As they walked from the parking lot to the restaurant, Wynn was having a hard time erasing the vision of Carly she’d seen earlier. Having impure thoughts about her sister’s wife was completely wrong and had to stop. She’d seen Carly in a towel before, but usually she wore a bathing suit underneath it. She’d never glimpsed her directly out of the shower looking so radiant. Sweet Lord, she was a sight. Cheeks flushed, hair wet, tanned legs peeking out from beneath the edge, not to mention the milky-white breasts exploding from the top of the tightly wrapped towel.
She stepped in front of Carly and opened the door for her. “Isn’t this the restaurant where Suzanna holds most of her fund-raisers?” A jolt coursed through her as she placed her palm on Carly’s lower back to guide her inside and felt the soft warmth of skin rather than her dress.
Carly nodded. “It’s always been one of my favorites.”
“Mine, too.” She glanced around the room and took in the romantic ambiance of it all. “It’s casual and friendly, just what I like on a warm summer evening.”
The Embarcadero had plenty of restaurants, but the Waterbar had a great location on the pier, and the food was exceptional. The patio outside offered a beautiful view of the San Francisco Bay Bridge. Wynn could relax there and enjoy the view and then stroll on the harbor afterward to enjoy the fresh sea air. Considering the day she’d had, she welcomed the serenity.
She held the door open for Carly and then stepped inside after her. “Shall we wait at the bar until Jordan joins us?”
“No. Who knows what time she’ll get here. Let’s just go to the table.” Carly followed the hostess to their spot by the window that looked out to the patio.
Wynn was glad Carly hadn’t wanted to eat on the patio itself, since it was still a bit warm to sit outside. This afternoon, she’d brought along a navy sport jacket and pink button-down shirt, as well as a pair of khaki slacks and loafers just in case Jordan bailed and she ended up having dinner with Carly tonight. Carly had outdressed her with a flower-patterned, cap-sleeved, summer dress that brought out the green in her eyes more than usual. The outfit increased Wynn’s struggle to not stare.
The waitress came to the table and took their drink order. With Carly’s approval, Wynn ordered a bottle of chardonnay.
“We should get an appetizer too.” Carly whispered the words across the table as though it were a secret item other diners weren’t offered.
“Sure. “She raised her eyebrows. “A prawn cocktail? Charcuterie tray?”
“Ooh, those both sound good. I’m not sure I can choose.”
Wynn looked up at the waitress. “We’ll take both and share.”
Carly smiled before she glanced back to the menu, and warmth spread through Wynn. She would do anything for that smile.
They were silent as they perused the dinner selections. Then the waitress arrived with the wine, opened the bottle, and poured a taste in the glass before her. Wynn pushed the glass across the table to Carly, which garnered another smile.
Carly tasted the wine and then nodded to the waitress, who poured them each a glass. “Nice choice.”
As soon as the waitress left, the appetizers arrived, and they both reached for the prawn cocktail. After a bit of an awkward exchange amid soft laughter, Wynn added a few pieces of grilled ciabatta, pancetta, and salami to a plate, while Carly put a prawn on the dish in front of her. Carly handed hers across the table to Wynn, who accepted it and exchanged it for the one she’d prepared. They seemed to move in perfect sync and then enjoyed the appetizers in silence until the waitress appeared again.
“Are you ready to order?”
“Should we wait or order for Jordan?” She deferred to Carly. “Did she give you any indication when she’d be arriving?”
“Let me check to see her timeline.” Carly took her phone from her purse, frowned, and then typed a message. “It doesn’t look like Jordan is going to make it tonight.” She dropped her phone into her bag.
“We’ll go ahead and order.” She glanced at Carly. “Shall we get a platter or two separates and share?”
Carly hit her again with the smile, and she melted. “Let’s get two separates and share.”
“We’ll have the Alaskan halibut and the spiny lobster.” She raised her eyebrows at Carly, waiting for approval, which she granted with an even broader smile. “And a side of roasted baby carrots.”
“I’m not sure how you did it, but you picked my two favorite dishes.”
“It’s a gift.” She chuckled. “Actually, I have to confess, I’ve seen you eat at Suzanna’s events.”
Carly’s eyebrows flew up. “Seriously?”
“Yes. And I know I’ll have to fight for every bite.”
“Hey.” Carly tossed her napkin across the table at her. “Can I help it if I like food? I’m not that bad.”
“Are you sure about that?” Wynn grinned as she handed the napkin back.
“Fine.” Carly snatched it from her hand. “I’ll give you a five-second lead. You’d better be quick.” The laughter settled, and Wynn watched as Carly looked at the door and disappeared into herself.
