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Morning came with a whisper of light streaming in through the cracks of the shades.
I glanced over at Lorelei. She'd been resting so peacefully that I could not bring myself to wake her. Our journey had lasted this long, it could wait an hour more. I wandered out to collect berries for her morning meal.
When I returned, the peaceful girl I'd left was gone, and in her place was a girl full of rage and blame.
Lorelei waved parchment pages in the air like she was swatting flies. Standing in the too-short shift and long socks, her hair pointing in every direction, she looked unhinged.
"I saw them," she hissed. "I found the letters. You've been communicating with the Shades?"
"I have." I took a step toward her, and she backed up a step.
Her eyes flashed with anger. "And they've offered you passage into the human world for me, if you bring them Adrius."
"They did." Another step forward. She backed up two.
Her eyes lit with sadness, then disappointment, then back to anger. "Seriously Zanthiel, negotiating with Demons...of all the horrible things you've ever done. This is the worst."
A dark smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. "You think this is the worst I've done? Clearly you don't know me well at all."
I took another two steps to where she stood, and she backed up until her legs hit the bed behind her.
"How could you? You betrayed me!" she shouted. Her hands lifted and a ball of fire shot from her fingertips straight for me. I ducked, letting it hit the back wall before I dowsed it with ice to extinguish the flames. Tilak won't be happy about that one.
She prepared to blast me with another fireball. I wrestled her onto the bed, pinning her hands above her head. "Your dark magic is getting out of hand," I grunted, holding her down. "Now listen to me." I spoke with controlled anger.
Lorelei squirmed, her face twisted in rage. "Get off of me before I scream."
"You're screaming already. And if you don't stop, we'll have every manner of dark beast descending upon us." I shifted onto her hips, straddling her legs and holding her wrists firmly in place. "You're jumping to conclusions again."
She bucked her hips, trying to throw me off. "You made a deal with the Shades to hand him over. You've been wanting Adrius dead, and now you've finally got your chance."
"You're getting closer to the truth," I said, my jaw tensing. "And I admit, killing him has its appeal." Her body twisted beneath me, and I eased myself up off her, keeping her hands pinned in place. "Just hear my explanation. Alright?" I gave a stiff nod, then released her. And remember Tilak’s hovel is flammable.”
She scrambled to her feet and leapt off the bed, heading for the door. My arm circled her waist, catching her in mid-air and bringing her back down onto the bed beside me.
Her fists started pummeling my chest. "We trusted you," she hollered. "I trusted you."
I blew out an exasperated sigh. "I will give you exactly one minute to get this tantrum out of your system before I stop you," I said with steely calm.
She kept at it for a few more seconds, before her strength and anger waned, then she fell backwards on her elbows. Tears rimmed her eyes, but only one slipped down her cheek. Unable to help myself, I swept it away with my thumb.
I tried to push calming thoughts into her mind, but she shut me out.
"Your mind-control tricks aren't going to work this time," she hissed. Bolting upright, she pulled herself into the far corner of the bed, massaging her wrists. "Start talking." Her voice was hoarse and strained, and though she refused to cry, her eyes were glassy.
"I did not bargain with the Shades to end Adrius's life," I said. "That is not what this is about. If I'd wanted him dead yesterday, he would have been dead yesterday." I shrugged a shoulder. "He isn't. And while I admit it’s tempting, there are bigger issues at stake." I knelt on the bed in front of her, wanting her to really hear me this time. "This offer the Shades made is not just for you, Lorelei. They have offered passage for two into the human world."
She blinked, not fully understating or perhaps even believing what I was saying. "Both of us?" Her brows furrowed.
"Yes. When will you realize I am not always the enemy here?" I pushed off the bed and strode to the hearth. My shift was dry, and although much too warm for my liking, I tugged it on over my head, and laced up the front.
"Zanthiel, I'm...I'm sorry. Again. I keep doubting you when I know I shouldn't." Her head dipped in shame. "I don't know why I always expect the worst."
"I'm a Winter Prince of the Unseelie Court, cast into the Shadows," I said icily. "You should expect the worst."
Her hand touched my shoulder and stayed there. "I can't always control it," she said quietly. "The dark fears that come up inside me. It’s harder to keep in check than my powers sometimes. Forgive me? I know you're just trying to help."
