She waited until he pulled into the driveway at the lake house. Unfastening her seat belt, she turned to him and said, “Explain why you did that to me.”
Had she not been watching him so closely, she’d have missed the slightest of flinches, which betrayed him. “Did what?”
So she’d hit a nerve. Good. “The whole public spectacle. It wasn’t necessary, Callahan. I know small towns, too. The catfish caper was enough—you didn’t need the whole engagement- ring-and-ice-cream circus. Was it all some sort of payback? A way to humiliate me? I heard your brothers mention that possibility this morning.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Victoria,” he replied, amusement lacing his tone as he opened his door and let Paco scramble out.
The amusement did it. Her temper flared and she yanked open the door and climbed down onto the rocky ground. Rather than head for the house, she turned the other way. Right at that moment, she wanted away from Matt Callahan, away from his brother or brothers lurking inside, away from computer printouts and hushed phone calls and all the other paraphernalia of investigation, away from his father’s overexcited dog.
Torie wanted her life back.
She took the path leading to the vineyard and walked fast. The pressure of tears built behind her eyes and she clenched her teeth and forced them back. She wouldn’t cry. She wasn’t a crier. As she swung her arms, the ring caught the sunlight and sparkled. Emotion bubbled up inside her. She wrenched off the ring and threw it down—onto the path where she could find it later, not out into the field. She wasn’t that big of a fool.
No, Torie was mad.
Angry.
Furious.
“Victoria, hold up,” Matt called from behind her.
She whirled on him as he bent to scoop up the ring. “Don’t tell me what to do!”
Then she picked up her pace, broke into a jog, then a run. She ran until she topped the hill; then she stopped to catch her breath. Bent over, her hands on her knees, she waited until the fire in her lungs eased. When she finally straightened, fatigue gripped her. Tears flooded her eyes and a pair spilled down her cheeks.
“C’mere, Shutterbug. This is the best sittin’ rock on the ranch. It’s a wonderful place to watch the sunset.”
Matt patted the space beside him on a flat-topped boulder a few yards to the right of the trail. Torie hadn’t heard him come up behind her. “I was going to sit on that rock, anyway,” she explained as she took the seat he’d indicated. “I’m not doing it because you told me to.”
“Of course you’re not.” Matt lifted her arm and kissed the back of her hand. “Look, nothing I did today was intended to insult you. I’m not accustomed to explaining myself.”
“I’m not accustomed to letting other people run my life. That hasn’t happened since I stopped listening to my father when I was a teenager.”
His mouth quirked in a lopsided grin. “You are one of no more than three people I can call to mind who are capable of standing up to General Lincoln Bradshaw.”
She sniffed with disdain and smelled rain on the air. “I’ve had a lot of practice.”
“When Helen visited me in the hospital, she shared a few stories about the brawls y’all had. I recall one about missing a curfew?”
Torie smiled, her gaze following a hawk soaring on the breeze ahead of the storm clouds building in the east, her mind on events of long ago. “Actually Helen was the one who missed the curfew, but he didn’t even notice. He just assumed it was me. I had the dedication of the righteous that night.”
“When we were that age, Branch didn’t notice if we were at home or on the moon.”
“Widowers on opposite ends of the spectrum, then. I’ve been on my own a long time. I might not have always made the best decisions, but they were always my decisions. I hate having that taken away from me.”
He rubbed the back of his neck and gave her a sheepish grin she didn’t buy for a second. “I guess that means you’d rather get engaged on your own terms, hmm?”
She was tempted ... oh, so tempted ... to tell him the truth. How would Matt Callahan react if she said, I’d rather it was real? I wish you’d meant the kisses and the catfish-house declaration. I wish the ring and ice cream celebration were real.
I wish you really loved me.
Maybe he’d pull out his 007 memory eraser stun gun and blast her back to good sense. Probably, he’d run away from her just as fast as he possibly could.
