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December 26, 7:21 p.m. 44 seconds
(Tai Sushi, Detroit)
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The four of them—Kyle, Juniper, Willow and Clive—left Tai, Detroit’s top sushi restaurant, earlier then they had planned. Their dinner double date had been surprisingly fun. Clive and Kyle had saved the day with sake-induced humor. They teased and ribbed the girls mercilessly until the four of them were a heap of laughter and the other restaurants patrons were frowning at their corner booth.
Kyle watched Juniper throughout the meal, her happiness warming his heart. After she had told him she loved him, Kyle had been troubled by her state of mind. She was quiet and obedient as they made love and she was quieter still on the drive to the restaurant. Kyle liked defiant and sassy Juniper, not submissive and dutiful Juniper. He liked her restaurant mood. It was good to hear her laugh and respond to his sunnier side.
Their fun turned sour when Clive was besieged with photo requests. It seemed a fellow restaurant patron had posted photos of Clive Anderson and Willow Paxton on Twitter and alerted both paparazzi and fans. Juniper bailed as soon as she saw the cameras and the phones turned on the whole group. Putting on Kyle’s sunglasses and Clive’s cap, she went and sat in the car.
At first, Clive and Willow amiably took pictures with whoever approached them. But soon it became a zoo and they looked around frantically to escape. Kyle and the restaurant staff escorted them away from a mob of fans to Clive’s car.
By the time Kyle got back to his car, happy Juniper had evaporated. He saw her light mood was borne out of social necessity. Now, as he drove her back home, her attention was focused on searching for any photos of her with Kyle on social media posts. Juniper’s fears of the public discovery of their affair stung him.
His attempts at conversation were met with insincere and curt answers.
Frustrated, Kyle gritted his teeth and clenched his jaw. What did he expect? He had freaked out when his father had said the M word. And when Juniper had confessed she loved him, Kyle had given her the cold shoulder—literally. Then he had all but dragged her to his bed to screw her hard.
Son-of-a-bitch!
That’s what he was. Not only had he ruined the weekend, he had pushed her away one time too many and now there was no way around this distance between them. He slammed the steering wheel.
Alarmed, Juniper looked up from her phone. “All okay?”
“Yep. That blue BMW ass cut me off when he switched lanes,” he lied.
She nodded and looked down at her phone again.
He took a deep breath. “Hey, let’s plan our trip next week. We’re going to Turks and Caicos. Remember I told you a I have a friend who owns an island there?”
Juniper cleared her throat. “No, I don’t think so. I think we should take a break.”
“Are you serious? You want to end things?” His voice broke.
“Not take a break from each other. Just from meeting every weekend. Kyle, I’ve got to focus on work. The panel discussions with Dean Dillon. My book.”
“Is this because of what happened this weekend?” he asked.
“No. Not at all. We’ve spent a lot of time together and it’s been a crazy, fantastic ride. But we need to focus on things we’ve neglected.”
“Speak for yourself.” He was brusque. “I’ve neglected nothing.”
“Give me one weekend and I’ll be with you next weekend. Nothing...has changed,” she whispered, her voice shaky with hesitation.
Screw it.
Life was so much easier when he didn’t have relationship eggshells to walk on. Kyle frowned and drove in silence the rest of the way.
In front of her apartment, they got out and Juniper smiled sweetly up at him. “Thank you so much for everything this weekend.”
“Cut the platitudes.”
She giggled out of the blue. “You sound like your father.”
“Yeah. My family is full of cheer and joy. It will be great to get out of Ann Arbor.” He paused for a beat. “I should not have taken you to the Paxton’s pit of hell.”
“Don’t say that. It was great. Your family is great.”
“Stop lying. You hated it.”
Awkward.
“No, I didn’t. Allow me to speak for myself.” She looked down and bit her lip nervously. “Um. I almost forgot. I wanted to thank you for finding my father. That was kind.”
“You saw the file?”
She nodded and scuffed her boot toe in the snow. “Truly kind of you. And thank you so much for this.” Shyly, she held up her wrist and pushed up her sleeve to reveal the gold bracelet. It looked beautiful. “It’s too much.”
“Enough with the useless gratitude,” Kyle said, pissed at how polite and distant she was.
She eased up on tiptoe and kissed both of his cheeks. “Goodbye, Kyle. Don’t be angry at me.”
“Damn it, Juniper. I’m not angry at you—I’m angry at myself.”
“Why would you say that?”
She shook her head in confusion, dislodging the waves of her caramel hair from under her adorable green knit cap. On impulse, he grabbed it off her head and knotted her hair in his hand. Dragging her to his chest, he kissed her roughly. When she broke away, her eyes wide and troubled—his heart tightened. He saw the same look in Juniper’s eyes he had seen in all the people who had misunderstood him over the years.
Right before he pushed them away.
Forever.
He took a deep breath and for the first time since he had known her, he talked to her without making eye contact. “I keep pretending that it’s all okay. That I’m okay. But I’m not. And when I’m with you and you’re lovely inside out...I see myself in your eyes...and I know I’m wrong. You know all those doubts you had about us? Well, they were dead on. You were right and I was wrong. I should have kept away from you.”
He finally looked at her. Even in the dim arc of light from the car, Kyle made out the green flecks in her hazel eyes—torn between confusion and sadness. There was a bridge between them, and he could not cross it. You could not kiss it away. You could not screw it away. It was just there. He was helpless at its width and span.
His throat hurt, like he’d swallowed barbed wire.
Leave. Now.
Blindly, Kyle got into the car, without giving her as much as a backward glance. “Goodbye, Juniper.”
He revved the engine and drove away. And when he finally forced himself to look at the rearview, he saw Juniper standing still in the snow, forlorn and small. She got smaller and smaller. His heart stilled. He no longer saw her. Juniper vanished and Chloe replaced her. It was raining, not snowing.
And Chloe was not silent; she was screaming.
Her voice echoed in the silent car. “Next time you see me, Kyle Paxton, I’ll be dead. Know that you are my murderer.”