I turned to her, taking in her open, expressive face, and I melted. My hand found the small of her back. It was warm. Too warm. I knew if I kept it there, the distracting thoughts of the feel of her body beneath my fingers would prevent me from convincing her to return to him, if only for a short time.
Her dark gaze searched mine. "But there's something you're not telling me, and that scares me."
I lowered my hand. "I know you're afraid. But the point isn't to become fearless, Lorelei. That is not an achievable goal. The point is learning how to control fear so it doesn't control you. That is where you find true freedom."
She peered up at me from hooded lids. "I'd say you're pretty fearless."
"You're wrong. I'm not fearless."
"Okay, then name me something. Something you're afraid of. And don't say death, because everyone is afraid of death."
I cracked a small smile. "I do not fear death."
She threw her hands in the air. "See? Fearless."
It's true, there were not many things I feared. Neither death, nor pain, nor loss. But that did not make me fearless. Failing someone I'm loyal to. My own carnal Unseelie nature. Being unable to save those in my charge. Having my heart torn from me, again. Those fears burned deep in my core. "No. I am definitely not fearless," I repeated.
She gave me a sideways glance. "I think you're underestimating yourself. You're braver than anyone I've ever met. Every creature you've encountered you've slayed without hesitation. Not even an ounce of self-doubt with a fifty-foot dragon bearing down on you."
I grinned. "As I recall, you were the one facing the dragon."
She rolled her eyes and mock-glared at me. "You know what I mean. Bravery doesn't equate to fearlessness."
"Bravery is facing your fears. Standing your ground, staking your claim, and defending what is right."
Her dark eyes peered up at me, consuming another piece of my soul. "If that’s true, then maybe I shouldn’t be running. I mean, isn't that as good as saying I should stay and fight? Thing is, I don't want to fight." Her voice went quiet. "I never do."
"I don't want that for you either. And it is not what I'm saying. Facing your fears is not the same thing as self-preservation. Your fears will be tested again and again. This will not be the end, and you need to know your own mettle, know all that you are capable of. Like I do."
A slight smile pulled at the corners of her lips. "You do know how to stir up trouble, don't you?" she said, shaking her head slightly.
I beamed at her. "My specialty." Glancing out the window behind her, I asked the question I’d had from the moment I saw her. "Where is he?"
"Adrius? He's in Ciúin. I heard about the note your friend delivered from the water maiden. Adrius was called away for a few days, so I came alone."
"And he let you come without him? I’m surprised."
"He’s not my keeper, Zanthiel. And he should know by now I can protect myself.” Her voice fell softer. “I’ve proven that more times than I can count."
"Listen to me," I said, "you have to leave this place."
"I know. That's what I've been trying to do. In case you haven't noticed, I've been failing."
She looked more like the lost girl I used to visit in the night. "I know. But there is more you are not aware of. You are walking into a trap. Unless you both leave immediately, you will be caught."
"By who?" She frowned.
The Mythlandrian Court. The Winter Court. The Shadow Court. An endless stream of greedy, bloodthirsty bounty hunters. I pushed a hand through my hair. "Does it matter who?" There were countless beings hunting them, one worse than the next. "What matters is that you not let that happen. I did not risk this to watch you fall into any of their hands."
Her lip quivered just barely, and I felt her fear bubble up.
"Ciúin is the only place we've been truly safe. Hawthrin placed it under a protective spell. If those hunting us can break through that, then there is no place safe."
"No, there is not."
Her shoulders squared. "Okay, so what do you suggest?"
"We meet here in this very spot. I would suggest we leave now, but—"
"But you know I won't leave Adrius." She nodded.
I gritted my teeth. How many times would her love of the Elf put her life in jeopardy?
As if reading my expression, she offered a sad smile. "Zanthiel, you know I can't leave him behind to be captured."
I rolled my eyes. "Perhaps it is time he fended for himself. Warrior Knight of the Elvin realm that he is."
"You’re being unfair. He has fought back. He's the reason we've survived so far."
"No, he is the reason you're not home, safe in your world, as you should be," I snapped. "You are the reason you have survived." A flourish of snow crystals drifted down around us. I hadn't meant to sound so harsh.
She drew back a bit, then jutted her chin. "I appreciate you coming all this way to warn us. Both of us," she said.
"Least I could do for my fiancé." I offered a thin smile. It was the best I could manage given the circumstances.
Her face flushed with heat, and her gaze darted away. "I—I um..."