Her brain must have been scrambled by the stalker. For all her faults, Torie had never been a feeble-minded woman. Falling in love with Matthew Callahan was nothing short of stupid. And that’s what she’d done. It’d been fast, but Torie had spent her entire life doing things fast.
No more falling about it. She knew that now. She’d hit ground. Torie Bradshaw was head over heels in love with the man who’d given her an engagement ring two hours ago. As a prop.
A prop. A fake. Torie knew all about fake. She dealt with it daily in her job, and wasn’t it fun when her work exposed the lie? Only this time, the tables were turned. The joke was on her. She was in a spotlight she didn’t like, didn’t want. What made it even worse was that he seemed to enjoy it. The jerk.
What if he’d meant all those things he said and pretended? Like she did. Fool that she was. Imagine if his proposal had been real. Marrying him would be straight out of Cinderella meets James Bond.
Yeah. Right. Like that would ever happen. The Spy Who Loved Me ... not.
It’d serve him right if she told him how she felt. It might actually needle his conscience just a bit. She knew he had one. Admittedly, it had come as a bit of a surprise, considering the man’s occupation, but she’d witnessed it firsthand. What else but a guilty conscience would have made him go by his father’s house and retrieve Paco after leaving the ice cream parlor?
“That’s the closest I’ve ever been to a marriage proposal,” she finally said. “Let’s just say I had something different in mind for the event.”
If he gave her half a lead, she might just do it. Torie tried to be honest and forthright with others. Besides, if she was going to suffer with the knowledge of such a dire predicament, then he should have to suffer, too. It was only fair.
Torie tried to be fair, too.
Besides, what if ...
No. Don’t go there. Absolutely, positively don’t go there.
Unaware of her inner turmoil, Matt scooped up a handful of pebbles off the ground and threw them one by one down the hill. “I admire the way you’ve kept it together throughout all this, Victoria. If it helps, I don’t think it’ll last much longer. We’ll find the slime who’s doing this, and you’ll get your life back.” Capturing her gaze, he murmured, “I promise.”
But will I get my heart back?
They sat quietly for a time, watching the sun sink behind the hilltops, the sky awash with red and gold. As the brilliant colors muted to shades of pink and purple, Matt said, “It’s been a helluva day.”
“That it has.”
“You know, Victoria, I understand what you’re feeling.”
What? I doubt it.
“My brothers and I did something stupid when I was in my first year of college. In his first act of parenting in years, Branch cut us off financially and sent us away from here and from each other. We didn’t know where each other ended up. You know what? A selfish part of me was happy about it. I was the oldest and Branch hadn’t been worth shooting since my mother died. Responsibility for my brothers fell on me. I don’t know that I recognized it at the time, but I was glad to be off on my own, with no one to answer to but my own conscience. I was glad to finally have the chance to live my life for me, to follow the path I wanted to follow.”
“Where did he send you?”
“A ranch in Montana. I hated it. Stayed only long enough to save up enough money to get me where I wanted to go.”
“Where was that?”
“A navy recruiter’s office.”
“Wait a minute. I thought you wanted to make your own decisions, to answer to no one else. So you up and join the navy?”
“You’re not seeing the big picture. I’ve always loved the water, been fascinated by the ocean. I wanted to travel. I was broke at the time, so the service was my best option to do what I wanted to do. Signing up was my choice, my decision, and I made it independent of expectations by anyone other than myself. I loved the sense of freedom that gave me.” His grin was wry. “There’s nothing quite like the selfishness of youth.”
“Are you telling me I need to grow up?”
He laughed. “No, not at all. If anything, I was reminding myself to tread carefully as I approach another life-changing decision.”
“What’s that?”
“Physically, I can’t do the job anymore. Either I take the desk job they’ve offered me or I retire and do something else.”
“I’m having a hard time seeing James Bond at a desk job.”
He groaned. “Would you give up the Bond business, please? I do think I’ve mentioned it drives me freakin’ crazy.”
Ignoring that, she asked, “So, what’s the problem? Are you having trouble figuring out what you want?”
