When distance grows between two people, sometimes it’s almost palpable, in the silence, in the polite words, the total lack of real intimacy. I bury myself in my work, unable to find the words to tell Landon how I feel about Ava’s attack and his reaction to it.
On his part, I know he’s also working extra hard by how exhausted he is at night, how he falls asleep immediately after we make love, how he doesn’t have the energy to get up during the night as he usually does when his nightmares wake the both of us.
Three days after we return from San Francisco, he stops coming to bed at all, preferring to remain in his study all night. I tell myself it’s because of the nightmares, not because anything I feared would happen when he went to see Ava actually happened, not because he can no longer bear to be with me when he’d rather be with her, comforting her, helping her get better.
The Friday morning when he tells me over breakfast that he’s planning to see a new therapist and has booked an appointment, I only nod silently. I feel almost as if he’s a stranger—a stranger I love with my whole being, but a stranger nonetheless. I feel as if we’re separated by a wall of silence, and I don’t know if the words I have will break down the walls or reinforce them.
Later that day, I leave work early for an appointment with my ob-gyn, who confirms that I’m pregnant. I no longer have any reason not to tell Landon—no reason except the ghosts of Ava Sinclair and her brother hanging over us like permanent fixtures in our lives.
When I get to the Swanson Court, there’s a book launch and signing happening in one of the banquet halls, and a lot of fans and publishing industry types are coming and going through the lobby. After a short hesitation where I consider going to buy a book and getting it signed, I move on to the elevators, the possible long wait discouraging me.
The elevator opens almost as soon as I press the call button and I step inside, impatient to leave the crowded lobby. At the last moment, someone steps inside with me, and I look up just as the doors close to find myself staring at Evans Sinclair’s malevolent face.
“Look normal, or I will shoot you. I promise.”
I’m too shocked to do anything, to even scream. Terror rises in my chest, choking me. His eyes roam from my face down to my feet and back up, almost black with hate. Everything that was once handsome about his face has disappeared, replaced by the sagging, blotched skin and hollow look of an alcohol and substance abuser.
“Hi Rachel,” he leers. He sounds almost good-natured, and that makes me even more afraid.
“What do you want?” I’m surprised that my voice isn’t shaking, that I can still support myself on my own feet.
He chuckles. “Let me think…I want my hotel back. I want Landon Court to pay for taking it away from me. I want him to pay for using my sister.”
“You stabbed your sister,” I remind him.
“Shut up,” he sneers. “Don’t forget I have a gun, right here, under my jacket. I could shoot you and leave a nice surprise for your boyfriend.”
From his face, I don’t doubt that he would—if he actually has a gun. My eyes flick to the small camera at the top of the car. “Why should I believe that you have a gun?” I ask calmly.
He laughs again. “You want me to pull it out? Show you? So your security team will see it in the camera feed? Good try, but I’m not dumb.”
I breathe. “Then you know hurting me won’t get you what you want. Neither will hurting Landon.”
He shrugs. “I’m not going to get anything back anyway. I might as well hurt you.”
The car stops and he gives me an expectant glance as the panel beeps for the keycard. “Go on,” he says in a singsong voice. “Open the doors.”
I retrieve the card from my purse and slide it into the panel. The doors slide open. Evans is watching me, and he motions with the hand inside his jacket pocket for me to walk inside ahead of him. I do as he wants, and once the doors slide closed behind me, he reaches for me, pulling me inside by my hair.
I fight him then, as soon as I see that the hand in his pocket is no longer holding the gun. I claw at him, my bag clattering to the floor as I attack him with all my strength. I use my nails, my teeth, and I scream, hoping Esmeralda or one of the other staff is somewhere in the apartment.
He lands a punch on the side of my face, and I hit the floor, almost passing out. I see two drops of blood from somewhere on my face stain the spotless white marble before there’s another painful tug on my hair.
I start to scream again, until I feel the cold metal against my skin.
“I will shoot you,” he whispers. “It’ll be quicker than tossing you over the balcony. I’d like to see Landon Court try to fix you then, like he fixed the Gold Dust.”
