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Chapter 34

TRAVELING ON A
PLANE

Of all the ways you can travel, flying on a plane is the most fun, exciting, and grown-up. It can also be a bit complicated.

It’s not like hopping in the family car in your sweat pants and T-shirt with your pillow and iPod, when the biggest thing you have to worry about is making sure your brother doesn’t cross the line onto your side of the backseat.

More than likely you’ll be flying with your parents or another grown-up and they’ll help you through, but there are some things to keep in mind to make the experience easier and more pleasant for you, your family, your fellow passengers, and the flight attendants.

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These days, airlines pack a lot of people—and their belongings—into very limited, confined, and inflexible space, so it’s very important to be considerate of others.

YOU DO

Familiarize yourself with the basic rules of airport security.

YOU DON’T

Wear your lace-up boots, bring a quart-sized bottle of face wash, bury your laptop at the bottom of your carry-on, or make jokes about the sharp objects in your nail kit.

Why

Airport security is very serious business, and security personnel will not take kindly to jokes about safety infractions. Other passengers are anxious to get through the screening area as quickly as possible and if you have to unlace your boots and unload your bag, they will get irritated. Wear slip-on shoes, take your coat off, and have your laptop out of your bag before getting in line. And do not carry bottles of fluid more than three ounces in your carry-on bag. Everyone will be very impressed with your maturity and expertise.

YOU DO

Go directly to your seat, hold your carry-on in front of you, keep your purse close to your body, and stash your things in the overheard bin above your seat or under the seat in front of you as quickly as possible.

YOU DON’T

Linger in the aisle, let your bag bump someone in the shoulder or head, or block traffic while you unload your book, laptop, and iPod from your backpack.

Why

Airlines need to get people seated and planes off the ground as quickly as possible. One person’s cluelessness can affect an entire aircraft.

YOU DO

Keep in mind that you will be seated in very close proximity to others.

YOU DON’T

Bring anything with a particularly strong scent—you or food—onto the plane, or wear something so scanty that the person beside you is disturbed or repelled.

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Why

Odors—whether it is your new perfume or the jumbo bean burrito you bought before boarding— have nowhere to go on a plane except up the nostrils of the people close to you. Strong perfume can cause headaches. If you must bring food on the plane, make it something odorless and tidy. Skimpy tank tops and super-short miniskirts are not appropriate for air travel.

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A lady follows the instructions of the flight attendant and does not press the call button unless it is very important.

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A lady does not turn the volume up on her iPod or laptop so loud that other passengers can hear.

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A lady does not recline her seat all the way, kick the seat in front of her, or grab it when she has to stand up.

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A lady uses only the areas assigned to her seat.

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A lady brings something on the plane to occupy herself with so she does not annoy others.

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A lady does not use the airplane’s restroom as a place to put on her makeup, redo her hair, or spray on perfume.