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“Thanks for the graphic image. Sorry I asked.”
Kyle sighed. “Don’t be, Juniper. I want you to get me and you deserve the truth. What do you want to know?”
“The whole thing.”
“Okay. Well, Royce and I have a checkered past. Growing up, I never knew my family. As a teenager, I met Royce and we really connected. I looked up to him. He was older, wiser and settled with a picture-perfect family. His wife Min-Jun was...is...a special lady. Smart. Successful. Kind to a fault. She was a cultural attaché in DC and gave up work when Colt was born. I’ll never forget that day. I flew to see him. I love him to bits, you know. When Royce became a congressman, they moved to Michigan. And last year, Royce and Min-Jun got divorced. It’s all my fault...” His voice trailed off, his eyes solemn as he stared at the crackling blaze of fire.
“How?”
“It’s my fault Denise got in between them. Three years ago, I was visiting Ann Arbor and bumped into her on a flight. She’s an old family friend and begged me to reconnect her with Royce. So I did. She was a TV news anchor. I thought she could help him.”
“Yeah, I could see her doing that. She’s very pretty and refined.”
“More like refined evil.” At my enlarged eyes, he muttered, “Let me finish. Denise is a piece of work. First she became Royce’s campaign manager and then his mistress.”
My mouth fell open. “Wait, what?”
“Min-Jun found out Royce was cheating, and she took Colt away. Then she filed for divorce.”
“Weird. Denise told me they hooked up after his divorce.”
Kyle shook his head and fisted his hair. “Ha. Clever little liar. I can’t believe she dared talk to you. She doesn’t know about us but she’s a hawk-eyed bitch. I’ve never called a woman that but no one deserves it more. Juniper, be very careful. I don’t want you anywhere near her.”
“I know we’re together now, but you can’t tell me who to talk to or not,” I said in a huff.
Kyle raised a sharp black eyebrow. “Like you don’t want me meeting your family?”
“That’s different.”
“How? You set limits on me as well. I told you I have some rules. One of my rules was, us first, others later. I don’t trust Denise. She tore apart a happy marriage.”
“Isn’t Royce accountable too?”
“Yes, he is. More accountable. That’s why I stopped talking to him. Juniper— I have done things I’m not proud of, but I would never cheat. The way my father switched wives, made me hate that.”
I chewed my lower lip. In my mind, Kyle Paxton was no better, except for the fact that he spelled out his intentions to his companions. He would not cheat in the traditional sense, but he had set up the parameters of his system to ensure an immaculate way to do so.
He was watching me, eyes probing my thoughts, waiting for me to say something. I said, “I see. Go on.”
“Now there’s a big child custody battle coming up. For what it’s worth, Royce really loves Colt.”
Shifting away from his warm body, I slipped to the end of the settee. “Oh no. Poor Colt. He’s such a sweet kid.”
“Yeah. Reminds me of myself when my parents split up.”
“Except he has two parents who love him.”
“I guess.”
“Why can’t they settle out of court?”
“They tried. Min-Jun wanted a separation, not a divorce, because of Colt. But she wanted Royce to end the affair. I talked to him but he was dead set on the divorce. Denise hatched lies about Min-Jun that my bastard of a brother chose to believe. She’s a gifted liar. Great campaign manager. Rotten human. I don’t know how she does it. The woman can make the world believe Hitler was a guardian angel and that Mother Theresa was Lucifer.”
“Jeez. I can’t stop thinking about Colt. People like Royce and Denise shouldn’t have kids.”
“It’s all my fault. I introduced them.”
“That’s noble of you but it’s not your fault.”
“It is.”
“How?”
He shook his head, eyes still averted. “Doesn’t matter now.”
My heart stilled as I searched his withdrawn face. “Kyle, if it wasn’t for Denise, your brother would have cheated with somebody else. Stop beating yourself up for what you can’t control.”
With a swipe of an arm, Kyle seized my waist and tugged me his way and I landed on his lap. Long fingers curved around my neck and drew me to his face. Kyle kissed my forehead and then both my cheeks. Confused, I gazed at him. He stared back and, closing his eyes, kissed my lips slowly. This was no kiss of passion, but of tenderness—love, even—and it meant so much more than any of his earlier kisses. Strangely, this made me sad and I was reminded of the clock ticking away in the back of my mind.
Pulling away, he said, “June-Bug, you make me a better person. I see you believe the best of everyone. That’s sweet but dangerous.”
“Thank you, I think?”
“Promise me you won’t meet with Denise. Don’t even talk to her. If she finds out about us, she’s going to do her best to tear us apart.”
“Why? I don’t even know her.”
