For a few seconds the urge to share inundated Jacob. He’d never told anyone but Paul. Jacob stared into her gaze, void of any judgment. The words formed in his mind.
“Jacob?”
He turned away from Hannah in the middle of the barn and strode to the entrance. How could he tell her what he’d done, that he’d been responsible for another person’s death? He valued her friendship and didn’t want to see disappointment, or something worse, in her eyes. Their rocky start had finally smoothed out. He didn’t want to go back to how it had been in the beginning.
Hannah’s hand settled on his arm. The touch went straight to his heart. The guilt he’d lived with for twenty-one years whisked the words away. He couldn’t tell her, but he had to say something.
He glanced at her slightly behind him and to the side. “Before I came to the Hendersons, I was an angry teen who had even run away from several foster homes.”
“Because of your childhood?” Sympathy edged her voice.
“Yes. Paul’s the one who taught me about Jesus. He showed me there was another way besides giving in to my anger.”
“Anger can consume a person.”
“It nearly had me. I never want to go back to that place.” He shuddered.
Hannah moved to stand in front of Jacob. Her fingers skimmed down his arm, and she grasped his hand. “I don’t see that happening.”
“Not as long as the Lord is in my life.”
“Hannah, I’m finished. I forgot to eat breakfast,” Terry said.
She looked beyond Jacob and grinned. “Gather the others and we’ll head back.”
In the past few years he’d done a pretty good job of throwing himself totally into his work and putting the past behind him. But lately he hadn’t been able to do that. Why, Lord? Why now?
Nancy took his hand. “I don’t want to leave Abby.”
“Abby?” That was Nancy’s mother’s name.
She pointed toward the pen. “The puppy. I named her Abby. I love that name.”
His heart ripped in half, and he had no words for Nancy, having been in her shoes and remembering the pain of rejection he’d suffered as a child. Racking his brain for something to say, Jacob cleared his throat. “I like the name, too.”
Nancy tugged him down and whispered in his ear, “Will you talk to Hannah about Abby?”
A lump lodged in his throat. “Sure.”
Hannah sat at one end of the long dining-room table with Jacob at the other end. For the past minute silence had ruled because all the children were stuffing bites of pie into their mouths.
Jacob pushed his empty plate away. “That’s it. I’m full up to my earlobes. Any more and it will come out the top of my head.”
A couple of the children giggled.
“Dr. Jacob, you’re funny,” Nancy said, shoving her plate away. “I’m full up to my earlobes, too.”
“That was the best Thanksgiving dinner I’ve had, Meg.” Jacob wiped his mouth with his napkin.
The older woman blushed. “Oh, it was nothing.”
“Who agrees with me?”
Everyone’s arm shot up into the air. Meg beamed from ear to ear.
“And to show my appreciation, I’ll clean up the dishes. Who’s going to help me?” Jacob scanned the children’s faces.
Everyone’s arm dropped.
Hannah fought to keep her expression serious. “I guess you’re stuck doing them by yourself.”
“Who’s going to take pity on me and help?” Jacob’s gaze again flitted from one child to the next.
“I will,” Lisa said.
“I can.” Andy stood and gathered up his plate.
“Thanks, you two, but you enjoy your time together. I’ll help Dr. Jacob.” Hannah rose.
Before she had a chance to reach for the dishes in front of her, the children fled the dining room with Lisa and Meg following at a more sedate pace.
“I’ve never seen them move quite so fast,” Jacob said with a chuckle.
“Not cleaning up is quite a motivator.”
“Wash or dry?”
“You’re the guest. You choose.” She stacked the plates and carried them into the kitchen.
Five minutes later with the table cleared, Jacob rolled up his long sleeves and began rinsing the dishes off for the dishwasher. “Noah said something about coming over after eating at Peter and Laura’s.”
“Speaking of Noah, I’ve been thinking. Do you think he’ll give Lisa a job at one of his restaurants?”
“You’ll have to ask him. He’s always looking for good help. Why? Did Lisa say something to you?”
“Well, no, but she doesn’t have a job. I thought I would help her find something.”
“Don’t you think you should talk to her first?”
