Chapter Fifteen

Rufe Cavanagh rode along Bucket’s Way, heading for Bulahdelah. As he was not expected at his destination for several days, he planned to make a detour and visit the Barrons. As he rode, his mind was on Kitty. He couldn’t forget her; she was often in his thoughts. How was she getting on with that oaf she’d married? Foolish girl…and that’s all she was, just a girl,she should have waited, waited until she was over her grief at her brother’s death.

He remembered the day they went to look at houses on the North Shore. How Kitty laughed as the swell and the wind gusts rocked the ferry. That was the day he realized she was special.

He’d felt a stab of jealousy when she refused to rule out marrying Barron. He’d wanted to change that, and he would have, if the death of her brother hadn’t intervened.

On the day of the move into the house at Mossman’s Bay, he’d been about to take her in his arms when they were interrupted. And Kitty had wanted him to; he’d seen it plainly on her face.

Then he had to break the devastating news of Robert’s death. There had been no alternative but to leave Kitty and Bella alone to their grief. But Barron had no such compunctions and took advantage of the situation to press Kitty into agreeing to marry him.

Rufe had been so enraged when he saw the ring on her finger and realized what had happened, that he stormed out and returned to Sydney, where he proceeded to get very drunk.

Now, he wanted to see how the marriage had turned out. He’d be surprised if Kitty was happy.

****

After staying overnight at Stroud Rufe arrived at Bulahdelah in the afternoon and dismounted outside the Plough Inn. Looking around, he wondered how Kitty and her mother enjoyed living in this tiny village. And Barron, too, for that matter. As he tied his horse to the rail, two men emerged from inside the building. One of them was Barron.

Barron stopped at the sight of him, and then stepped forward with his hand outstretched.

“Cavanagh, my dear fellow,” he said, wringing his hand. “How wonderful to see you. I know you said you’d come to visit us, but it is a pleasant surprise.” He turned to the other man. “Sampson, come and meet my friend Cavanagh.”

Surprised at the effusive welcome, Rufe returned the greetings. “I’m on my way to Copeland and decided to pay you a visit on the way. I plan to stay here tonight and come to visit you in the morning.”

“No, no, you must come home with me now. Sampson and I have finished our business, have we not?” he asked, turning to his companion.

“Yes, we have. It’s time to head home. Our ladies will be waiting for us.”

Rufe nodded. “In that case, I’ll be happy to come with you.”

Barron turned to Rufe. “Now, let’s away. I’m anxious to show you my estate.” He puffed out his chest.

Still the same pompous ass, Rufe thought as they followed the rough road out of town and made their way into the bush along a narrow track. “Great timber country you have around here, Barron.”

“Yes, indeed. And I own a large piece of it. Tomorrow we’ll ride around the estate.”

The narrow track meant they rode in single file so Rufe felt no obligation to keep up a conversation as they made their way to the house.

“A nice place you have here,” he observed as he mounted the steps to the front door, which stood open to catch the breeze from the river.

“Yes, quite the best house around here, of course.”

“Of course.”

As they entered the hallway Barron stopped and called out, “Kitty. Kitty.”

Kitty emerged from a room down the hall and started walking toward them. Rufe’s heart raced at the sight of her.

Her eyes widened as she saw him and her hand flew to her throat. Her step faltered, and she stood still. Rufe heard her sharp intake of breath.

“Come here, my dear. See who I’ve brought home with me.” Barron moved down the hall toward her.

Reaching Kitty he put his arm around her waist, pulling her to his side. She stiffened at his touch.

“Isn’t this a surprise?” Barron asked her.

Kitty looked pale but now color suffused her cheeks. “Indeed it is. Welcome, Mr. Cavanagh.” Moving away from Barron’s side she held out her hand.

Rufe took her hand in his. “It’s a pleasure to be here, Mrs. Barron. I’m on my way to Copeland and decided to make a detour to see how you’ve all settled in to life in Bulahdelah.”

Barron’s voice was hearty. “We’ve settled in very well. We’re remarkably happy here, is that not so, Kitty?”

“Yes, of course,” Kitty replied in a flat voice.

Rufe sensed tension in the air. They were not as happy as Barron would have him believe. He felt a prickle of satisfaction, followed quickly by concern for Kitty.

“Is Mrs. Morland with you?” he asked.

Kitty smiled, her face coming alive. “Yes, of course. Come down to our sitting room, she’ll be so happy—”

Barron cut across her words. “Bring your mother into the drawing room. Cavanagh and I will go there and have a drink before dinner. Tell the housekeeper we have one extra for dinner and have her make a room ready for our guest. Come and join us for a drink when it’s all ready.”

Taking Rufe by the arm,Barron led him back along the hall and into a room pleasantly furnished, and looking out on to a shady verandah with a garden beyond.

Barron crossed the room and picked up a decanter that stood on a silver tray. He looked expectantly at Rufe. “Brandy?”

