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I stomped to the bedroom and sat down on the bed, thinking about what Denise had just said. Why was it whenever I met someone who knew Kyle, the milestones of our relationship crumbled to shreds? Perhaps because it had no foundations—and we were not a relationship after all. Just an ad hoc proxy. That is all we were. He had taken us further because I was different from the jaded, cynical girls he knew.
I was a novelty item in a box.
Once you opened the box, novelties became old, fast.
Behold. The Juniper Doll. Like no other. Best if used before July.
I needed to tell Kyle I was leaving. I picked up my phone, which I had left on the nightstand. Then I saw it was ringing. Kyle. I was about to tell him to drop me back home this instant but he explained his father wanted to meet me. Reluctantly, I agreed. One last pit stop before I left.
I followed the directions to his father’s room, still shaking with anger. To compose myself before I met Kyle, I took a few deep breaths and walked slowly, like a wounded flamingo with my eyes on the hand-painted ceiling.
Seeing me, Kyle smiled, caught both my hands in his and kissed my cheeks. “Sorry, I left you with the wolves.”
We were standing in front of double doors of bocote wood carved with stags and antelopes. I eased away from him to touch the realistic flora and fauna on the splendid door carvings.
“Why on earth does your father want to see me?”
“He’s really sick today and will not come down. He just wants to say hello.”
With his hand on the small of my back, Kyle led me inside.
I blinked in the dark. The room was musty and smelled of funky ammonia, disinfectant and summer breeze freshener. I saw Marissa’s feminine mark in the crushing red-and-gold décor that strangled the dark old wood furniture. Davis lay in a massive four-poster bed, hemmed in by oxygen machines and hospital monitors that beeped constantly. He was attached to various tubes and an oxygen mask was slung over his jaw. On seeing us, his nurse removed the mask and left the room.
I gulped and walked up to the headboard where Davis was propped up on a mound of fluffy pillows. He smiled, shifted his arm to greet me and three needles and tubes swayed with his every gesture. I grimaced and told him to relax and he said with an amused smile not to worry about his body piercings.
“So how are you doing?” I asked.
“I’m dying,” he replied.
“You’re not,” said Kyle.
“Well, I’m not getting any better. I’m an ugly old codger and I’ve used up every single living cell in my body. I face the finality of what lies beyond. And it bloody hurts and is scary as hell. That’s the truth, unless you wanted me to say I’m peachy keen.”
Seeing me wince, Kyle gently took my hand. “Father, she just asked how you were doing.”
“The death bed is not a place for pleasantries. That is why I cannot stomach that Denise woman with her bogus TV smiles and lies. She gives me the heebie-jeebies. And I have known my share of revolting tramps. Now, there was a specific reason I wanted to see you, Juno.”
“Juniper, father,” said Kyle with forced patience.
“That is a terrible name. I shall call you Juno,” said the intrepid old man.
“Sure,” I said with a laugh. “Please do.”
“A few years ago, as the president of the museum board, I remember you challenged me at meetings. Your boss shut you down. You were just a little girl, Juno, and you thought we all ignored you. I remember your passion for funding the arts. In those tiresome meetings, you stood out like a clown at a funeral.”
“Oh. I’m surprised you remember me.”
“Juno, don’t interrupt. Listen. Yes, I remember.” Davis jabbed his forehead with a frail finger. “I am dying...but see...this noggin, it still works. Sure enough, we noticed you. You are sharp as a pin and prickly as a cactus.”
“People often say I remind them of a cactus.”
Kyle and I exchanged smiled.
“There she goes—interrupting again. What a firecracker. Why do you talk so much?” Davis asked.
“Dad.” Kyle’s voice was a warning.
I saw humor in the old man’s eyes and just grinned under my hand.
“Juno, I need your help before I die. We need a director for the Paxton Foundation. A calm, cool, and sharp cactus who can deal with all the charities. Kyle is good with money but he can’t handle pinheads. I need you to be the liaison between this crazy boy of mine and all of those whiny nonprofits and even his own family.”
“Oh. I don’t think—” I began.
“Kyle, would you put a hand on her mouth. She has no manners. Keeps interrupting me. Juno, you are ideal for that role. Look, sassy girl, what I’m offering you is a chance to run the Paxton foundation. Also, lots and lots of money. Triple your current salary. Now you can speak.”
