Effie looked at her watch impatiently. It was nearly 4.45 and Susie was late. She was dying to tell her all about her Friday outing and benefit from her friend’s considered and probably more sober opinion. She ordered herself a large cappuccino with ‘plenty of chocolate’. The hot drink arrived a few moments later with a chocolaty heart-shaped pattern adorning its frothy top. Just what she loved, though she had to watch out she did not end up with a white moustache. Daisy and Rosie had made it very clear that this could turn her into an object of total hilarity. She had to watch that kind of thing in her new position of dating. A degree of self-consciousness was required if she was to make a good impression and that meant restraint. But Kenneth is worth it, she told herself as she stirred a large spoonful of brown sugar into her coffee. The clickety clack of high heels interrupted these ruminations and Susie sat down beside her.
It may have been Sunday and a day of rest but Susie was making no concessions. She wore a dark tight-fitted skirt with a silk shirt and on her feet a pair of bright red stiletto heels.
‘Sorry, darling, we had people over for lunch-time drinks and they stayed and stayed. Then I had to give Fred something to eat or he’d’ve made a fuss about me going out. So anyway, here I am.’
Susie positioned herself elegantly on the plastic chair and hailed the waiter.
‘I guess it had better be coffee, but not that calorie swimming bath you’ve got, Effie. Honestly!’ She ordered black coffee. No milk.
‘I need it’ said Effie firmly ‘and it’s not everyone likes a skinny stick like you. Some men like a bit of flesh.’
‘Now, now, don’t be defensive’ said Susie, stirring sweetener into her black coffee. ‘So is this Kenneth guy one of those men who likes a lady with a bit of flesh? Come on. Do tell what’s been going on.’
Effie leaned closer to her friend, aware of a young man at a table on her left who was lazily tapping on his I-phone and absolutely oozed cool. She had no desire for him to hear their conversation. He probably thinks we’re totally over the hill as far as anything vaguely sexual is concerned. Even Dr Gordon had implied this crushing assessment. So how to account for the surges of excitement when she was with Kenneth?
Ignoring the young man, she gave Susie a broad grin. ‘Well, I must say I feel a bit like an adolescent all over again. Quite disturbing.’
This was a realisation which only now crystallized for Effie. ‘Yes, it really is rather disturbing if I think about it. I mean, I really want to hear from him and don’t like it if I don’t. God, I hope this isn’t going to end in tears.’
‘So why should it, darling? It’s wonderful that someone you actually like’s taken a shine to you. Don’t go dragging in all the things that are wrong with it yet. Goodness!’ Susie sighed ‘there’s plenty of time for that later.’
She stretched out her shapely 57 year-old leg, shook off the red shoe and bent down to massage her foot. ‘My feet are killing me.’
The boy next to Effie was staring at Susie as she massaged her foot. His eyes followed down from her face to her leg, hesitating a moment to take in the glimpse of inner thigh which Susie was exposing. Effie instinctively moved her chair round a fraction in an attempt to block his view. She wanted her friend’s full attention.
‘This is serious, Susie. You’re right, I do like him, but I’m not so sure if I like feeling like an adolescent when I’m sixty.’
‘You don’t look a day over fifty.’
‘That’s not the point. The point is I suddenly don’t feel remotely sixty or even fifty. More like fifteen.’
‘You’re lucky, darling. Having spent four hours in these wretched shoes I feel about seventy’ said Susie who was extracting her foot from the other shoe and in the process flipped it across the floor to land under the young man’s table. ‘Damn it.’
The youth, who had shifted his gaze from Susie’s legs, was busily texting on his mobile phone and glimpsed up as the red shoe came to a halt beside his foot. He bent down to pick it up as Susie rose to retrieve it. He held it out as though presenting a precious gift. ‘Yours I believe.’
‘Sorry. Miscalculation.’
The youth stood for a moment, smirking, flirtatious.
‘Any time.’
‘Well thanks.’
‘No problem.’
This stimulating conversation was interrupted by the arrival of a blond slip of a girl who sported a tiny pelmet of a skirt over a pair of long slim legs which ended in a pair of bright pink trainers. She kissed the boy on the lips and the two of them rapidly moved off linked together arm in arm. Without turning round the lad raised an arm in a farewell gesture as they disappeared through the door, laughing.
‘Obviously a leg man’ was Effie’s comment. ‘They say men view women like chickens, either leg or breast. Anyway, where were we before you made such a hit with the younger generation? I think I was trying to have a serious discussion about this situation I find myself in and whether I should give this one the go, or am I just crazy to even think about it?’
