Scene Six

The next morning. CALLADITA and the RECEPTIONIST are in the lobby of the hotel with the vacuum cleaner. The RECEPTIONIST is teaching CALLADITA how to use it.

RECEPTIONIST:

That’s it. Press here. This button here. (CALLADITA does so.) Presto.

RECEPTIONIST:

Now look. You pick up the hose here and you move it around the floor like so. See? Now you try it.

CALLADITA does so. At first she almost sucks up her own dress into the vacuum. After some practice, she starts to get it. She enjoys herself.

RECEPTIONIST:

Atta girl. Quick learner.

CALLADITA keeps vacuuming.

RECEPTIONIST:

Hey! (turning off the vacuum) Maybe the next time that social worker comes around I can tell her that you can take the cleaning lady’s place here. The lady quit after you guys got here, but I wouldn’t take it personally. You’ll take her place and that social worker won’t have to find you a job. Whaddya think?

CALLADITA smiles and nods.

RECEPTIONIST:

Good. I’m just going to pop out and buy a newspaper. (He starts to leave, then turns around just before going off-stage.) My name is Jackie.

He leaves. CALLADITA vacuums for a few moments. She goes to the phone and picks it up. The sound of the dial tone fills the theatre. JUAN descends the stairs.

JUAN:

Are you on the phone?

CALLADITA jumps back, startled by JUAN’s presence.

JUAN:

Oh, I didn’t mean to scare you.

CALLADITA continues to stand there, the phone in her hand.

JUAN:

Are you on the phone?

CALLADITA shakes her head no.

JUAN:

Oh.

CALLADITA still stands there, the phone in her hand.

JUAN:

When you’re done, let me know.

CALLADITA hands him the receiver.

JUAN:

Oh. Thank you. I figured out the times. I can phone La Chueca now. Wait till I tell her I escaped and came to Canada! Ha! My baby is going to die when I tell her I’m bringing her here! How do you use this thing?

CALLADITA points at the slots for coins.

JUAN:

Shit. Shoulda known. You have to pay for everything here, eh?

CALLADITA nods. The RECEPTIONIST enters with his newspaper.

JUAN:

I need to call Chile. I need to call my girlfriend in Chile!

RECEPTIONIST:

What’s the number? Show me the number.

CALLADITA leads JUAN to the reception desk and points at the pad that the RECEPTIONIST is holding out.

JUAN:

This is the number.

The RECEPTIONIST hangs up the public phone and pulls out a phone from behind his counter.

RECEPTIONIST:

(dialing) Operator? Long distance call to Chile, please … 238709 … (passing the phone to JUAN) There you go. It’s ringing.

JUAN:

Oh my God. Hello? Is this La Huahua’s Deli? Yes, is Miss Natalia Sandoval there? I’m calling long distance; please let her come to the phone. Please. Thank you … Hello, Chueca? Baby, you better sit down. What do you mean who’s this? It’s Juan! Yes, Juan! I’m calling you from Canada! Yes! Canada! No, I’m not joking! I ran away from the jail and I ended up on a Swedish ship and now I’m in Canada! Of course I haven’t lost my marbles! No, Chuequita, this is totally legit. I’m going to write you a long letter explaining everything, but right now I want you to know that I’m bringing you here. That’s right. I’m bringing you here very, very soon … What do you mean you can’t? … No. Tell me now. No. Tell me right now. Chueca, I’ve been sitting in jail for months thinking about you and then sitting in a ship for weeks thinking about you, and now I finally have you here on the phone. Don’t disrespect me. Tell me now. Now … Chueca, the truth never hurts. Just tell me the brutal truth. Don’t lie … What? No. No. No … No, Chuequita, don’t go. No, Chuequita, I can forgive you anything. No. Don’t go. Chuequita. Don’t.

JUAN stands with the receiver in his hand. The sound of Chueca hanging up the phone. Static. A dial tone. The RECEPTIONIST takes the phone from JUAN, listens to the dial tone and hangs up. JUAN stands in a total daze.

JUAN:

This can’t be happening.

CALLADITA motions to the RECEPTIONIST to do his own thing. The RECEPTIONIST pretends to read the newspaper. CALLADITA takes JUAN to the couch.

JUAN:

This can’t be happening. Nope. Nope. Nope. This isn’t happening. This can’t be true.

She shacked up with my lazy brother. He stands on the street corner all day with his buddies whistling at the girls. She was doing my brother the whole time she was standing in line at the jail bringing me empanadas. My brother.

Oh, God. Here it comes. The pain. Here it comes. Oh, shit.

CALLADITA:

Rock. Like this.

RECEPTIONIST:

She talked.

CALLADITA and JUAN rock. FAT JORGE and CONDOR PASSES descend the stairs.

FAT JORGE:

Alright, boys. Time to go on our job search. (seeing JUAN and CALLADITA rocking) What are you two doing?

CALLADITA:

Just rocking. That’s all.

FAT JORGE:

Oh. Juan—She talked! SHE TALKED! CALLADITA TALKED!

MANUELITA, JOSELITO , FLACA, and CAKEHEAD come barrelling down the stairs.

FLACA:

She talked?!

CALLADITA nods.

FLACA:

Oh my God! Talk again! Talk again!

CALLADITA:

Hello, my name is Isabel Paez de la Rosa.

Everyone gathers around her and hugs her, squealing.

JUAN:

You sounded so natural when you talked that I totally forgot you’re mute!

FAT JORGE:

Let’s have a toast!

FLACA:

No! Fat Jorge, you can’t get drunk all the time!

FAT JORGE:

Who said anything about getting drunk?

FLACA:

No. You guys go on your job search—

MANUELITA:

Uncle Juan, are you okay?

JUAN:

Why do you ask?

JOSELITO:

Oh, no. He looks like he’s gonna start cryin’. Just like everybody else.

JUAN:

No. I’m not going to start crying.

CAKEHEAD:

If you wanna cry, comrade, cry for fuck’s sake.

JUAN:

I said no. I will not cry.

JOSELITO:

Good.

FLACA:

Go on your job search! Go!

The men exit.