“Yeah, I am. That’s why I came home, although I haven’t exactly had much time for it.”
“Don’t blame me if you can’t make up your mind. From my point of view, it’s a no-brainer.”
“And why would you say that?”
She gestured toward the vineyard. “When did you buy this land?”
“A few years back.”
“Before the accident in the helicopter?”
“You mean before you shot me and ruined my leg?”
“Don’t be snotty. I’m trying to make a point here. This land represents something.”
“Yeah, a way to stick it to my father. I bought it out from under him.”
“Maybe that’s part of it, but that’s not all of it.”
“You’re going to say that I bought it to give me an excuse to come home. That deep down I want to reconcile with my father and that Four Brothers gives me an excuse to do that. I could come home and grow my grapes and bottle my wine. I could settle down and live the life I’d have lived if my mother hadn’t died when she did. I’ve thought of all that and maybe there’s some truth to it, but—”
“You’re putting words in my mouth, Callahan.” Torie stretched out her legs, crossing them at the ankles. “Here’s what I think. I think coming back to Texas and planting roots here would be wrong for you.”
He bristled. “What?”
“If you wanted this, you’d have already been here. The gunshot gave you the perfect excuse. You had it all set up so that you could come home and sink your roots. But you didn’t do it when you had the chance, so that tells me it’s not right and deep down you know it.”
He rolled to his feet, shoving his hands in his back pockets, and gazed out at the deepening dusk. “That’s certainly a strong opinion from someone who once hung from a helicopter to take Peeping Tom photographs of a celebrity wedding.”
She ignored the insult. “It makes sense. You chose the navy. Then at some point, you chose to work for the CIA. You’ve lived the life of a nomad, an adventurer, and maybe that’s what suits you. Maybe you needed to buy the ranch to figure out that isn’t what you really want.”
“Pretty expensive lesson.”
“I understand you have money to burn, so what does that matter? God bless microchips, hmm? Besides, you gave your best friend his dream and that’s what really matters to you. People matter to you. Les, your brothers, even your father.”
“Hold on a minute.” He whirled around and glared at her. “When did I lose control of this conversation? I’m supposed to be making you feel better, not have you psychoanalyzing me.”
“But psychoanalyzing you does make me feel better.” She grinned like an imp. “It makes me remember that even though I have a crazy creep on my tail, I’m still mentally healthier than most people out there, present company included.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“I know what I want, Callahan. Maybe I can’t have it, but at least I know what it is.”
“So what is it you want?”
Oh, what the heck. Quit being chicken. Roll the dice, Bradshaw. That’s what you do. She drew a deep breath, then confessed, “You.”
He reared backward. “Me!”
“Pitiful, isn’t it?” She sighed with real dismay and added. “I always fall for the wrong type of guy. I like alpha male bad boys who don’t treat me as nicely as they should. It’s a character flaw of mine. I’m in love with you, Matt Callahan.”
Washington, DC
Perfect.
She exited the building’s front door alone, her stubby little skirted legs moving quickly as they carried her into the billowing chill of a stiff spring wind. Silly woman still wore a lab coat. Wonder if she’ll have enough sense to take it off before lunching at the Four Seasons?
She’d been easy. The woman was clueless and flattered by the opportunity to be interviewed by such a prominent and respected magazine. Extracting the information from her would be a breeze.
She was coming closer now. He pulled the ball cap lower and hunched down in the rental’s front seat. Look at that long blond hair. Clear, healthy complexion. His grip on the steering wheel tightened.
She looked so much like the bitch.
The bitch.
The bitch.
Blood rushed, pulse pounded. The bitch. The bitch. The bitch.
Foot tapped against the gas pedal.
She ruined everything. Took everything away. She’ll pay ... pay ... pay.
Foot stomped, pressed the pedal to the floor. Tires spun.
The bitch the bitch the bitch.
Her face turned. Surprise, then fear. Terror.
