Chapter Thirty-Seven

 

 

Shade

I felt the loss of my connections to Dylan and Soap immediately, but I dared not speak. The magic from Kilara’s corpse and The Heart was seeping into me. They both pulsated through me, a magical vortex I’d never felt the likes of before. I could barely keep my kneeling position without falling over while it drove into me, filling the now empty spaces where my bonds had been. They had kept me alive and happy for the past year of my life. What would I do without them?

But the worry dissipated. I suddenly felt euphoric. It was like a joy I’d never known before. I could feel the heartbeats of my children, safe and protected from the onslaught of magic inside my womb. I had accepted the position of Summer Ancient of Faerie. Though I had known it would entail so much more than I was prepared for, I hadn’t known it would so violently severe my bonds to Dylan and Soap.

Soap. Was he dead?

I squeezed my eyes as my body involuntarily twitched. I could feel a faint life force within his pale body. He was there, but forever slumbering. It’d been all my fault. I should have shut Kilara’s mouth before she could say anything more and curse my fiancé with this eternal sleep. Now, even with my new powers, I knew I’d never be able to wake him from the curse. At least, not alone.

One day, I’ll fix this. I’ll fix everything.

I felt the three other entities in the room lining the rear wall, watching as the magic poured into me. I would now spend an eternity either hating or loving these three beings, for they would be my only companions for all of time. It was a duty I had accepted along with all the consequences that accompanied it. I had known there would be some. Nothing ever came cheaply in Faerie, not even to the Ancients in command of the four realms.

I was one of them now. Forevermore. I had my children, at least, but as Kilara’s memories flooded my mind and fused with my own, I knew I would carry them, bear them, love them, wean them, and then give them away for another mother to love. Ancients did not raise their offspring. We could reproduce to create heirs for our lineage in case something like this ever happened, but we were not destined to raise them.

We were not meant for family, or love, or any kind of permanence except in the castles we created for ourselves to inhabit. We were keepers of the realms, guardians of fire, ice, earth, and water, servants to the will of Faerie.

Duty over love and family. Always.

I cried as the power finished its infusion. I felt completely different—elated, sad, overwhelmed, yet calm and confident. I cried because I knew that when we all left this place, the center of magic in Faerie, I would no longer be married to Dylan and no longer engaged to Soap. They’d be better off without me. So would my children. When the time came, I would take them back to The Scren and leave them where they rightfully belonged, without me.

Each tear sliding down my cheeks represented one of these sacrifices as I rose to my feet and stared at my brother, watching me through the barrier.

Goodbye, Benton. Take care of James and Anna for me. It’s over. I promise. It’s all over.

He mouthed “no,” furiously shaking his head as he begged me to stop. I could no longer hear his or anyone else’s yells through the solidifying barrier. I turned toward Dylan, who had barely gotten to his feet and was being held up by my brother.

I love you, Dylan. I always will. I’ll see you again one day, but maybe not for a long time.

He shook his head, mouthing protests, but I had, with a mere thought, stopped any sound from penetrating the barrier, afraid each call would change my mind. There was no turning back. I knew this now.

“Come, Shade,” Arthas said gently. “I’ll take you to where you can rest. This has been a harrowing day, and you are now one of us. We four may not always get along, but we are the only family any of us can ever have.” He helped me to my feet, holding me upright as he slid his arm over my shoulders, and I numbingly walked with him, turning away from the now completely opaque entrance to the chamber.

“Why should I go with you? Why not Rowan or Corb?” I turned toward them and found them gone. They had left the chamber without another word. “They left me here. They didn’t care to see me out? What the hell?” My bitter voice choked, but Arthas held me tight and pulled me into his embrace as my sobs began. I didn’t even know why I cried for them; they were not my friends, I was not theirs. Why would it matter?

“Shh… it’s all right, Shade. They both have their own business to attend to. I am here for you now. I’ll show you what you need to know about ruling Faerie. Trust me, it won’t be that bad. You’ll love it. I promise. Don’t worry, it’ll all be all right.”

“But you… you’re not the one who’s supposed to help me.” I sniffled, afraid to look up and meet Arthas’s gaze, but he moved his hand under my chin and forced to look into his dark, obsidian eyes. They were full of Unseelie magic. He was no longer bound to me, and the iron bracelet was now absent from his wrist. He was at full power and wide awake, with no one to control him.

“You’ll go with me because I know all the ways of the Ancients. I can tell you everything you want to know. I swear that I will leave nothing out. Not like the others, who like to toy with you. I am an open book to you. I will do anything you want if you go with me. Anything you wish, it shall be yours.”

My lips trembled. I was too tired to argue, but I wanted reassurances.

“I’ll go with you, but only if you return all my friends to The Scren so that they can get help and… and… there’s something else. Something you must do to prove your loyalty to me.”

He smirked, amused by my demands. “Speak, and it shall be done.”

I straightened, wiping my face and clearing my throat. For the first time in forever, I felt even more powerful than any of the other three Ancients. I knew what the Land of Faerie wanted me to ask Arthas. I knew it was the right thing to do. I just didn’t know how Arthas would feel about it. Still, he’d killed one of his own heirs before, what would be one more?

“I want you to eliminate Oran. I will not allow my sister to marry him. She loves another, and she deserves to have what I never could. She must marry Nautilus, not Oran.”

“The strongest of my heirs… you want me to kill him?”

I nodded, daring him to reject the idea.

He laughed, throwing his head back and grinning as though I’d just told him the world’s funniest joke. “All you desire, Your Majesty, shall be done. I swear my allegiance to you, Shade. Forever.”