Elizabeth felt wonderful. Secure in a sense of well-being she had never known. She curved her lips in a small, contented half smile and a soft sigh of pleasure escaped from between their rose-colored fullness as she turned to snuggle more deeply under the covers. Abruptly, the strong warmth that had encased her hand was gone—and along with it the sense of well-being. She came instantly awake. She snapped her eyes open and jerked to a sitting position, then, just as quickly, threw herself back down on the pillows and tugged the covers up under her chin. Justin! Her cheeks warmed. She had been dreaming about him. He had been holding her hand.
“Hello.”
The smile that accompanied the softly spoken word brought fresh heat into Elizabeth’s cheeks. Had she talked aloud in her sleep? Perhaps spoken his name or—or worse? She closed her eyes in an agony of embarrassment and when she opened them again, he was still smiling. She looked away. She glanced across the room to the darkness outside the window and then dropped her gaze to the lounge beside it. It was covered with a rumpled blanket and a bed pillow lay at its head. She frowned. Why was someone sleeping on her chaise? For that matter, why was Justin sitting beside her bed? Her sleep-befuddled mind started to clear, and, suddenly uneasy, she looked back at him.
“Is something wrong? Am I ill?”
“You don’t remember?”
“Nooo…” Elizabeth’s stomach began to churn.
“You swooned.” Justin’s voice was gentle. “In the library, while we were talking.”
“I swooned?” Elizabeth stared up at him. “But I’m not afrai— I mean, I— Oh.” Memory came rushing back and she jerked upright. “Abigail!”
“Abigail is fine.” He grinned. “More than fine actually. She is trying to run the entire household from her bed.”
“Sarah?” Sudden panic gripped Elizabeth. “Is Sarah—?”
Justin lifted a hand to halt her rush of words. “Everyone is fine—and safe. And they will stay safe. It’s you I’m concerned about.” His voice was warm. “How are you feeling?”
“Me?” Elizabeth’s voice squeaked. “I’m all right.” She watched Justin warily. He had been very angry with her. Why was he being so pleasant? “A little confused perhaps.”
He nodded. “Dr. Allen said you might be.”
“Dr. Allen?”
“Yes. I had him look in on you when he visited Abigail. I hope you don’t mind?”
“No, I don’t—” Elizabeth stopped and stared at him. “When he came to visit Abigail? How long have I been here?”
Justin pulled his gold watch from his pocket and glanced at it. “Sixteen hours.”
“Sixteen hours!”
He nodded affirmation, then quickly offered reassurance. “It’s no cause for concern. Dr. Allen assures me such an occurrence is not unusual in cases of extreme stress and anxiety.”
“Extreme— Oh.” Her stomach knotted. With a deliberate effort Elizabeth pushed the dark memories away, and hoped, fervently, that he would not pursue their discussion of Reginald and all that had happened to her. To avoid his gaze she glanced back over at the lounge.
“Has Trudy been sleeping here?”
Justin shook his head. “No. I have. The groom’s room was not close enough. I wanted to be here if you needed me.”
Elizabeth jerked her gaze to his face.
He smiled. “Nightmares and such.” He nodded toward the bedside table. “There is a tray with biscuits, cheese and fruit if you are hungry. Or, if you would prefer, I could ring and have some hot tea or broth prepared.”
“No, thank you.” Elizabeth’s stomach was churning with nerves. “Perhaps a little water.”
She leaned back against the headboard, gripped the coverlet securely under her chin and watched Justin as he rose and poured water into a glass. What was his real reason for spending the night in her room? And why was he staying with her now that she was awake? The troubling thought made her stomach heave. She cast about for something to distract and calm her. She looked down at Justin’s hands, at his long, strong fingers, at the few crisp, dark hairs that curled across their backs. It seemed impossible that only a few weeks ago the sight of his hands had so frightened her she had swooned, and now she wanted nothing more than to press her cheek against them. Her face burned at the thought and she carefully avoided touching his hand when he held the glass out to her.
“Thank you.”
Justin nodded and fastened his intense blue gaze upon her. “You’re flushed.” He lifted his hand toward her forehead, then quickly dropped it back down to his side. “Have you a fever?”