“Please.” Rufe nodded.

Barron poured brandy into two glasses and handed him one. Rufe seated himself as Barron raised his glass in salute.

“Your health, Cavanagh,” he said, before tossing down his drink.

He turned as the door opened and Bella and Kitty entered. “Ah, Mother, come and say hello to our guest.”

Rufe rose from his chair as Bella came toward him with a smile.

“How pleasant to see you, Mr. Cavanagh. I hadn’t expected you in our part of the world.”

Again, Rufe explained that he had business nearby. “I couldn’t be this close without coming to see you all.”

“I’m so happy that you have. You know, I’ve never thanked you for what you did for us when we lost Robert. I’m so pleased to have the chance to tell you how much I appreciated what you did.”

“I was sorry to be the bearer of such terrible news.” Rufe’s heart filled with compassion for Bella as he led her to a seat on the sofa. Then he looked across at Kitty and caught his breath.

She stood framed in the doorway. A slant of sunlight fell across her face and highlighted her deep green eyes and a ringlet of honey gold hair that curled on her brow. Her beauty struck him afresh, and he felt as if he he’d been kicked in the stomach. How had he ever let her get away from him?

The spell was broken as she walked into the room and Barron’s voice brought him back to reality.

“Ah, there you are, my dear. Come in and have a glass of sherry.”

Kitty sat next to Bella, and Barron brought them both a glass of sherry as Rufe sat down again.

“As you can see, Cavanagh, we lead a very civilized life here. My two ladies have every comfort they could want, isn’t that so, Kitty, Mother?”

Kitty nodded as she sipped her sherry, while Bella replied. “Indeed, every comfort. And it is a beautiful area to live in.”

Barron nodded complacently.

But Rufe felt tension in the room. Something was not right here. Kitty was certainly not happy.

Barron looked expectantly at Kitty. “Now, Kitty, perhaps you will take your seat at the piano and play something for us.”

Kitty moved obediently to the piano. Her fingers trailed across the keys for a moment before she seated herself. Then she started to play, a soft haunting melody.

Rufe watched her as she played, detecting a sadness about her. She looked thinner than she’d been in Sydney, but it seemed to enhance her beauty rather than diminish it. Her cheekbones were more prominent and her eyes seemed even larger in her face, which had been kissed to a light golden color by the sun.

When she reached the end of the piece, she folded her hands in her lap and sat still.

“That was pretty, my dear,” came Barron’s voice, “but now play something a little brighter for us.”

“Very well. See if you like this better.” Her fingers moved swiftly as a lively Chopin polonaise filled the room.

“That’s better.” Barron smiled as he filled his glass again and topped up his guest’s. “Didn’t I make a wise choice of wife, Cavanagh?” he asked Rufe as he handed him his glass. “Not only is she beautiful, but talented as well.” He nodded with satisfaction. “Yes, she’s truly a wife to be proud of.”

Rufe longed to smash his fist into the smug face. Too good for you, you bloody oaf. But there was nothing he could do about it.

****

The next morning Kitty woke early and left the bed quietly so as not to disturb William. Dressing in the silence she made her way out of the house, through the gate and down to the river, trying to sort out her feelings as she walked. The sight of Rufe standing with William in the hallway had been like a bolt of lightning. She stood there, paralyzed, her legs weak, while her heart raced and the blood hammered in her ears. With a supreme effort she managed to pull herself together enough to greet him coherently when he stood before her. The touch of his hand sent a tremor through her, but was somehow reassuring, helping her to face reality. The reality that she was married to William, she must not show her agitation; no one must suspect how she felt.

She had tried to fathom Rufe’s mood, but his pleasant manner betrayed no hint of his feelings toward her. Had he forgotten that day at Mossman’s Bay when he had stormed out of the house and left her? Or had it been of so little importance to him that he put it from his mind?

Sitting on a stump near the bank, Kitty stared out over the water, watching the play of light and dark on the surface. The sun slanted its early morning rays across the river, lacing the air with sunshine, causing the water on this side to sparkle while the other side remained dark. The sun kissed the tops of the melaleucas on the edge of the opposite bank, throwing them into light green relief against the somber darkness of the taller casuarinas behind, still in shadow.

This was one of her favorite spots; she often came here, secluded from all except those who might come along the riverbank. All was still and quiet at this early hour except for the gentle lapping of the water and the sound of the birds as they chirped their early morning chorus.

Hearing a twig snap, she looked around and was surprised to see Rufe come around the trees and walking toward her.

“Good morning,” he called as he approached. “I see you’re an early morning riser, too.”

“Yes, I often take an early morning walk.”

“This is a lovely spot. Do you mind if I join you?”

Despite a quickening of her pulses, Kitty replied calmly. “Of course not.”

