Twenty-Six

A

ir that felt like dragon’s breath blew wisps of Jo’s hair around her face. The storm brewing wasn’t supposed to hit until the wee hours of the morning, but the gray sky above her looked like it could open up at any moment. She should probably drive to the mailbox, but she liked to walk. Walking helped clear her mind and she had a lot of uncluttering to do right now.

Micah took up the biggest portion of her thoughts but there was other stuff too. Like, what was she going to do about a job? And Belva and Chase wanted to pave this drive with some of their inheritance money. Should she pitch in? She kind of liked the country appeal of the gravel drive. And Sunday morning’s sermon…

Yesterday had been the first time since the breakup that Jo had gone to church. She hadn’t realized how parched her soul had become until she was there, being greeted by fellow Christians, worshiping in song, and hanging on every word the preacher had to say.

He'd spoken on what he called second surrender. His words had been circling her mind since, making her question her own walk with God.

The moment when you repent and accept Christ as your Savior, most of us are focused on what comes after death. But what about your life before heaven? Have you surrendered your life here on earth to your Heavenly Father? Do you consult with Him about your everyday living?

Gravel crunched behind her. The smile died on Jo’s face when she saw it was Chase on the golf cart coming toward her instead of Rachel. He hadn’t had too much to say to her since the day he found out about Tage.

He stopped next to her. “Want a ride?”

“Sure.” The trip would be uncomfortable but short. She could deal with whatever might come of it. Chase wasn’t likely to confront her, anyway. “No work today?”

He glanced at her from the corner of his eyes. “I took the day off to go to the doctor with Rachel.”

Jo jerked around to face him. “The doctor? What’s wrong with Rachel?”

He smiled. “We haven’t announced it yet, but she’s pregnant again. Six weeks. The doctor said everything’s fine, and the baby should be here around Valentine’s next year.”

“Congratulations.”

“Thanks.”

Jo stared straight ahead as this information settled in the forerunner position of her previous thoughts. Rachel had made it no secret that she wanted a large family and it looked like those dreams were coming true. Jo wanted a family too, but she hadn’t even been able to land a husband yet. Well, not one that didn’t already belong to someone else. She cringed at her own incriminating thought.

And why not? She deserved the self-denigrating. It should make her cringe and worse.

“Rachel said you quit your job. I think it was the right thing to do.”

“So I’ll stay away from him?”

He turned to look at her, but she averted her face. It seemed like they needed to have this conversation, but she didn’t want to see the condemnation in his eyes while they did.

“Were you in danger of getting back together with him?”

She slowly let go of the breath she’d been holding. “I can honestly say no, I wasn’t. I never wanted to see him again but that’s not why I quit. It just felt like the right thing to do.”

“Rachel told me you’d prayed about it. I hope you’re doing the same for other aspects of your life.”

Was he thinking of Preacher Campbell’s sermon too? She’d been praying for God’s will in general. Did she need to be more specific?

Chase retrieved everyone’s mail while her thoughts circled back to her earlier concerns. He handed her the whole stack of it. “Yours is on top. I got Belva’s too. Figured it’d be best if you held onto all of it with this wind. I hope we don’t lose any trees with the storm coming.”

His voice faded and the wind stilled, or it might as well for her lack of awareness for anything except for the envelope at the top of the stack. The one with Micah’s name in the corner. The envelope lacked a stamp and there was a lump beneath her thumb. He must have placed it in her box himself.

There wasn’t a doubt in her mind that Chase saw Micah’s name and had to be almost as curious as she was to know what was in it, but she’d wait until she got home to open it in private. Though, the anticipation might kill her before she arrived there.

Jo sorted Belva’s mail from the stack and handed it to Chase when he stopped in Belva’s drive. As soon as he turned his back, she shoved all but that top envelope beneath her leg. She glanced at him as he walked toward Belva’s door and did a quick estimate of how long it would take before he headed back her way.

Even knowing it wouldn’t be enough time, she tore the end of the envelope off and tipped out the contents. A silver necklace slid into her hand. The pendant was an outline of three elephants—two adults with their trunks caressing a baby elephant. The trio formed a heart.

She squeezed the sides of the envelope open to peek inside but there was no note included. The only way to gain more information would be to talk to him. Maybe that was the point. Jo held her hand up letting the necklace dangle there. To her, it represented the family she’d hoped to form with him and Lala. Was that what he had in mind when he chose it?