Intent on tackling this foregone conclusion, they ordered some more coffee and the two women spent a good hour reviewing Effie’s progress, agreeing that of all the men she had met Kenneth was definitely the most hopeful and that there was no reason at all why she should not pursue the relationship. Susie’s advice on the intriguing question of how he earned his money was to leave it for the moment – ‘early days after all’ - in the expectation that all would be revealed as they got to know each other.
‘Talking of revealing all’ said Effie as she emptied her third cup of coffee,’ I think there’s a distinct possibility that we could end up in bed together quite soon. I mean, I actually feel for the first time in years that I want to. Is that being adolescent or what?’
‘Oh, I’d say that’s a sign of just how adult you are.’
‘It is?’
‘Does it matter? Just go for it if you want it. What’s to lose?’
‘Dignity, for a start. I mean just look at me. I’m not exactly a model figure and there’s no disguising things when your clothes are off.’
She stared down at the sugary remains at the bottom of her empty cup and leaned forward to her friend. ‘Do you realise, Susie, it’s about seven years since a man has seen me naked. I’ve got a spare tyre, varicose veins on my left thigh, skin which close up looks like the surface of the moon and too high blood pressure. God, I feel embarrassed just thinking about it.’
Susie put her cup down firmly. ‘Now, Effie, this really won’t do.’ Sometimes her friend was trying. ‘You, madam, have a pretty gorgeous body for your age. Plenty of flesh which you said Kenneth seems to like, even if it is a bit saggy, your skin is actually still nice and plump, not drawn like mine, and no one really looks at thighs, least not in the dark. I mean you aren’t going to be subjected to a microscopic examination under the spotlight. Be pleased!’
Effie was silent.
‘Look, darling, I do understand it’s a big step after all this time, but, honestly, I think you’ll find it just sort of happens and hopefully you’ll enjoy it and you’ll wonder what all the fuss was about.’
Effie glanced at her watch, still looking serious. ‘It’s 6.00 o’clock. I think we can open the bar. I could do with a glass of wine.’
She had a sudden urge to indulge herself in the luxury of confiding in a friend and the alcohol would facilitate the process. They ordered two proseccos, brought by a waitress whose fleshy thighs bulged in a pair of super- tight jeans that momentarily distracted Effie. Can’t be good for the circulation she thought as her left hand stroked the area of her own varicose vein. Susie too was watching as the waitress moved off revealing the clearly moulded outlines of her plump buttocks. The two women looked at each other, eyebrows raise before they both burst out laughing and clinked glasses.
‘It’s all so flagrant, Susie, that’s what scares me.’
‘But you don’t have to be like that. You, my dear, are the epitome of grace and discretion, you are not remotely vulgar and only display good taste.’
‘Susie, flattery is not helpful in this case. I really do need to think seriously about all this. I’m not joking about the sex thing. I mean I’m O. L.D. I haven’t had anything inside me, you know, –’ she waved her arm airily towards her lower regions ‘not even a tampon, for years and, much as I like Kenneth, I guess I am a bit nervous.’
Susie just grinned and Effie pulled her chair in closer to the table, glimpsing round to make quite sure there were no youthful voyeurs in the vicinity. She sipped her drink pensively. ‘Have you got to rush back for Fred?’
‘No, no... Effie fire away, I’ve got bags of time.’
‘Well, I suppose these recent developments in my life are making me think a bit about my marriage, you know? And I probably haven’t wanted to think too much about it to be honest. I mean it doesn’t exactly boost one’s morale to have your husband of twenty plus years, the father of your three children, go off with one of your best friends.’
Susie tutted sympathetically.
‘Anyway, that’s nothing new, but probably what I never told you was that I wasn’t actually totally surprised. Not that I suspected anything about Hilary but more that I knew things weren’t as good as they should be.’
‘Goodness, sometimes Fred bores me to bits. If I didn’t have my work and a few good girl friends, like you my dear, I’d go spare and sex is almost bound to lose its excitement. I can tell you, Fred and I work hard at that one,’ she said grinning.
‘Yes, but it wasn’t exactly that things in that department were dull, it was more that Jack wanted me to do things that I felt I didn’t want to do. My tastes were different.’
‘Different?’
‘Yes, in fact far from dull. But contrived.’
‘‘Contrived?’
‘Yes.’