Elizabeth’s cheeks grew warmer. She shook her head and took a sip of the cool liquid in the glass, unable to speak, unable even to swallow. It felt as if her heart was in her throat. She forced the liquid down and handed the glass back to him, withdrawing her hand quickly when his fingers brushed against hers. Small circles of heat from his fingertips burned her flesh. Awed by the strange feeling, she laid her hand on her lap and stared down at it as if it belonged to someone else.
“Elizabeth?”
She didn’t dare look up at him. She was afraid of what he would read in her eyes. She stared at her hand. “Yes?”
“We need to talk, Elizabeth.”
Her breath caught painfully in her throat. So he was going to pursue their conversation about Reginald—or perhaps he had decided to tell her what her fate was to be. Her heart pounded. She swallowed hard, glanced up at him and nodded.
Justin sucked in his breath as their gazes met. How he longed to take her in his arms and hold her until that fear left her eyes! He spun on his heel and walked away from the bed putting distance between himself and temptation. “Do you feel strong enough to talk?” His voice was brusque. There was a pause, during which he heard nothing but the heavy thudding of his own heart. He closed his eyes and clenched his hands in frustration. Please, God, give me strength.
“Yes. I’m strong enough.”
Her voice sounded small and frightened. Justin clamped his teeth together so tightly the muscle in his jaw jumped. How could he ever break through her fear of him? Especially after last night. Oh, God, don’t make me eat of the fruit of my foolishness! Have mercy on me. For all our sakes. He took a deep breath and turned around to face her.
“I’m tired of this charade, Elizabeth.” He was amazed that his voice sounded calm and cool when his every nerve was taut with tension. “I know that I’m the one that instigated it. But I can no longer endure it. It simply cannot continue.”
Elizabeth blanched. So there it was. He hadn’t believed her and now her worst fear was coming true. He was going to put her out—rid himself of her and the trouble she caused him once and for all. Pain slashed through her, stealing her breath. She stiffened her back and lifted her gaze to his denying pain the victory. At least she could leave with her pride intact. “As you wish.” Her lips trembled in spite of her best efforts to control them.
Justin frowned. She was scared to death! He shouldn’t have blurted out the truth like that. He stalked over to the door of her dressing room, wrenched it open and emerged a moment later carrying the blue silk dressing gown he had given her. He tossed it onto the bed. “Put that on, Elizabeth.” Self-disgust made his voice gruff. “We can’t discuss this matter with you hiding behind the covers.” He turned his back and went to look out the window to give her privacy.
Elizabeth slid from the bed and lifted the dressing gown into her shaking hands. She slipped her arms into the sleeves and pulled the sash about her tiny waist, fumbling to tie it in place as her vision blurred. She swallowed back a sob, blinked her eyes and drew a deep breath of air into her lungs. She didn’t dare let the tears come—not now. She knew once they started they would go on forever.
Justin…Sarah…Mary… To never see them again! To never hear them laugh, or— Pain slashed through her again. Elizabeth gasped and reached out to grasp the carved post at the corner of the bed for support. Somehow, some way, she must get through these next few minutes without Justin learning the truth. She fixed her mind on that thought and lifted her gaze to him. For a long moment she stood memorizing the way he looked with the candlelight gleaming on his dark hair and highlighting his broad shoulders. He lifted a hand and combed it through his hair as she watched, and her chest tightened so painfully at the familiar gesture she almost cried out. At last, she straightened her back, squared her shoulders and lifted her chin. At least no one could take away her memories. She would carry them in her heart no matter where she might go. Even if it was jail. The thought terrified her anew, but she gathered her courage. There was no point in prolonging the agony.
“I’m ready now.”
Justin turned around. The dark-blue silk dressing gown draped softly over Elizabeth’s slender body. Tension pulsed through him. He started forward, then stopped and clasped his hands behind his back to keep from reaching for her. “I owe you an apology, Elizabeth.” The words came out more abruptly than he had intended. He frowned. “More than an apology actually. I owe you an explanation.” He watched surprise leap into her beautiful eyes, followed by an expression of wariness that made his heart sink. She didn’t trust him. Not that she had any reason to—not after the way he had treated her.
