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If you have spent your entire life so far eating at the kitchen table with your family; if even holiday and birthday dinners are extremely casual affairs with disposable plates and plastic cutlery; and if the only places you have eaten out are restaurants where you order, pay for, and receive your food from a counter, then you are probably familiar with paper napkins.
Soon enough, though, you will be a guest at a dinner with cloth napkins. The good news is that proper usage of cloth napkins is pretty much the same as with paper napkins. The bad news is that if you don’t know basic, proper napkin usage, that will be much more noticeable on occasions involving cloth napkins. Again, the good news is that napkin rules are pretty simple.
As soon as you are seated, take the napkin from beside your plate, unfold it, and place it across your lap.
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Keep it in your lap unless you need to wipe your fingers or mouth—not your entire face. (It’s a napkin, not a washcloth.)
When you are finished eating, place your napkin back on the table beside your plate, loosely folded and not wadded up in a ball.
YOU DO
Unfold your napkin and lay it in your lap.
YOU DON’T
Unfurl your napkin and give it a big shake.
Why
A napkin is not a flag, and you don’t want to slap someone as a result of your theatrics.
YOU DO
Use your napkin to wipe your fingers as needed, particularly if the menu includes messy items like chicken wings or corn on the cob.
YOU DON’T
Lick your fingers.
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Why
Licking one’s fingers is something only done in solitude, without witnesses. You are at a civilized table, not stranded on a desert island.
YOU DO
Use your napkin to cover your mouth if you start coughing or have to sneeze.
YOU DON’T
Blow your nose on your napkin.
Why
Do you really want to use a germ-covered napkin to blot your lips? If you need to blow your nose, excuse yourself from the table and find a tissue.
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A lady who is old enough to wear lipstick blots her lips on a tissue before coming to the table so she doesn’t leave stains on her napkin or marks on her drinking glass.
A lady leaves her loosely folded napkin on her seat if she has to get up from the table for any reason before the meal is over.
If a lady’s napkin falls to the floor, she quickly picks it up and puts it back on her lap.
A lady puts her napkin on the table beside her plate—not on it—when she is finished eating, as a signal that her plate may be cleared.