A nicer being would have helped her find the words, or eased her discomfort with the situation we were in. I was not a nicer being. I waited for her to figure out what she wanted to say.
For a moment I considered grabbing her, throwing her over my shoulder, and whisking her away to safety against her will. But that would not end well for either of us. Her resentment of me would never fade if something should befall the Elf.
No, I had to convince her they were both going home, and then have Sylos get Adrius to the safety of Mythlandria, while I returned with her to her world. They could fight the invasion from this side of the veil, and we would fight from the other. Without my help, the humans would fall and all would be lost to the Shades.
Her eyes lifted to mine, watery and full of sadness. "I think we might have made a huge mistake."
"Not yet." I smirked, then reached out to brush away a single rolling tear.
She gently pushed my hand away. "You know what I mean. With the engagement. And you being hunted. I had no idea it would come to this," she said. "I'm so sorry for dragging you into it."
"I came willingly."
She pushed back her hair, stifling her laughter. "Liar."
"Well, perhaps not at first, but..." I shook my head, shaking loose the dark thoughts of what lay ahead for us. "It doesn't matter." Soon none of it will matter.
Her hair fell across her forehead, draping over one eye and begging to be swept away. I folded my hands behind my back to keep from brushing it over her shoulder and kissing her madly. I wanted to. In the worst way. She had a way of scrambling my thoughts, replacing them with reckless, impulsive ones. Insatiable hungers and needs. Ideas of fairytale endings and happily-ever-afters were for fools and poets. I was neither, and yet, visions of the two of us were never far from my thoughts.
"A forced marriage is not what you want.”
She tucked her hair behind her ear and stepped forward, closing much of the distance between us. Making it even more difficult to not think about touching her. My mouth went dry.
"You're telling me what I want, now?" Her eyes flashed.
“You want what we all want, Lorelei." I inhaled, deeply drinking in her scent. It was safer with some distance between us, though I did not move. "Freedom. It was why you came and why you stayed. And now it's why you must leave. I can get you to safety, Lorelei, but you must trust me. Listen to every word I say, and do exactly as I tell you."
Her fingers trailed over the fading pale-blue paint that had all but peeled away from the walls. "You don't owe my father anything anymore, Zanthiel," she said. "And I don't need you to swoop in and rescue me."
"Of course you need me to rescue you."
Dark eyes flashed. "I can handle myself." She took a step backward and tripped over the leg of the chair.
With a patient sigh, I caught her arm to keep her from falling. "You're not only in danger, you're a danger to yourself."
Her eyes flicked to my hand still holding her forearm—though she made no attempt to pull free—then back up to mine. "You can't have it both ways," she said evenly. "Either I'm a lethal warrior princess, capable of fending for myself, or I’m a walking disaster who can't cast a spell to literally save my life. Which is it?"
I tugged her closer and leaned forward to peer into her face. "It is both. You are nothing if not an enigma." I drew back and released her.
She ignored the way her breath hitched as she wrapped her arms around her body. "I have no clue why you think that, but it doesn't really change a thing. I think we should do this my way. I'll talk to Adrius first, and then we can decide together what to do next. All three of us." She held up her hand. "And don't try to talk me out of it. I'm doing this."
"Of course you are. Far be it from you to listen to the voice of reason."
"Oh, you're the voice of reason now?" she scoffed.
"It's all relative." I shrugged lightly. "Compared to you—yes. I am the voice of reason." I wiped the streak of mud from her cheek, and because I am unable to control all of my impulses around her, I smudged my thumb across her lower lip.
For a moment, her head rocked forward, pressing into my hand, her eyes hazy. Her teeth sank into her plump lower lip, then she blew out a sigh, pulling back.
"Fine," she said in a caustic tone. "We'll do it your way first. But—"
I pressed a finger to her lips. "There is absolutely no need to finish that sentence, warrior princess. I'm well aware of what happens if my way fails."
For all of the many faults with this harsh, unforgiving realm, it ignited in her a spark that could never have been lit in her world. It shone bright within her still. No matter what happened next, I could never regret what she had gained in coming here.
She stepped back, just one step, but it gave me room to breathe normally again. To conjure thoughts other than how much I missed the feel of her hair. I watched her for a moment, uncertain how to say what it was I needed to say.
"I don't know if Adrius will go for any of this. He doesn't even know I'm here, and, well..."