“You asked me a question yesterday, Elizabeth.” He softened his voice and locked his gaze on hers. “You asked me if I was so anxious to be right in my judgment of your character that I would blind myself to the truth. The answer is yes. I’ve been doing exactly that since the day we met. And I’ve been wrong…I’ve been a fool.” His eyes made a silent plea for her understanding. “I’ve no excuse for that, Elizabeth. There is no excuse for that. But there is a reason. I’d like to explain by telling you my story. Will you listen?”
Elizabeth stared at him, too astonished by his change in attitude and demeanor toward her to even answer. Had he believed her after all? Her knees gave way and she plopped down on the edge of the bed, her mind whirling. What did this mean? Would he let her stay? She opened her mouth to ask, then closed it. If he said no her hope would be gone.
“I’ll take your silence for assent.” Justin’s voice trembled. He pivoted away from her and gripped the window frame so hard his hands cramped. “I’ve told you a little about my past, Elizabeth—but there’s much you do not know.” He tried to relax but found it impossible. These next few minutes were too important—he had to make her understand. He expelled his held breath and plunged into his story.
“When I was a young, callow and carefree youth, Rebecca Sterns was the belle of Philadelphia. Every young swain in town was running after her—including me.” He grimaced at the memory. “When she seemed to prefer my company to the others, I worked up enough courage to ask for her hand in marriage. To my amazement, her father approved and Rebecca accepted.” Justin lowered his hands to his sides and leaned one broad shoulder against the window casing to stare out into the night.
“Our families gave the usual parties and balls honoring us of course, but then, only a few weeks before the wedding was to take place, the bottom suddenly fell out of my father’s shipping business. The details aren’t important. It’s enough to know that we traced the problem to his factor in London. We discovered he had been systematically stealing my father’s profits for years. Anyway, the whole thing had come to a head and the business itself was about to collapse. My father made plans to leave for England at once to set things aright. Unfortunately, the whole episode proved too much for him. He had a seizure which incapacitated him.”
Elizabeth made a soft sound of sympathy. Justin glanced over his shoulder and smiled at her. “Thank you for caring.” He drew a not too steady breath and turned back to stare out the window. It was easier to concentrate on his story that way.
“Rebecca was most understanding, of course. When I explained the situation to her she agreed I should go to London in my father’s stead. She pledged her undying love and fidelity and promised that she and her family would carry on with the wedding preparations and we would marry the very week I returned. So, with my heart full, and my hopes high, I took ship for London. The crossing was uneventful. When I arrived, I hurriedly secured a new factor, arranged to pay off the debts accrued by the old one, smoothed ruffled feathers where necessary and took the first available ship for home—the Barbara. On the way we were caught in the hurricane I told you about, with its accompanying complications, but, eventually, we made port.”
Justin straightened. His voice hardened. “Philadelphia had never looked more beautiful to me. Eager to see my promised bride I rushed straight to the Sterns’s home. It was then I discovered everything Rebecca had told me was a lie. She had decided my inheritance was in jeopardy and she could do better financially. So, after seeing me off to London, she turned her attention and her charms on an elderly count who was visiting Philadelphia at the time of my departure. While I was in London working to secure our future, Rebecca was busy being courted by the widowed, somewhat infirm count. His title, vast English estates, and very large purse made him more attractive to Rebecca than a young man struggling to maintain a family shipping business that was in danger of failing. She married him. They sailed for England the week before my return. I never saw her again.”
“And just as well!”
“You’re right of course—though I didn’t feel that way at the time. I felt hurt, betrayed and angry.” Justin’s voice was full of tension. He turned from the window to face Elizabeth and his heart leaped with hope. She was on her feet, her hands were clenched and her lovely blue eyes were flashing fire. She was the very picture of indignation. Surely, she would not be so angry on his behalf if she did not care for him at least a little! He turned away to hide the smile he could not stop, lowered his head, clasped his hands behind his back and began to pace as he picked up the thread of his story.