His cackling laughter rang out inside the rental car. Wait ... wait ... turn the wheel now.
The bitch dived away, fell to the ground, just as the car swerved and roared past.
His laughter peaked, then faded away.
Hmm ... hope she doesn’t cancel lunch.
“She’s really good,” Mark Callahan said as he flipped through the bluebonnet photographs Torie had loaded onto the lake house computer. “I think she should call the boyfriend.”
“Ex-boyfriend, and I think that’s a dumbass idea.” Matt prowled the room, scowling down at the stack of printouts his brother had handed him.
“What’s dumbass is wasting any more time on someone who I’ve all but eliminated from our suspect list.”
“I still like him for it.”
“I can put him in Europe the day of the explosion.”
“Last time I checked, they have international flights out of LAX.”
“You just want him to be the perp because he used to shack up with your fiancée.”
“I’m not his fiancée,” Torie said, breezing into the room at the same time Matt snapped, “Shut up.”
An uncomfortable silence settled over the room. Matt resisted the urge to rake his fingers through his hair, knowing better than to betray any nervousness under the circumstances. He and Torie had yet to have a private moment to talk since the single most cowardly moment of his life.
He still shuddered to think about his reaction to her punch-in-the-gut declaration. The way he’d lurched to his feet, stammered out a stupid excuse, and fled was damned shameful. Humiliating. It embarrassed him to think about it.
And he still didn’t know what to say to her.
Torie Bradshaw wasn’t the first woman who’d confessed her love to him, but she was the first woman he believed actually meant it. She was the first woman who left him clueless as to a response, even now, a day after the fact.
Oblivious of the undercurrents, Mark offered Torie a sheepish grin. “He doesn’t like the idea of you talking to your old boyfriend.”
Great. Wonderful. Thanks for the help, brother. “Don’t be ridiculous.” Matt shot his brother a scowl. “I just don’t know what it’s going to help.”
“I want to do it.” Torie folded her arms and faced Matt. The fact that she didn’t look wounded or weepy relieved him.
“I don’t see what it can hurt,” she continued. “I never truly did believe that Jason would do these things, and after learning that he was in Rome the day my apartment exploded ... no. If he’d done something like that, he’d have stayed around to watch the fallout. Jason was always one who fed off the excitement of the moment.”
“What would you say to Banning if you did call him?” Matt asked. “You gonna come out and ask him, ‘Hey, did you blow up my apartment?’ “
Now emotion entered her expression—disdain. Turning to Mark, she said, “I’ll have to choose my words carefully. If I were to tell him what’s been happening, he’d want to write about it. A stalker-being-stalked story is right up Jason’s alley.”
Mark’s gaze flickered to Matt’s. Silently, he asked, What do you think? Want to go for that exposure?
Matt indicated no with a barely noticeable shake of his head.
“Jason’s birthday is coming up. How about I call and wish him a happy birthday, then wing it from there? I’ll feel him out. I’ll be able to tell if he’s lying to me or not.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Not everyone possesses your well-practiced talent to lie like a rug, Callahan. Speaking of which, did you happen to read this morning’s newspaper?”
“Which one?” Matt subscribed to a number of papers. “The Times? Washington Post?”
“No, try the Brazos Bend Standard. Imagine my surprise to see an article by one Sara-Beth Branson filled with quotes attributed to me. I’m pretty sure I’d remember lying through my teeth to a woman named Sara-Beth.”
“You were in the shower when she called, and she was on a tight deadline. I tried to make it easy on everyone.”
“I just found it so interesting to learn that the Jays have offered to host our wedding in Bali.”
“They love you. They gave you their dog.”
“Y’all quit bickering,” Mark said. He grabbed one of the prepaid and untraceable cell phones he made a habit of carrying, and tossed it to her. “Call him.”
Paco chose that moment to trot into the room and sidle up to Mark. When Mark reached down to pet him, Matt shook his head. The dog had taken a liking to Mark. He followed him around, looked up at him with big, soulful eyes. This from the mutt who wouldn’t tolerate anyone other than Branch.
