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Chapter 18

DINING IN A
RESTAURANT

Going out to eat in a restaurant is similar to being a guest in someone’s house, except that you don’t know the people who are serving you, and you probably won’t ever see them again. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t follow the same rules and be just as courteous as you would be in your friend’s house or at your grandmother’s.

Different restaurants have different levels of formality, from bare tables and plastic forks to thick linen tablecloths and real silver. But there will always be a napkin to put on your lap and there will always be cutlery to use properly; your water glass will always be to your right and your bread plate to your left.

The biggest difference between being a guest in a home and a patron in a restaurant is that in a home, everyone eats whatever the host has prepared. In a restaurant, you may choose—within reason—what you want to eat.

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When you were little and couldn’t read, a grown-up at the table ordered for you. Later, the server may have handed you a special children’s menu that included your favorites like spaghetti, hot dogs, and chicken fingers. Almost always, these meals included a drink and a dessert, and they were all the same price. Once you decided between the cheeseburger and the pizza, you didn’t have to give it another thought.

Now that you’ve aged out of the cute placemats, crayons, and kiddie meals, you’ll be given a real menu. You might see lots of items with ingredients you’ve never heard of; that can be intimidating, even for grown-up experienced diners.

But no one is going to let you go hungry; you can always ask an adult at the table or the server to tell you more about the dish.

YOU DO

Aim for the middle of the price range if you are dining out as a guest.

YOU DON’T

Order the most expensive item or the least expensive item on the menu, unless the least expensive item is your favorite thing.

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Why

Your host is trusting you to make good decisions, and ordering a $50 steak when she orders the $25 salmon is not a good decision. On the other hand, ordering something you don’t like just because it is the cheapest thing on the menu is wasteful if you don’t eat it.

YOU DO

Ask your server to explain a dish you are not familiar with.

YOU DON’T

Order “steak tartare with farm egg yolk” because you recognize the words steak and egg—especially when your server raises an eyebrow and says, “Are you sure?”

Why

You will probably be quite shocked when a plate of raw ground beef topped by a raw egg is set before you. Not understanding what you are ordering can have very unpleasant results.

YOU DO

Speak up—politely and discreetly—to whichever grown-up at the table is the host, if your meal is unsatisfactory.

YOU DON’T

Suffer through an ice-cold steak or a soup so oversalted your tongue curls.

Why

Restaurants count on satisfied customers to remain in business. If you don’t speak up at the restaurant, they don’t have a chance to correct their error. On the other hand, you don’t need to throw a fit about it or let an entire plate of food go to waste.

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A lady waits until everyone has received their meal before she begins eating.

A lady may politely ask if her salad can be made without onions, or if she might have Swiss cheese rather than cheddar on her cheeseburger.

A lady knows to tip at least 15 percent if she is eating with friends and everyone is responsible for their own check.

A lady treats all restaurant staff—from the manager to the busboys—with respect.