Clare
Monday 4th February, 11.00 a.m.
The rest of the morning passes quickly; English is my favourite subject but all we’re doing these days are mock exams ahead of the GCSEs. I write quickly, my pen whizzing across the page, filling sheet after sheet with my neat blue handwriting.
Beside me, I can hear Lauren sighing over her papers – English has never been her strong subject. I shift my own paper slightly so that she can see.
‘You can buy me lunch later,’ I mouth, and she grins, winks back at me. I guess we’re friends again, then.
I finish the paper early and sit back in my chair, toss my long blonde hair across my shoulder. Andy Miles grins at me from across the room but I ignore him. The boys in this class are morons, children. They’re not like me and him.
Everyone else is still working – I’m the first to finish. Harry Goodwin walks past the classroom window, sees me and smiles, and I think of him in the lane this morning, his hands on my shoulders. Lauren thinks I’m mad not to go for it with him – we rowed about it last night. If I’m honest, I think Lauren’s a bit jealous that Harry’s not interested in her, but if it was up to me, she could have him. I’ve basically told her so, anyway. Maybe I should just tell him I’m not interested, tell him Lauren likes him. But I don’t know how he’d react.
My mind drifts to Mum, her pleading eyes as she looked at Ian at breakfast time, the desperate way she always gets. I hate the way he tries to suck up to me, all smiles one minute and grumpy the next. I can’t trust him, and I know some of that is Mum’s fault really, but it means I’m so tense all the time at home. I stretch a little in my chair, arms over my head, trying to ease the ache in my shoulders. My necklace rises up and I reach for it, fiddle with the little gold heart. It’s a nice present. I never take it off. Mum gave me a hug when I opened it, pressing me to her chest like she did when I was a little girl.
‘My baby, all grown up!’ she said, cupping my face in her hands and smiling at me. ‘I can’t believe you’re sixteen now. Time goes so fast.’
At that moment, I really loved her.
I wish it could be just Mum and me. I don’t know why she doesn’t understand that. That way, we’d both be safe.