“Denise knows how freaking hard I tried to reconcile Royce and Min-Jun. She’s after my blood.”
“Who cares about her? Just reconnect with Royce. It’ll help Colt.”
“No. I am paying for Min-Jun’s divorce lawyers. I know she’ll be the better parent for Colt. Royce thinks I’ve betrayed him. Things got so bad we got into a real fight this Thanksgiving. Royce and I are done. Irrevocably.”
“Why would he join the museum board if he’s done with you?”
“Because it’s all part of Denise’s fuck-you checkmate. They know the museum is important to me.”
“Kyle, I think you’re wrong. You should trust people. I think they just want to reconcile with you.”
“Sweetheart.” Kyle beamed and squeezed me hard. “Don’t you understand politics? How can someone so smart be so innocent?”
Since we had come to Cedar Cradle Grove, Kyle had been different with me. More gentle, more familiar, more caring, more affectionate. My arms went around his waist and I whispered, “You mean, how can someone so smart be so dumb? Are you mocking me again? I don’t have crabs to throw on you, but I have lobster claws in the fridge.”
Kyle planted kisses on the corners of my lips. “No, darling. I can’t believe such purity exists in this day and age. Never change. I love your pure heart.”
Sinking in his arms, I dissolved like salt in water. He had not said he loved me, but it was enough for me. “And I love your clockwork mind.”
Dragging me to his chest, he stroked my hair and whispered, “June-Bug you have no idea how much you mean to me. Since Sunday, I have been happier than I’ve ever been in my life.”
I smiled against his navy blue sweater pocket. “Surely you exaggerate.”
“No, I don’t.” And then, as if he had expressed more than he preferred, he quickly added, “And this place is so peaceful. I needed to slow down. Thanks.”
Chin on his shoulder, I looked up to gauge his expression. “I’m glad. I was worried it would be too rustic, too isolated, too lame for you.”
“I like it because you can’t run away from me here.”
“I don’t want to run away. I’m afraid you might after this weekend.”
“Why?”
“We don’t have Wi-Fi and mobile phones don’t work here. You’ll be off the grid. Is that a problem?”
“Evan knows no one is to contact me, unless the office frigging burns down. But my phone can work in an underground cave. There are some perks to being BirdsEye CEO.” His fingers lifted my chin and forced me to meet his amused eyes. “But, baby, what makes you think I have work on my mind?”
His navy pupils were so dilated, his eyes looked black, and I blushed and lowered my gaze.
“There it is again—that elusive shyness. I thought you stopped blushing. But she’s back, folks.”
“Stop making it more awkward.”
“It’s your fault for kidnapping me and trapping me in a treehouse. Alone with you.” He drew me closer and his lips hovered over mine. “And for being so irresistible.”
I met his lips eagerly, my arms lacing his waist. A thousand things raced in my mind. I was frustrated because I was hoping to preen a little and wear the sexy lingerie I had bought especially for today, and to make everything perfect and pretty. But it looked like we were going to jump right into it. So much for the best laid plans. I was thankful I had spent some time yesterday at a salon getting waxed and getting my hair done, which was now tousled and messy. But then I saw the unconditional desire blazing in Kyle’s eyes and all my silly feminine fears and doubts were laid to rest.
Stop freaking out, Juniper. Just enjoy Kyle.
He was sporadic at first, kissing me and stopping every few seconds to test my reaction. Then he kissed me with raw, ferocious energy while he moved over me until I was lying under him on the settee. I loved the delicious weight of his body on mine and caressed his chest and back, my legs restless under his. The force of his kisses deepened in such a way, I knew there was no going back from this.
Kyle had waited for me since he had carried me down the scaffolding. And I, too, wanted nothing more than to be right there, crushed underneath him, every fiber in my body aching, and so I gave myself up to the fire in my veins. Soon I was barely breathing from the mounting pressure of his hands and his kisses everywhere and my heroic attempts to match his pace.
After ravaging my mouth and neck to his heart’s content, Kyle looked at me and whispered, “Trust me?”
“Yes.”
“We’ll take it slow at first. I’ll teach you the basics. Then in a few weeks, we’ll move you to the advanced classes.”
Wait, what? Is Kyle into kinky stuff? I should have asked for the Rule Book. It was like a Kyle Owner’s Manual. An ultimate Kyle Instruction Guide. His other companions got the Rule Book. Why didn’t I? I’ve no idea what the hell “advanced classes” mean.
My heart sank. It was like finding out I was supposed to fly a falling plane when I didn’t even know how to drive a car.
“Advanced?”
