sun was just beginning to rise and the light glistened across the water as tears trickled down her cheeks.
The novel dealt with loss through death and separation, and the ensuing grief. But more importantly Grace had managed to make the characters believable. It had left her feeling inspired and uplifted.
Sophia thought of her little grandson Billy and his beautiful mother Heather, and then of her beloved Bill. She treasured them with all her heart. She was richer for having had them in her life. It was time. She had to move on, push forward until it was her turn to go. And there was nothing surer, that day would come. Until then she was going to cherish every moment. Europe, here I come. She was going with new friends who strangely felt like old ones. How could that be? A chance meeting on an aeroplane had changed everything for all of them.
“This book is going to be published,” she said, aloud.
Grace looked out the kitchen window. Sophia was outside in her dressing gown. She opened the back door. “Come in or you’ll have your death end.”
“I don’t even know what that means,” smiled Sophia, walking back up the path.
“It means you’ll get the flu. I’ve just boiled the kettle but I see you’ve had one already. I’m off to Jessie’s for a hack.”
“Can I come too, but I’d also love to see the site.”
“Of course. I’ll pop some toast on while you go change.”
At the site Sophia became more excited. As she walked around, she wondered how they’d feel if she were to become involved. She thought about Fay and how Colleen had said she’d love to visit Ireland. Imagine if Jessie’s place offered holidays to families whose children had dyspraxia. They could meet others from all over the world and share their experiences. There could be fun activities planned for the kids and information talks for parents along with relaxation therapies.
Just listening to Jessie was fun. She was brimming with ideas that were all very viable. She talked about growing vegetables and a herb garden, with an emphasis on teaching adults and kids gardening and cooking. There was space to develop an adventure park. She could suggest that some of the equipment could take into consideration children with coordination problems. Oh, but there was so much she’d like to contribute too. If it took off she could visualise log cabins dotted around and even an area for camping or caravanning. She was apprehensive about asking, especially because Jessie didn’t know how wealthy she was. Richard was right. She shouldn’t feel she had to hide things from her friends, but it would sound extremely arrogant of her to say, “Oh by the way, I forgot to mention I’m a multi-millionaire.”
“Do you have any serious ideas about how you plan to fund it?” asked Sophia.
“Geoff and I hope to apply for European funding to develop a tourism product mixed with agriculture, equestrian and horticulture. Also the training programmes that we will offer will be open to the local community too. If it takes off, we’d love to have a coffee shop using local produce and displaying local art and craft. And even the possibilities of renting out workshop space for artists, and craftspeople to work and sell from here.”
“How did that idea come about?”
“When we spoke to the Enterprise people, one of them mentioned our proximity to the main route from Rosslare to Kerry. There is a significant passing trade. It wasn’t something we had considered before. But it could make the place more sustainable year round. Also crafts people could hold workshops or summer schools.”
“Wow!” said Sophia. She was relieved that they had certainly researched.
“Also one evening while I was out walking I met some young girls from Holland. They were lost and looking for directions. I walked them back to where they were staying in a big old house with a beautiful garden. They told me they were staying there free in return for weeding the elderly owner’s large garden. What a great idea! A working holiday with an opportunity to learn English and volunteer in some capacity for your keep.”
“So it’s becoming more than a training centre. Each day you seem to add thoughts and ideas,” said Sophia as she took in the size of the half empty barn. Geoff had big round straw bales stacked neatly on one side. “I’m imagining barn dances, parties or even weddings,” said Sophia.
“That’s another great idea. It’s awful really, Sophia. Every time I come down here I get carried away with myself. There are endless possibilities.”
“I think that a place like this could be great for children with learning differences. You could host summer schools. I have a particular interest in a condition called dyspraxia,” said Sophia, hoping it might be something the girls would consider.
“Oh my God, wouldn’t that be great. Maybe other associations or charities might want to use it for their weekend breaks too,” said Grace.
“I also have some friends involved in psychology and they hold events and are always looking for the right kind of venue,” Sophia continued.
“Those are exactly the kinds of things I want to happen here. I want it to be a place of peace, creativity and fun. Learning mixed with lightness. Oh am I mad?” said Jessie, swinging her hands around. “It all means so much to me. It will take years to do all that I dream of and it will have to sustain itself enough for us to make a living and pay back the borrowings.”