Kyle beamed. “The two of us agree. Past president and present president of the museum.”
I was stunned into silence for a few seconds and gulped. I wondered if Kyle had convinced his father to offer me this position. My eyebrows connected in disquiet. “Oh. Wow. First of all this is kind and so generous. Thank you both. I am so flattered but—”
Kyle groaned and interjected, “I told you she’d have a lot of buts.”
“It’s not that,” I murmured. “It’s just...I am at a place in my life where I love my work. The Paxton Foundation sounds like a remarkable institute and it will do fantastic things—”
“Cut the milk toast speech. Get to your point, honey child. I’m dying. I don’t have time for small talk. And don’t even bring up the weather.” Davis frowned and tiny lines creased around his mouth like a closing fan.
“You are funny.” In spite of the gloom and doom, I giggled and linked arms with Kyle. “I like where I am. Doing museum work and Celtic book research. Took me a while to get there. I am flattered, but I have to say no. If you want, I can help find somebody else.”
“Don’t you want to rise above your current situation?” Davis asked.
“I am happy for now,” I replied.
“Even if it is triple the amount you are getting?” Davis asked, shaking his head.
I hesitated. My salary was just enough to pay the bills and support my family. One day, I hoped to earn more but not at the expense of switching careers. And especially not at the mercy of the Paxtons. Also, I did not want to be stuck working so close to Kyle after we broke up in July.
“Yes,” I said.
“I did not take you to be such a foolish cactus,” Kyle’s father said in a grouchy way.
I smiled. The Paxtons really could not take no for an answer.
“I told you.” Kyle massaged the back of his neck and shrugged at his father. “It’s very hard to bribe her. She’s the most unmaterialistic person I know. We are all unworthy of her.”
“You asked me to run a foundation. How is that materialistic?” I asked Kyle.
Davis lifted a weak finger and rubbed it across his wispy hair. The catheters in his arm swayed, making my heart lurch. “Let’s try a new carrot and stick. What if you had an option to put funds towards your own research?”
“Yes.” Kyle’s amused eyes met mine. “If you were in charge of the Paxton Foundation, all you’d do is submit a proposal for the nonprofit institutes of your choice, for example, the Dublin Museum of Viking Helmets for Super-Nerdy Curators.”
“That is not a thing.” I chuckled.
“My point is you can change a lot...” Kyle’s voice trailed off at my tenacious look.
“Kyle. Think about it. I don’t want people speculating how I got this position.” Both Kyle and Davis started to speak at the same time, but I held up my hand. “Listen, please. I cherish my time with your son. He is amazing, Mr. Paxton. You must be so proud. And I don’t want to jeopardize my relationship with him.”
Davis shook his head. “Hogwash. Who cares what anyone thinks. Look, missy, you can fire up your own research...what the hell is your research again?”
“Celtic research,” Kyle and I said in unison.
We beamed at each other.
“Look at both of you. Already finishing sentences. Now Kyle, this is one special chick, I tell you. You should hold on to this one,” Davis said.
I felt the length of Kyle’s body stiffen beside me. “She is special.”
“Come closer, child.”
I bent over Davis and he kissed my cheek.
“What a sweet girl. Very different from the garden variety mind-numbing chicks you see these days. If I knew this girl as a young man, I’d have hidden her from the world. And Kyle, you would not have been born. If I had a girl like this, I’d never have married again. I would not keep trying and failing with other women. Why do you think I married six times? I am an incurable romantic. I’ve never been with any woman outside my marriage. That may be a surprise to you both.”
“Father, do you know what TMI means?” Kyle asked with a long sigh.
“I do not. All I know is take this girl. Hold her hand. Don’t ever let go. She is something else. See, skin is just banana peel. After meeting thousands of people...I can tell what’s inside the peel in a single glance. The moment I saw her peel, I knew. Kyle you should marry her.”
Marry!
We both froze, but Kyle recovered quickly and went from chill to irritable at lightning speed. “What the hell, Davis. We were talking about the foundation, remember?”
My mind went into shock. The idea of being married to me was hell to Kyle? How could he react with anger at the random musings of a senile man? Kyle’s reaction and the memory of Denise’s cutting words had me fuming. My fingers curved into fists and I shifted away from him. Longing to run, I looked at the door.
