Chapter Eighteen

AS SUNLIGHT PEEKED in through the window, landing on Julian’s face, he reached to rub his eyes, to cover them up. It couldn’t be 5:30 already. He didn’t hear his telltale alarm, so it definitely wouldn’t have been. But then he realized if the sun was up, it had to be 5:30. Or later. He squinted his eyes open. He was sitting up, kind of. And halfway on him was someone, someone warm, his arm draped around them. He didn’t have to look to know it was Cole.

Julian didn’t remember falling asleep here the night before. He didn’t remember the moment his eyes started to get tired, if Cole had suggested he stay or if he’d put his arm around Cole when they were both awake. He didn’t think so. What he did remember was that they’d eaten—chocolate cake, actually—and they’d moved from Shaun of the Dead straight into Hot Fuzz, because they were part of a trilogy for a reason. He knew they didn’t make it to The World’s End, but did it matter? They both agreed that was their least favorite of the trilogy. They’d discussed it the night before.

He shifted slightly. Where was Sprinkles? God, had she done something awful? Had she made a mess in his house? She wasn’t in her crate, which probably meant she’d done something horrible, peed on Cole’s rug or something. She was crated for a reason, kept a strict routine to avoid any morning messes that might occur. Molly had been adamant about keeping her in a kennel overnight, and God, when he didn’t… The thought of that happening to Cole’s floor was a nightmare. But no, as he looked around, he found her curled up next to Bruiser, tucked up against one of his giant paws. They were both sleeping soundly.

Julian felt…awkward. Because he so didn’t remember whether they’d discussed him staying. He only knew they’d decided to turn on the second movie. He knew he’d yawned, considered driving home, and Cole had laughed and said, “Come on, only one more.”

He’d said…what? “But there’s two more in the trilogy. Shouldn’t we save that one for next time?” So, he had tried to go home.

“We can skip World’s End for next time, right?” Cole had offered. “It’s not even as good.”

“Ugh, you’re right. I waited so long for that one and it was disappointing!”

“I mean, you don’t have to stick around. We can always watch it another time,” Cole had said, but Julian had agreed anyway, stayed anyway, and…they’d sat on the couch, right? Turned it on? When Cole sat down, he’d sat closer to Julian, but not close. Who fell asleep first? Julian didn’t know. He just knew he was tired, and he wondered if he’d be awake enough to drive, and he remembered thinking he might have to swing by a drive-through for coffee.

Then he was here, waking up on Cole’s couch, asleep next to him.

This was awkward, wasn’t it? Or maybe it wasn’t? They’d talked a lot last night, but he still didn’t know where they stood. They were friends, sure. Friends who made dog treats together who became friends who watched movies together. But he didn’t think they were friends who slept on a couch together, and for that, he kind of felt like he needed to leave.

Did he leave before waking Cole up or not? Was he supposed to wake him up, take some dog treats home with him? Or was he supposed to just…slip out and act like he’d gone home the night before, like this never happened? Maybe that was the right answer. That was probably the right answer. Because God knows, Julian felt so strangely about this whole situation.

He’d never done this before. No, not awkward, overwhelmed Julian, too anxiety-ridden to accidentally crash on someone’s couch while holding them. Because Julian, for as much as he knew what he liked, had never had the confidence to actually do anything about it. Not in a serious way. He’d hooked up once or twice, usually at someone else initiating, or via a phone app where the goal and ultimate conclusion of what was happening was clear. But with actual feelings involved? No. Never.

So, he didn’t know what this was.

Or if it was anything.

Because they were friends. Only friends.

Julian was making this more awkward than it needed to be. Cole didn’t need to see his internal debate about what happened the night before, how close they’d gotten before he dozed off; Julian needed to go. Because honestly, he should have left last night, when the movie ended. He stood up, slipping out carefully from under Cole’s warm body, then laid Cole down and draped a blanket from the back of the couch over him. He watched for any sign of him waking up, but nothing said he was going to. Cole didn’t even stir.

Julian stepped as quietly as he could to the hooks by the door, where Cole had placed Sprinkles’s leash. The creaks in the floor betrayed him. Why was it always when he wanted to be quiet that he was the loudest? As he walked closer to Sprinkles, whispering her name, she looked up at him and let out a low growl. She was quite content where she was, apparently, next to Bruiser, warm and peaceful.

“We have to go,” Julian whispered. “Come on, Sprink.”

Nothing.

“Sprinkles,” he urged quietly. “Let’s go.”

She didn’t move.

So, he stepped closer, reaching his hand in for her collar. This time, Bruiser let out a menacing growl, teeth visible. Well, shit. He’d never seen Bruiser look mean before. Julian stepped back and watched the two of them. Then, he remembered they’d made treats. He went to the counter, grabbed one, and broke it in half just like Cole had the night before. He wasn’t above bribery.

Bruiser ignored it, paw staying draped over Sprinkles.

But Sprinkles wriggled out and nuzzled her way toward the treat. She snagged it in her teeth. Just before she could race back to Bruiser, Julian grabbed her. He hooked her collar on and carried her out of the door, closing it quietly behind him. “Good girl,” he breathed. “Good, good girl.”

*

COLE DIDN’T TEXT him. That should have been the first indication that whatever happened between them was weird. After all, had Cole texted him, he would have known things were good between them, right? But no. Cole didn’t say anything.

And Julian didn’t feel like he could be the one to text first. What would he say?

“I had a great time, sorry I fell asleep on your couch and then snuck out the next morning so you wouldn’t know?” Of course not.

“Thanks for making dog treats with me. I know I didn’t take any home, but it’s because I felt really awkward that we both fell asleep watching a movie and I snuck out so I wouldn’t wake you?” No. That was equally weird.

“Cole, I like you, and I’ve dropped a ton of hints about it, but I’m not sure if the blue and green and white magnet on your fridge means you’re gay or just means you like those colors, and I’m afraid to ask. Do you want to get coffee sometime?” Abso-freaking-lutely not.

How Julian had gotten to the age he was, had managed to survive twenty-nine years of life without making a total fool of himself, he wasn’t sure. Somehow, he had. But maybe these sorts of things were why Molly—younger than him, smarter than him, more successful than him—had her shit sorted out and he was…homeless? Jobless? Unsure how to ask a guy out for more than just anonymous app sex?

Yeah. Something like that.

So, Julian did what any normal human being would do in this situation. He got Sprinkles ready to go to the dog park…then drove across town to one they’d never been to before. He knew better than to take her to the one she’d hated to begin with. But he also couldn’t go to their usual one. He couldn’t face Cole. Not when Cole hadn’t texted and probably thought he was crazy.

Sprinkles didn’t get out of the car when he opened the door for her. He lifted her out of the seat, lowered her to the ground, and waited for her to walk to the gate. She refused.

“Sprinkles, listen. You just have to trust me, okay? I can’t go to the other one.” Sprinkles sat, staring at the gate instead of going in. Julian sighed. “You’ll get used to this one, baby girl. I promise.”

Because what else could he do but promise her that? How else could they get through this? He picked her up, carried her through the gate, and took her in. There weren’t any dogs around, which was a good thing. There were no big, scary, non-Bruiser large breeds that could potentially eat her or break her. He put her down, unhooked her leash, and watched her sit down. She looked up at him. She was definitely protesting.

“’Kay, I get it, Sprink. You hate this park. But you know what? I don’t want to go to the other park. I don’t want to see Cole right now.”

Sprinkles was unimpressed with his pleas. But Julian didn’t care. He parked his butt on the bench. Today, dog park time was happening here, and Sprinkles would just have to deal with it.