Are you a Sh*tty Mom?
Take our quiz.

* Did you hate kids before you had one?

* Do you hate them even more now (except yours)?

* When people say, “Being a mom is so exhausting,” do you think, “Not the way I do it”?

* Are you willing to sacrifice some of your child’s happiness so you can sleep for another hour?

* Do you ignore any pediatrician’s orders that you don’t agree with?

* Does your kid have to have a fever above 100 degrees before you’ll keep him home?

* If your kid does have a 100-degree fever, do you debate raising the “keep him home” fever ceiling to 101 degrees?

* If you accept the premise that there are two kinds of moms at the park, “Plays with Her Children Mom” and “Texts from the Bench Mom,” then are you the latter?

* If you had to choose between a babysitter who:

a) plays with your children but arrives late

b) ignores your children but arrives on time, would you choose b? (No fair saying you’d make “a” come early.)

* Did becoming a mom make you realize that your own mother was even worse than you thought?

If you answered yes to three or more questions, you are a Sh*tty Mom. If you answered yes to all of them, you are a hero.