The castle had finally returned to common everyday life, for all the guests who had come to attend the games and celebrations had returned to their own lands and their chiefdoms. The McDonnels of Glynn had left their daughters and their niece to begin their lives with their new husbands, and headed back to the far north. Alainn’s grandfather had gone home as well. She’d become emotional when he’d come to say his farewell to her. Though they’d only known each other a short time, she felt close to him and was thankful she would soon be allowed to become better acquainted with him when she and Killian journeyed to their home.
Riley and Mary had gone as well. Although Riley had mostly patched up his differences with his father, he had decided it would be advantageous to become chieftain of the O’Rorke clan, with assistance from his grandfather, of course. Though Alainn wondered how Riley and their grandfather might manage their relationship and their chiefdom when they claimed such vast differences of opinions in religious matters, she felt Riley had matured much in the last months, and that her grandfather’s calming nature would be a good influence on the younger man.
She and Mary had shed many tears when they’d said their parting words as well. They had become close friends and Alainn was pleased she would soon only live a short distance from them. How peculiar fate was for the woman who was to have been Killian’s wife, Alainn now thought of as a valued friend.
Lady Siobhan had remained here at Castle O’Brien for the time being. Although she had spoken of ending her relationship with her husband, she had chosen not to leave with her father and Riley and Mary when they’d gone on to Castle O’Rorke. Alainn knew the decision was weighing heavy on her mind. She recalled their recent conversation regarding the situation.
“Ahh, dear Alainn, with all these magical abilities you possess, would you be capable of telling me what path is best for me? Might you look into my future and tell me what I should do?”
“Nay, ’tis certainly not a decision that should be made by way of magic, and I have attempted to calm all my powers and abstain from using magic at least until my child is born. Sure this harrowing decision can’t be made by anyone bar you, Aunt Siobhan.”
Her aunt’s lovely face appeared drawn and weary with the weight of her worry and her eyes held an uncommon sadness and the puffiness of having shed many tears regarding her future, and the difficult choice she had before her.
“Well, if not by use of your abilities might you give me any female advice simply as my niece and my friend, another woman whose opinion I highly value?”
“Well, firstly you must tell me how you feel regarding your husband; do you maintain feelings for him? Do you love the man?”
She seemed to contemplate this for a time before she spoke. “I did not love Hugh when we were married; I admit full well that truth. It was an arranged marriage and of course, I had the usual reservations and concerns when we were wed. I thought he was a handsome sort, and I was attracted to him. He did not mistreat me. He could be harsh and demanding as a chieftain, but as a husband he was not unkind. In truth, I did grow to love him. We created our two fine boys and we shared in the love and pride of being parents.
All was well for a time, we were happy, I suppose, and then the curse was upon us. After we lost our babies, five times we went through the unimaginable grief and despair of losing five wee newborn babes, Hugh changed markedly, and so did I. We no longer shared a bed, by my request for I couldn’t bear the thought of carrying another child all those months to full term knowing it would be lost as well.
He did not force himself upon me of which I suppose I am thankful. I knew he had taken other women to still his desires. I accepted it for I was unwilling to go to his bed. Of course it pained me knowing I was his wife and he bedded any number of other women, but I was resigned to the fact. And so we lived out our lives in such a manner for so many years. I knew when he looked at me that he desired me still; that he did care for me in his own way.”
Alainn looked at her aunt with much empathy as she spoke on.
“I did not think of him as a bad man, of course as a chieftain he needed to make harsh decisions that were not always easy and perform tasks that I’m certain he did not relish, but it was only recently that I felt his temperament and characteristics changed so drastically. He became a stranger that I did not know and I most certainly did not care for.”
“Aye, I never thought of your husband as an unreasonable man. I considered him to be a fair chieftain. It is clear the combinations and amounts of the remedies and elixirs he was ingesting severely altered his temperament and affected his mind.”
“Aye, I know he committed some terrible deeds and I am well aware I know not all of what he did. I see how Killian despises his uncle and that was long before he was issued the lashes in your stead. I understand Killian’s anger when at the time Hugh ordered the lashings he knew you were with child. That in itself is surely unforgivable. I am certain the information I do not possess has much to do with Hugh attempting to keep you apart. Killian is a wise man for his young age and I feel inclined to agree with him, if he cannot forgive Hugh then I am uncertain if I can either.”
Alainn turned away at these words for there were, indeed, many events her aunt was unaware of, one being that Hugh had attempted to rape Alainn and that he had also ordered the two vile, untrustworthy McGilvary brothers to have their wicked way with her as well. Even still, Alainn did accredit much of his instability and bad judgment to the use of mixing herbal remedies. An alchemist and a healer had great responsibility in handing out remedies and the alchemist in Galway had given Hugh elixirs that most certainly affected his mind. In truth, a vast many people were driven to madness because of such misdeeds.
If Alainn ever thought of actually attempting to speak in explanation of Hugh O’Brien’s unsavory state and grave misdeeds, Killian refused to listen to her insistent reasoning. Even with the challenge ended, with Killian sparing his uncle’s life and Hugh saving Killian’s life, Alainn believed they would never truly be close again. Killian could never forgive the man for all he’d done to her and to keep them apart. Her continued attempts in deducting how gravely detrimental the herbal potions had ill affected him did nothing to ease Killian’s disdain for his uncle, and she knew he felt a sense of betrayal when she attempted to ease the differences between them. Alainn believed she actually harbored fewer ill feelings toward the man than Killian did.
She surmised her husband’s pride and loyalty were a force to be reckoned with and, when crossed, he would not be inclined to forgive. Yet deep within her heart, Alainn felt there was a distinct possibility the chieftain had been plagued and pursued by the dark demon, and that in his mad condition and darkened state, the demon had perhaps nearly won him over.
Alainn would never be able to loathe Hugh O’Brien completely for he had saved Killian’s life and because of that, part of her would always be thankful to the man. Now that the chieftain had refrained from taking the herbal remedies he appeared to be returning to the man Alainn had once trusted and defended. She did not envy her aunt in her difficult decision for past mistakes and wrongdoings held much weight, yet without forgiveness future peace would surely be impossible.
“Sure it must be you who decides what must be done, Aunt Siobhan. And whatever decision you come to, you know I shall respect it and forever support you.”
The other woman warmly embraced her and smiled gratefully. “I am most appreciative of you, Alainn. I have always been, since long before you were known to be my kin. You saved the life of my dear, precious son, Rory, and I am thankful every day for that.
In truth, it may not be Hugh I consider in this decision as much as Rory. He is a dear son to me and a good, kind, sensitive man. I know he will miss his twin most assuredly and being apart will weigh heavy on his gentle heart. They have spent their entire lives together, barely ever been apart. Before Riley journeyed with his new bride to live with father, surely my twin boys had never been parted longer than a day at most. I cannot imagine that I could leave Rory, as well, and to be apart indefinitely and far distanced from him, not when I have nearly lost him twice before, to the fever and the fall from the tower.
Riley will have my patient and loving father to see him safe, and you and Killian will be nearby also, and so I will not worry for him as readily. And perhaps if I remain here, I might serve as a voice of reason when Rory and his father are surely at odds with the joint chieftainship for Rory has already begun to join in many of the duties of a chieftain.”
“I believe you may have made the decision after all.” Alainn smiled, and the other woman nodded.
“I believe I have at that!”
Alainn recalled the relieved expression on her aunt’s face as she’d taken leave from the chamber in a much lighter disposition as though a great weight had been lifted from her.