Chapter Twenty-Eight

“SPRINKLES, WE HAVE to get some things done today.” Julian woke up two days later, more determined than ever to get his life back on track. He still hadn’t heard from Molly, but that wasn’t the point. She was in France, doing her job, and he had to assume if she was anywhere else, there was a reason she hadn’t told him as much. So, he pulled Sprinkles into his lap and pulled out a piece of paper.

1. Find an apartment.

2. Sign a lease on said apartment.

3. Figure out how to apologize to Cole.

4. Win Cole back???

5. Find Molly.

He was sure he had more to do there. Finding a job, for one, but those were really the pressing issues at hand. Apartment, Cole maybe, Molly definitely. “Okay. Let’s…let’s figure this out.” The first step was the apartment. Unfortunately, that went faster than expected. Calling the leasing office brought him to the apartment, with Sprinkles safely at home in her crate. He wasn’t risking doggy disaster 2.0 by bringing her along, especially when this apartment’s website very clearly specified “No Pets.”

Still, he found himself asking. “And the no pet rule…that’s a firm rule here?”

“Yes. We pride ourselves on providing luxury, and we don’t feel that’s something we can provide if there’s a lot of noise from barking animals, or…or waste outside on the lawn.”

Julian wanted to say something to counter this, to defend the fact that Sprinkles was a very quiet dog most of the time, or to point out that responsible owners were capable of picking up their dog’s waste, but then he realized something: Sprinkles wasn’t his. In four short days, he’d be saying goodbye to Sprinkles and leaving her back in Molly’s care. And in four days, he wouldn’t have a dog. Or a home. It was time to give up on that and sign the lease. “Great, you’re right. I’m just confirming that I won’t have to deal with those things.”

A pang of loss shot through Julian, but he shoved it aside right up until the lease paper signing. This apartment was the dream: well in his price range, in a neighborhood he could learn to love, and with several offices hiring on the same block. He was sure to find the right fit and get his life back in order immediately if he signed on to this particular apartment, and he wasn’t about to let a dog get in his way of that.

“Great. So we’ll see you Monday to get you those keys and get you all moved in.” The leasing agent was friendly, confident, and kind. She radiated an energy of peace and tranquility. He envied the way someone could be so at ease without any sort of comfort animal in their life, then realized how ironic it was that he felt more at peace now he had an animal in his life than he’d ever felt before. He’d never wanted that companionship before, not to that level. And now, he was signing away his ability to have it.

“See you Monday,” he agreed, and as he walked out of the building and turned back to look at the apartments he’d just signed on to, paid the deposit for, application safely filed from the last apartment he’d applied for under the same ownership, he realized this was the step forward he needed.

When he got home, he crossed out anything to do with Cole from his list. He needed a fresh start. No dog, no Cole, no reminders of the past month of his life. This was a temporary setback from who he really was: a man on a mission to get his work done and move forward with his life.

*

ONE OF THE things Julian had anticipated when he agreed to watch Sprinkles was that he’d be counting down the days until Molly came home to take the responsibility back off him. Instead, with only three days until her planned return date, he found himself hoping that somehow, she’d end up delayed.

As Sprinkles laid in his lap, sound asleep as a movie played in front of him, he noticed he was watching her more than the movie. The subtle rise and fall of her chest, the way she sniffled a little bit every once in a while, and the way she’d nuzzle closer when she started to get cold. “I don’t want to leave you,” he said quietly, and Sprinkles opened her eyes to give him a slow, steady blink before licking his hand and curling up tighter. He closed his eyes, tuning out the movie, and thought about whether he’d made a mistake by getting an apartment that didn’t allow pets.

He pushed the thought aside again when he realized that even if they did, none of those pets were Sprinkles. He knew already the bond might not be the same. He liked having a dog because he liked Sprinkles herself, specifically. Another dog might not fill the same hole. Maybe, just maybe, the apartment’s policy was a good Band-Aid rip moment so he wouldn’t even try to replace Sprinkles in his life.

But as he dozed off on the couch, he struggled with the idea of a goodbye. For now, half of his day was filled with letting Sprinkles in and out, walking her, bathing her, taking her to play. She’d even started to get used to the other dog park since he couldn’t bear to face Cole at the first one. He and Sprinkles were intertwined, their lives crossing in the strangest way with Molly gone for the time being. No dog would be able to replace Sprinkles in his life, and Julian decided not to even try.

When he woke up the next morning, with Sprinkles on his chest and his leg hanging off the couch, he realized he hadn’t bothered to go to bed at all. He also noticed it was well past the time Molly had set for him and Sprinkles to wake up each day. Still, Sprinkles kept snoozing, tucked under his arm gently. “Did you adapt to her schedule or did she adapt to yours?” he asked Sprinkles gently, nudging her awake to carry her outside.

To him, it had become evident. Molly’s strict schedule, the intense rules on how they were supposed to get along, only made sense to fit Molly’s lifestyle and career. Without that, Sprinkles just…existed, adapting to Julian’s life. He’d recently found a part of himself worrying that if he got a dog, the dog wouldn’t fit in his world. Now, he thought maybe it was about finding the dog that was willing to fit. Or could fit. Sprinkles fit. But then, Sprinkles was easy, one incident aside.

Sprinkles had learned to fit the life he led. And if Sprinkles could, well…maybe there was hope for another dog. After his lease was up, at least.