With a twinkle in his eyes, Davis winked. He misread my anger for fear of commitment. “Oh, you young people. So afraid of the M word.”
“Marriage is obsolete, old timer,” said Kyle in a failed attempt at levity.
“It went out the door with commitment,” I said, solemnly.
Kyle gave me a thoughtful glance.
Davis shook his head. “What is wrong with you young people? No one is getting married anymore. No one is having babies anymore. Hoarding your eggs and spermatozoa. For what? The human race will die out. All thanks to your selfish generation. Why do you all hate marriage so much?”
“You set a fantastic example of the perfect American marriage. Correction, half a dozen marriages. So I’m not stoked to get relationship advice from you,” Kyle said.
Willing this conversation to be over, effective immediately, I stepped forward, took Davis’s hand and shook it. “Thank you for your kind job offer. It was lovely to meet you and I had a delightful time and your house is beautiful.” My singsong tenor was as fake as Denise’s.
“What did I say, Juno? I hate small talk. Now I am really tired. Both of you leave at once. And you—” he said, pointing a trembling finger at me, “come back anytime and visit. I’ve got few kicks left in my bucket. I’d like to see you...before I die.”
“You are not dying,” Kyle and I said together.
“Oh yes, I am. Maybe tonight. Maybe tomorrow.”
I walked away from the bed with my head hung low, my mind buzzing with one word.
Marry!
Out in the hall, Kyle seized my elbow and asked, “Are you okay? I’m sorry about that.”
“Sorry for what?” I asked, brushing off his hand. “I am grateful your father considers me good enough to hire.”
And you are outraged he considers me good enough to marry.
He searched my face. “About the other thing...”
I lifted my chin up high and met his eyes. “To clarify and erase doubt, I am not interested in marrying you.”
I started walking down the hall and Kyle fell in step with me.
“That is not what my father meant, Juniper. I don’t want you to misunderstand. You mean so much to me.”
“We are just having fun. Let’s not make us something that we are not.”
Kyle froze. Gripping my upper arms, he forced me to halt and face him. Just then, Davis’s nurse passed by, shooting us curious looks. I faked a smile and she nodded politely.
When she was out of earshot, he said, “Let’s not revisit this topic.”
What the hell did he think? Did he think I saw him as a potential rich husband? I almost choked at the thought. “No let’s. I want to be sure you don’t get the wrong idea about me.”
“June-Bug. No need.”
He let me go and made a sharp right towards the staircase bannister. I grabbed his forearms and stopped him in his tracks. He looked mildly provoked and I realized I was pushing him into the unwanted territory of drama. But I wanted to make sure he had no doubts about my intentions.
“Need. So take notes. I am not interested in marrying anyone. Least of all you.”
Kyle’s eyes flashed in anger. “What do you mean by least of all me?”
“This is not a life I want. If I ever ever ever settle down, it’ll be with someone who shares my values and goals. To whom family and love matters, not just money and power. I like you, Kyle. A lot. But I am not a fool to think for a second you are a ring-minivan-diaper-changing-settling-down kind of guy. You’d be a disaster husband.”
“Great to hear your honest opinion.” His stare and voice was frosty.
“Listen, Kyle. You are a good person. So what if you don’t have traditional life goals? I have no expectations from you. But I want you to know...I don’t aspire to be part of your family. Everywhere I turn, someone is out to prove I am a nobody. So what is it that makes a person a somebody? A Bugatti? A tennis court? The game of fate that says being born rich is the only goal of life? Well, then my eggs are screwed.”
“I didn’t bring you here to make you uncomfortable.”
“I know. I know. But I also know I am being judged for my worth. I am seen as a cheap gold digger. How can they think that? I know...this...all of this...comes with a price.” I waved my hands around the empty hall. “In the form of greedy banshees like Denise. In the form of victims like Colt. In the form of multiple boozy wives. Multiple divorces. Multiple stepsiblings. Multiple legal battles. This is what the future is for anyone looking to hook a Paxton.” I spat out his surname as if it were a swear word.
“Juniper.” His somber eyes pleaded with me to stop.
But when had I ever walked away from a fight or shut up during a rant?