It angered Mark at first, but now Matt suspected that his brother liked the attention. He swore he’d seen Mark sneaking table scraps to Paco at lunch yesterday.
He dragged his gaze off the dog to see Torie checking the clock, and Matt could tell she was calculating the time difference between Brazos Bend and Rome. Punching in the numbers, she said, “He won’t recognize the number, so he’s liable not to answer.”
“If he’s even in Rome,” Matt grumbled. He moved to stand in front of her, his feet braced apart, his arms folded, his mouth schooled into a scowl. “If it’s not faked. Put it on speakerphone.”
Torie hesitated, then set her phone on the desk and took a seat in front of it. Jason answered on the second ring. “Pronto?”
“Hi, Jase.”
“Allora, io non sento bene... .”
I can’t hear very well, Matt translated.
“Jason? It’s me.”
“Torie? Torie, is that you?”
“Yes.”
“Wow. Okay. Hold on a minute.” Banning’s voice sounded excited, hopeful. “Let me get somewhere I can hear better.”
“Sure.” Torie chewed at her bottom lip, a spark of guilt in her eyes.
A few moments later, Jason Banning spoke again. “There. That’s better. I was in a restaurant and it’s noisy.”
“Don’t let me interrupt your meal.”
“No, it’s fine. It’s just drinks before dinner. I’m in Florence on a story for the Globe. It’s great to hear from you, Torie. Where are you?”
She shut her eyes. “I’m in the States.”
“Oh.” Banning’s disappointment carried through the phone. “So ... what’s up?”
“I wanted to wish you happy birthday and ... oh, Jase, that’s not it. Things are so mixed-up.”
“What’s wrong, love?”
“I just ... I want ... Jason, I’m sorry about how things turned out with us. I never meant to hurt you.”
“I know. I knew it then, too. You have a good heart, Torie Lynn.” He waited a beat, then asked, “Does this mean you’re having second thoughts?”
Torie grimaced and rubbed her temples. “No, Jason. It’s just that ... well ... I’ve had my heart broken, too, and I know now how it feels. I wish I’d been ... gentler with you.”
Matt gritted his teeth as his stomach took a roll.
“It’s okay, doll,” Jason replied. “You were fine. I wouldn’t listen. I’m sorry I was such an ass about it. I ... didn’t want to let you go.”
Matt saw a tear spill from Torie’s eyes. Crap. Could he possibly feel like more of a heel?
“You did the right thing, though,” Banning continued. “I know it. I knew all along that you weren’t as crazy about me as I was about you.”
Softly, Torie said, “That’s not a pleasant way to live.”
“That’s why we were both better off ending it when we did.” After a moment’s silence, he asked, “You okay?”
“Yes. I’m fine. Really, I am. I wanted you to know that I’m sorry and that there’s no hard feelings on my side.”
Banning let out a little laugh. “Despite my stalking you?”
Matt, Mark, and Torie all straightened and stared at the phone. “Stalking?” Torie asked.
“I should have taken it like a man. I’m ashamed of the way I kept calling after you moved out. Hope you didn’t go over on your minutes.”
“No.” Torie relaxed, smiled. “No.”
“Torie ... this fellow who broke your heart. Let me tell you something. If he’s too big a fool to see what a treasure he had in you, then you’re better off without him. You know that, don’t you?”
She turned away from Matt. “I do.”
“And don’t forget it. Hey, did you hear about Giorgio? He took a spill on a scooter in the Piazza Navona and broke both his legs.” That signaled a conversational turn to business, and Matt had heard enough. Exiting the study, he motioned for Mark to follow him.
Outside, Mark asked, “What’s going on with you and Torie? Tension was so thick in there you could have fried it and served it with syrup.”
Matt hesitated. He wasn’t accustomed to discussing his personal life with anyone, not even his brothers. Yet, he could use a sounding board right now. “She thinks she’s in love with me.”
