Rylie had never moved so slowly in her life, but places were raw and painful that had never been before. She’d been running on adrenaline since Reed was born, and now she was home and safe, she could admit feeling tearful and exhausted.
Despite the joy her baby boy gave her, she felt bruised in spirit, and it was her own damn fault. Because she hadn’t stood up to her father. She’d allowed him to manipulate her again. And she suspected he’d already hurt Eric in some way, too.
Eric appeared from the hallway. He looked very much the SEAL in his camouflage pants and the pullover knit shirt with camouflage sleeves and solid tan body. As he came close, she fought the urge to smooth his freshly trimmed hair back from his forehead. If she did it and he rebuffed her, it would crush her.
“I have a meeting on post, but I’ll be back around five. Text me what you’d like to eat for dinner and I’ll pick it up on my way back.”
He’d moved into the guest room instead of sharing the bedroom with her. He said it was because she needed to be able to rest as much as she could, and she supposed it was too much to ask that everything would go back to the way it was before. And since sex was a nonissue right now…
But at least he wanted to be here with the baby when he wasn’t at the base.
He grabbed his duffel bag from behind the sofa.
“You can use my car if you need to,” she offered.
“Thanks, but I won’t need it. I bought an SUV yesterday. Cowboy’s dropping me off at the dealership so I can pick it up this morning.”
She was surprised. “That’s–that’s good. What made you decide to buy it?”
“I figured it was time I stopped taking advantage of my teammates every time I need to transport my gear.”
She nodded. “I’m sure they didn’t look at it like that.”
He shrugged one broad shoulder. “I need to be able to transport the baby when you need me to take him. There isn’t any room on my bike for a car seat.”
Pain clutched her heart. Take him. As in sharing custody. Like they were a divorced couple.
It had only been a couple of days since she told him everything. Isolated in their own little pod, they finally had time to talk, and she held nothing back. But what difference could it make? It was all after the fact. She couldn’t expect him to forgive her overnight. If ever.
He couldn’t completely distance himself from her because of the baby. But she understood his desire to do so.
She swallowed against the wave of grief that nearly drowned her, moved back to the couch, and sat down. When a small squeak came from the bassinette set up in the living room, she started to get up again, but Eric waved her down. “I’ll check him.”
He’d become an expert at changing diapers in the past forty-eight hours. When he started doing just that, she curled up against the cushions. She tracked Eric’s movements through the sounds behind her as he tossed the soiled diaper in the trash and washed his hands.
She needed to nurse Reed before her father arrived.
She was so tired of this fight. So tired of her father’s betrayal of her trust and her privacy. So tired of his interference in her life.
The thing she tried the hardest to prevent ended up happening anyway. It would have saved her all the guilt and worry if she’d just been up-front with Eric. It would have saved Eric…he would never have been deployed if she’d owned up to things and just let him go.
Eric laid a hand on her shoulder. “You okay?”
She didn’t bother to turn and look up at him. “Yes, I’m okay.”
“Do you and the baby need anything before I leave?”
“No. We don’t need anything.”
“I’ll see you around five-thirty or six.”
“Okay.”
He picked up his duffel and strode to the door, finally moving to where she could see him. A frown marred his handsome face as he studied her, as though searching for injuries. “Text me if you need anything.” The door closed with a click behind him.
She just needed her life back from eight months ago. There had to be something she could do.
The phone rang. Abby!
“How are you doing?” her best friend asked.
Rylie teared up at the sound of Abby’s voice. “I’m so emotional. I guess my hormones are still mixed up.”
“Well, I’m back, and I’m coming over right now.”
Just knowing her best friend was close by shot a feeling of relief and joy through her. “Oh, my god! When did you get back?”
“Late last night. I’m at my parents’ house. I’ll have to stay with them for a few days until the girl who sublet my apartment moves out. She’s already got another place but has to wait for them to finish painting. I want to see you and that beautiful baby.”
“We’re here and can’t wait to see you.”
“I’m on my way.”
Outside of Lt. Commander Yazzie’s office, Eric fought the urge to get up and pace. He’d debated what to do for the past two days. He had no proof of what Admiral Stewart might have done, and he didn’t have the reach or the training to investigate this himself.
As much as he wanted to take more time to be with Rylie and the baby, he already used up his yearly month of leave after his last deployment and he couldn’t request any more. He needed to be especially wary right now, and watch every step he took. His girlfriend having a baby wasn’t considered an emergency.
Sitting outside of Yazzie’s office, he waffled back and forth about what to say and how to say it without sounding paranoid. He had no fucking proof other than the hitch in his promotion and the letters the asshole had confiscated. But he needed to give his CO a heads-up in case things escalated.
And then there was the way Rylie was behaving since the baby’s birth, retreating inside herself and closing off, just waiting for him to walk out.