“What will you call it?” asked Sophia.
“Butterfly Barn,” Grace and Jessie chorused and Sophia laughed at their enthusiasm.
“How do you feel about having an investor?”
“Who?” asked Jessie, looking confused, but Sophia noticed Grace smiling broadly at her.
“Me.”
“Oh my God, Sophia, would you really consider investing in it?” said Jessie, just as Geoff’s tractor arrived into the courtyard.
“Absolutely!”
“Did you hear that guys? Sophia would like to invest in Butterfly Barn.”
“It’s a deal,” called Sam, as he climbed down from the tractor cabin. “Coz my mom has no money and big dreams.”
“Now who did he hear that from?” laughed Jessie, looking towards Geoff, who pretended to look behind.
“I’ve no idea,” he answered, grinning from ear to ear.
Sophia shook hands with Sam and tousled his curly red hair.
“You’re like the three musketeers, all for one and one for all,” he said, running over to where his mother had said was a good place to build therapy rooms. “Sophia, the puncture person can go here and the reflex person here and …” He jumped from one spot to the next.
“Come on, Sammy boy,” laughed Geoff, “I’m dying for a coffee.”
“Why the name Butterfly Barn?” asked Sophia as they strolled back along the lane towards the house.
“Well there’s a barn and to me a butterfly signifies change. It breaks out of its chrysalis to become something colourful, beautiful and free and just like my babies, butterflies have a short life span. And although their leaving brought me great sadness, Anthony and Geoff’s presence in this world has brought our family on a journey we would never have experienced. They have opened my mind and my heart and shown me the true goodness of the people around us. Now tell me about … dyspraxia, I’ve never heard of it?” asked Jessie.
Sophia felt a lump form in her throat as she began to share with her two new friends the learning challenges her beautiful grandson had struggled with.
“Okay, Grace, what’s the problem?” Sophia asked, putting her pottery mug down on Jessie’s butcher block table. “Why can’t it be published?”
“Because Sophia, in case you have somehow forgotten, I AM NOT A WRITER.”
“What is that supposed to mean? Speak English, for God’s sake you wrote a book and now you’re talking crap.”
“Sophia, how very unbecoming of you – using language like that,” laughed Jessie.
“She is making me cross,” declared Sophia.
“And you are making me feel about two years old,” Grace retorted.
“Will the two of you give it up?” Jessie said, getting up to cut some ginger cake and placing it in front of them. “Eat!”
Sophia and Grace laughed.
But within seconds, Sophia resumed. “What is wrong with you, Grace?”
“You’re making in all sound so real, and that it is possible.”
Sophia looked at Jessie. “What do you think?”
“You’re scaring the daylights out of me too.”
“I can’t believe we are having this conversation and that you both have such a low value of your abilities. Grace, you wrote a book. And Jessie, don’t you figure it’s a bit selfish not to share what you have learnt?”
“Ouch!” said Grace. “I felt that – did you, Jessie? She’s changing her plan of attack.”
“If she doesn’t get us one way, she’s trying another.” Jessie laughed.
“Okay Sophia, you are the expert when it comes to publishing. If you really think it can be done …” Grace paused, looking at Jessie to gauge a reaction.
Jessie shrugged her shoulders and said, “Why not try, Gracey! You wrote a good story. And I think that it’s only the beginning for you.”
“Girls, I want you to feel comfortable,” said Sophia, sipping her coffee.
“Hang on a second … what’s this about you and publishing, Sophia?” asked Jessie, frowning.
“Oh, it’s just Sophia used to work as a journalist so she’d have some contacts. That’s all I meant,” said Grace, getting up to pour more tea and feeling awful for lying.
Sophia just smiled. “A long time ago, but there might be someone I know who can help.”
Kate drove up the pebbled avenue to Rose Cottage. There was a Mercedes in the drive.
“Great, my friend Sophia from New York is here, you’ll get to meet her,” she said to Philly, her friend since the first day of art college, but it had become a little more recently. He was fun. Jessie thought he was cute. Grace had thrown her eyes to heaven and called him “Eye candy”.