“I’m sorry Jordan can’t make it. That’s disappointing.” That was a total lie. Wynn’s lunch with Jordan earlier today had been a horrible insight into their marriage and had made her regret her decision to remove herself form Carly’s life a year ago. She’d come to dinner only because she’d never been able to erase her feelings. She’d locked them away in a confined space of her heart and actively ignored them when they pounded on the door trying to escape. She couldn’t bear the thought of Jordan standing up Carly, which she knew was her plan tonight. Wynn would make the best of it and try to keep Carly’s mind off Jordan in any way she could.
“Imperfect bliss. I’m used to it. One year married to your sister has been full of disappointments like this.” Carly flattened her lips. “Why should our anniversary be any different?”
“Is that today?” She checked the calendar in her head. The date had never really been cemented in her mind since she’d avoided the nuptials, skipping them for an all-inclusive tropical vacation in order to miss the wedding activities altogether. She’d gone completely alone to find enough peace within herself to move on. The distraction had worked to a certain degree, as long as she kept minimal contact, only seeing them at her parents’ home for occasional Sunday dinners and the kids’ birthdays.
Carly nodded as she finished the last bite of pancetta on her plate and pushed it to the side.
“Why are you here with me?” She couldn’t fathom any reasonable explanation that Jordan wouldn’t be here with her wife on their anniversary. Even with the baby subject prominent.
Carly shrugged. “She forgot. Scheduled a dinner meeting. Didn’t want to tell me until I was already here…occupied with you, so I wouldn’t cause a scene.”
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.” Her sister was a complete idiot—had to be to leave this beautiful woman wondering whether she was important in her life.
“I’ve gotten used to it,” Carly said with a sigh, then drew in a deep breath. “She’s not at all who I thought she was when we got married.” She leaned back in her chair and stared at her hands as she plucked at the stray thread unraveling from her napkin. “I lose a little more of my pride every time I ask her to come home. My unimportance has become clear.” She crumpled the napkin in her hand. “How could I have been so stupid?”
How could Jordan be so cold? Carly’s reality cut right through Wynn. She wanted to launch across the table and take her into her arms. “You weren’t stupid. You were in love.”
“Not love, lust.” Carly shook her head and let out a sad laugh. “We never really had any connection other than sex. At least Jordan didn’t.”
Wynn’s eyebrows rose, an involuntary response to the comment. She’d totally failed at hiding her surprise, which Carly seemed to notice immediately.
“Now that I’m past it, I have to call it what it was. I was so naive that I got wrapped up in a whirlwind courtship loaded with passion-filled romantic getaways and adventure.” Carly rolled her eyes. “Her line was perfect: ‘I’m Jordan Jamison, like the whiskey, but full bodied and smoother.’ Ugh, I let Jordan’s confidence distract me. I wanted an assertive partner who could take charge…take care of me and help raise a family. I could shoot myself for buying into that. I mean, who gets married two months after they start dating?”
Pain shot through Wynn as she bit down on her lip, holding her thoughts in. Jordan had always been the charming one in the family. The wedding announcement had been a total shock to Wynn. Jordan could have any woman in the world, and she’d chosen the only one Wynn was interested in. At the time, she’d pointed out to Jordan how little time she’d known Carly, practically begged her not to marry her, but Jordan always got what she wanted.
The server came with their meals and slid the plates in front of them, then put the carrots in the middle of the table, which seemed to reset Carly’s mood.
Carly tilted her head and smiled. “I’m honestly having a better time tonight with you than I probably would’ve had with Jordan.” She took a bite of the lobster and let out a soft moan.
“I’m sure that’s not true.” She avoided eye contact, trying not to give her feelings away.
“It’s absolutely true. If she were here right now she’d be on her phone texting someone or reading email.” She took another bite and moaned again before forking a chunk and placing it on Wynn’s plate. “It’s delicious.”
Wynn ate the bite. “That’s wonderful.” She cut a portion of the halibut and placed it on Carly’s plate. “This isn’t bad either.”
Carly took a bite and moaned again. “That is so much better.” She pointed her fork at Wynn’s plate before she set her fork on the table and picked up her plate. “Trade with me.”
Wynn slipped another bite into her mouth quickly and forked another.
Carly let her mouth drop open. “Don’t eat it all.”
Wynn couldn’t hold her laughter and covered her mouth to prevent the food from spilling out before she swallowed. “You gave me five seconds.” She glanced at her Apple Watch before she picked up her plate and traded with Carly. “I had one second left.”
Carly narrowed her eyes. “I think your time was up, but I’ll let this one pass.”
“Thank God for that, or I might starve.”