It pissed him off that she didn’t understand him any better than that. Reed was his kid, his baby boy. The first moment he held him, he experienced a rush of love like he never experienced before. They shared a connection stronger than anything else on the planet.
Rylie gave him that. He wasn’t about to walk away from either of them.
But he was angry with her, too. For lying by omission. Whether he could have headed off anything Admiral Stewart did was unlikely, but at least he could have met the guy face-to-face and attempted to calm his concerns about his relationship with his daughter.
To her credit, Rylie invited her father to dinner at least twice since the baby was born, and he always had an excuse not to join them. So she did try.
If she didn’t tell the admiral who he was, that meant the admiral had already known and wanted no part of him.
And once deployed, Eric had no chance at all to change his mind. And whose fault was that?
A group of men filtered out of Yazzie’s office and, seeing a number of officers, Eric stood at attention.
“Lieutenant Commander Yazzie will see you now,” the admin said after the others passed.
Eager to get the meeting behind him, Eric murmured, “Thanks, Ensign,” and went to the door.
Yazzie greeted him and returned his salute. “What can I do for you, Eric?”
“I think I know why my promotion has been held up, sir. And I’m expecting more trouble.”
Yazzie’s dark brows rose. “Have a seat.” He gestured toward a chair in front of his desk.
Eric drew a deep breath in an attempt to remain calm. He needed to explain every suspicion as succinctly as possible, like any other report. But just the thought of what the Admiral might have done shot angry heat into his face.
“Almost a year ago, I started dating Rylie Stewart. She’s Admiral Stewart’s daughter.
“When we first started dating, I didn’t know who she was. It wouldn’t have mattered to me one way or another, but she had this idea that my teammates might view her as a kind of spy for her father and give me shit about it. So she kept it to herself.
“I didn’t think Admiral Stewart knew who I was, but now I’m not so sure, sir. A little over three months after she and I started dating, my team was deployed, though we all thought we weren’t in the rotation. An early deployment isn’t really a surprise because sometimes situations arise…but the day after I arrived home, Rylie and I had a baby boy.”
“Congratulations.”
“Thank you, sir. Reed is great, and Rylie’s been really strong.” He swallowed.
“How old is Rylie?” Yazzie asked.
“She’s twenty-four, sir.” She’d had a birthday while he was deployed and he’d missed it.
“She has a degree in interior design and works for a firm that remodels homes.”
Eric shifted on the chair. “She was on bed rest the final month of her pregnancy, and she had to move in with her father because she couldn’t be alone.” It was hard as hell to share part of his personal life like this. “We spoke every week, sir, but that last month, he deleted my messages on her phone and confiscated my letters and never gave them to her. He’s been less than happy about the baby.
“She’d distanced herself from him over an argument they had when she and I first met, sir, and his overprotective, controlling attitude toward her has caused some issues between them in the past.”
“You believe he may have manipulated the deployment schedule to separate the two of you and is holding up your promotion.”
“Yes sir, I do.”
Yazzie nodded silently and Eric continued.
“I know he has a right to be upset about the baby. It was a surprise to us as well. But if I hadn’t been deployed, I’d have been here to support her. I mean to do the right thing by her and the baby, sir. Not because it’s a duty, but because I care about them both, and I have no other family. To have a family of my own is important to me, sir.”
Yazzie picked up a metal paperweight from his desk and toyed with it, though his gaze never left Eric’s face.
Eric shrugged and clenched and unclenched his hands in an attempt to ease the tension threatening to lock down his neck and back.
Yazzie set the paperweight aside and focused his entire attention on him. “You realize that if your suspicions are correct, Admiral Stewart could be brought up on charges. His discharge could have repercussions for you and Rylie.”
“I know, sir.” He sucked in another deep breath. “He’s served for thirty years and had a distinguished career. All I want is the opportunity to serve my country, too—without interference. If he can manipulate my deployments and my promotions, he also has the power to shit-can my career. I’m a good SEAL, and I don’t deserve to have roadblocks thrown in my way because I love his daughter.”
There. He said it. Despite the anger and disappointment eating at him the last two days, he loved Rylie. He’d missed her like crazy while he was out of the country, and looked forward all week to hearing her voice when he could call.
He raked his fingers through his hair and leaned back in his seat.
Yazzie leaned forward to rest his forearms on this desk. “All right. I’m going to look into it. If I find clear-cut evidence of this, I’ll be honor bound to report it, Eric.”
“I know, sir. I don’t want to give him a black eye this far into his career. Or cause any more strife between him and Rylie than I already have.” He fell silent for a moment, formulating the words. “Sometimes findings can be ambiguous enough that a little pressure applied here and there can prove more beneficial than brute force.”
Yazzie’s lips twitched as though suppressing a smile. “I’ll see what I can do, Petty Officer.”
“Thank you, sir.”