“So how can anyone think that I would ever contemplate the illogical, moronic, life-ruining, twatty idea of marriage to you?”
“Hey, hey. Calm down.” His hands spanned my rib cage and he brought me to his chest. “You did get the wrong idea.”
I put my palms on my face. Why was it that we were always at odds? Grateful only one of us was mad, I sighed and whispered against his shoulder, “I’m sorry. That came out wrong. It’s not even directed at you. Just effing human nature. It’s just that...I can see life beyond the few seconds of the present. I met you just two months ago. I have known you intimately for three quick weeks...for God’s sake. And if one more person assumes I am after your money or I want to marry you I’ll—”
“Who else assumes that? What the hell are you saying?”
I lurched way from him, not willing to share my lethal conversation with Denise. “I am quick to anger and I’m sorry. I really am sorry. Let’s just enjoy the rest of the day.”
“Yes, Juniper. You’ve been with me for three weeks, but I know when you are upset. Let me explain.”
“You don’t have to explain anything. It is clear. I am your friend-with-benefits. That is it.”
And it was obvious—a visible force field all of his family could see and sneer at.
“Stop saying that.” Kyle’s jaw clenched and his hands went to the back of his neck, massaging it as if he was exhausted. “God, it’s always back to square one with you.”
“I have an expiration date, Kyle. And I’ve come to like this idea of bang and dash.”
“I told you I want to move in with you. You keep pushing me away.”
“I’m a realist. I don’t think we work as girlfriend and boyfriend. This weekend proves I am right.” I kept my voice even but as soon as the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them.
Kyle took off his glasses to gaze at me and his searching azurite blues made me pause. He looked disappointed, hurt and vulnerable at my outburst. “That is harsh. I. Am. Trying. You are not.”
Kyle is trying. I am a hot mess. I looked down and saw the bracelet he had given me last night. It had crept out from under my long sleeves and fingering his meaningful gift, I felt a stab of shame. “I don’t know, Kyle.”
His hand went to cup my chin and he lifted my face, forcing me to meet his eyes. “You know what the problem is? You are scared. You know what you want but you’re running in the opposite direction. I get it. I get you. You went through hell. And you think only Cypress got affected by being bullied. By not having a normal family. You were so busy taking care of everyone, you never noticed your own issues. You have major trust issues based on the people who weren’t there for you. But you can’t treat everyone in your future based on your past.”
I stared at him vacantly for a few seconds. “I guess. Maybe...that’s why I’ve never been with someone. Not because I was afraid of physically being with a guy, but really being with someone. With you—I want to. But I don’t know how to.”
At that moment, we heard loud voices floating up the stairs. We looked down the stair landing where another dramatic episode was taking place. Royce and Denise were talking with Min-Jun, who, for some unknown reason, was in their company.
“Colt. Colt! Where are you? Mommy has to go,” Min-Jun screamed.
Alarmed, Kyle ran down the stairs with me in tow. They all looked up and I avoided making eye contact with Denise. My wish to never see that rotten woman again was not coming true.
“What is going on?” Kyle asked Min-Jun.
“Oh, Kyle. I have to leave soon. I told Colt and he went and hid. I looked all over. I can’t find him anywhere,” she whispered, blinking back tears.
“We’ve looked everywhere. Every single goddamn inch of this house,” added Royce.
“He’s just hiding,” Denise piped up.
Kyle’s eyes darted around the foyer. “Alright. Let’s split up. Royce, take the basement and game rooms. Juniper and I will go up. Min-Jun, look on the main floor. We’ll find him.”
We scurried off in different directions. Our own issues forgotten, Kyle and I rushed upstairs and started searching in the first unoccupied bedroom. We searched every room, bathroom, and storeroom. We peeked in the bathtubs, looked under the beds, rifled in the closets, and even searched the freezing balconies—but we did not find Colt. Neither did the others. After the futile hunt, all of us gathered at the foot of the stairs again.
Royce was visibly tense and Min-Jun was on the verge of hysteria. Tears ran down her face and she threw herself into Kyle’s arms. “He is nowhere. Oh God, what do we do now?”
“Don’t worry. We’ll find him. The little punk just doesn’t want to leave,” Kyle said soothingly.