Carly pushed the bowl of carrots closer to Wynn. “Veggies are better for you anyway.”
She smiled as she picked up the carrots and scooped a few onto the plate. She had to admit watching Carly enjoy her food was very entertaining, if not arousing.
After finishing the halibut, Carly blotted her lips with her napkin and flopped back in her chair. “What happened to you, anyway?”
“What do you mean?” she asked, honestly confused. This conversation had gone in so many directions and wasn’t at all what she’d expected tonight.
“I felt something with you back then—when we kissed, and I thought you felt it too.” She took a sip of wine. “But then you seemed to become so aloof and disinterested.” Carly’s eyes were focused on her.
A rush of heat captured her, and she wasn’t sure how to respond. A laugh escaped her throat before she could stop it. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to laugh. It’s just fucking bad karma. I thought we had something going too.” She hesitated. “Before you got together with Jordan.”
She waited for Carly to speak, and after a moment of what looked like contemplation, she did. “Yeah, we definitely had a vibe between us. I thought you were going to ask me out, and then when your sister came into the picture, you totally backed off.”
She was stunned. Why hadn’t Carly said anything then? “I thought you wanted that. If you didn’t, why’d you go out with her?” A rush of heat filled her. “Why’d you marry her?”
The chair rattled as Carly moved forward and planted her elbows on the table. “I just told you why I married her. Why’d you disappear?”
“I got the message loud and clear. That night, after the fund-raiser, you went home with Jordan.”
Carly widened her eyes and shook her head. “I did not go home with Jordan. She gave me a ride. That’s it.”
“But she said…” She closed her eyes. “She lied.” The words tumbled softly from her lips. It wouldn’t be the first time Jordan had done that to get something she wanted.
“It appears so. I’ve found that she’s very good at that.”
“Jordan came to me after that night and said she thought you were the one. Her soul mate.” It seemed now that everything Jordan had told her in the days following had been lies to get her away from Carly. She hadn’t considered that possibility.
“That’s a fucking joke.” Carly arched an eyebrow.
“Then why did you marry her?”
“Your sister was persistent, and you were gone. About that—where the hell did you go?”
“After what she’d said, I didn’t think I had a chance. You seemed interested in her as well.” I couldn’t watch you fall in love with someone else.
“I swallowed my pride—called you so many times.” Carly raised her voice and kept eye contact. “More than I’ve ever done with anyone else in my life, and you ignored me.”
“She’s my sister. I didn’t—”
“Think she’d lie to you? So instead of talking to me, you just stepped aside and disappeared from my life.”
“I felt I should.”
“Those are some weirdly archaic rules you live by, my dear.”
“If you’re so unhappy, why don’t you ask Jordan for a divorce?”
Carly sighed. “I can’t. It’s done, and good or bad, I’m married for the rest of my life. I don’t want to go into all the details.”
“What? Now who’s living by the weirdly archaic rules?”
“I’m a marriage counselor, one of the most prominent in San Francisco. I’d be a total failure if I couldn’t save my own marriage. Everyone in my field would crucify me.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
Carly stared across the table at her. “I don’t think I would’ve liked being the object of a competition between you two, but I would’ve at least liked to have known how you felt and been given a choice.”
“Would you have chosen differently?” Wynn knew she shouldn’t ask, but she needed to know.
Carly raised her eyebrows. “Possibly.” She looked at the ceiling and then sprang forward. “Hell, yes. It would’ve been different.”
“Jordan can be very charming when she wants something.” She’d seen her in action many times.
Carly blew out a short breath. “Not that charming.”
“So she didn’t try to persuade you to sleep with her that night?” She glanced up as the server appeared out of nowhere and slipped the bill onto the table.
“Oh, she tried, but my mind was still completely stuck on the kiss you and I had shared on the pier.”
Her stomach dipped as she remembered the feel of Carly’s body against hers that night. “Really?” She heard the insecurity seep from her voice. It had been a long time since that had happened.
Carly raised an eyebrow. “Really. You didn’t give me much credit, did you?”
“I just thought—”
“That I had an off-the-charts kiss with you, then fucked your sister the same night?” Carly swiped at her mouth with her napkin and tossed it onto the table. “You know, Suzanna is the only one of the Jamison sisters worth marrying. Unfortunately, she’s straight.” The chair scraped against the floor as she got up and then practically ran across the restaurant toward the bathroom.
Wynn took her phone out of her pocket. It seemed to have buzzed a million times in the last hour with multiple texts from Jordan. She was bulleting her with questions like she was on a first date.
How are things going?
Did you order appetizers and a nice bottle of wine?
She likes that.