"Well, what?" It came out coarser than intended.
"I'll need a day or two to convince him. He won't trust you."
"No. He won't. He has good reason not to," I said. Then taking her shoulders, I turned her to face me. "Do you trust me still?"
She nodded lightly. "Of course. That doesn't mean I can convince him to. We were on our way to meet with Hawthrin in the Oakenwylde. Our plans were in motion."
"Your plans will fail. You'd be walking into a trap. If the Wizards themselves cannot be trusted, there is no telling who else they might be in allegiance with."
Her resolve wavered—I watched it in her eyes. Perhaps her trust in Adrius was waning. Perhaps it was their relationship that wavered. The fact that she came at all, without telling him of our meeting, might suggest something about their growing discord.
"If anyone can convince him, Lorelei, it's you." I found it impossible to keep the acid from my tone. She drew back a little, but I knew she understood my mood where her Elf Prince was concerned.
"You're doing that Arctic-death-stare thing that you do, and it's making me nervous."
"Were you always this uneasy around me?" I gave a sharp grin.
"Only when you do that." She lifted a limp finger to point at me. "Anyway, I'm not nervous because of you. It's the situation."
I nodded. "The situation, of course." What was there not to be nervous about? Death around every corner, lurking in dark places and in plain sight. The situation should make her nervous. But not me.
This new version of her was captivating. The girl I'd gone to see in the human world was nearly unrecognizable, standing there, strong and defiant. Yet in moments like these, I saw glimpses of the innocent, naïve girl she used to be.
A wavering look crossed her fathomless eyes. "You say this is the only way. But you also said the Shades were dangerous, Zanthiel. That they couldn't be trusted."
"They can’t."
She shook her head with a dark laugh. "Then why—"
"Because they will do what we need them to do. Because they have so much more to gain than to lose."
Her head bobbed knowingly. "You made a deal with them, didn't you."
It wasn't a question.
"Aren't they the ones who turned Venus into the monster she is now?"
"Technically, I was responsible for that." Venus was not a subject meant for this conversation. Lorelei could be furious with me for all I'd done where her sister was concerned at some other time. When they were both back in their respective worlds. "Do you truly think I would make a deal with the devil if there was any other way?"
****
WE PREPARED TO DEPART and then ate in silence, both caught up in our own thoughts. Finally, she broke the quiet.
"Well, I guess I should go talk to Adrius. That’s what you wanted, right?"
What I wanted? Is that what I wanted? No. "Yes," I replied. "The wyverns might not have survived to divulge our whereabouts, but Riders will not be long behind in their search. We cannot be seen by spies, not now when we're so close to being free from this nightmare." Only to dive into another.
She pulled in a long breath and ran her hands down the front of her gown, washed clean of mud and blood. It was simple, made of the fabric peasants wear. Part of me hurt. She was a future queen, and yet she'd been forced to live like a derelict among the lowliest outcasts of the realm, dressing like the poorest among them.
"Do I look like myself?" she asked.
Her injuries had all but healed. She didn't look like she had spent the better part of a month running for her life from the most terrifying foes imaginable. She was stronger than she looked.
I reached out to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear, my fingers lingering there longer than necessary. "Not really, but you'll pass." I smiled.
She did too. Then she cleared her throat. "Guess I'll have to fake having been chased by Redcaps." A playful smile curled her lips.
Our faces were so close—our breaths exchanged as we breathed in tandem.
"They don't venture this far south," I said, lowering my hand from her hair.
"Seriously though, I must be a hot mess." She tried to laugh, but her lower lip quivered ever so slightly. It was all I could do not to kiss away her tremble.
"No, Lorelei, you look—" my gaze traveled the length of her, "—ready to take on Redcap scum, and win." I stepped back. "Good thing, for you may have to before this is done."
Her eyes lit with laughter.
"Tomorrow morning, before sunrise. In this very spot." I said, reluctant to let her out of my sight for even a breath. "Until then."
She smiled, wistful and melancholic. "Until then."
We headed down the rickety front steps, about to make our way back toward her hideaway in Ciúin, when something stopped us short.
The ground quaked. Thundering hooves shook the earth. Wild feral cries surrounded us.
I pulled Lorelei back. This is not good.
A fractured second later, Sylos burst through the forest at full sprint, arms waving madly.
"We have company!" he hollered.
"Run!"