Min-Jun let out a sob and pressed her knuckles against her mouth. “This is so stressful. We have a flight to catch.”
“Well, you should discipline him better,” said Denise. “I watch that kid and he has mega behavior issues.”
“Denise,” said Royce with a warning look.
“What if he has run away? Should we call the police?” Min-Jun asked Kyle.
“No need to call the police. We’ll find him,” said Royce.
Denise laughed. “Good god. Children get lost. Stop turning everything into major drama.”
“You be quiet,” said Min-Jun. “Obviously you don’t care. He’s not your child.”
“What?” Denise snapped. “I always end up taking care of him. Always. I'm not even married to Royce yet and I'm already Colt's step-mama.”
Kyle and Min-Jun exchanged knowing glances.
“You’re not helping, dear,” Royce said quietly to Denise and she rolled her eyes.
“It’s hard, okay? Colt is hard. Even his nanny says he’s spoiled,” said Denise.
“That’s what happens to children whose daddies leave. He feels abandoned, hurt, fearful, and lost,” said Min-Jun softly to Royce.
I examined her. She was as fragile as fall frost on a lake and her voice as low and lyrical as the wind over said lake. I saw why Royce had married her though not why he left her. She was feminine, seductive and beautiful in a dreamlike way and I saw both brothers look at her with varying levels of emotion in their eyes. But they were unreadable emotions.
“Colt is a great kid. He’s just projecting our stress,” Royce said, gruffly.
“None of you own up to how much I do for Colt. In return, I get hated on,” whined Denise.
Min-Jun fixed Royce with a martyr’s look. “You should be taking care of him. Not her.”
“He has a campaign to run, missy. America needs him more than a snotty brat,” Denise yelled, her drop-diamond earrings swinging at every syllable.
“You see this? She is why I filed for sole custody,” Min-Jun said with a sniff.
“I want shared custody and will never give up on Colt,” snapped Royce.
Min-Jun teared up. “You gave up on him when you picked her.”
“Denise watching Colt is like asking vampires to heal bleeding soldiers,” said Kyle.
Ironically, Denise hissed at Kyle like a vampire. “You stay out of this.”
Royce glared at Kyle. “Min-Jun, why’d you hafta drag Kyle into our affairs? You and I could’ve worked it out.”
“Kyle is my rock. My friend. My only lifeline,” said Min-Jun. “Without him, Colt and I would be at the mercy of your she-wolf.”
Looking down kindly at her, Kyle squeezed Min-Jun’s shoulders. My heart softened. Kyle was her savior and his inclination to help others was heroic. What I did not understand was why he reacted to Denise and Min-Jun with such emotional force.
“Just great. Not married yet and I’m a default demonized stepmom. I put aside my life to take care of your child. Well, I’m done with this hellish theater you two have going on. I want out,” Denise screamed, her face splotching purple and red.
I was shocked at the heat in her voice, which was 100 degrees Fahrenheit above the heat of the current conversation.
“I said Colt needs discipline and you all jump on me. Typical Paxtons. You all just use, abuse and suck people dry,” she said.
“Calm down, sweetheart.” Royce tried to take Denise in his arms and she twisted away.
“Get it together. What was the last thing Colt saw? Let’s figure out why he ran away and we’ll find him,” said Kyle, in a take-charge way.
“He heard Royce and me argue in the dining room,” Min-Jun said. “I saw Colt snooping. When I said we’re leaving, he ran down the hall. It’s normal for kids of divorce to react this way. They get sad. And when it's time for their mommy and daddy to part again, they get sadder. It underpins the original trauma.”
Perhaps lulled by the gentle waves of Min-Jun’s soothing voice, Denise calmed down. “You should’ve thought of that before you stepped out of your marriage, Mommy-of-the-Year.”
Though stated in her sweet-fake way, the malice level was off-the-charts. I guess adding insult to injury was her LinkedIn top skill. Denise tossed a meaningful glance at Kyle and both brothers bristled.
Oh no. The rumors about Kyle and Min-Jun can’t be true.
“You are a high-class...liar.”
Kyle gave Denise a look, and though it was not directed at me, I shivered at the intensity of his hate. As a rule, Kyle was composed and cool and I had never seen this side of him. Denise’s words came drifting back to me. She knew about his system and Kyle’s hatred for her was so personal, so deep-rooted and so visceral, I wondered if Denise and Kyle had a past.