It’s your anniversary! Wynn was so pissed right now, she could barely hit the right keys.
Oh, really? A surprised face emoji appeared at the end of Jordan’s response.
REALLY! She typed back and waited impatiently as the bubbles formed on the screen.
I’ll send her flowers tomorrow.
You really are an ass.
True, but I’m not standing in your way any longer.
You totally screwed me so you could screw her, and now you don’t want her anymore? That’s fucked up.
No need to get nasty about it. Carly made the choice. In reality, Wynn had made the choice for her.
You are such a cold bitch.
All’s fair in love and war.
She wanted to hurl her phone across the room.
I really used to admire you, but now I can’t think of why.
“Is everything okay?” She heard Carly before she saw her and quickly dropped her phone into her jacket pocket.
“Just checking my email for security issues at work. We had a layoff today.”
“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.” Carly’s anger seemed to have dissipated, and she actually looked concerned as she slid into her chair. “Did the company provide counseling resources? The loss of a job is really hard on marriages.”
“Because of the lost income?” She hadn’t thought about that. Human Resources was there, but they hadn’t arranged any counselors. She’d see about that tomorrow.
“Loss of income, ego, self-worth—they all play a factor. A lot of couples find it to be their breaking point.” Carly took a sip of wine. “Could the company have avoided it?”
She shrugged. “Possibly, but leadership wanted immediate results. Waiting six to eight months for better numbers wasn’t an option.” It wasn’t an option, was it? They’d indicated a quick need for recovery, and that’s what she’d given them. Just as she had the last time.
Carly reached across the table and touched her hand. “You know, sometimes it takes more courage not to do something than to just play along.”
At this moment Wynn was sure of that truth. Her thoughts went immediately to the past, more than three hundred and sixty-five days earlier, when she was looking into confused green eyes, reliving the kiss with Carly that came next and wanting so badly to do it again. If she hadn’t stepped away as Jordan had asked, tonight might have very well been Wynn’s anniversary with Carly. She’d thought her feelings were gone—the whole thing was done—over—finished, but the emotions rushing her now proved she’d never truly purged Carly from her heart.
Carly stood. “Do you want to take a walk on the pier?”
“Sure.” She signed the check and placed it back in the folder.
They walked out through the patio exit and ambled along the pier slowly, looking everywhere but at each other until they stopped at a lamppost, standing a few feet apart, and stared out onto the Pacific Ocean. The awkward distance between them was clear.
Wynn’s neck was burning as a shiver coursed through her. She wanted to ask Carly so many things—needed to know them. “So if Jordan was out of the picture, and you were single right now, would you go out with me?” She pushed herself to journey further into this situation than she probably should. Carly would never be in her life that way. She’d clearly indicated that she wouldn’t consider divorcing Jordan, and Wynn would never push her to break her vows.
Carly blew out a breath as she turned and stared into her eyes. “I honestly don’t know. Back then you were different. Now you’re just like Jordan—career driven. Work is your world. According to your mother, you haven’t committed to anyone for more than a couple of months at a time.” She shrugged. “You don’t have room for anyone in your life, let alone a wife and kids. I want a family—the wife, the house in the suburbs, the picket fence, all of it. Apparently, I’m not destined for any of it.”
Her heart clenched at the hopeless despair in Carly’s voice. Wynn had never been able to commit to anyone because she wanted all that too—with Carly. Always had, always would. Everything had gone wrong that night after they’d kissed. She wished she could do it all over again and be the person Carly wanted and needed, the person she, herself, needed.
Thunder clapped in the sky, and huge droplets of rain cascaded upon them, but neither of them moved to gain shelter. They remained frozen, staring into each other’s eyes.
“I’ve never been able to get that kiss out of my head either.” She couldn’t stop the urge and rushed toward Carly. Suddenly her hands were on her face, then in her hair, and she was kissing Carly just like she had over a year ago. She was uncertain at first, but when Carly’s hands landed inside her jacket on her hips and urged her closer, she couldn’t deny it. Carly wanted it just as badly.
The kiss began softly, gently, neither of them trying to conquer the other. Control was not an issue, and their tongues seemed familiar with each other. It was as if each of them knew what the other wanted—every motion, every touch set all her senses on fire. Clearly she should have been with Carly all along. How could she have ignored that fact before?
Sounds became muffled as her senses heightened, and pure joy spread throughout her as they pressed into one another. She broke away, opened her eyes briefly, found Carly’s darkened emerald eyes staring back at her. Wynn’s vision tunneled as the heady feeling overtook her and she immersed herself once more in the warmth, the feel, the taste of Carly. Light flashed through her head as the kiss deepened and the electricity between them surged…