Chapter Seven

William had never seen so many trees. He tried to recall the names he’d been told, black butt was one, and some kind of box, but cedar was the important one. He couldn’t remember the others, but it didn’t matter, he would soon learn.

What was important was that the logging business was profitable. The three of them had examined the books together. All those figures didn’t mean much to him, but his father and George both said it was profitable, and they would know. He felt a bit sorry now that he hadn’t paid more attention to the running of the estate back in Buckinghamshire, but he’d never really understood much about figures and hadn’t been interested to learn. Oh, well, he’d soon pick it up.

The countryside seemed a bit wild to him, but it had a certain beauty, he supposed. Not like England, of course, but some would find it attractive, he hoped Kitty would like it.

Certainly the nearby mountain was impressive, a great rocky mountain with steep sides covered with forest and a series of sheer, flat faces at the top that shone in the rays of the sunset and looked really splendid. He was sure she’d like that; he couldn’t wait to tell her.

He’d been a bit surprised to find that Bulahdelah was only a miscellaneous collection of wooden cottages scattered about in twos and threes amongst the trees, hardly a proper street to the town. Well, it was hardly a town, hardly even a village, really. The inn where they’d lodged, the Plough Inn, had been passable. There was a weekday school, but when he and Kitty had children, they would go back to England for a proper education, of course.

His father agreed with him that the house needed more rooms to make it habitable; after all, nobody could be expected to live in only four rooms. They would build on several more rooms before he brought Kitty here to live. His father would see it all done in the best of taste.

William preened a little when he thought of how the colonials would look up to him with this property, with the biggest house around here. And a wife far more beautiful than any of the local women.

He wouldn’t mind being isolated when he had Kitty to share his life with him. He could see himself riding every day, supervising his property, while Kitty did whatever it was women did in the house all day. And George had told him there were some jolly decent clubs in Sydney. He must make arrangements to join one or two.

Yes, he could see a happy future ahead for himself. It would be good to be away from the family. They had never really appreciated him; they had all looked down on him, thought he was no good for anything. Well, he’d show them. He’d make a fortune for himself here in Australia.

He let himself dream all the way back to Sydney.

On arriving, he hurried to his hotel to freshen up before going to see Kitty. Here he found a note awaiting him, telling him that she and her mother had taken a house at Neutral Bay. By the time he made enquiries as to the whereabouts of Neutral Bay, it was too late to cross the harbor to call today. Reluctantly, he put off his visit until tomorrow.

When William arrived at the house, it was to find the blinds drawn and a wreath on the door. Mary opened the door to his knock and told him Mrs. and Miss Morland were not receiving visitors, due to the recent death of Mr. Robert Morland. He left his card and told her to tell Kitty that he would call again tomorrow, and hoped she would be able to see him.

As he rode back to town, he turned over this new development in his mind. Now that her brother was dead, Kitty would be more concerned about her mother than ever. He must be prepared for the fact that she might want her to come and live with them in Bulahdelah. He wondered if they could consider leaving her here in Sydney; he would certainly prefer that, but he didn’t think Kitty would agree.

When he thought about it, he decided that the situation put him in a better position than before with regard to Kitty’s response to his proposal.

He’d been so carried away with his daydreams he’d almost forgotten that she had not given him a definite answer. In fact, she had not been over-enthusiastic, he recalled with a twinge of misgiving.

Her brother’s death would work to his advantage. She would need someone to look after her, and if it meant taking her mother, too, then he would do so. He would have an extra room built on for her and he wouldn’t need to see a great deal of her. Anything to have Kitty for his own.

He set out the next day determined to press his case and receive a firm commitment from Kitty, no matter what concessions he had to offer. He would appear sympathetic and caring. She would see him as her savior. Yes, that was the line to take. It was probably a good thing she’d lost her brother, now there would never be anyone to interfere with them; she would have no one but him.

****

“Dearest Kitty, I can’t tell you how sorry I am to hear of your sad bereavement.” William lifted her hand to his lips.

Kitty had been tempted to refuse to see him, but Bella urged her to talk to him, even if just for a moment or two.

She felt so low she decided he could make her feel no worse, and at least he was someone else to talk to, and they had no family or friends here to share their burden or care about their loss.

“Thank you, William. It’s been a terrible loss for both of us.”

“Ah, your poor mother, how I grieve for her, for you both.” He gazed earnestly into her eyes. “It makes me long to take care of you, to keep you safe and sheltered from the world.” He leaned forward and kissed her clumsily on the cheek. When there was no response he continued, “I’m anxious to tell you of my trip to Bulahdelah, when you feel ready to hear about it.”

