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Chapter 33

ATTENDING A
RELIGIOUS SERVICE

If you attend religious services on a regular basis with your family, you already know what is expected of you. By now, you have graduated out of children’s church and attend the entire service. There are probably times it seems so long and the sermon is so boring that you wish you were back in children’s church. But you are growing up, and you should be proud that your parents and clergy consider you mature enough to be with the adults.

There will be times when you may be invited to attend church with a friend. While every denomination and religion has its own order of service and rituals, sometimes these even vary from one congregation to another.

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Though it may not be familiar to you, there’s no need to be nervous, even if your family doesn’t regularly attend a church or synagogue and the only times you ever go are for holidays like Christmas, Easter, Rosh Hashanah, or Yom Kippur.

You should keep in mind that you are a guest in a house of worship and follow the basic rules that you would as a guest in the home of someone you are meeting for the first time. Watch what your friend does for guidance, and if you are unsure about something, ask.

YOU DO

Ask your friend in advance what the proper dress is for her house of worship.

YOU DON’T

Assume that wearing your best clothes is the right thing to do.

Why

Some churches have become very casual, with blue jeans and sneakers the norm. If that is the case, you would feel uncomfortable in your best dress and heels. On the other hand, if you wear jeans and everyone else is dressed up, you’ll feel disrespectful. Asking for guidance is the smart thing to do.

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YOU DO

Sit and stand when the rest of the congregation does.

YOU DON’T

Cross yourself or genuflect, join in the prayers, or take communion, unless it is part of your tradition.

Why

Following the lead of the congregation as they sit and stand is expected. If your faith does not make the sign of the cross or genuflect at the altar, you are not expected to fumble through it as a guest. If you have a fundamental disagreement with some tenet of this church’s faith, you are not required to join in as others recite their creed, but you are expected to remain quiet and respectful as others do. There are some faiths that only offer communion to members of their own faith, and it would be awkward of you to presume that communion is open to all. If the worship leader announces that communion is open to all and you would like to participate, you may do so.

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A lady does not bring anything to eat or drink, or chew gum, in the sanctuary.

A lady turns her cell phone off before entering the sanctuary.

A lady does not wear revealing or inappropriate clothing to religious services.

A lady does not bring a book to read during the service; she sits with good posture and is attentive.

A lady does not indicate she disagrees with the theology or doctrine of a particular faith during the service, even if she does. That is a conversation to have later at home with one’s family.