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Rubbing my bare arms, I waited in the hall with my back to Kyle and Min-Jun. I was feeling awkward and displaced. Again. Thankfully, Willow came to my rescue and hauled me to the dining room, leaving Kyle and Min-Jun alone. On entering the dining room, I whistled in my head. The blue-and-gold room had the longest table I had seen in my life. It was set with elaborate Christmas décor, iridescent under a crystal chandelier the size of my trusty Tomato.
“Hey, have you met my father?” Willow asked.
“Yes. A few times, when he was a museum board member.”
“He won’t remember you. He’s kinda senile. If he’s offensive, bigoted, racist, misogynistic, and crude don’t blame the senility though, that’s all him.”
I smiled. “I know he is sick, but what is it?”
“My father does everything in grand style. Even death. One disease was not enough for him. He’s got Parkinson’s and had a massive heart attack. Now he is on dialysis for kidney failure. The prognosis is not great.”
“Sorry to hear that.”
“You might be the only one sorry in this room.” Willow rolled her eyes, her extensive false eyelashes wafting in the air. “They can’t wait for the puppet master to croak.”
Wow. That is warped.
Marissa and a uniformed nurse hovered over an old man in a wheelchair at the head of the table. The last time I had seen Davis Paxton was two years ago at the museum and this was not the man I recalled. Shrunken and small in the wheelchair, he had lost weight and mass. His shoulders were bowed and his bones so angular my heart ached. A nasal cannulas for oxygen was slung under his nostrils and his breathing was shallow.
Willow introduced us and he kissed my hand with shaking fingers. “Enchante. So you are the sweet girl harpooning my son back to Ann Arbor.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think it’s because of me.”
Willow and her father laughed.
“You have no idea. We drag Kyle here punching and kicking once a year. Post-Juniper, he’s happy to drop in every weekend,” Willow said.
Davis smiled and even his smile was weak. “Kyle likes to be a tough guy...but there is good in him. You just have to pull it out. With my last few months on earth, I hope to see all of my children settled. Now, missy, are you serious about my son?”
I was speechless. I am serious about Kyle. Can’t say the same for him.
“Kyle is completely smitten by her,” Willow said with a smooth smile.
Marissa came up to us, huffing from the exertion of running around the mammoth house on six inch heels all day. “All right, darlings, go sit. Time to party.”
Willow dropped a kiss on her father’s head. “Rest, Papa.” She led me to a chair a few seats down from the head of the table. “Sit here.”
I found my name card between Kyle and Willow and sat down. The Paxtons were all settling down around the table and getting louder and happier as uniformed servers moved like ghosts, filling their empty glasses. There were some keen liquor sponges in this family. Looking around the room, I smiled. Clive was patiently taking photos with Tyler’s entourage.
“Clive’s the most down-to-earth superstar ever,” I said to Willow.
“Yeah. Also the most self-obsessed. Most car-obsessed. Most famished. Most lazy. Hates showers. I love the smelly maniac though,” Willow said.
“You guys are cuteness overload. I’m so happy for you.” My fingers played with the gold scalloped edge of the Hermes salad plate. Fancy. I had never eaten off of anything so ornamental.
With curiosity spiking her pretty dark eyes, she asked, “So things are heating up with you and Kyle, huh? Hope my bro is treating you well. Did you know I am the Paxton Complaint Department? Register with me if you he bothers you. I’ll kick his butt.”
“Will do. So far all’s well. Kyle’s great.”
“Said no girl ever. Wow. That’s good to hear. Kudos to you.”
Willow and I talked until dinner started and Clive came to the table. The two of them got engaged by Tyler who was sitting next to Clive. Staring at the empty seat next to me, I wondered what Min-Jun had to tell Kyle that was so time sensitive. By the time Kyle and Min-Jun came back, the first course had already been served. I must have looked a tad miffed, as he was instantly apologetic.
He sat down and gave my hand a gentle squeeze. “I’m sorry, darling. Had to discuss an important matter. What did I miss?”
Willow, who was eavesdropping, said, “Oh, father loved Juniper like instant coffee. He hoped you were serious about her or else.”
“Brat. Can’t you just mind your own affairs?” Kyle frowned and picked up his soup spoon, his eyes on Min-Jun, who sat down across from him.
At his reaction, my heart dipped into the butternut squash soup. Trying to stay under the radar, I was quiet. Dinner was an edgy affair with several long and pointless speeches. Kyle’s father rambled on about family ties, Marissa gave us random quotes about holiday love, and Royce, in his longwinded way, urged his family to support his campaign. Willow turned Royce’s speech into a drinking game. Every time Royce repeated his campaign slogan, ‘The Resolve, the Results, the Royce,’ Willow, Tyler, Clive and even Kyle took big gulps of their drinks while I tried to suppress my laughter.