Hannah took the glass that Jacob handed her. “I didn’t want to get her hopes up if it wasn’t possible. She doesn’t have many skills and has only worked in a fast-food restaurant.”
“It’ll be hard finding a decent job without a high-school diploma. Will she be able to stay at the halfway house?”
“Yes, and they have a program there that assists people in getting their GED.”
Jacob shifted to face her. “Hannah, you can’t live Lisa’s life for her. She has to want it—especially being off drugs—if it’s going to work.”
She averted her gaze, uncomfortable under the intensity of his. “I know. She loves Andy. I know it. They belong together.”
“Then she’ll stay off the drugs if that’s the way to be involved in his life.” Sharpness sliced through his words.
Reestablishing eye contact with him, she glimpsed the pain he experienced as a child who hadn’t meant much to his mother—at least not enough to stop taking drugs. “I have to try to help. That’s why I went into social work in the first place.” She took another dish from him. “In fact, I found Nancy’s mother. She’s only thirty miles from here in Deerfield.”
He arched a brow. “And what do you intend to do with that information?”
“I’m going to see her next Wednesday.”
“Do you want some company?”
Surprised, she immediately answered, “Yes,” then took a harder look at Jacob and noticed the tightening about his mouth and the inflexibility in his eyes. “Why do you want to come?”
“I don’t want you to go alone. I’ve read Nancy’s file. I know the rough characters her mother has hung out with.” Censorship sounded in his voice.
Hannah straightened, thrusting back her shoulders. “I have to try. Have you seen how upset Nancy is when she sees Andy with his mother?”
“Yes, I’ve seen her carrying her blanket and sucking her thumb more and more since Lisa has come into Andy’s life.”
“She misses her own mother.”
“Maybe. But maybe she’s just plain scared her mother might come get her.”
“I don’t think so. She’s asked me tons of questions about my mother.”
Mouth tightening, Jacob squirted some detergent into the sink and filled it up with hot water. “What time did you want to go? I can rearrange my afternoon appointments if that’s okay with you.”
“Fine. How about after lunch?”
“How about lunch then we can go?”
“Lunch?”
His chuckle tingled down her spine. “Yes, you’ve got to eat. I’ve got to eat. Let’s do it together then leave from there.”
“Sure.”
“Then it’s a date.”
A date? No, it wasn’t a date, she wanted to shout, but realized her panic would be conveyed. Instead she clamped her teeth together and didn’t say another thing until they had finished up with the pots and pans.
While she put away the meat platter, Jacob wiped down the counters. “Does Nancy’s mother know you’re coming?”
Jacob’s question in the quiet startled her. She whirled around. “No, I thought I would surprise her.”
“I hope you’re not the one who is surprised.”
She frowned. “I’m not totally naive. I don’t expect the woman to welcome me with open arms.”
“That’s good because she won’t.”
Tension pulsated between them as he stared at her.
Terry burst into the kitchen. “Noah is here! You’ve got to come see what he brought us.” The boy spun around and disappeared back through the entrance.
“Was that Terry who blew in and out of here?” Hannah asked with a laugh, needing to change the subject.
“Yep.”
The huge grin on Jacob’s face prompted her to ask, “Do you know what Noah brought?”
He nodded and quickly followed the boy out of the kitchen.
Exasperated at the lack of information, Hannah left, too, and found all the children out front, surrounding a pickup filled with bicycles, many different sizes. She stopped at Jacob’s side. “I guess that answers my problem about bikes for a ride. I’d only been able to come up with a few. Peter said he would work on it for me.”
“He did. Noah and I were his solution.”
“Y’all donated them?”
Jacob’s smile grew. “Yep. It should have been done before now. Sometimes I’m so focused on their well-being physically that I forget about their mental health.”
He waded his way through the crowd of children to help Noah lift the bikes out of the truck bed. As the two men did, they presented each one to a different kid.
Nancy hung back next to Hannah. The little girl glanced up at her. “I don’t know how to ride. I’ve never had a bike.”
Hannah pointed toward one still in the bed of the pickup. “That’s why there are training wheels on that one. Before you know it, you’ll be riding everywhere.”
The child stared at it, doubt in her eyes, a tiny frown on her face. “I guess.” She lowered her gaze to the ground at her feet.
