PROFESSOR OSCAR MANDEL

I cannot build the house in which I thrive

Nor make the clever car I drive,

I haven’t half a wretched clue

How mankind makes a bridge, a spoon, a shoe.

Merrily I jet to Paris

As stupid to its craft as any sack it carries.

Relaxed with cuddly wife and friends

I tweak the TV set, my science ends.

Like any monkey I can tweak and flick

And squeeze and press and twirl and click.

Things happen so a god would gape.

But why? But how? Go ask an ape.

Yet imbecile and talented I go,

Familiar, chipper, treading on your toe,

Blinking through the glasses I can’t grind,

And glad to speak my parasitic mind.