Min-Jun was not amused and ate in silence except for when she leaned over the table to frequently chat with Kyle. If the rumors about them were false, they took no care to dispel them. In Min-Jun’s face, I saw what the others did when she looked at Kyle—the light of hero worship. Just when I had learned to trust Kyle, doubt was infecting my heart like a malicious virus.
By the time dessert was served, Kyle switched the force of his limelight to me. He went from aloof boyfriend to seducing stud. Under the table, my hand became his hostage. His hands lingered on my knee and his leg trapped mine against my chair leg. It was hard to keep a straight face. Glaring at his entertained expression, I poked his hand and his thigh with a fork twice, but he did not stop. By the time dinner ended, I was a raging hormonal mess.
When Marissa stated it was time to withdraw to the ballroom, Kyle whispered, “Let’s go upstairs, June-Bug.” Leaning closer, he kissed my cheek and Willow cheered his public display of affection.
I became a stuttering mass of nerves. “Kyle, you need to b-behave.”
In response, he kissed my other cheek. Slow and sexy. So hot. So juvenile.
Willow and Clive applauded and I noticed Denise staring at us while Min-Jun looked at Kyle with an odd look in her haunting eyes.
“Everyone is staring at us,” I whispered.
“No one can keep their eyes off you.”
Smiling like the degenerate he was, Kyle grabbed my hand, stood up and steered me out with everyone staring at our retreating backs. The second we were in the hall and out of earshot, he began laughing.
“You should have seen your face. I need a BeesEye on you at all times.”
I punched his chest. “Kyle Paxton, how could you! You behaved like a horny teen on prom night.”
“That’s how you make me feel, baby.”
His face was inches away and I drew back on seeing a uniformed server pass by.
“Ugh. You even sound like a cheesy eighties song.”
“Let’s go upstairs. Right now.” Kyle draped his arms over my shoulders. “I like this dress, but I want to see you without it.”
“I want to see the events in the ballroom.”
“Sure. If you agree to a private pajama party with me.”
“Fine. I’ll stay tonight. But no pajama party until everyone else leaves. Deal?”
“The inhibited way you think beats me. Did anyone tell you how repressed you are?”
“Did anyone tell you how debased you are?” I asked, arms akimbo.
“All the time. Come closer and I’ll give you a demo.”
To distract him, I asked, “Can you give me a tour? Your dad’s house is as big as the museum.”
“Yeah. It’s a measly thirty two thousand square feet set on six acres.”
“Madness. How big is your house?”
“Less than three thousand.”
“I like that so much better. I don’t feel lost in it. Hmm, you’re usually so precise. You said ‘less than’...did I break Kyle Paxton?”
“You did. Best thing ever. My breaking.” He pressed my hand on his heart.
I put my other hand on his heart as well. “You are my best thing too.”
Smiling like a tour guide, Kyle took me through a dizzying number of exquisite and lavish rooms. If the room was empty, Kyle planted a smacking kiss on my lips, saying he wanted to kiss me in every room. I lost count of how many bedrooms, bathrooms and living rooms we passed and how many kisses I got. The sprawling estate boasted two kitchens, a library, a movie theater, a music room, two game rooms, a billiards room, a tennis court, and two pools—one outside and one inside. On exiting the glass pool structure, we heard distant music.
“Oh, the live music has started. I want to dance. Let’s go,” I said.
“Let’s not.” Kyle’s striking black brows elevated and he pulled me to him. One muscled arm, trussed and bulging even in a custom suit, traveled around my waist and the other held up my hand. He began dancing me around the empty hall, our bodies aligned and in perfect synch.
Pleased, I smiled up at him. “I thought you don’t dance.”
“I do when there is no one. When no music is playing. And when I’m with my girl.”
My girl. My heart leapt. I liked that more than June-Bug. His arms tightened around my body and I dissolved into him. “You should dance. You’re good at it.”
“I’m rusty. The last time I danced was seven years ago.”
“With Chloe?”
Kyle did not respond. I cringed at the detachment in his eyes. I was never quite sure if Kyle was my perfect stranger or my perfect familiar. Falling into uncertainty, I flushed and nuzzled my head on his chest. My heart waltzed to the faraway music as he spun me for a blissful few minutes. When he released me, I looked around. Three caterers carrying drink trays smiled as they filed past us. Kyle and I exchanged sheepish grins. We had ended up in a rotunda from where two wings of the house flowed. I looked up. The curved ceiling had a Renaissance style mural with warriors and gods and featured Kyle’s father in ancient robes coming out from parting clouds.