They got out and had begun to walk across the pebbles when the front door opened. She stopped in her tracks and stared in amazement at Richard. He was clearly as shocked as she was.
“Hi,” he said, looking from her to Philly in a questioning way.
“Hi. I thought … I didn’t know …”
“They’re not here.”
“I’ll call back later. Bye.”
But Richard had already turned away and was walking towards the garden gate which led to the beach. She got back into the car.
“Who’s yer man?” Philly asked.
“Ah, nobody,” she replied, trying to reverse as fast as she could. She was so upset she could hardly speak.
Later that evening, Grace, Jack, Sophia, Richard and Geoff sat around Jessie’s dining-room table as Jessie began to clear the plates. Richard got up to help and followed her to the kitchen. “Jessie, I heard about your plan.”
She looked at him in amazement. “You did!”
“I think your idea for a holiday retreat – I suppose that’s what you’d call it – is a good one. When you get it up and running I can advertise it in the States, if you’d like.”
“Are you for real? I thought you worked for a fashion magazine …”
“I know a few people. You know how it is. I can see what I can do.”
His mother would kill him if he told her the array of magazines they owned. Evading, he added, “I think grief touches everybody at some stage in life and information on some of the wonderful therapies available has to reach ordinary people like you and me.”
He knew by the look on her face that she was dying to ask more questions but was holding herself back. “Create a website where people can view the holiday homes and the range of weekends available. Talk to the experts and associations and get them to link to your site. Now I need a beer. And I also want to know if Grace’s sister is in love with that teenager?”
Jessie burst out laughing. “Here’s the beer, and no, she’s not. I’ll let you in on a little secret.” He leaned towards her. “She’s in love with you but if you tell anybody I told you, I will murder you myself. Get your finger out, Richard. Both of your lives are passing you by. Now get that into you. Tomorrow is a new day.”
The next morning Kate parked her car at the far end of the beach and began to walk along the seashore. It was only seven-thirty in the morning. She couldn’t sleep. She hadn’t been able to function properly since she had seen Richard yesterday. She had music playing in her ears to drown out the thoughts exploding in her head. What was she going to do? Never one to deliberate, she was more of an impulsive person. Why had she put that bloody song on her playlist? There was a lot to answer for being friends with Jessie McGrath; she smiled. But she listened to every word while looking out to sea towards Everest Rock. When it was over she muttered, “You know what Barbra, you are right. I will ‘Tell him’ – what have I got to lose? I’ll know once and for all.”
She started to run in case she’d change her mind. She ran to the sounds of the pebbles and sea shells crunching under her feet. She reached the red cast-iron garden gate and flung it open. Knocking on the French doors, she could see Grace having breakfast with Finn and Jack, who got up to open the door.
“I know we like having visitors but …” he laughed, pretending to look at his watch.
“Is he up yet?” she asked Grace, ignoring him in her fluster.
“How did you know he was here?”
“Long story. Same room?”
Grace nodded and turned to Jack. As she rushed passed them, Kate heard her say, “I’d love to be a fly on that bedroom wall.”
Richard was in bed.
“What the …!”
“Look,” she said. “I am only ever going to say this once.” She took a deep breath. “I love you, you plonker!”
“Only once!” he joked.
“Only once. Okay, I’ll only call you a plonker once. Oh no – that was twice. Ah, what the hell!”
“Come here, you big eejit …” he said, making a miserable attempt at her Irish accent. “I love you, Kate Fitzgerald.”
“I’m a recovered drug addict.”
“I was born out of wedlock.”
“No, I’m serious.”
“So am I and so what!” Then he added, “Kate, I don’t care. We all make mistakes. Show me a perfect human being. If I met one I’d be bored stupid. Now come on, we’re wasting valuable time.”
As she jumped onto the bed, she whispered, “Thank you, Barbra.”
“What did you say?”
“Oh, I just wanted to say thank you.”
“To who?”
“To the world. To everyone. To Sophia for having you”. Then she laughed as she pulled her top off. “Out of wedlock … well who would have thought?”
“You know, you’re a crazy woman. What am I letting myself in for? I know one thing for sure – it won’t be a quiet life.”