“Is that from Micah?”

She jumped at the sound of Chase’s voice. It was in that moment she realized there were tears in her eyes. Her rapid blinking set them free to slide down her face instead of causing them to recede like she’d hoped.

“Yes, it’s from Micah.” She shook her head. “I swear that man is doing everything in his power to break my heart.”

Chase pursed his lips to one side, then blew out a breath before sliding in beside her. “I think he’s doing everything in his power to win your heart, not break it. Question is, are you going to let him?”

Her hand dropped to her lap, the necklace enclosed in her fist. “Don’t you think he deserves better?”

That had been her mantra from the beginning. If anyone would agree with that, it would be Chase. He’d let his feelings about her affair with Tage sing loud and clear by saying nothing at all. He’d barely even looked at her since he found out.

Chase wrapped his hand around her fist and peered into her eyes. “Have you repented?”

She nodded, her emotions catching in her throat.

“God has forgiven you and given you a second chance. You need to quit throwing it back in His face. I can’t tell you one way or another about whether you and Micah belong together, but you’re certainly not going to get a clear answer by hanging onto that guilt.”

She studied his face, looking for the truth behind his words. “Considering how you’ve acted toward me, I’m surprised to hear you say that.”

He squeezed her hand and then let go. “I’m sorry. It takes me longer than it does other people to process stuff like that.”

Maybe that was her problem too. Everyone else, including Micah, seemed ready to forgive her and move on, while she was still hanging on. Maybe it was past time to let go of that guilt. Maybe then she could figure out the future and whether or not Micah was meant to be a part of hers.

Micah added a black-bean burger to his tray, then headed to the salad bar for toppings to go on it. He’d tried one for the first time a month ago when he was concerned about the few pounds he’d put on from lack of working out and discovered that he loved them. Luckily, he no longer had to worry about his weight since he’d recently started running with Gray.

After checking out at the register, Micah found an empty table at the back of the hospital’s cafeteria. Just as he set his tray down, his phone pinged with a text notification. Who in the world would be texting him this time of night? His heart jumped into overdrive when he saw it was from Jo.

I got the beautiful necklace you left in my mailbox.

I love it! Thank you.

Did this mean she’d unblocked his phone number? A call would’ve been better and seeing her in person even better than that, but this was progress and he’d take it.

I’m glad you love it. I ordered it right after our trip to the zoo. Lala helped pick it out.

It had been delivered to his place the day after Jo broke up with him and he’d been holding on to it all this time. He’d stuck it in her mailbox on a whim with the hope that it might chip away at the wall she’d erected between them. Thank goodness it seemed to be working.

Is it storming there?

Micah looked out the window behind him. He’d been so busy, he hadn’t had time to give the coming storm a thought.

The wind has picked up but so far, we only have a light rain. What about there?

Alethea had put Lala in her bed tonight and Micah had left instructions for her to call if she needed him. He didn’t expect any trouble, but it seemed to put Alethea’s worries to rest.

The wind’s howling with heavy rain.

Should be headed your way next.

Micah sighed and bit into his burger. He wasn’t much worried about the wind and rain. They were finally communicating again, and it was about the weather. He grabbed his phone and started tapping out a reply. He wouldn’t scare her off by dramatically declaring his undying love, but he could at least say something to turn the conversation in the right direction.

I’ve missed you.

Her reply was almost immediate.

I’ve missed your friendship.

He shook his head and mumbled as he shoved his phone into his pocket and disposed of the remains of his meal. “My friendship? Great. Just what I was hoping to hear from the woman I love.”

He was about to step onto the elevator when his phone beeped with another message.

That didn’t come out right. What I mean is, I want to start again as friends. I can’t make any promises. I don’t know if it will lead back to where we were, but I’m willing to start at friendship and let God do the leading this time.

Maybe she didn’t realize it, but God had been doing the leading before. Which meant he had nothing to worry about.

I value your friendship and I’m all for letting God lead. Break’s over and I’m headed back to work.

Don’t hesitate to call if you need me.

He stared at his final message for a few seconds before hitting send. So mundane. So not what he wanted to say. But so necessary if he didn’t want to scare her away. He’d been afraid of pushing too hard when he’d told her he loved her. The whole scene had been nothing like how he’d pictured telling her for the first time. It wouldn’t be the last time. He just needed to be patient and have faith that everything would work out the way it was meant to.