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When you were little, you needed help taking a bath, washing your hair, and getting dressed. Now that you’re older, you can do all those things yourself, and you definitely want to do them behind a closed door.
When your mother, your sister, or your close friends want to tell you something privately, they might get very close to you so they can whisper it near your ear, and that’s fine. But if someone you don’t know very well or at all does the same thing, it’s not fine. In fact, it probably makes you very uncomfortable.
Everyone has a need for boundaries, privacy, and personal space. You have the responsibility to respect others’ space and every right to expect it for yourself as well.
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YOU DO
Knock on a closed door and wait for a response.
YOU DON’T
Knock and then barge in, or even worse, not knock at all.
Why
The door to a room might be closed because someone is changing clothes or using the bathroom. If you don’t knock first and then wait until the person inside says “come in” or “just a minute,” you might both be embarrassed.
YOU DO
Ask your family to knock when your bedroom door is closed.
YOU DON’T
Turn your music up so loud when you’re in your bedroom that you can’t hear when someone knocks or calls your name.
Why
Privacy is different from isolation. If you are always locked in your room with your music turned up so loud you can’t hear anything on the other side of your door, your family will begin to wonder why you are isolating yourself from the rest of the household, and they would have every right to be concerned.
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YOU DO
Set boundaries in the bedroom you share with your sister.
YOU DON’T
Leave your things all over her bed, desk, or dresser— or throw her things all over the floor if she leaves them on your bed, desk, or dresser.
Why
Sharing a room isn’t easy, even if you and your sister are the best of friends. Setting boundaries and even an imaginary dividing line might sound silly, but knowing what the rules are in advance will help avoid and resolve issues in the future.
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A lady doesn’t slam a door.
A lady doesn’t wiggle the handle of a locked bathroom door to show the person inside she’s in a hurry. If the person in the bathroom is taking a long time, a lady softly knocks on the door and hopes that is enough to let the person using the bathroom know someone is waiting.
A lady doesn’t go through other people’s things, read someone else’s mail or journal, or eavesdrop on a private conversation.