I choked up. No. No. No. God. Please, that cannot be.
The thought of Min-Jun and Kyle together was unbearable. Even worse was the awful image of Kyle and Denise together. It wasn’t possible. But then again, I did keep bumping into Kyle’s ex-buddies. I grimaced at the sour taste of suspicion and jealously on my tongue. Were these the thoughts of a normal woman? If I had relationships in the past like normal girls my age, would I still think this way? Was this jealousy borne out of my lack of experience? Or was I just a terrible person? But then Kyle Paxton was a singular person with a strange system and a checkered past.
So maybe it wasn’t me—it was him.
I sent out a silent prayer. Dear God, I know you have a lot going on, but please let me never meet another one of Kyle’s exes again. Kyle is amazing personified but the people who surround him are endless drama. This is—as you may recall—my first ever relationship. And so far, it has been a doozy. I am not handling it well. So please, banish Kyle’s exes from my life.
P.S. God, please help us find Colt, fast.
Royce pulled Denise behind him. “Kyle, stop bashing Denise. You did enough damage on Thanksgiving. You need a shrink.”
“You’re a duped fool so I’ve got nothing but pity for you. Ditch her. Or the rest of your days will suck, bro,” Kyle hissed.
The muscles on Royce’s neck bulged and he snarled at Kyle. “How dare you! I felt sorry for you when you were young and alone. Now I see why your mother left you. Hateful pest.”
Why your mother left you...
Royce was hitting below the belt.
Taking a step back, I zoned out. I heard nothing—all I saw was a pantomime of the hatred and scorn dripping from their lips. I could not wait to get away from here. Kyle was right. His family was a toxic spectacle and being in their presence would make anyone stressed and miserable. I would not exchange my sweet, simple, broke-ass family with this crazy, boozy, loaded one for the world.
“Focus everyone. We need to find Colt,” said Kyle at full volume and I snapped out of my reverie.
It was then we heard a cry from upstairs. “Uncle Kyle. Uncle Kyle. Where were you? I was looking for you. Mommy said we have to go but I don’t wanna.”
“Colt,” Min-Jun shrieked.
We looked up. All of us screamed in unison. Colt was indeed there...looking down at us, but not from behind the banister. He was on the banister...which he was straddling like a horse. He decided to put himself in further danger by standing on the edge of the handrail.
“Stop. Stop! Colt get down!”
The hall erupted with shouts and there was so much screaming I had no idea who said what. I remember the seconds stretching unbearably long. I remember how scared stiff I was Colt would fall. My guts twisted into ugly knots. I felt empty—the way I felt whenever Cypress had been bullied and beaten to the point I was afraid there would be permanent damage.
Royce and Min-Jun dashed up the stairs at breakneck speed and Kyle ran directly under the landing with his arms stretched to catch Colt, should he fall. Frozen for a few awful seconds, I ran to Kyle. Denise did not move. Royce and Min-Jun reached Colt, and for a second, I was certain he would fall as he struggled to gain his balance on the polished wood banister. My reflex scream mingled with the cries from Min-Jun.
Just as Colt lost his balance and tottered forward, Royce’s arms snaked around his son and he dragged him to safety. I exhaled, my hands flying over my mouth. For a few seconds, there was nothing but our ragged breaths in the silence.
Min-Jun cried softly as she and Royce held Colt sandwiched between them, their arms wrapped around each other. Denise was staring at them with pure hate waves radiating off her. Man, that woman was totally consumed by her hate. She was a killing jar—a jar full of poison. They say a jar of poison hurts its vessel the most. My revulsion for Denise switched to pity. I could imagine how awful living with her toxic mind must be.
Colt twisted out of his parents’ grip and grinned up at them. “Does this mean you guys are staying? Can we? Please?”
“No. We have to go now.” Min-Jun collected her wits and wiped her tears.
She walked down the stairs and dragged Colt, twisting and kicking, behind her. He called out for his father and Royce walked stony-faced behind them, avoiding looking at his child. Once down, Colt broke away from his mother and ran up to Kyle, who swung him up in the air, and put him down with a forbidding look.
“Not cool, buddy. Don’t do that to your mom. Where were you hiding?”