“I’ll work with you this afternoon since Dr. Jacob and I want to take all of you on a bike ride this Saturday. He said something about there being a small lake near here that we could go to and have a picnic. What do you think?”
“Can I bring Abby?”
Hannah knelt in front of Nancy. “A bike ride probably isn’t the best place for a puppy.”
Jacob approached the little girl. “Here’s yours.” He set Nancy’s small bike with training wheels on it next to her.
She put her thumb in her mouth and looked up shyly at him, mumbling, “Thanks.”
Hannah settled her hand on the child’s shoulder. She saw the concern in Jacob’s expression and said, “I’m going to teach her how to ride over the next two days. She never has.”
Before he could say anything, the children encircled Noah and him, vying for the men’s attention with their enthusiasm.
“Andy’s always wanted a bike. He used to ride the boy’s in the apartment across the hall.” Lisa said, while watching her son, happiness plastering a smile on his face. “Who’s that with Dr. Hartman?”
“Noah Maxwell. He owns the Pizzeria chain. In fact, I wanted to talk to you about applying for a job. Would you be interested in working at one of his restaurants? I could talk to him for you if you are.” Jacob had been right—again. She needed to see if Lisa wanted a job at the Pizzeria before approaching Noah.
“At the halfway house they were going to help me look for something. ’Bout the only experience I have is at a food joint. One of the things I learnt at the rehab center was to ask for help when I need it. Thanks.”
“Then I’ll talk to Noah.”
Andy ran up to his mom. “Dr. Jacob said I could go on a bike ride with them on Saturday because my cast is coming off tomorrow.” After his announcement, he twirled around and raced back to the group.
Lisa followed her son, plowing into the middle of the children all getting on their bikes.
“Do you want to start your lesson now?” Hannah asked Nancy, who kept her gaze glued to the ground.
She shook her head. “I don’t wanna go on a ride. Can I stay here?”
“Why, honey?” Hannah lifted the child’s chin.
Tears pooled in Nancy’s eyes, and several coursed down her cheeks. “I just don’t. I heard Mommy say bikes are dangerous.” The little girl pulled away and stepped back toward the porch. She plopped down on the top stair, sucking her thumb and hugging her blanket.
“Nancy doesn’t want to ride?” Jacob stood right behind her.
“No. She thinks they’re dangerous.” Hannah kept her voice low so no one else heard.
“Having seen my share of bike accidents, I can’t totally disagree, but we’ve also gotten helmets for them.”
“I’ll see if someone can watch her while we go with the other children. I don’t want to force Nancy. Hopefully she’ll see the others enjoying it and want to learn to ride.”
Dressed in black slacks and a gray pullover sweater, Noah approached. “I think our gift is a big hit.”
“Did you have any doubt?” Hannah scanned the smiling kids and wanted to bottle this moment.
“No. But what are we going to do for Christmas? It will be hard to top this.”
“You don’t have—”
“This is the best way I can spend my money,” Noah interrupted Hannah. “These kids’ lives have been hard. Giving them some joy is priceless.”
She realized Noah had as big a heart as Jacob. Too bad, according to Laura, he didn’t want to settle down and have his own family. “I do have a favor to ask.”
“If it’s to go on the bike ride, I draw the line there.”
“No. I’d like you to interview Andy’s mother for a job at your restaurant. She needs a job and the only experience she’s had is as a waitress.”
When she started to say more, Noah held up his hand. “Done. I’ll talk to her.”
Hannah was at a loss for words. Realizing Jacob’s misgivings about Andy’s mom wanting to change, she’d practiced her speech to convince Noah to give Lisa a chance.
“I’ll give her a ride into town and talk to her tonight. Where’s she staying?”
“She’s staying at a halfway shelter two blocks from your first restaurant.”
“Fine. I know where that is.” There must have been something in her expression because he added, “I know she just completed a drug-rehab program. I’m aware of what goes on at the refuge even though I don’t get to spend as much time out here as Jacob.”
“Thanks. I appreciate you giving her a chance.” When Noah joined a couple of the boys by his truck, she said to Jacob, “It’s a shame he isn’t interested in having a family. Like you, he’s good with the kids.”
“You think I’m good with them?” A gleam glinted in his gaze.