‘Effie, if you don’t want to tell me what you are talking about, fine, but please don’t hint at things and then be evasive.’
Effie sighed and swallowed the remains of her prosecco.
‘You see, I can’t stand the idea that you have to create a sort of stage set in order to have decent sex. It shouldn’t be necessary, and you’re the one who keeps telling me it should all happen naturally...’
‘Don’t get ratty, now. Just go on with the story.’
‘OK. So, we’re going back a few years. Maybe Jack was a bit bored. The kids were off doing their own thing in the world. So we had more time. Just us. I missed the kids, but I was doing Ok at my work. That’s when I moved to work for Toptravel. A lot more responsibility and I started to earn good money. I think I really enjoyed that and what I wonder now is if jack was actually a bit envious. I mean, he’d been in the same job for yonks. Well, you know he always liked shoes, always liked it if I got dressed up when we went out and put on a pair of high heels. God, I blame him for this damn bunion’ she muttered, rubbing her foot. ‘So this liking for high heels, me in high heels to be precise, gradually turned into me wearing the high heels and more - or do I mean less? - at the weekend which was set aside as our together time. But honestly, Susie, it’s not my thing to prance around in nothing but a pair of skimpy high heels and wave whips around. I mean at fifty plus, god, I felt like an aged tart and I eventually told Jack it wasn’t on and I guess it wasn’t so long after that he started making eyes at Hilary. Not that I noticed anything. I just thought we’d gone back to normal and so it was a terrible shock when it all came out. But I suppose you could say I was the mistress of my own downfall. Who knows what would have happened if I’d just gone along with it, even if I did think it was a bit pervy.’
‘Oh Effie, what a bastard. And to think of stodgy old Jack being vaguely a sexual pervert and you in the altogether tottering around – or crawling around in those shoes!’ she cackled.
Effie stared at her friend for a moment, grim faced, before she too burst out laughing, laughing loudly from her belly so that her eyes watered, attracting the attention of a couple of bored-looking youths who were slumped over a couple of cans of coke at a nearby table, causing them to grimace at each other and move their fingers in screwing motion to their foreheads. ‘Crazy. y. y...’
Effie didn’t care and merely wiped her eyes with a Kleenex as the laughter calmed. ‘But seriously, I’ve got to think about this. I mean, What if he turns out to be like Jack with kinky tastes?’
‘You should be so lucky!’
‘Susie, it’s not my thing!’
‘OK, OK, only joking. But let’s think, darling, here he is, a highly eligible man who seems to like you, nothing obviously wrong with him, perhaps it’s time to broaden your tastes, be a bit experimental. He’s new and better looking than Jack, he’s got hair for a start.’
‘That’s true’. Effie sounded more confident. ` I say, shall we have another prosecco? The thought of all this is making me feel quite hot.’
She had gone a shade pinker.
‘Maybe some cold water, my dear’ from the suddenly responsible Susie.
‘OK, but I’m going to have another glass as well’ she asserted as she hailed the waitress.
A few minutes later the two women were clinking glasses with Effie toasting ‘sex and the older woman’ and Susie raising her glass to ‘the older man, and long may he love that sexy older woman, even if she does go on a bit.’
‘Go on a bit?’
‘You know you do’ said Susie dismissively ‘but, if I might say so without offending you, darling, I think you’ve been a bit more like that since the business with Jack, which is quite understandable. What it all adds up to, though, is that Kenneth’s arrival on the scene is timely. You need to have your attention taken up with something other than your job and your children.’
Effie considered this. ‘The family are absolutely my nearest and dearest. But you’re probably right. It’s a gamble, though, isn’t it? And you know how I feel about gambling.’
Susie only vaguely knew that Effie had a thing about gambling which was connected to her father in some way, but she spoke with conviction nevertheless, ‘Of course I know that. But almost anything you do has an element of risk about it. Anyway, I think you’ve made up your mind and what you want from me this afternoon is encouragement to keep going, not advice to stop.’
Effie emptied her second glass and smiled. ‘I think I feel better.’
‘Me too. And while we’re on the subject, did I ever tell you...’ Susie gaily plunged into her store of stories about early affairs in her life, whispering loudly, about ‘the youth with the rosebud penis –‘a darling little bud of a prick’ - and ‘the hairy gorilla man’ - ‘the hairiest guy I’ve ever come across - it was like hugging a fur coat – a bit hot for July’, at which point the waitress banged the bill down on the table, the two sobered up, paid the bill and exited, in good spirits.