Kitty felt a flicker of interest. “Sit down, William. I’ll order some tea, and you can tell me about it now.”

“It’s a wonderful business opportunity,” William enthused, when they were settled. “ My father and my brother-in-law both agree with me that it has wonderful potential. And the countryside is so beautiful, I’m sure you’d love it.”

He went on to describe it in glowing terms, emphasizing the beauty of the mountain and the nearby river. He told her that, while Bulahdelah was a small village, the town of Stroud was only twenty miles distant, so they would not be really isolated but would be able to share the peace and tranquility of the countryside.

“Tell me about the business. It sounds interesting.”

“Oh, yes indeed. You should see the wonderful trees on the property. The men are busy all day logging.”

“What happens to the trees once they’re cut down?”

William seemed surprised that she would be interested in the business side of things. “They’re dragged down to the river where they’re loaded onto a punt and floated down the river. Then they’re taken to a sawmill where they’re cut into timber, and then sold in timber yards here in Sydney.”

“There’s so much building going on I can see how it would be profitable.”

“My dear Kitty, it surprises me that you notice such things. But, yes, it’s wonderfully profitable. You need have no cause to worry about that.”

Of course, Kitty thought, he had no idea she was thinking how good it would have been for Robert. Well, Robert was gone. If she wanted to be involved in a business, here was an opportunity presenting itself.

And she had her mother to think of, too. Bella had lost her husband and now her son. Kitty was all she had left, and she felt the responsibility keenly. And over it all hung the shadow of what would happen if George Arnold should ever track her down. What would become of Bella then? If she decided to marry William their financial future would be secure. And in Bulahdelah they would be safer than here in Sydney.

“Did you decide to stay in Australia because of me?”

“Of course, l would do anything to make you happy. Oh, Kitty, please say you’ll marry me. I’m dying a thousand deaths waiting for your answer.”

Kitty looked at him and tried to imagine being with him every day. It was not a prospect to fill her with joy. She sought to gain more time. “But, William, I’m in mourning. It’s not the right time to make such a decision.”

“I must know, Kitty. We needn’t make an announcement just yet, if you don’t wish.”

“I couldn’t leave my mother alone. That would be impossible now.”

“I would never think of leaving her alone. She must come and live with us. I’ll have an extra room built for her so she’ll be comfortable.”

He was really very kind. If she became involved in the business, that would be her interest, and she could see no reason why not. Things were different in Australia. After all, Mary had told her that her mother ran a drapery business. At that moment, she made a sudden choice and decided to make it definite before she changed her mind.

“I would be honored to be your wife, William.” There, the die was cast. “I can see that we would be happy together. But we wouldn’t be able to wed until I’m out of mourning.”

William’s eyes gleamed and a pink flush colored his cheeks. “Whatever you say, Kitty. I am truly the happiest of men. I’ll treasure you always.” He jumped up and pulled her to her feet. His lips found hers.

It took Kitty by surprise, and it was all she could do not to pull her head away. “Why, William,”—she backed away—“your passion overwhelms me.”

He let go of her with obvious reluctance. “Forgive me. Your answer affected me beyond belief.” He tugged at his collar. “Are you ready to tell your mother the good news?”

Kitty pushed down a feeling of hopelessness. “Yes.”

Bella seemed delighted at the news. She kissed William on the cheek. “I’m sure you’ll be very happy together. I’m pleased to have some good news to brighten us up at this sad time. When are you planning on being married?”

Kitty replied before William had a chance to speak. “It can’t be until we’re out of mourning, Mother.”

“There’s some work to be done on the house before it will be ready for us, but, perhaps, when that’s done? My parents will be ready to return to their home then, and I’m sure they’d wish to see us married before they leave.”

“That could be too soon.”

“I’m sure they would wish to see William married before they leave, Kitty,” Bella prompted.

In the end, Kitty agreed with reluctance that when the house was ready, they would marry.

****

Rufe stared at her hand as Kitty passed him a cup of tea. There on her finger was a ring with a large, shiny, very new-looking diamond flashing. He grasped her wrist as she leaned back.

“What’s this?” he asked harshly. “Does it mean what I think it means?”

“It means William Barron and I are engaged to be married.”

He glowered at her. “You little fool. He’s not the man for you. He’ll never make you happy; he’ll bore you silly within a month.”

Kitty wouldn’t admit this was her secret fear. “I don’t know what right you think you have, to tell me what I should do.”