“We might not always see eye to eye on certain issues, but I can’t ignore the fact you have a way with the children. Are you interested in having a family?” The second she asked the question she wanted to retreat. Why in the world had she asked him that? As if she might be interested in him and the answer.
“Yes. Paul was a great example of what a father can be.”
“Then why don’t you have one?” The urge to slap her hand over her mouth swamped her. She was digging a deep hole with her inquisitiveness.
He threw back his head and laughed. “I wish it were that simple. It takes two.”
Heat flooded her cheeks. She started to mention he was thirty-five, but this time she managed to keep quiet. “Oh, look at Gabe ride.”
On Saturday Hannah came to a stop near the small lake and hopped off her bicycle. Susie pulled up next to her while Jacob flanked her on the other side. “This is beautiful. We’ll have to come back in the spring when the trees are flowering. I see quite a few redbuds.”
“That’s our state tree.” Susie put her kickstand down. “We’ve been studying Oklahoma history in school.”
“I can see why it is. They’re everywhere.”
“Can we walk along the shore? We won’t go too far.”
“Make sure no one goes too close to the water.” Hannah took a swig from her water bottle.
“She told me Thanksgiving that she wanted to be a doctor like me.” After removing his ball cap, Jacob wiped his hand across his forehead. “I’d forgotten how much work bicycling is, especially that last hill.”
“I thought you went bike riding all the time.”
“When I was a child, I used to. I...” A frown carved deep lines into his brow.
“What?”
“My grandma gave me a bike one Christmas. I loved that bike. I would go all over the place. If I was quick enough, it became my way of escaping my mother when she went into a rage.”
“What happened to it?”
“During one of my mother’s rages, she ran over it with her car. I tried to fix it, but the frame was bent too much for me to do anything. I cried when the garbage man took it away.” His gaze zeroed in on her. “That was the only time I cried. Not crying used to make my mom madder. She used to shout I didn’t have a heart.”
Her stomach knotted as she listened to him talk about his mother so dispassionately as though she were a stranger. But she’d gotten to know him well enough to hear the underlying pain that his words didn’t reflect. “My mom and I had moved to a new town and I was desperate to impress the neighborhood kids.” Hannah sipped some more cool water. “I performed a few tricks with my bike. They were properly awed until the last one. I fell and broke my wrist. I never got back on it after that. I stopped riding for years until college when I took it up for exercise.”
“How did we get on a subject like this?”
“I don’t know,” she said with a shaky laugh.
“I know how.” He shifted toward her. “I find it easy to talk to you. I don’t tell others about my childhood. I prefer leaving that in my past.”
His words made her feel special. Surprisingly she found it easy to talk to him, too. Less than two months ago she’d thought of him as her enemy. Now she considered him a friend—a very good friend.
He inched closer, taking her hands in his. “I haven’t had much time in my life for dating. I made a promise years ago to become a doctor and that’s where all my energy has gone.”
Children’s laughter drifted to her, reminding her they weren’t alone. She peered at the group near the lake. Terry was showing Gabe how to skip rocks. Susie was scolding the two youngest boys to stay away from the water.
When she looked back at Jacob, the intensity in his gaze stole her breath. He bent toward her. Her heart fluttered in anticipation. He released her hands and cupped her face. He lowered his head until their mouths were inches apart. The scent of peppermint spiced the air.
Softly he brushed his lips across hers. “I think we should go out on an official date.”
“You do?” she squeaked out, her pulse racing through her body.
“Don’t you think we’ve skirted around this long enough?”
“What’s this?”
His mouth grazed hers again. “This attraction between us.”
She wanted his kiss. His eyes enticed her to forget who he was, to forget the past and grab hold of the future.
A drumroll blared. Hannah gasped and shot back.
Jacob’s eyes widened. He stared at her pocket as another drumroll sounded, loud and demanding.
She dug into her jeans. “That’s my cell.”
“A drumroll? What kind of ring is that?”
She pulled the phone out. “One I know is mine.” She flipped it open. “Hannah here.”
“I’m so sorry to bother you.”
The alarm in Meg’s voice alerted Hannah something was wrong.
“Nancy’s missing. I’ve looked everywhere and I can’t find her.”