“Uh duh. That’s obvious.”
“You knew?”
“After the looks I’ve seen her sneak your way, I figured as much. So, did you blow her off like all the others?”
“I didn’t blow her off.” Matt rested both hands on the porch rail and leaned his weight on it. “I didn’t ... well ... I didn’t do anything. I just sort of ... left.”
“You left her hanging.”
“Yes, that’s pretty much it.”
Mark propped his butt on the porch rail and shook his head at Matt. “You dipwad.”
“I didn’t know what to say to her.”
“Why? Did you forget what you usually say?”
It was a legitimate question. How many women had he left over the years when he sensed them growing too close? More than a few. He had a regular routine about it. A good excuse, a compliment, a gift. The kiss-off. “This isn’t a usual situation. Victoria isn’t like the others.”
“Now we’re getting somewhere.” Mark shoved away from the porch railing and took a seat in the rocking chair. Crossing his right ankle over his left knee, he asked, “Why is Torie different?”
“I don’t know!” Now Matt paced the porch. “It’s just so confusing. She’s so confusing. She’s a paparazzo, for heaven’s sake.”
“And this is relevant because ... ?”
“Because I’m at a crossroads, here. I’m a thirty-six-year-old former field agent with a bad leg and a desk job waiting for me. The days of movie stars and princesses are behind me. What’s ahead of me are ... are ... schoolteachers.”
Mark blinked twice. “You stupid idiot.”
Caught up in his own misery, Matt barely heard him. “She doesn’t think the vineyard is right for me. Thinks if I wanted this life, I’d already be living it. But she doesn’t know me. Doesn’t know what I want. I’ve always liked the idea of home and hearth. It just wasn’t time. Well, I’m not James effing Bond anymore, am I? I don’t need a Bond girl riding a Vespa and toting a camera. A vineyard and a casserole queen might be just the right thing for me. I always liked the idea of coaching Little League baseball.”
“You snobby stupid idiot,” Mark corrected. “So, what, she’s not good enough for you? Is that what you’re saying?”
“Of course not!”
“That’s what it sounds like to me. And I have to tell you, bro, it chaps my ass.”
Matt stopped, turned around, and faced his brother. “What kind of a comment is that?”
Now Mark shoved to his feet, the words exploding from his mouth like they’d been cooking in his gut for years. “Do you know how lucky you are to have a woman like Torie Bradshaw offer you her heart? Are you so dumb that you’d throw away a chance of happiness just because she doesn’t fit your vision of the woman you’re supposed to want at this stage in life? And to think I’ve always looked up to you, respected your intelligence. Shame on me for being such a dumbass.”
“Now, look.”
“No, you look.” Mark poked his shoulder with his finger. “I knew more at eighteen than you do today.”
“The hell you say.”
“I didn’t let preconceived notions blind me to possibilities. I didn’t let small-town prejudice limit me and as a result, I had the happiest two and a half years of my life. So take this as gospel, brother, and don’t attempt to give me advice ever again. I don’t listen to fools and fool you are if the reasons you’ve stated are the reasons you’re turning away from Torie Bradshaw.”
He turned to leave, but Matt stopped him with a hand on his arm. “What two and a half years, Mark? What are you talking about? Who are you talking about?”
His brother blinked. “I can’t believe I ... .”
“Talk to me, Mark.”
Mark looked away, gazed out toward the vineyard, his hands shoved in the back pockets of his jeans. Matt knew his brother well and he identified the signs of an inner struggle. His eyes clouded and he clenched his teeth so hard that a muscle in his jaw twitched. “Mark?”
Mark closed his eyes, swallowed hard, then said, “She reminds me of Carrie. Dammit, she reminds me so much of Carrie.” His voice broke on the repetition of the name.
“Who’s Carrie?”
“My wife.”
“Wife?” Matt’s jaw dropped. His eyes went wide. Mark married? When did this happen? “You never mentioned a wife.”