“In grandpa’s room. Under his bed. I heard all the secrets. Like when you and dad were fighting. And when grandpa tried to kiss Nurse Sally. Also when grandpa asked the museum lady to marry you, Uncle Kyle.” Colt giggled.
“What the hell!” Denise gasped.
“Colt, stop,” Min-Jun said.
The three adults stared from Kyle to me. All of them unhappy.
“No one is getting married,” Kyle said harshly.
Kill me now.
At that moment, Tyler and his entourage decided to make an entrance. Unaware of their surroundings, they came down the stairs laughing and shoving each other. “Good morning, everyone,” said Tyler cheerfully.
“It is 3:12 p.m.” Kyle glared at him.
“Why so glum, Real Housewives of Ann Arbor?” Tyler came to a standstill and his group clustered behind him.
It was then Willow and Clive ran up to us, breathless. They were wearing bathing suits—and in desperate need of towels—as their suits were dripping water all over the marble floor. Kyle and I grinned at each other.
“What’s up with all the yelling? Did I miss an epic fight?” Willow asked.
Royce explained what had happened as more and more Paxtons appeared out of the woodwork.
Meeting my tired gaze, Kyle stretched a hand out to me. I took it and he led me to a room nearby. It was the library. Kyle grinned and closed the door.
“You can be assured no Paxton ever uses this room. Except the philosophy section by Tyler.”
I walked to the fireplace and stretched out my hands. “At least the fire is lit.”
“Yeah. We just burn the books.”
I smiled. “Hey, some Paxtons are crazy but not all Paxtons are crazy.”
“You and I need Paxton PTSD sex. ASAP.” He strode up to me.
I laughed. “For sure.”
Kyle patted my hips and yanked me to him. “Right here?”
“Hold on, Barry Allen. Not here. Whew.” I sank against his chest, luxuriating in his warmth. “That was insane. I’m glad Colt is okay.”
“Except he’s not. He’s really hurting. Stuck in the nastiest divorce in Paxton history.”
“It is kind of you to help Colt.”
He shrugged and pulled me closer. “Reminds me of my childhood—when my parents split up. I was a little turd. You know what I did?” I shook my head against his chest. “I burned down my garage. Feel free to hate me.”
“You what?” I pulled away to scan his face.
“After the divorce, Mother and I were at Seacliff. Things were dark and blah. I thought if we had no home in San Francisco, we’d come back to Ann Arbor and my parents would reunite. God, I was a dumb ten year old. So I took matches and newspapers in the garage. Lit them on fire. Tried to run...got stuck in an old tennis net. In freaking horror, I watched the fire spread to me.”
“Oh no. Were you hurt?”
He looked at the spitting fireplace. “Just smoke inhalation. Thankfully, Pat, our driver, saved me. The garage burned down. Firefighters salvaged the house. I’ll never forget Mother’s face when I told the cops I started the fire. She looked at me like I was a nutjob. She never looked at me the same again. Gave up on me after that. Was convinced I tried to kill us both and I’d grow up to be a serial killer. Perhaps she is right...I am capable of bad, bad things.”
“Kyle, you are not. You are not.”
I pulled his head down and my lips found his. He responded in a flash. Frenzied hands went under my shirt and he slammed me against his body kissing me and walking me backwards. My back hit the bookshelf and we kissed for a long time. When I pulled away, my eyes were glazed with love and his with lust.
And then he said a random thing, “I told you, Juniper, I am incapable of love. And no one ever has or should love me.”
My heart soared against his words and I said the stupidest thing, “Not true. I love you.”
Instead of responding, he took a deep breath, shut his eyes and turned his back to me.
My heart broke into a thousand tiny bits. Hands on my face, I went to the door. What was wrong with me? Three weeks with the world’s biggest commitment-phobe and I tell him I love him.
Too soon. Too soon. Too soon.
With Kyle, maybe never is too soon.
In an instant, Kyle marched up to me and slipped between me and the door. “Stop. Stop running away, Juniper. I need you. In bed. Upstairs. Right now.”
So that’s how it was going to be? He was going to ignore what I had said. With this request, Kyle had reduced me to what I truly was. His fuck-buddy. Not a person he loved.
“Sure,” I said dully.