“Only the right that I can see you’re making a terrible mistake. Why didn’t you give yourself time to get over your brother’s death? Time to settle in to life in Sydney and to meet a few people and get a feel for life here before rushing headlong into this disastrous relationship?”

“It’s none of you business.” Kitty jerked her wrist. “And let go of me, you’re hurting me.”

He let her wrist go and sat back, breathing heavily. “You fool, you little fool.” His tone was scathing. “You’ll shrivel up and waste away, married to a milk-sop like Barron. Are you going back to England with him?”

“No.” She spoke defiantly. “He’s bought a logging business in Bulahdelah. He’s up there now overseeing the building of extra rooms on the house, and we’ll be going there to live as soon as we’re married.”

He glared at her, amazement on his face. “You’re going to bury yourself in Bulahdelah? That’s even worse.” He raised his voice. “He’ll turn you into a meek little country mouse, with only his welfare to worry about and church on Sunday to brighten your days. A fine future to look forward to.”

Kitty swallowed, longing not to believe him. “I believe Bulahdelah is a pleasant village, and Stroud is nearby. There’ll be plenty of social life; you’re just trying to alarm me.”

“You’ll find out, but it’ll be too late then.” Kitty heard the bitterness in his voice. “I hope you love your future husband, because he’s going to be almost your only company.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Are you going to be happy spending all your time with him? Can you tell me you love him?”

Kitty tightened her lips. “It’s none of your business.”

“Of course you don’t love him. You don’t need him, Kitty; you need a real man, one who’ll make you feel alive. One you’ll be able to have some fun with, who’ll show you how good life can be.”

“How is it that you know what I need?”

“I can tell.” He jumped to his feet and pulled her from her seat. His arms went around her. “You need someone to show you what love and passion are all about. Someone to make you feel alive. Someone who can kiss you like this.”

He bent his head and kissed her, hard, passionately, until she felt she had no breath left in her body. Her heart beat a wild tattoo, and she felt a fire rising inside her, setting her blood pounding.

When he raised his head, he kept her pressed to him. “I’ll bet Barron has never kissed you like that. You’re made for love, Kitty. You don’t know it yet, and you’ll never find out married to that clumsy oaf. You don’t love him. Change your mind, before it’s too late.”

“I can’t.”

“Of course you can.”

She shook her head weakly. “No, I can’t. I have my reasons.”

Rufe dropped his arms and pushed her away. He glared at her, his mouth set in a straight line. “Then on your own head be it. I can only offer my hopes for your future happiness. You need all the good wishes you can get. Please tell your mother I’m sorry I missed her. I won’t wait.” He turned on his heel, anger in every line of his body.

As he stormed from the room Kitty stood motionless, her heart still beating madly. She moved to the window and watched him ride away, urging his horse to a gallop. Her insides suddenly turned to an empty hollow, making her feel as if she had lost something, something she had never even known she had. What hope had she of ever regaining it?

****

Rufe urged his horse on, impotent fury goading him to push it to its limits. Wildly they tore along the cliff top, the wind whistling past his head, stinging his face, causing his eyes to stream.

Finally common sense prevailed and he slowed to a canter, then reined in his mount to give them both time to regain their equilibrium.

Patting his horse’s neck he stared out across the ocean below. White fluffy clouds scudded across the blue sky and the seagulls wheeled and screeched as they pursued their endless search for food. A stiff breeze filled the sails of the yachts as they raced their way across the harbor, parting the whitecaps in front of them and trailing their wake behind. A ferry pushed its way through the waves, rolling as it reached the long breakers coming in from the ocean beyond the Heads.

How could Kitty be so stupid? That insensitive clod would stifle her vitality; he would never allow her to reach her potential as a woman. If she married him and went to Bulahdelah, she would be condemned to a life of boredom, producing children while he pursued his own selfish interests. What made her act so hastily? It was as if she couldn’t wait to be married. And yet he remembered her telling him, on the day when the ship arrived, that she didn’t intend to marry at all. And she had certainly been less than encouraging to Barron then. What made her change her mind? She said she had her reasons. Was there something in her past that was influencing her?

It was obvious she was not thinking clearly, grief stricken at her brother’s death and concerned for her mother. If she married Barron in a hurry, she would regret it in a short time, but by then it would be too late. Well, he could do no more, he thought the attraction he felt for her was mutual, but perhaps he was wrong. Perhaps the passion he felt in her had simply been the arousal all young women would feel at being properly kissed.

He wheeled his horse about and headed slowly down to the ferry landing. It was time to head back to Sydney.