“Well, that’s thought-provoking,” I said, my face upturned.
Kyle smirked. “Come on. Be honest. I’m positive you hate that.”
“I don’t,” I said. “It’s the way your father sees the world. From above. Like the immortals looking down at the masses.”
“Such an art snob.”
“Dude, I can’t afford to be a snob. My entire apartment can fit in that mural.”
“Then move in with me.”
“What?” I swiveled around in shock. The low light outlined the well-defined edges of his face and my eyes traced his beloved features in confusion.
What did I just hear?
“Move. In. With. Me.”
After a pause, I said, “Kyle, tell me you’re joking.”
“Why not?” His eyes lit up with infectious optimism. “I can’t stay away from you. I can’t function without you. Move in with me till July.”
“You know I feel the same way...”
Wait. Did he say till July?
“Good then. We’ve made a mutual decision. You can work remotely for the museum and—”
“Not possible. I can’t leave work or Cypress.”
“Okay. I’ll move here and work remotely. I’ll fly out for meetings. We’ll get a place in Ann Arbor and we’ll get a dog or two but no cats, please. I promise not to burn the bacon or complain about messy lasagna.”
“Oh, Kyle.” I teared up. That sounded as close to heaven as possible. But even my fantasies were edged with the dark frame of reality. “It sounds good in theory. Not reality. Neither of us can or should let work go.”
“When I’m away from you, I can’t work anyway.”
I reached for his hands and squeezed his fingers. “This is working out. Us flying in on weekends.”
“It’s not enough. I want you in my bed every single night.”
I let go of his hands and looked up. “So that’s what it’s about. You just want me in your bed.”
“No, idiot. I want you in my life.”
Only till July.
“I want you too. But...I don’t know.” This was the opposite of what he’d suggested just five weeks ago.
“What did we do, Juniper—every single hour we were apart? We texted. Talked all night long. Did not sleep. If we lived in one place, we could go to work without our heads exploding.”
“Kyle, please. I want that too...but you can’t upend my life and then disappear like we never happened. We are temporary and you’ve made that clear. I signed the Termination Contract. Let’s just enjoy the present and forget the future.”
The future.
The day Kyle would leave played in my head. He would smile, peck my cheek, and give me that intense ocean-blue stare one last time. Then he would tell me he had a great time and walk away to a new, pre-scheduled girl. My heart raced, my cheeks got hot and I locked eyes with my polished toes tucked in their new designer heels.
“Look at me, Juniper.” When I did not obey, he lifted my chin, so I met his penetrating gaze. “Why not make the best of the time we have? I met you halfway. I gave up all my rules for a relationship.”
“If you have changed, so have I. If you met me halfway, I did too,” I whispered.
“And we work. So why not raise the stakes?”
“Moving in won’t work. It’s a bad idea. It’ll get weird. More convoluted than it already is. Look, realistically speaking, we won’t last more than six months and I’m resigned to that.”
Kyle clenched his jaw hard and asked, “How can you say that after what we’ve been through?”
“I’ve come to terms with your initial proposal, Kyle. Time limits and no strings. It makes sense now. A clean-cut break-up, with no emotions involved. It works. But this halfway stuff—it’s confusing.”
His brow puckered. “Confusing, how?”
“The time we have is beautiful and if we live together we’ll ruin it. If I live with you, it’ll be harder for me to leave you. I get...attached...too fast and hard. When we part, I’ll be...heartbroken.”
“So will I.”
Peering into his sincere eyes, I almost believed him. For a fleeting second. “But that’s what you do. Part, I mean. I don’t want you to do something that you will regret.” I gave him a polite smile. “It’s all my fault for making you change the way you usually...operate.”
“Don’t say that. I didn’t do anything I didn’t want to.”
Squaring my shoulders, I took a deep breath. “Kyle, I used to think if I met a guy who made me feel like you do...that’d be it. In my stupid dreams, he had the same life goals as me. In reality, we have different goals...so that is why we are best temporary and not serious.”
He looked ticked off and stared at me silently. The distance grew between us, crackling in the air with its frustration and inability to express itself effectively.
I began to walk towards the boom and echo of the music coming our way. “The revue started.”
Kyle grabbed my wrist and jerked me to a stop. “This conversation is not over.”
Pulling away, I resumed walking. “As far as I’m concerned, it is.”