“My father had never recovered fully from the seizure, Laina was already married to Stanford Brighton and living in New York, so I—having been soured on romantic relationships by my experience with Rebecca—threw all of my energy into rebuilding the shipping line, or what was left of it.” The loneliness he had felt then crept into Justin’s voice. He stopped in front of the fireplace, lifted a piece of sculpture off the mantel and turned it over and over in his hands as he continued.
“I worked hard, put in long hours and took a few risks. When father died, and the war came, I took a few more. I was fortunate. Eventually I paid off the debts and profits began to accumulate. I made a few new investments and bought new, faster ships to add to the line. Everything I touched prospered. But I didn’t have a home—at least, not the kind I wanted.”
He put the sculpture back, folded his arms across his broad chest, leaned back against the mantel and swept the room with his gaze. “So, I had this house built—complete with bridal chamber and a fanlight above the front door that shouted to the world that I had hope again. Hope for a family…a home…love. And then I met Margaret.” Justin shoved away from the mantel and pulled his gaze back to fasten on Elizabeth’s.
“She swooned at my feet in the middle of Chestnut Street. That was our introduction. From the very first it seemed I had found all I had ever wanted. She was attractive, sweet, loving, helpless….” He drew a deep breath and focused his gaze on the opposite wall. “When she told me her husband had been killed—that she had a small child and was carrying another, she seemed so pathetically brave and noble I asked her to be my wife.”
Elizabeth felt the color drain from her face. She stepped to the chair Justin had been sitting in and stood behind it with her hands clutching the back rail. She did not want to hear about Justin’s love for his first wife. She tried her best to shut out his voice by concentrating on the intricate stitches of the beautifully woven fabric covering the seat.
“Because of the situation there was no wedding trip, of course.” Justin glanced at Elizabeth’s pale, tense face and allowed himself another tiny measure of hope. “I brought Margaret home to these rooms—and out of consideration for her delicate condition remained in mine.”
Elizabeth winced. “Justin, please—”
“I’m almost finished, Elizabeth.” He turned and gripped the mantel with both hands. “I gave Margaret whatever she desired, whatever she asked for—jewelry, clothes, money.” He paused. The muscle along his jaw twitched with remembered anger. He pushed himself away and walked over to stare out the window again. “We went on that way until Mary’s birth. A few weeks after that stressful event, I made a business trip to New York. I had expected to be gone several days but I finished my business early, and, eager to be with my new family, I hurried home. Margaret was gone when I arrived. Her lover—Sarah and Mary’s father—had escaped jail and come for her.”
He heard Elizabeth’s startled gasp and turned around to look at her. She was staring at him with a mixture of shock, disbelief and horror. “How terrible for you!” Her eyes widened. “And how…how uncanny. No wonder you thought that I—”
Justin nodded. The relief made him feel light-headed. She understood! Or at least she recognized the similarities. It was a start.
“What did you do?”
Her voice was a mere whisper.
“I went after them.” He lifted his hand and rubbed at the tense muscles in the back of his neck. “Margaret knew where I kept money, jewelry and other valuables. They took it all and used my carriage to make their escape. The only thing they left behind was their children.” He heard the bitterness creeping into his voice but made no effort to hide it. He had carried it inside for too long—it was time to be rid of it.
“Eventually, I found them on a little traveled path outside of town. They had missed a curve and gone over an embankment.” His mind filled with the remembered carnage of the scene—the maimed horse he had to destroy, the broken body of his wife’s lover pinned beneath the wrecked carriage with a shard of glass from the broken lamp protruding from his throat, and Margaret herself lying hurt and unconscious in the dirt and blood.
“Her lover died instantly. His neck was…broken.” Justin pushed open the casement and took a deep breath of the soft, night air. “Margaret was alive but badly hurt. I brought her back here, to this room, and sent for the doctor. There was nothing he could do. It was only a matter of time.”
Mama went away with the bad mans, and then got deaded. Sarah had been right. Elizabeth’s eyes filled with tears for the betrayed man and the frightened, abandoned child.
