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No one purposely sets out to hurt a friend’s feelings, or let their father down. But it happens. As long as people do wrong, stupid, or hurtful things—even when they don’t mean to—they will need to say “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry” is a two-word phrase right up there with “thank you” and “excuse me” that makes the difference between thoughtful and thoughtless people, between kindness and rudeness, between civility and incivility. And you know which side of the line you want to be on.
Sometimes it seems hard to say “I’m sorry,” but it’s much harder to walk around with the burden of knowing you haven’t tried to make amends for doing something harmful or hurtful to another person.
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We all make mistakes and have accidents; we all do things, without thinking, that end up hurting other people; and we all have seen that our best intentions don’t always result in doing the right thing.
That’s when you say “I’m sorry.” “I’m sorry I knocked into the table and broke your favorite piece of pottery.” “I’m sorry I didn’t include you when I went to the movies with Lacey and Anna Belle last weekend.” “I’m sorry I forgot to take the dog out today and he made a mess on the rug.”
And because it can be hard to say you’re sorry, in the future you’ll try harder not to make the same mistake again.
YOU DO
Say “I’m sorry” without adding a “but.”
YOU DON’T
Say, “I’m sorry I knocked into the table and broke your favorite piece of pottery, but you should have put it on a higher shelf if you liked it so much.” You don’t say, “I’m sorry I didn’t include you with the others, but I was in a hurry.” You don’t say, “I’m sorry I forgot to let the dog out, but I wanted to watch the end of the show and he should have let me know he needed to go out.”
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Why
Adding an excuse to what you did or didn’t do means you are not taking responsibility for your actions, and that makes your apology pretty worthless.
YOU DO
Say “I’m sorry and—” if you need to say more than “I’m sorry” to make the situation right. “I’m sorry I was careless and broke the bowl. Can I help buy a new one with my babysitting money?”
YOU DON’T
Assume that “I’m sorry” is always enough to make amends.
Why
Because as you get older you learn that sometimes you need to back up your words with action.
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A lady doesn’t delay her apology hoping the situation will just go away. It won’t, and the sooner you say “I’m sorry,” the sooner everyone feels better.
A lady doesn’t expect to be rewarded for saying “I’m sorry” but is grateful when her apology is graciously accepted.
A lady doesn’t assume an apology is the end of the situation, but she understands it’s the first step toward making things right.