At my anxious eyes, he grinned. An errant finger traced my lips and I lost my power to breathe. Looping the finger around a stray lock of my hair, he jerked it up, eliciting a sharp gasp from me. “Trust me, nothing creepy. I don’t enjoy seeing people in pain. Pleasure, yes. I don’t need drugs and simulated highs, or bondage. I like the real thing. I. Am. Fun. Enough. So are you.”
My voice lodged in my throat at his words. “O-kay. Like Dali said, ‘I don’t do drugs, I am drugs.’ But what do you mean by advanced?”
“You’ll find out—soon. But today, let’s stick to the basics. And can we talk about Dali later?”
I trembled and forced a nervous joke out. “Hmm. Kyle Paxton, my very own Idiot’s Guide to Sex. Does my inexperience bother you?”
Lips pursed in a forbidding line, he shook his head. “Juniper, last week when I found out you were a virgin, I was worried that I would hurt you. Or that I would not be special enough for you. I won’t hurt you, doll.”
“I know you’d never hurt me,” I whispered.
Maybe not physically.
“Remember this is a first for me and as special for me as it is for you,” he said, in between kisses he trailed on my jaw.
“Did you say a first? Have you never been with a virgin?”
“Thankfully, no.” His face blanched. “Shoot. That is not what I meant.”
“I get it.”
“Good.” He lifted me up, pulled my shirt off and then tore off his own, and then sank down on me, hard. The contact of his bare skin against mine was so delicious, I moaned softly, my eyes shutting. He undid my bra with a practiced motion and threw it off. As his mouth went to my breasts, my skin caught on fire, like he had poured lighter fluid over me and struck a match. Alien feelings bloomed through me as Kyle’s hands, lips and tongue touched and stroked me everywhere. I knew from his arousal that I was going to soon lose my virginity.
Argh. No. What am I doing?
That thought led to the uncanny appearance of my iron chastity belt on my pelvis. On impulse my knees locked up, despite his sizeable weight on me. My body went into cold fish mode. I was mortified. This had always happened to me with the other men who had tried to get anywhere with me. I had not expected it to happen with Kyle.
Feeling my restraint, he stilled and stared at my face, eyes torpid with desire. “What is it, babe?”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my breath mingling with his. “I’m a bit worried.”
He pulled up, the cool air fanning the space between us. “About what, June-Bug?”
“I’m worried that I won’t be enough...and that you will not enjoy it as much.”
“Don’t be an idiot. I will enjoy it more than I ever have with anyone. Because it’s you, Juniper. Ah. Why are we talking?” Eyebrows raised in mild irritation, he sighed and drew further away from me. “You’re nervous, aren’t you? Do you want me to stop?”
“No. No.” Arms looped around his stiff neck, I tried to drag him down. “I don’t want you to stop.”
He kept his head inflexibly up, resisting my attempts to kiss him. “I can, you know. I’ll get a bad case of blue balls. But you probably don’t know what I’m talking about. If you want, I can wait a few more days. I’ve waited so long, what’s a few more days. Let’s see, it’s Friday, December 18, and the time is 9:46 p.m. and 56 seconds. I met you on October 30, at 4:28 p.m. and 34 seconds. Since I met you, I’ve waited to do this for 49 days, 5 hours, 18 minutes, and 22 seconds.”
I smiled. I wasn’t surprised my Clockwork Hero knew precisely when he met me, down to the very second.
“Kyle, I’ve waited twenty-six years for you. I can’t wait a second longer.”
“Okay, you win. But, no more stopping.”
All of a sudden, he drew away and stood up. I went into instant Kyle-withdrawal-shock. He towered above the settee, his eyes scoring my skin with lines of fire. For awhile, he watched me shiver, enjoying my obvious aching need for him. When I got up from the settee and moved towards him, Kyle leaned down and gathered me in his arms. I was effortlessly lifted and carried to the bedroom and set down in bed.
I settled in the downy white pillows and stretched out my legs while Kyle put something down on the nightstand. Catching the glint of a shiny blue square wrapper in the low light, I uttered a sigh of gratitude that he had supernaturally produced a condom—for I had not even considered the logistics of birth control in my rash, impractical route to get to Kyle Paxton.
Focus, Juniper, on the extraordinary man focused on you.
Kyle stood at the foot of the bed and removed his jeans and I scrutinized his every movement. The low lamplight hit the hard planes of his muscular body, gleaming like bronze carvings in stone. I gasped when he stood before me in midnight black underwear. And then smiling cockily, he took them off. Impressive. In response, I wiggled out of my pants, flung them far away and smiled seductively at him, my shyness fading a bit.
