"Part of the act of creating is discovering your own kind. They are everywhere."
Henry Miller
It is said that writing is one of the loneliest professions, that you sit at a desk, alone with your thoughts, and the person reading them eventually is separated from you by time and space. Your family won't understand you and your old friends may drift away as they can't fathom quite how you spend your time.
When first I started writing, I didn’t know any authors. I considered 'them' to be a world away from me, and I could never hope to meet them, let alone socialize with them. Nowadays my best friends are authors. I hang out with them at festivals, I interview them on my podcast and we blurb each other's books. My community has shifted from a corporate-centered world to a creative one, so it's definitely possible for you, too.
It is so important to find a community because there will be times you'll want to celebrate with others and times you will be down and need support. Yes, the writing life can be lonely, but due to the magic of the Internet, it doesn't have to be.
Whether it's Twitter hashtags like #amwriting or forums like KBoards, Facebook or LinkedIn groups, you can find a like-minded bunch of people to hang out and talk about writing and books with online. This will likely be easier than finding people physically near you. The group might be genre-related or topic-focused, related to publishing or book marketing, or organized as an extra around a live event.
There are also professional organizations that have private groups you can join, like the Alliance of Independent Authors, which has a lively Facebook group where anyone can ask questions. There are also groups associated with online courses, like my own private Creative Freedom community.
You can find a group online at any level of the author journey. Just start looking!
If you haven't written a book yet, it's unlikely that you will be able to become part of a community of authors with multiple books, because you just don't have the experience to talk at the level they do. So it's better to build a community of peers. For example, I wouldn't ask Stephen King or J.K. Rowling to join me for a writing group!
Conversely, if you've written five books and are making some decent cash, you probably won't be welcome as part of a beginning writers' group. I discovered this when I tried to join a local writer's group in London and was basically told by the leader that I was 'too advanced' and would make others feel inadequate. I had to laugh, because that's exactly how I feel about authors who are years ahead of me along the path.
My close author friends are now mid-list, traditionally published authors and also professional indie authors, as we can all help each other and share where we are on the journey. I expect that we will grow together over the years and someday, we'll be the new Kings, Rowlings or Pattersons!
Be honest about where you are on the writer's journey and make friends with people at your level. You will also shift over time, for example, 90% of people in your writer's group will never finish a book, but when you do, you will move into a new group of new authors.
I started my podcast back in 2009 so that I could talk to creative people. I didn't know any, so I decided that the best way was to have something to offer them in the form of a video or audio interview that would help promote them. Otherwise, why would they even bother getting on Skype with me or respond to my email? The podcast has become the cornerstone of my relationships with other authors and if I want to get to know a new person, I will often start by inviting them on the podcast.
Of course, you don't need to start a podcast to make friends with other authors! The same generosity principle applies to buying and reviewing books, doing blog posts about people's books or courses, sharing information about an author on social media or in your newsletter and other ways of promoting others. Yes, you're doing it because you truly think it's great material, but also, you are more likely to get noticed if you consistently promote someone else's work. It will take time, but from my own experience I can tell you that it pays dividends in the long run.
As an introvert, live events are tough for me because they are so draining, but they are also absolutely necessary if you are going to develop friends in the author world. Live events are well worth the time, effort and money and I go to several in the UK and internationally every year.
But I will never go to a conference or event unprepared, otherwise I will end up in my room quiet and alone! Twitter is my secret weapon and I will stalk people online before an event and get to know them through their blog and then use that initial connection to spark a conversation.
If you're just starting out at a conference, open with, "It's my first time here" and you will either bond with another newbie or get some insight into the event from someone who has attended before. If you go back the following year, you will have people you already know. After a number of years of attending, you will have become a fixture, people will recognize you and you'll have a peer group.
I go to a couple of annual conferences and it is definitely daunting in year one. You feel like a nobody and you have no friends. But over time, you develop relationships, and for many authors, these conferences are the key to a supportive network, the essential face time to tide everyone over until next time.
Be careful who you spend your time with, and assess at regular intervals whether you have changed or they have. It may be time to move on from that local critique group or online group.
It can be addictive to hang out in forums, but things can get toxic. Don't be associated with people who just want to be negative and drag others down with them.
"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with."
Jim Rohn