1
What was your first word? Your mother will probably tell you it was Mama. Your father will insist it was Dada. Your grandmother might even believe with all her heart that it was Nana. But you have no recollection. Chances are, though, that somewhere between Mama, Dada, and Nana, and before your first complete sentence, you learned the word please.
Your mother may have squatted down beside you, cookie in hand and said, “Please. I want a cookie, please,” intending for you to repeat it back to her before rewarding you with the treat. Your dad may have sat down with you on the floor, ball in hand, and said, “Please play ball” before rolling it across the carpet to you. You also probably heard your parents use it with each other—“May I please have the paper when you’re done with it?” “Will you please take the trash out?”— and saw the positive results.
2
Along with mama, daddy, ball, and cookie, please is one of the most important words you learn when you begin talking. It’s hard to turn down someone who prefaces or ends a request with the word please. It doesn’t matter if you are two years old and asking for a lollipop; eight years old and asking for a new backpack to replace the baby one from first grade; twelve years old and asking for money for a movie; fourteen and asking for a ride to the mall; or seventeen and asking a teacher to write a letter of recommendation for your college application. Please is a word that if you are smart—and considerate, which is just as important as being smart— you will use for the rest of your life.
YOU DO
Say “please” consistently, to everyone, always. It doesn’t matter if you’re asking your brother to “pass the potatoes, please,” or asking the busy clerk in the store to please wrap your purchase for your mother’s birthday gift.
YOU DON’T
Treat your little brother, however annoying he may be, with any less consideration than you do a stranger. And vice versa.
Why
Because please really is a magic word that adds a layer of pleasantry to every request. The more you use it, the more natural it becomes to you.
3
A lady says the word please every time she makes a request, no matter how small it seems.
A lady answers, “Yes, please,” if someone asks if she would like something. If not, she says, “No, thank you.”
A lady knows “please” is just enough. Saying “pretty please” or “pleeeeeeeease” is unnecessary and can be annoying.