“Margaret regained consciousness just before she died.” Justin drew a ragged breath and turned back to look at Elizabeth. “It was then she told me what a fool I was. How easy it had been for her to trick me into believing she loved me—that all along she had only wanted a place of comfort to stay in until her lover came for her. A place to leave their children. She laughed at me—ridiculed what she called my noble, romantic love. With her last breath she killed the man I was before I met her. She died mocking me and I vowed I would never trust, never love, another woman as long as I lived. I was sick of lies…sick of duplicity…and sick of greed.”
The bitterness poured out of Justin along with his words. For the first time he saw how sad a person Margaret had been and forgave her. The burden of anger he had carried for so long disappeared—he was free. He turned, took another deep breath of the soft, evening air, pulled the window closed and faced Elizabeth again.
“Of course, it wasn’t long before I realized I needed someone to run my home and care for the children Margaret had left behind. I also needed someone to serve as a barrier to all the scheming women that wanted my money and didn’t care what they had to do to get it. I needed a relationship that was safe.”
“The marriage of convenience.”
“Yes. The marriage of convenience. My safe relationship.” Justin’s heart pounded as he moved forward until he was inches from the chair that stood between them. “That’s why you entered into the agreement isn’t it, Elizabeth? So that you would be safe.”
She dropped her gaze to her hands. “Yes.”
“And because you didn’t believe in love? Isn’t that what you told me that day in the library?” His deep voice trembled as he laid out the truth between them. “Didn’t you say you didn’t believe in love between a man and woman—between a husband and wife?”
Sorrow and grief for all they would never have in life closed her throat. She nodded.
“And do you still believe that, Elizabeth?”
His voice…there was something… Elizabeth lifted her head. There, resting on Justin’s upturned palm, was her grandmother’s brooch. The strength left her body. She dug her fingers into the back of the chair for support. She had hoped—
“I know how much you enjoy reading my grandmother’s Bible, Elizabeth, so I went to the library to bring it upstairs for you. I found the brooch tucked between the pages of the book of Ruth.” His hand shook. “You were in the library when Burton-Smythe came, weren’t you?”
Her heart pounded. She couldn’t face him. She closed her eyes and nodded.
“And you left the brooch as a message to me.”
So he had understood. Tears squeezed from under Elizabeth’s lashes. She was to have nothing left—not even her pride. She wiped the tears away and straightened her shoulders. “Yes. Reginald was watching me so closely I had no opportunity to speak to anyone, or to write a note.” She reached out and touched the betraying brooch with a trembling finger. “This was the only message I could leave you. I wasn’t certain you would remember the story of it and understand, but…I had to try. I—I couldn’t bear the thought that—that you would never know that—that—” A sob caught in her throat. She buried her face in her hands.
Joy, swift and powerful, flooded Justin’s soul. He dropped the brooch into his waistcoat pocket, pulled out the emerald-and-gold ring she had returned to him and gently lowered her left hand from her face. It trembled as he pressed his lips to it. “I’ve a confession to make, Elizabeth…I love you.” Her head jerked up and he took her astounded gaze captive with his own. “I’ve fought it with everything I had in me, but I’ve loved you from the beginning—and I want to love you forever.” His hand shook as he slid the ring on her finger, turned her hand over, kissed her palm, then trailed his lips across the soft mound at the base of her thumb and pressed their heat to her narrow wrist. “I don’t want a safe marriage of convenience, Elizabeth—I want you in my arms.” His voice was ragged with desire. Justin cleared his throat, released her hand and stepped back before he lost control.
“I know you are frightened of me—of…of intimate love, Elizabeth. And I understand your fear, now. I understand, and I promise I will do my very best to be patient in my love for you. But, oh, I need you so, Elizabeth!” He held his breath. “Will you do me the honor of being my wife?”
For one frightful moment, Elizabeth thought she was going to die from her happiness. Her heart raced. Her pulse thudded. Her lungs forgot how to breathe—and then the tears came and the pressure in her chest released. She blinked the tears away and gave Justin a smile that completely destroyed his hard-won self-control. “Yes—oh, yes, Justin! I love you. I love you so much! And you don’t have to be patient with me. Not now…not ever! I’m not afraid of your love.”
The blue silk dressing gown whispered softly as Elizabeth Shannon Randolph moved around the chair and stepped joyfully into the safe, loving circle of her husband’s strong, welcoming arms.