He starts to drag me by my hair again, and when he tosses me on the living room floor, I’m crying. It’s not the physical pain that hurts the most. It’s the fear and the regret—regret that if he kills me, my child won’t ever be born, I’ll never see Landon again, and the last memories he’ll have of our relationship will be the growing distance, the silence, not the love that fills me now when I think of him.
Evans is looking at my face and smiling. He squats down, close to me, and his grin widens. “You’re ruining your mascara,” he says, making an exaggerated sad face. Pulling a phone out of his pocket, he takes a picture. “Look at you,” he says in that scary singsong voice. “Not so pretty now. Landon Court’s girlfriend… I saw your pictures at the reopening of the Gold Dust. Did I tell you that your bastard boyfriend used to fuck my sister? That bitch. I think I’ll rough you up a little bit more, send him a few pictures. What do you think?”
My head is beginning to pound where he hit me and I can taste blood in my mouth. “You’ll never get away with this,” I manage.
He shrugs and binds my hands with duct tape before moving to my feet. When he’s done, he goes to the glass doors that lead to the balcony and slides them open.
The breeze that rushes inside the apartment is cold and biting. In desperation, I start to crawl, even though I know I probably won’t get far. I’m going to die, I realize as tears begin to flow again. My poor baby. Laurie, Dylan, my family…and Landon! Landon, who will never forgive himself. This will surely kill him.
“Where are you going?” I hear Evans ask cheerfully. He comes over and pulls me to my bound feet then drags me out to the balcony. “Nice day isn’t it?”
I look out at the city. It has always been beautiful to me from this height, but now it’s just terrifying. Evans releases me and I brace my hands on the balustrade, dragging my feet as I try to put as much space between us as possible.
He looks at my efforts, his expression amused. Then he looks down at the traffic below. “Do you think it feels good, when you’re falling?”
My cheeks are wet. I don’t answer. I’m thinking of Landon. Please let there be a way for him to get through this.
“I’m talking to you,” Evans prompts.
“I don’t know,” I whisper through my tears.
He smiles. “I don’t know,” he mimics, then adds under his breath, “Bitch.”
I hear a sound from the living room, and I almost scream, but then Evans reaches for his gun, whipping it out and pointing in the direction of the sliding doors. The curtains are billowing and I’m too far away to see inside, but somehow, I know it’s Landon in the apartment.
“Rachel?” I hear his voice, and even though it’s the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard in my life, I’m still paralyzed by fear. Evans has the gun pointed at the door, and I know he won’t hesitate to shoot.
“He has a gun!” I scream desperately. “He has a gun.”
Evans ignores me, keeping the gun pointed at the curtains. A moment later, they part, and Landon is standing there. He looks at me, taking in my bound hands and feet. I see his jaw tighten as his eyes go to Evans.
“What do you want?” he asks.
“What do you think?”
Landon looks at me again then turns back to Evans. “You’re not going to get it.”
Evans smiles. “I think I already have.”
“Really?” Landon sounds so calm, but I can see the vein in his jaw working furiously. “You’re a wanted man. You’re going to jail. You won’t get your hotel back, and you won’t get away with whatever you plan to do here.”
Evans is listening quietly. “You have no idea how much I hate you, how much I’ve hated you, all these years. I loved her, and she chose you, over and over again. Ava was perfect, and you ruined her. You made her give you all the time, all the attention she should have given me.”
Landon looks confused. “Your sister…”
“Yes!” Evans screams. “I loved her, and you took her from me, and then you stole my hotel.” He calms, very suddenly. “Maybe I won’t get my hotel back, but then, maybe I don’t want it anymore. Maybe I won’t even get out of here, or get away with this…” He waves the gun around. “But I’m going to hurt you Landon Court, and you’re never going to forget about me.”
I still don’t know exactly what happened next. All I remember is watching as Evans’ gun arm started to turn toward me as if in slow motion then seeing Landon moving through the air like a projectile, launching himself at Evans. The huge roar as the gun went off, and my scream as they both started to go over the balustrade. Then the thud as I hit the floor and everything went black.