“Stop talking and start doing.” She laughed again.
“It’s been a magical Christmas so far,” said Grace, snuggling into Jack who was lying in bed beside her. Sometimes she wanted to pinch herself to check that she wasn’t dreaming. Instead she pinched him.
“Ouch. That hurt!” He yelped.
“You’re such a baby,” she laughed, getting up. “Come on or we’ll be late for the races. We’ve a two-hour drive ahead of us. And you have to help Geoff load up Jessie’s Angel.”
He groaned, turned over and said. “Just give me five more minutes.”
Finn was still asleep. She went to the bathroom and while in the shower she heard the door open and there was Jack. For a fleeting second she thought of Dirk. And then she began to cry.
“What’s the matter, honey?” asked Jack, his voice filled with concern. She stepped out of the shower and wrapped her dressing gown around her and blurted out, “I set the date with Dirk in the shower.”
Jack laughed, wrapping a towel around him. “And that made you cry. It’d make me cry too if I thought I had to marry him.”
“It’s not funny Jack …” But she was smiling through her tears.
“Grace, does this mean that the shower is out of bounds coz you set a date in it? Come here.” He took her in his arms. “We both have a past. That’s life but we have one another now and nothing is going to come between us again. I promise – although it might take me years to get a divorce.”
“Jack, I told you before how I feel about marriage.”
“But I didn’t tell you how I feel about it. I want you to make an honest man of me. I want to be Finn’s legal guardian. I want you both in my life forever. Can you hack that?”
She nodded from where she had sat down on the toilet lid.
“By the way, this is a ridiculous place to be having this conversation.” He laughed, kissing the top of her head as he stepped back into the shower. “Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, I got here before ya.”
“You are such a big baby,” she said, going out to pick up Finn who had begun to wake.
“Richard was so excited about the race he could hardly sleep,” said Kate, from where she sat in the back seat of Sophia’s car.
“I’m glad we’re travelling together because if I had to listen to another word about racing and form and all the other lingo that goes with it, I’d scream,” said Grace.
“So true,” agreed Sophia. “We’re nearly there. Eoghan said he’ll ring when he’s parked. He has Monique and Nora, and even your mother asked if he had room for one more.”
“What? My mother is coming?” said Grace in disbelief. “My father spent so much time in the bookies, she once told him he should move his bed down there. Can you believe it, Kate?”
“It’s gas that she didn’t tell us.”
“She’s a star for making the effort. There’s a parking place over there, Soph,” said Grace.
“Perfect,” said Sophia, gliding the car in comfortably. Richard had travelled with Jack to help, making it the first time in three days that Kate had been apart from him. Grace looked towards her sister and smiled. She was already on her mobile asking Richard where exactly they were. Kate was positively glowing. Grace wondered would they become like her and Jack – a long distance relationship? But it didn’t matter; as long as he was “the one” everything was possible. With the crowds flooding into the place, Grace was thankful that Dirk had taken Finn for the day. She was glad they were finding their way. She and Dirk still had their moments, but it was important to her that Finn would always have a relationship with his father. And thankfully she liked his fiancée.
Sophia came up beside her and linked her as they walked along. “I’m so happy,” she whispered, nodding in Kate’s direction. “It’s been the best Christmas is a long time.”
“Absolutely.”
“Hey, girls, over here,” called Jessie from where Jack had arranged seats for all of them on the pavilion.
“Dad couldn’t sleep a wink last night,” said Sam, obviously repeating what Geoff had said.
“He wasn’t the only one. It’s so exciting,” said Grace. “Here’s Eoghan and the rest of the gang.”
Sam ran over repeating his line. And then he spotted his grandparents and ran towards them.
“You know win, lose or draw, this is a great day,” Jessie whispered to Grace as they both sat down. “Just take a look around. Everybody came to support us, even your mother who is so anti-gambling.”
“Jess?”
“Mmm …”
“I think your babies, Anthony and Geoff are here too.”
Jess placed her hand over Grace’s and smiled. “Thanks for saying that because I feel them around me every day of my life.”
Grace’s eyes filled with tears as she said, “I think they will help us make Butterfly Barn come true.”
THE END