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I stumbled through the rest of my first week in a bit of a haze. I kept up the amazing standard of work, which helped me to outshine the rest of the new staff members, but as for everything else I blended into the background.
I just didn’t know how to act now. Not only was Dr. Turner here, working in this hospital (well, it seemed like he was practically in charge of this hospital!), but that he knew me. He remembered me, after all this time. My face, out of hundreds, was the one that he recognized.
What did it mean that he remembered me? Surely it meant something! Then again, did it even matter what it meant, he was still above me in my place of work, he still taught me once, it was still wrong for me to even think about reaching out to touch him.
“Are you coming out tonight after work?” Nancy asked as she caught up with me in the lunch room. “A big group of us newbies are going to a bar to blow off some steam. You up for it?” It was strange, we’d never really been close before, but something about this job was bringing us closer together, creating a friendship. I didn’t even find her as annoying as I once did. “There will be guys there. Cute ones too, I’ve been checking them out all week long.”
As she wiggled her eyebrows at me, I wanted to screw my nose up at the idea. I hadn’t met any guy that’d had any sort of impact on me yet, except for the one that I needed to stop thinking about. That wasn’t going to be enough to encourage me to go out, but maybe I did need to blow off some steam. It could be fun, right?
“Okay, sure, sounds good. What time are you leaving?”
“Everyone will be at the bar at eight. The one near you actually, on the corner. Should be a good laugh.”
Then she pinched my hip, smirked at me, and she walked off, leaving me alone to try and get myself in the mood for some much needed fun.
***
I SHOULDN’T HAVE COME out. That was one mistake I never should’ve made. I knew it the moment I crashed back into my small one bedroom apartment that I wasn’t in the mood. All I wanted to do was fall into bed, to sleep the long, hard week off, but I didn’t. Mostly because Nancy kept texting me to insist it was what I needed.
I pulled on the red dress that swung out at the hips, and I straightened my long dark hair. I even went as far as to put on some make-up, all to keep Nancy happy.
And where was my so-called friend now? She’d abandoned me to make out with one of the guys on the dance floor. Actually, it had gotten to the stage now where it was almost inappropriate, it was slowly getting to the point where I might need to go and separate them before things went too far...
I didn’t begrudge her having a good time, and I wasn’t even really annoyed that she’d left me by myself. My issue lay solely in jealousy. Ever since I’d seen Dr. Turner in the hospital, a fire had been lit in the pit of my stomach and I knew it could never be sated or dulled. I would love to think that he could walk into this bar, that he would make a beeline for me and he’d kiss me passionately, but that was never going to happen.
I wasn’t in the classroom anymore, I couldn’t daydream about a relationship that was never going to happen. I was supposed to be more grown up. Urgh, what the hell was wrong with me?
“Would you like to dance?” I was suddenly shaken from my thoughts by one of the other guys–Ted, I thought his name might be. “I mean,” he shrugged his shoulders awkwardly, “you don’t have to, you just look a little bored.”
He seemed nice enough, he was cute in a preppy boy way, but there was no point in even considering it. He didn’t give me that spark, that instant burn, the pulse racing right through my body, and I was a great believer that meant everything. Without that, I didn’t think that any couple could last.
“I’m sorry,” I told him regretfully. “But I’m exhausted. I think I’m just going to go home. It’s nothing to do with you, it’s just been a long week, you know?” He’d been through it too, he had to understand. “Will you make sure that Nancy gets back okay?”
“I think Carl has control over that,” he smirked while nodding over to where they were now in an intense conversation, probably about whoes home they were going back to. “But sure. You have a good night.” Luckily he didn’t look too disappointed, I certainly wasn’t breaking his heart.
“Yeah, thanks, you too.” I touched his arm, and got nothing. The mere handshake with Dr. Turner had me buzzing with electricity. That was what I needed. “See ya.”
I moved through the crowd of dancing, sweaty bodies in the club, all of them just getting started as I was headed to bed, but I didn’t regret that decision. I needed to be by myself. As the cold air hit my face letting me know that I was finally outside, a smile reached my lips.
It had been a long, confusing, yet fabulous week. All I needed to do was recover from the shock of seeing Dr. Turner. Once I got over that and I pushed my crush to one side, I could focus on going down the positive path that I wanted to be on. Things were going so well with work, I didn’t want to wreck it over some man I didn’t even know. It was too damn important for that.