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What’s so hard about accepting a gift? You just open it up and say “thank you.” Sooner rather than later, your mom will hand you a pile of note cards and a pen and tell you not to leave the house until you write your thank-you notes.
Other than saying “thank you,” there aren’t really rules about accepting gifts, but there are niceties we observe—even when your great-aunt Hazel gives you a sweater that is clearly three sizes too big and smells suspiciously like Aunt Hazel. Or your grandmother gives you this book, when you were hoping for a gift card to Sephora.
No matter what the gift is, the point is that someone has taken the time and effort to choose it just for you, wrapped it, and given it to you with the natural expectation that the gesture will be appreciated.
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YOU DO
Say “thank you” as soon as you open the gift.
YOU DON’T
Say, “Oh, I already have this book” or “This really isn’t my color.”
Why
Even if you do have the book or fuchsia does make you look ill, “thank you” is the only appropriate response for any and every gift you receive. You don’t have to lie and say, “Oh, I love fuchsia!” But you do say, “Thank you for the pretty sweater, Aunt Hazel.”
YOU DO
Take time to acknowledge every gift you open when there are many gifts to be opened—at your birthday party, for example.
YOU DON’T
Tear through packages as if you’re trying to beat the clock.
Why
When you are opening your gifts at a birthday party, it is part of the fun for your guests to see and admire what everyone else has brought. Opening gifts at a more leisurely pace also allows you to keep the cards with the gifts, which will be important later when you sit down to write thank-you notes.
YOU DO
Say something nice about each gift you receive.
YOU DON’T
Go on and on about one particular gift and barely acknowledge the others.
Why
Yes, the Tiffany key chain may be something one of your friends, with the means to afford it, knows you have coveted for months. But effusive gushing over the key chain will make it appear you like that gift more than any of the others you have received. Even if you do, you can save your rave for the thank-you note you write to your generous friend.
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A lady says “thank you” for every gift, the ones she loves and the ones she doesn’t.
A lady never points out to the giver that she already has the gift she just opened.
A lady can think of something nice to say about every gift she receives. “Thank you for the Figaro CD, Uncle Harold. It will be my first opera!”
A lady does not announce the amount of a check her grandmother has enclosed in her birthday card. She simply says, “Thank you, Nana” and puts the check back in the card.