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Brother Anderson booted up. Colin and Hannah did not appear to notice. He ran a complete self-diagnostic. He would need a battery charge soon, but other than that, all subsystems were reporting normal status. He felt alright.
Hannah and Colin laughed about something. Hannah reached out and lightly slapped Colin’s forearm. Brother Anderson recognized the action as an indicator of social ease. The two humans were beginning to develop a friendship. This provided a sense of relief for Brother Anderson. Humans needed social connection, in order to thrive physiologically. Additionally, it was essential for the crew of a ship to develop bonds of trust in order to work together safely and effectively. And this skeleton crew was in desperate need of some effective teamwork.
“...it’s pretty ironic though, I guess,” Hannah was speaking.
“How’s that?” Colin asked.
“Well, just that if I hadn’t been - if I’d have been a normal person and hadn’t always locked myself away in my studio, I’d be dead now. Just like everyone else.”
Colin considered this silently. He was about to speak, when she continued, spurred on by an upwelling of emotion.
“I really miss my mom... I wish I could talk to her just one more time. You know, I’m not sure I ever told her I love her.”
Brother Anderson listened with fascination and excitement. He couldn’t believe his microphones! Hannah had just opened her heart in a moment of rare vulnerability. This was an unexpected leap. This was a critical moment. This was an unprecedented opportunity to nurture and build that invaluable trust. But not for him. This moment was entirely up to Colin. Only he could refine Hannah’s vulnerability into a trustworthy human connection. Brother Anderson prayed, “Please god help Colin say something comforting.”
Colin’s own thoughts internalized Hannah’s statement of regret. He too was haunted by loose ends. Things not done. Things not said. He had failed to save Tommy and Scranton. He didn’t blame himself - not really - but still. Then he had missed their funeral. He had not had the chance to pay his respects. And they were gone, and it was too late. Them, and everyone else. He had never verbally acknowledged or thanked Chief Bryce for his mentorship. He had never stood up to Tommy regarding his constant idiotic behaviour. He had never gotten the nerve to apologize to Stef and Suzzanne. On top of that, he would be unable to save the Ventas 432. The sense of impending dread was almost unbearable. His ability to act responsibly as a crewman to the ship was hanging by the thinnest thread. The ship would soon be in ruins. In his mind, a part of him treated it as a done deal already. Unavoidable and inevitable. He was getting ahead of himself, he knew. There was still a chance, however slim. He just couldn’t get his rational mind to grip that slim thread. His grasp was slipping.
He pulled himself back to the present moment, realizing that Hannah needed him to be with her now more than ever.
“I know.” He was trying to agree with Hannah. “All our friends... gone.”
If he had owned a set of lungs, Brother Anderson would have breathed a sigh of relief. He smiled in Colin’s direction.
At the mention of friends, Hannah thought first of Cherise. They had shared so many good times, many laughs. She missed those younger days of innocence. Cherise was still alive somewhere far away. Was she still innocent? Hannah could imagine her no other way. And then there was Suzzanne. Suzzanne who had loved Hannah’s music, like no one else on the ship had seemed to. Suzzanne who had loved to sing despite her inability to carry a tune. Suzzanne who had loved to dance all night. Suzzanne had loved life in a way Hannah had never understood. Now she floated frozen in a dark, silent emptiness. Dead. Disrespected. Abused. It was tragic.
“How could you do that to her?”
“What? Who?” She had been talking about her mother, right? But... Huh? This doesn’t make any sense.
“Suzzanne! How could you do that to her?!” she was pushing him now. She wanted to hurt him. She wanted justice. She began sobbing, and clumsily punching at him
Oh! She’s talking about Suzzanne! Right, because they were friends. I shouldn’t have used that word. But she’s right. I deserve a beating. I never apologized for that night. I wanted to. I didn’t know how. I should have just talked to her. Like I should talk to Hannah now. Come on man, say something! What was the question again? Why didn’t I apologize to Suzzanne?
“I was scared. I guess I was ashamed,” he stammered.
“What! YOU were! How do think she felt? FUCK!”
Hannah stormed off. There was nothing to kick, and she just barely managed to refrain from punching the wall beside the hatch as she ran past.