Mark rubbed the base of his ring finger on his left hand, but Matt didn’t think he realized it. He gazed blindly ahead. Or into the past. He spoke in a voice rough with emotion. “She was a waitress at a truck stop outside of Atlanta. She hadn’t finished high school. Carrie barely made enough money to keep a roof over her head, but she was ... alive. And she ... we ...” He closed his eyes. “I loved her. Oh, how I loved her.”
“What happened?”
Mark didn’t respond and Matt realized he’d lost his brother into his past. He didn’t know what to say. He wondered if Luke knew about this. Finally, sensing it was time to bring his brother back, he asked, “Where is your Carrie, Mark?”
“She ... died. Branch—” He broke off abruptly and shook his head. “Look, she’s gone. I don’t want to get into that. It’s over and done with.”
“But—”
“Leave it be.”
For the first time since John’s death, Matt saw tears in Mark’s eyes. Beyond stunned, he pushed no further.
“Just don’t be stupid where Torie is concerned, Matthew. You’ll regret it the rest of your life. Trust me. I know about regret.” With that, Mark hopped down from the porch and headed for the hill, taking long, determined strides.
Shocked by the news he’d learned, Matt stood gazing after him, gaping. A wife? A wife he’d never mentioned? Did Luke know? And Branch. What role did Branch play in the whole thing? Was that the source of Mark’s animosity toward their father? Matt had long suspected there was more to it than the resentment they all held against Branch in relation to John’s death.
“A wife.” Named Carrie. Torie reminded Mark of his wife, Carrie. “I’ll be damned.”
“Very possibly.” Torie stepped out onto the porch.
Matt bit off a curse. “Did you hear?”
“Enough.”
“I’m just ... . I don’t know what to say. Why didn’t he tell us?”
“I suppose he had his reasons. Whatever they may be, he’s still raw.”
“Yeah. I just ... wow.” Matt blew out a heavy breath as his brother’s words about regret echoed in his mind. “Torie—”
“No.” She waved her hand, cutting him off. “Back to Jason. Do you now agree that he isn’t our stalker?”
“Yeah.” Matt pulled his gaze away from Mark’s retreating figure and pinned Torie with a look. “Yeah. That man wouldn’t hurt you. He’s still in love with you.”
“He’s the one who risked his heart. It’s not my fault or my responsibility. I believe that, Callahan, all right?”
Matt understood that her comment offered him absolution, and yet ... “To quote a great philosopher of our age, ‘Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter like unrequited love.’”
She smiled with recognition. “Poor Charlie Brown. He’s better off without Lucy, though. I hope someday he realizes it.”
Matt watched his brother disappear over a hill. I hope someday I don’t regret it.
He knocked on her door just before midnight.
Torie was still awake, reading a booklet called Texas Wine Grape Guide, published by the state Department of Agriculture, in hopes of boring herself to sleep. So far, it hadn’t worked. Her mind continued to spin.
Images clicked through her brain like a toy viewfinder out of control. Jason and her in Paris. Matt and her in the cenote. Her father. Her sister. Matt in the helicopter. Gigi in the bluebonnets.
Rap. Rap. Rap. “Victoria?”
She set aside the booklet. “Come in, Matt.”
The door swung open and he stepped inside. He wore khakis and a blue button-down shirt with the Four Brothers Vineyard logo on the pocket. He’d attended a barbecue with Les in town earlier. Something about a planning meeting for the upcoming Texas Wine Trails spring promotion by the Texas Wine and Grape Growers Association. He’d asked her to attend with him, but she’d begged off, using a very real headache as an excuse. Mark had stayed at the lake house until his brother returned. She’d heard Mark leave for Les’s place forty-five minutes ago.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” Matt asked.
“All right.”
“How’s your headache?”
“Better.”
“Good.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels. “People in town are excited about getting their kid portraits tomorrow. Were you able to get hold of everyone, set up all the appointments?”
“Yes. I should be done by noon.”
