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There’s a fine line between asking for an occasional favor, and asking someone to do something inappropriate or beyond the call of friendship.
If you’ve had to stay home sick, asking your classmate who carpools with you to pick up your school assignments and drop them by your house is a favor anyone would be happy to do. Asking a friend for some help with a question you don’t understand is also a favor. Asking a friend if you can copy their homework because you’ve missed a few days of school and don’t understand the assignment is crossing the line and putting your friend in a very uncomfortable position.
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Asking your little brother to cover your chore of walking the dog one afternoon after school because you have a huge paper due the next day is a favor. Asking your little brother to walk the dog every day for a week is taking advantage of your status in the birth order and is guaranteed to make him mad enough to tell your parents.
Asking your teammates if it’s okay to leave right after practice and not help collect and put away the equipment because your big sister is picking you up and you’re going out for dinner is a favor. Skipping out on your duties as a member of a team on a regular basis makes you a bad teammate, and is certain to foster bad feelings.
Knowing the difference now between asking for a favor and taking advantage of someone’s good nature will be even more important as you get older and need bigger favors. When you go to the mountains for a week with your family and you ask your friend to come to your house every day to feed your cat, the right thing to do is bring your friend a small token of appreciation—a cute souvenir, a box of candy, a bar of soap. In the not too distant future, when you’re going to college six hours away, you might need a ride home for fall break. The right thing to do is offer to fill the driver’s car with gas.
A favor is an act of kindness someone does for you beyond what is due; a lady doesn’t take advantage or fail to express her appreciation.
YOU DO
Ask for a favor only when you’re in a pinch and really need it.
YOU DON’T
Ask for favors over and over from the same person.
Why
The person you keep asking will understandably begin to avoid you.
YOU DO
Acknowledge the favor you have received.
YOU DON’T
Take advantage of a person’s kindness or inability to say no to you.
Why
Word travels among friends and you don’t want to get a reputation as a user.
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A lady says “thank you” when her brother agrees to cover dog-walking duty that day, and again after he does it.
A lady offers to reciprocate a favor, telling her brother, for example, that if he walks the dog for her, she will cover one of his chores.
A lady gets someone who does a big favor for her a small token of appreciation.