Lips parting at my boldness, he assessed my body and then leisurely climbed on top of me, shifting his weight on his propped up elbows. When I closed my eyes in anticipation, he kissed me gently, one of his hands on my breasts and the other pinning both my wrists above my head in a steely grip. I panted, realizing I loved it when Kyle trussed me with his strength.
He misread my pleasure to be pain and stilled, his entire weight now shifted off my body and onto his elbows and knees. His fingers traced my jaw as if I was a soap bubble and would burst in the air. “Tell me if I am being rough and I’ll stop.”
“Kyle Paxton! Relax, I’m not made of glass. Stop stopping. Okay?” I realized he was as unsure as I was, for he had never had to practice restraint.
“Yep. No matter what, you’re not getting away this time, June-Bug.”
“No talking, remember?” I laughed and arched my neck to give him better access. My hands spanned his back as his muscles flexed and shifted under my touch.
Kisses rained on me from my lips to my ankles, some light and some so powerful, I would grab his head and force him to still his lips. For what seemed like an entire night of foreplay (but was probably less than an hour) we explored the novelty and freedom of being able to enjoy each other without fears and doubts.
I knew that Kyle was mad-experienced, but I also knew—despite my own inexperience—that he wasn’t lying about how much he enjoyed being with me. I imagined he usually made love the way he dived. Timed. Planned. Precise. Synchronized. Hard and brutal. Goal-oriented. But today, he held himself back, unraveling and controlling his inbred urges to please me.
As every inch of his body molded to mine, I recalled the time when Kyle had brought me down from the scaffolding and how perfectly his body had fit into mine, as if we were one broken item with two matching edges. I had dismissed it as the fleeting thought of an infatuated girl but now it hit me again. I was meant to be with Kyle. We were somehow meant to be.
Maybe always.
Kyle and I felt so right, our connection so kinetic, our bodies so intuitive, that none of it felt new, even though I had never been with a man. I had this illogical, stupid, single-minded idea that I had done this a thousand times before. With Kyle. I knew I did not want just a few months of nights like this, my skin ignited by his touch—I wanted always. A lump rose in my throat making me ache. My entire body curved to him and my limbs tightened hard around him as if by holding him with all my puny might, I could tether him to me—always.
He felt my increasing hold and mounted the pressure of his hands, his breathing so drawn, his eyes so dark, the connection so deep, I felt we were both embers lost in dark space, disconnected from any life in the extant universe, yet connected to it as much as atoms reborn in a singular form of matter.
I love him.
But I didn’t tell him that. Not even when Kyle Paxton took my virginity with a swift impaling of my body. At that point, I felt a sharp razor edge of pain, dulled by his soft kisses and his precise ardor. I knew from the concern in his eyes, as he sought my gaze, he was trying hard not to hurt me and I smiled faintly, my body rising and falling to meet his, thrust for thrust. The pain lasted for a few moments, and then I felt nothing but an intense rush of pleasure in my body. His eyes widened in surprise at my quick climax and he came a few seconds after me, quickly pulling out as if he was afraid to injure me.
For a while, we lay dazed and stunned staring at the ceiling. We were a foot apart, even though one of his arms was still under my waist and one of my legs was trapped under his powerful thighs.
Holy hell. That. Was. Earth-shattering.
“You all right? Did I hurt you?” Kyle leaned over my face, his breathing ragged.
I struggled to find my vocal cords in the limp, boneless mass of flesh that now composed Juniper Mill's body. “No.”
Gentle fingers drifted over my naked body, feeling the ridges of my ribcage and then moving lower. “Are you in pain?”
“In bliss.”
He grinned arrogantly. “For a novice, you certainly had...fun.”
“Did you?”
“Hell, yeah. More than you.”
“Again, not a competition. But thanks, I could tell...you tried to be gentle.”
“You are so receptive. That was unexpected. But then it’s true to form. Unpredictable Juniper.” Still grinning, he planted kisses on my hot and flushed cheeks.
“I can’t believe I’ve never done that before,” I cried out, mind and body still reeling from landing impact.
“I am kinda glad you waited. I think it’s hot you’re all mine,” he whispered.
My brows wrinkled and my tongue ran wild. “I’m not. That was amazing; I should have been doing that every single night for the past ten years.”
Kyle laughed softly. “Hey, hey. Hold on there, Tiger. I’m special, okay?”
I jolted up in bed, dislodging him. “Let’s do that again.”
Beaming, he pulled me to my knees and faced me. His hands went to my hips and he kissed me hard, his tongue spiking my mouth. He looked at me. “Aren’t you sore?”
“A little. But again.”
“I’ve created a monster.”
“No, I think I was born this way.”