”Good. Kathy Hudson wants us to come to lunch and I told her we’d be there. No catfish, though. I promise. She mentioned salads. Girl stuff.”
“That’s fine.”
When he made no move to leave, she folded her hands in her lap and practiced being patient. Finally, he said, “I want to apologize. For running off the way I did after you ... you ...”
“No need.” Really no need. “Let’s just forget about it, shall we?”
“I didn’t know what to say to you, Victoria. Honestly, I still don’t.”
“You don’t have to say anything, Callahan. I wasn’t asking for a reply. I told you what I told you because ... well ... it’s who I am. I don’t keep things inside of me.”
“That’s a good quality.”
“For a photographer, maybe. Probably not for a spy.”
“You matter to me, Torie.”
An electrocardiogram would have registered a definite spike at that. She mattered. Well, that was nice to know. Nothing to pin her hopes on, though, that’s for certain.
“I need you to know that, to believe that. It’s one of the few things I’m certain about right now.” As he spoke, he started pacing. Five steps up, five steps back. “This isn’t normal for me. Ordinarily, I’m a very decisive man. I can decide to shoot a man easier than to knock on your door tonight.”
“Relationships aren’t combat, Callahan.”
“In my experience, they are.” He stopped, rubbed the bridge of his nose, and muttered, “Maybe I should see a shrink.”
Okay, that was funny. She could picture him stretched out on a therapist’s couch. He’d have chosen a female therapist and the transference thing would happen except it’d go from doctor to patient rather than vice versa. She’d unpin her hair and shake it out; then she’d cross her legs and swing her foot, letting her shoe slide off her heel and hang just by the toe.
All right. Maybe it wasn’t so funny.
“Matt, there’s nothing wrong with you. With everything you have going on in your life, it’s no wonder you’re confused. You’ll figure everything out in good time. Just be patient with yourself.”
“How about you? Will you be patient with me?”
Whoa. His question echoed through her mind. Patient for what, exactly?
That took them to dangerous territory. Did she dare hope that while he tried to figure it all out, he might decide he loved her? Could she set herself up for that kind of fall? What about her pride? Mooning over a man who might never return her feelings ... well ... no. She’d stress eat. She’d probably get fat. Peanut butter had too many calories to keep eating when it didn’t taste good.
“You still don’t get it, do you?” She rose and approached him, fisted her hands and hit his chest. “You frustrate me to death. Listen up, Callahan. I don’t need patience because I’m not waiting on anything from you! I don’t expect anything. Well, aside from having you catch my stalker. I’m not asking for you to love me back, Matt. I just want ...”
Him. She wanted him. Oh, jeez. He was wearing aftershave. Armani aftershave.
“What do you want, Torie? Ask me for something I can give you. Let me do that much.”
She had absolutely no pride where Matt Callahan was concerned. He was her weakness. Torie licked her lips. Even knowing heartbreak lay ahead, she simply couldn’t resist. His brothers called Matt an adrenaline junkie. Well, she was a Matt addict. She knew the fall might kill her, but for now, she wanted the high. “Okay, Callahan. We can do that. Here’s the deal. From now until I leave Brazos Bend, I want us to be a couple.”
He winced. “Torie ...”
She stepped toward him, put her hand against his chest. “I want to be with you. I’m tired of fighting it.”
“I don’t understand. You told your boyfriend that I broke your heart. I want to be fair to you.”
“Fair is what they have in October in Dallas, I believe. I want adventure, Callahan. I crave it. I crave you. Indulge me.”
“It’s probably a mistake.”
“Maybe so, but it’ll be my mistake, and I’m okay with that. I don’t want to be afraid to live while I’m busy being afraid to die. Take me to bed, Callahan. Thrill me.”
A crooked smile on his lips, he shook his head. “You have twice the courage that I do.”
“You love that about me.”
“Yeah, Shutterbug.” His voice was a rough, raspy sound as he swept her up into his arms. “I do.”