Rufe seated himself on a nearby stump.”So, Kitty, here you are, an old married lady. I hope life here in Bulahdelah is turning out as you wanted. I hope you’re happy.”

Taking a deep breath she turned to look at him. “William told you yesterday that we’re remarkably happy here, didn’t he? I wouldn’t argue with my husband.”

“Quite the dutiful little wife, aren’t you?” Rufe asked with a twist to his lips. “But I asked for your opinion, not his.”

Kitty turned back to look out over the water, sweeping her hand to encompass the scene before her. “Look at all this, it’s so beautiful; how could anyone not like it? You don’t get this down in the city. And we lead a good life here.”

“That’s not what I asked you, Kitty.” His voice took on a harsher note. “Are you happy?”

“How happy is anyone, ever? I’m happier here than when I was back in England. Does that satisfy you?”

Jumping to his feet he came to stand in front of her. His hands reached out for her shoulders and he pulled her to her feet, shaking her lightly, angrily.

“No, it doesn’t satisfy me at all. Blind Freddy could see you’re not happy. And how could you be, married to that oaf?”

Kitty’s heart thumped. “You mustn’t talk about him like that. He’s my husband and I married him for whatever he is.”

“Why, Kitty, why? Why in God’s name did you marry him?”

“Does it matter? I married him, I’m William’s wife.”

“Why did you have to rush into it like that? Why couldn’t you have waited, given yourself some time?”

Kitty swallowed the lump in her throat. “What does it matter whether I’m happy or not? This is what I chose to do.”

“It matters to me.”

Savagely he pulled her to him, bending his head, and the next second his lips found hers. He kissed her passionately, demandingly, a kiss that seemed to fuse her to him. Kitty felt heat flooding her body. Her heart raced and every nerve in her body tingled. Her body melted against him as her arms encircled his neck. The heat inside her made her throb with desire. So this was how passion felt.

The kiss seemed to last forever, until Rufe pushed her from him roughly, breathing heavily. She gasped and almost fell as he took his arms from around her. Her limbs had gone weak and her pulses pounded.

“You little fool.” His eyes glittered. “This is what we could’ve had. But no, you couldn’t wait. You had to marry that…that nincompoop.”

Kitty trembled as she stared at him, shaking her head. “I didn’t know…I had no idea…” her voice trailed away.

“You didn’t know the first thing about love, did you? You had no idea how it could be. But why couldn’t you have waited to find out?” His anger flailed her like a whip. “That day when I came to see you and saw his ring on your finger, I could have killed him. And you, too.” He winced and shook his head as if to clear it. When he spoke again his voice was quieter. “Tell me, Kitty, what made you rush into it so quickly?”

Kitty tried to match his calmer tone but a shuddering hitch caught in her throat. “I had a reason, believe me. I can’t tell you, but I had a reason.”

He looked at her for a long moment then asked her, “Was it because of something in your past?”

The blood drained from Kitty’s face as she felt herself go cold. “What makes you think that?”

“I accidentally overheard a conversation between you and your mother, when we were staying at Petty’s Hotel. I didn’t mean to listen, but I was in a position where I couldn’t help overhearing. Not that either of you mentioned what you’d done. But I knew there was something.”

Kitty’s hands were clammy and she felt faint. “I see. Why didn’t you ask me about it, then?”

Rufe shook his head. “It wasn’t any of my business. I didn’t want to know what you did and I still don’t. I don’t care; it wouldn’t make any difference to how I feel about you.”

Kitty’s tongue flicked her lips. “And how do you feel about me?”

He looked at her steadily. “I love you.”

Kitty swallowed, her head reeling. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Her voice was a whisper.

“I would have if it hadn’t been for your brother’s death. That day when you first moved into Mossman, I realiized it, but we were interrupted. You probably don’t remember..”

Kitty interrupted him, her voice a mere breath. “I remember.”

“And then, next time I came to see you it was after Robert’s death. I wanted to say something then, but you were so full of grief, it didn’t seem right, so I decided I should wait.” His lips twisted. “Barron had no such scruples. And the next time I saw you, you were wearing his ring.”

“I thought you didn’t care.”

“Oh, I cared,” he told her, his voice thick with emotion.

“I see. Well, it seems as if we made a mess of things, doesn’t it? And now it’s too late.”

“It doesn’t have to be.” His voice pleaded. “Come away with me. You can get a divorce.”

Kitty shook her head. “It would cause a scandal. You wouldn’t want to be with a scarlet woman, and that’s what I’d be. We’d both be outcasts.”

“I don’t give a damn for people’s opinions. If it worried you, we could go away where no one knows us. Australia’s a big country.”

Kitty shook her head. “It’s too late.”

“If you’re worried about your mother, I’ll look after her. She can come with us.”

“If only I could say yes.” Sorrow filled her, misting her eyes. “It’s not my mother. It really is too late. You see, I’m carrying William’s child.”